Chapter 7 - Maya
I blinked my eyes open to the sight of a stark white ceiling. For a second, I thought I was dead, and this was heaven.
Coming to, I felt weak, but slowly, I moved my head to the side to see the white walls. Was this a mental facility? What had brought me here anyway?
My vision, somewhat blurry with my foggy mind, failed to get a grasp on reality. I recalled his dark look, Jenna’s voice. My sight became clearer.
Apprehension thrummed in my veins as I turned my head to see Jenna, her brows furrowed with worry.
Her hand clutched mine as she searched my eyes. “You’re okay,” she whispered.
“What happened?” I croaked, my throat dry.
Jenna squeezed tighter, her expression unreadable.
“You fainted,” Jenna told me. Her green eyes were swollen and red, as though she’d been crying, but she only shook her head. “No sign of a concussion.”
I closed my eyes, trying to recall what had occurred.
“We were on our way to Anna’s place when you suddenly slumped,” Jenna said, “just like that. For a second, I thought you were dead. I checked your pulse, and you were breathing. So we took you to the hospital.”
Flippantly, I blamed my lack of sleep, but Jenna gave me a serious look, her anxiety palpable. “It’s more than that, Maya.”
I couldn’t even believe she would suggest that; I felt fine. Surely, I wasn’t the first person to ever faint and feel fine later. Not everyone who fainted ended up on a bed in a hospital; a bit of cool water on my face and I’m sure I would have come to.
“I’m glad you’re okay now, Maya,” Jenna whispered, “but we need answers. We’ll figure this out, I know it, but you have to take this seriously. I know what I saw.”
“Yeah, yeah, yeah.” I waved my hand dismissively, attempting to ease her worries. “I’ll make sure to sleep better next time.”
Just then, the door creaked open and a doctor walked in. A white coat hung off her slender shoulders, and she clutched a clipboard in her hand. The glasses perched on the bridge of her nose made her eyes appear enormous. She had a kind smile, but it didn’t quite reach her eyes. There was something about her expression that said everything was fine yet, at the same time, everything was not, and that made my stomach tighten.
She exchanged a brief look with Jenna before shifting her attention to me. Her cerulean eyes pierced through me, studying me.
“You must be Maya,” she began.
“Yes.” I swallowed.
“I’m Doctor Helen. I have news for you. You’re preg—”
Her lips moved slowly, but I didn’t hear her words. Or at least, I pretended not to hear what she had just said.
There was no way. No.
Suddenly, the world felt like it was spinning. I felt gaps in my memory threatening to pull me under. But one word, a single word from her lips, penetrated through my mental fog strongly and repeatedly: Pregnant. Pregnant. Pregnant.
I blinked, perhaps too rapidly. The words swarmed before my eyes, as if I was trying to read them under a pool of water.
I felt as though the air had been sucked out of the room, and I was gasping for air like a fish out of water; the room closed in on me.
Gasping, I shook my head. “No. It’s not possible. No.”
The room started to spin, but a strong arm grasped my shoulders, steadying me.
“Maya,” Jenna said firmly. “Don’t think about that. Just take a deep breath. I’m right here.”
I took a deep breath and tried to calm myself. Dragging my eyes towards Jenna, I met her gaze, hoping to convey how grateful I was that she was here with me. However, her expression was more concerned than reassuring.
She spoke softly. “Now try taking another breath.”
The doctor moved to attend to me, pressing a stethoscope against my chest. “Are you feeling nauseous?”
“Not really,” I said. I wasn’t even sure how that was relevant.
She frowned briefly. “Okay then, just relax for a few moments.”
The doctor placed her stethoscope back around her neck.
And then there it was again. The word.
Pregnant.
I closed my eyes tightly, willing the world to stop spinning. When I opened them, Jenna stood by my bedside watching. She looked down to study my face, frowning. Every bit of her stood still as she no doubt tried to process the situation.
I was carrying Dominik’s baby.
The reality of it sank in me like a deadweight. I stared at the white walls, the blinking monitors, the worry etched on Jenna’s face. I was trying to see the world through new eyes, because I didn’t trust my own senses. Someone had to be playing a prank. At least, that’s what I waited for, what I hoped. Someone must have slipped something into my food. Maybe it was some sort of drug to sedate me. That would explain my confusion.
Or maybe I was just paranoid. That sounded like the most reasonable solution.
There was a long, drawn-out moment of silence.
The doctor, ever so patient, offered a sympathetic glance before leaving the room. She left Jenna and I alone with this newfound revelation.
My mind was a whirlpool of conflicted emotions. There was nothing to be said, no justification to offer. Nothing to put forward. I was pregnant, and the knowledge of that, of life blooming inside me, was both terrifying and exhilarating.
How could I have let that happen?
I could feel the tears prickling behind my eyes as another wave of dizziness rushed over me. A hand reached to cradle the back of my neck as I collapsed against the hospital bed.
My heart beat wildly as a lump formed in my throat. I was scared. Terrified beyond belief. Conflicting emotions flooded through my system, threatening to burst forth. I knew what it was, and yet my brain refused to acknowledge it. Refused to admit the truth. This whole thing was too surreal. Too unbelievable for it to be real. This couldn’t be real.
This isn’t happening.
I wanted to run away. Hide somewhere far away, where no one could find me. That wasn’t an option, though, and I felt trapped inside myself as panic settled into every corner of my body.
In all the years of my existence, I’d never had a chance to form a strong romantic relationship, never found an opportunity to fall deeply in love. There were always people around me, always something keeping me occupied or protecting me, never someone who was truly able to understand me or my dreams and aspirations.
This wasn’t fair! This couldn’t be happening. I hadn’t done anything wrong.
Jenna finally broke away from my stare, leaning down and resting her arms on my thighs, then buried her face into my abdomen. She sobbed quietly, her body convulsing. I reached out and wrapped my arms around her shoulders, giving her comfort and reassurance.
As she cried, I found myself staring into space, trying to comprehend what had just transpired.
This is just some sort of sick joke…right?
It had to be, but I could feel my heart shattering further into pieces.
I wondered what would become of me. What would I do? What could I possibly do to make this all go away? How would I survive?
I needed help. I needed my mother.
Jenna lifted her head and rubbed her eyes with the back of her hand. Looking up at me through bleary eyes, she smiled slightly.
“It’s going to be okay,” she whispered, squeezing my thigh reassuringly. “You’re going to be just fine.”
All my fears, doubts, and concerns faded into oblivion as a wave of relief washed over me. I was not alone.
Suddenly, another thought floated up: I had used the morning-after pill. How, then, was this possible? Was there some kind of drug that could cause pregnancy? What would I have done if there was? What was happening?
Questions raced through my mind in a million directions. They bounced off each other with sharp and sudden ferocity, demanding answers.