9. Lila
Lila
I wake up early, like my body has decided I’m caught up on sleep and it’s time to move.
I’ve never been one to sleep in. Every job I’ve had required me to be up really early. I grew up taking care of animals. I was working before I was thirteen. I had to if I wanted to eat. Mama did some waitressing and babysitting, but the jobs never stuck.
I dress quietly and let myself out through the kitchen door.
Nobody stops me. I have the run of the property, and I haven’t stopped thinking about the horses since Maksim showed me yesterday.
The stable manager's name is Gus. He's maybe sixty and looks like someone who has spent a lot of time in the sun.
I step into the stable, breathing in the familiar scent of hay and horse. It’s the first time since everything happened that I feel like I can breathe. This is my element. This is where I belong.
Gus looks up from mucking out a stall and nods a greeting. “Morning.”
“Morning.” I move closer. “Mind if I look around?”
“Maksim said you could go wherever you want.” He leans the pitchfork against the wall. “You know horses?”
“Grew up around them. Worked on a ranch in Texas.”
His weathered face breaks into a smile. “Then you’ll appreciate these beauties. Come on. I’ll introduce you.”
He leads me down the aisle. The first stall holds a stunning chestnut mare. She’s tall and lean, all muscle and power. Her coat gleams. She turns her head to watch us approach. I see the intelligence in her dark eyes.
“This is Outlaw,” Gus says.
“She’s gorgeous.” I reach out slowly, letting her sniff my hand. She does, then tosses her head like she’s decided I’m not worth her time.
I laugh. “Spirited.”
“That’s one word for it.” Gus crosses his arms. “She was supposed to be a champion racehorse. Thoroughbred, perfect bloodlines, the whole package. But she refused to race. Threw every rider they put on her. Three times during training and twice at the track. They were going to put her down.”
My hand freezes. “What?”
“Yep. Said she was too dangerous. Hay burner. A waste of money and space.” He shakes his head. “Maksim heard about it through some contact and bought her. Paid more than she was worth just to save her.”
I stare at the mare. She stares back with zero shame. She didn’t want to race, so she didn’t. And they were going to kill her for it. I respect her.
“She’s not dangerous,” I say quietly. “She just knew what she didn’t want to do.”
“That’s what Maksim said.” Gus moves to the next stall. “This one’s Midnight.”
The black Friesian is bigger than Outlaw and beautiful in a different way. This is the kind of horse collectors enjoy.
“He’s stunning.” I reach out to stroke his neck. He lowers his head so I can scratch behind his ears.
“He was a gift,” Gus says.
“A gift?” I glance at him. “From who?”
“Some woman.” He shrugs. “Figured since Maksim had stables and two other horses, he must ride. Showed up with a trailer and a bow on the halter.”
I don’t like that even though I have no reason to have an opinion. A man like Maksim probably has women throwing themselves at him constantly. Why wouldn’t one of them give him a horse?
“Does he ride?” I keep my voice casual.
“Nope.” Gus chuckles. “Told her thank you, put the horse in the stable, and that was that. I ride him sometimes to keep him exercised. He’s a good boy.”
“And this one,” Gus says, moving to the last stall, “is Willow.”
The pregnant mare is a soft, dappled gray. Her belly is swollen with the foal she’s carrying. She looks at me with gentle eyes, and I fall in love immediately.
“Oh,” I breathe, moving closer. “When is she due?”
“Another three weeks or so.” Gus reaches over to pat her neck. “She’s another rescue. Got knocked up by some random horse, not a champion or anything valuable. The owners didn’t want her or the foal. Were going to send them both to slaughter.”
“What!” The word explodes from my mouth. “What is wrong with people?”
“Maksim asked the same thing when he heard about it. Bought her the next day.”
I run my hand along Willow’s side, feeling the foal move inside. Three horses. Three castoffs. Three animals that the world decided weren’t worth keeping alive, and he saved them all.
“He makes sure they’re fed and cared for. Pays me good money to look after them.” Gus leans against the stall door. “He’s a good man, even if he doesn’t want anyone to know it.”
I lean my forehead against Willow's side and say nothing. The foal shifts gently beneath my palm.
“You know how to ride?” Gus asks.
“I do.”
