Chapter 35 - Clem
As soon as I had my money, I ducked into a little shop that sold touristy stuff and bought a hat and a dark blue Bruins sweatshirt.
In their changing stall, I tugged the new top over my head and then tucked my hair as best I could into the cap and, with a deep, fortifying breath, left the safety of that shop.
Was anywhere safe if two crazed men were after me? I kept close to the few clusters of people who were still getting in the last bit of shopping before the mall closed, trying to make it look like I was hanging out with them in case of security cameras.
Oh God, I was worrying about someone searching security footage for me, but I wasn’t off my rocker. This was real, and I’d already lived out the nightmare of being trapped with a controlling, abusive man. I wasn’t about to get stuck in that loop again.
That’s not Rurik.
Oh, it wasn’t? How did I know? When did he ever explain those late nights to me, or the source of his bruises, or…
the apartment and the marriage contract?
There was too much, and an absolute avalanche coming down on me that kept me moving toward the opposite end of the mall.
Just using my phone to order a new car had me on edge, but what else could I do?
Staying mixed in with the small crowds and keeping my head down, I made it to another exit by the time the rideshare app alerted me that my car was pulling up outside. I was in the moment he came to a stop, pretending I was putting my purse on the floorboards so I could duck down.
“Where are we going tonight?” he asked jovially. A nice, grandfatherly type, reminding me of one of my Aunt Gigi’s church friends.
I hadn’t called my aunt in days, too busy and caught up in the whirlwind of success and travel and romance and…
all of it built on lies. She believed I had landed on my feet at last and was no longer worried about me or trying to send me what little extra money she had.
To think I had told her she could visit once I was in my new apartment, all the while secretly hoping Rurik would make what we had real.
But it was real, wasn’t it? We were legally married, and according to him, we were staying that way. How was I so stupid not to put it all together myself? Because I liked him. More than liked him.
“Miss?” the driver asked, and I realized with a jolt we were still at the curb at the mall.
“Uh, just head south,” I said, staying low as I pulled out my phone.
What was I doing, using my phone to find a place to stay? If Rurik was this major mafia king, didn’t they have all sorts of ways to track and trace usage? I turned it off, loath to chuck it out the window and be without any means of communication or information.
Once we were in a less populated spot, I saw a sign for a motel and asked him to drop me off there.
He didn’t seem delighted about the idea, but kept his mouth shut.
I tipped him in cash, not wanting to turn my phone back on.
Thankfully, the place had a vacancy, and I found I was holding my breath when I got into my room at last.
The place was a dump, with a damp smell permeating the dark, limp curtains and the faded polyester bedspread. I laughed at myself for wrinkling up my nose at the stained grout around the leaky bathroom sink. It didn’t take me too long to become accustomed to the finer things in life, did it?
Rurik gave me everything I ever dreamed of, but was it worth it if I didn’t have my freedom? Could I go back, waiting for the clock to tick down to the time he decided to show his true colors?
No. Ignoring the grip of sorrow in my chest, I sat down on the edge of the lumpy bed to regroup and make a plan. I still had my passport, real or not, and enough cash that I could get far away, but then what? If Rurik was truly a powerful crime boss, would I ever be able to get far enough?
Putting my head in my hands, I forced myself back from the edge of a breakdown.
Incredibly, I still yearned to be at home instead of that dank, depressing room.
It had nothing to do with the bleak surroundings, though the freaking sad clown painting that had to be at least fifty years old wasn’t helping.
I missed feeling safe. By the time I moved in with Rurik—or was moved in, since I barely had any say in the matter, being forced into homelessness by him—I barely remembered what it felt like not to brace myself for whatever outburst came next.
Would it just be screamed insults flung at me, or would fists fly? Everything used to make me flinch.
Well, the safety was an illusion, and Rurik’s lavish mansion wasn’t really my home. It was all for show. All to gain more money to add to his already vast wealth.
Or was it? What if he truly, honestly, deeply wanted to marry me all along, and orchestrated the grandest scenario possible to make it happen? I laughed bitterly into my hands, the mattress creaking when I shifted, bringing me back to reality.
Was I so off the rails that I actually started to think what Rurik did was slightly romantic? More like psychotic and controlling.
Still, the bottom line was that I felt safe with Rurik, whether it was an illusion or not, and now that was gone.
I couldn’t stay here for long. Maybe even spending the entire night was a bad idea.
I had no clue how much time passed as I sat there, frozen with doubts and assailed by questions I had no answer for.
Eventually, I realized I wasn’t just shaking with fear but hunger. I grabbed a sandwich at lunchtime hours ago, and despite not exactly loving the idea of adding food to my roiling stomach, I had to keep up my strength.
When I stood, I swayed on my feet. The bed was awful, but it called out to me after only sleeping on the plane a little bit before putting in all that overtime at the office. Waiting for my husband to get back from whatever he was up to with all those guns.
“Just don’t think about it,” I mumbled as I slipped out of my room and glanced nervously up and down the hall.
The carpet was dark red and mustard swirls, and it made me dizzy, so I focused on the vending machines at the end of the hall, seemingly miles away. Every door I passed, I expected someone to jump out at me, and I was on the verge of hysterical laughter by the time I reached the snacks.
After getting a bag of chips, a candy bar, and a bottle of water, I sighed with relief, once again second-guessing everything. For God’s sake, Rurik was probably at home, worried sick about me, not sending some elite team out to hunt me down.
I was so focused on Rurik finding me that I had to blink twice when I turned away from the machine with my food. Funny how I forgot so easily, but it all came rushing back as Jordie loomed in front of me. This wasn’t a nightmare; I hadn’t fallen asleep in the room.
Before I could scream, he slapped his hand over my mouth and dragged me back down the hall. I kicked out at the doors as they sped past, his fingers digging into my scalp as he gripped a handful of my hair. Where were all those people I thought were going to jump out at me now that I needed them?
He slammed my face into my door and wrested the old-fashioned key out of my hand, slamming it into the lock. I managed to bite him and let out a yelp when he jerked his hand from my mouth, but by then, he had the door open and shoved me inside.
Losing my balance, I careened forward and landed on the floor. A heavy foot came down on my back as the door slammed and locked behind me. I was caught, trapped. No going home now.