“Outlaw could use some work. She needs to be exercised, but she won’t let me on her. Too stubborn.” He grins. “You’re welcome to try if you want. I’d love to see someone get that mare to cooperate.”
I look at Outlaw. She’s watching me with her ears forward, like she’s daring me to try.
“I’ll get to know her first,” I tell him. “If she’s not interested, I won’t pressure her.”
“Fair enough.” Gus picks up his pitchfork. “You’re welcome here anytime. These horses could use the company.”
I spend another hour in the stable, just being near them.
Willow lets me brush her, standing patiently while I work the tangles from her mane.
Midnight follows me around his stall like a puppy, nudging my pockets in search of treats I don’t have.
Outlaw continues to be aloof, but I catch her watching me when she thinks I’m not looking.
She’s curious. That’s a start.
By the time I head back to the house, my stomach is reminding me that I skipped breakfast. For the first time since everything happened, I feel almost normal.
That feeling evaporates the moment I step through the kitchen door and hear shouting.
“Where the fuck is the doctor!?” Maksim’s voice is filled with anger. I hear the violence in that tone.
My heart kicks up. My survival instincts are telling me this is dangerous. He’s just like so many of the other men Mama brought home.
I move through the kitchen on instinct, following the sound of chaos. I walk toward the living room even though every instinct I have is screaming at me to run the other way.
The scene I walk into makes my stomach drop.
Maksim is in the center of the room, covered in blood. It’s all over his shirt, smeared across his forearms, and splattered on his face. His hair is disheveled, and his eyes are wild with panic and rage.
On the couch is a woman.
I can’t process what I’m seeing at first. She’s so still. Her face is a mess of purple and red, swollen beyond recognition. One of her arms hangs at an unnatural angle. What’s left of her dress is torn and stained dark with blood.
“Get me some fucking towels!” Maksim barks at one of the guards.
People rush in from all directions. Guards. Staff. I stand frozen in the doorway, trying to understand.
The woman on the couch makes a weak, wet gurgling sound that makes my skin crawl.
Mama.
For one terrible second, the room tilts, and I'm back in the trailer. Blood on linoleum. Her pink shirt. The same metallic smell that I will never forget. I slap my hand over my mouth to keep from puking.
“You’re okay. You’re okay.” Maksim’s voice drops, becoming almost gentle as he presses towels to her side. “You’re not alone. Stay with me.”
The door bursts open, and Cinder strides in. Unlike everyone else, she’s calm. Her eyes sweep the scene with the expression of someone who has seen this too many times.
“Get her to the med room.” Her voice cuts through the chaos. “Now.”
Maksim slides his arms under the woman, lifting her with a gentleness that contradicts the violence written all over her body. She whimpers.
“I know, baby. I know it hurts. But I’ve got you. You’re safe now. I’m here.” His voice is soft and soothing as he cradles her against his chest. “You’ll be okay. I promise.”
He carries her past me without even seeing me standing there. I catch a glimpse of her face as he passes. She’s young. Maybe my age. One eye is swollen shut, and the other is barely open.
I press myself against the wall, trying to make myself invisible as the procession moves past me toward the med room. Cinder. Damien. Two guards. All of them ignoring me.
The living room empties, leaving me alone with the blood-soaked couch and the metallic smell. The same smell from that day.
My mind is racing, trying to piece everything together. Maksim. Covered in blood. The woman. Beaten. Broken.
Did he do this?
I stumble backward, reaching for the wall to steady myself. That’s when I realize I’m shaking. Violently.
I’ve been telling myself he’s different. He saved me. But what if I’ve been wrong? What if this is who he really is?
I need to leave. Right now. I need to get out of this house before I end up like her.
But my legs won’t move. I’m rooted to the spot, staring at the blood on the couch. I replay it all and look at it without filtering it through my experiences. There had been a gentleness in his voice. He looked terrified.
Would someone who did that to her sound like that? Look like that?
I don’t know anything anymore.
Footsteps in the hallway make me jump. One of the guards walks past, carrying medical supplies. He doesn’t even glance at me.
What have I gotten myself into? What kind of world is this?
The stables. The kindness. The protection. It all feels like a trap now. A cage I walked into willingly because I was desperate. I’ve traded one monster for another.