19. Lila
Lila
I watch as Outlaw trots in a perfect circle around me.
Her muscles ripple under her coat, powerful and controlled.
She’s finally starting to trust me. The horse is like the Ferrari of horses.
I want to ride her. I want to be the one who shows her she can trust a rider to treat her with respect.
I dream about feeling all her power under me as she runs.
The property doesn’t have that kind of trail system, but I’m driven just to prove I can do it.
I want to do the thing no one else has been able to. I want to prove I have value.
After weeks of patient work, she lets me guide her without fighting every step of the way. She lets me know she doesn’t like it, but we have an understanding.
I will ride her.
She’s lucky that my shoulder is still healing, or I might have tried. It’s been a week, and my road rash is pink and healing. My shoulder aches, but it’s not my first time dealing with this kind of injury.
I haven’t left the compound since the day of the shooting.
It pisses me off that they scared me enough to keep me behind the tall fence.
I want to be rebellious and pretend it didn’t scare me, but it did.
My life flashed before my eyes. The threat of my death has kept me behind the walls. I don’t want to die.
I push the thought away and focus on the horse instead. I’m alive. George isn’t. I didn’t go to his funeral. I didn’t want to be a reminder of why his family had to bury him. Pavel’s still recovering from surgery. Mike’s back on duty, but I see him wince when he pulls at the stitches in his side.
All because of me.
“Good girl,” I murmur to Outlaw. She flicks an ear back, listening. “That’s it. Easy.”
I think about Maksim bursting into my room that day. The look on his face was like someone had ripped out his heart. I replay that moment over and over again, trying to understand it.
He looked terrified for me.
No one has ever looked at me like that. No one except...
The memory has me sucking in a breath. Mama, tied to that chair, her face beaten beyond recognition. But it was her eyes I remember most. That one good eye staring at me with such desperate fear. Not for herself, for me.
It was the same fear I saw in Maksim’s eyes.
Could he really care about me like that? It seems impossible. I’m just some trailer-trash girl he took pity on. I look around at his estate and the luxury surrounding me. His women are gorgeous, experienced, and sophisticated. What could he possibly want with me?
But that look. God, that look.
I signal Outlaw to slow to a walk, and she immediately obeys. I feel a surge of pride. She and I are getting somewhere.
“You’re doing great,” I tell her. “Maybe tomorrow, I’ll try to mount you. What do you think?”
She snorts, tossing her head. Not quite ready for that, apparently.
I’m about to bring her in when I smell smoke. It’s sharp and wrong.
My head whips around toward the stables. Gray smoke billows from the roof and rises into the blue sky.
“No!” The word tears from my throat. “No, no, no!”
I slap Outlaw’s ass. “Go!”
And then, I’m running.
“Fire!” I scream as I run. “The stables are on fire!”
Guards appear from nowhere, running toward the building. But I’m closer. I reach the stable doors first and yank them open.
Heat blasts my face. Thick, black smoke pours out. Inside, I hear the horses screaming.
“The sprinklers!” I shout to no one. “Why aren’t the sprinklers working?”
I pull my shirt over my nose and mouth and plunge inside. The smoke is so thick that I can barely see. My eyes water instantly, burning like someone poured acid in them. How in the hell did it get this bad so quickly?
“I’m coming!” I call to the horses. “I’m here!”
Midnight’s stall is closest. I fumble with the latch, my hands shaking. The metal is hot. I get it open and slap his hindquarters. “Go! Get out!”
He doesn’t need to be told twice. He bolts past me toward the door.
Someone grabs my arm. “Get out! The building’s not stable!”
I yank free. “I have to get Willow!”
“We’ll get her!”
“Like hell you will!” I push past him toward the next stall.
I can barely breathe, even with my shirt covering my face. My lungs burn with each breath. But I hear Willow screaming in terror, trapped in her stall.
“I’m coming, baby!” My voice sounds strange. The fire is so loud. I never realized how loud the hissing and crackling were. “Hold on!”
I reach her stall. Through the smoke, I see her throwing herself against the walls, her eyes wild with panic. Her belly is huge, and the foal inside her makes her movements awkward.
The latch won’t budge. It’s stuck or melted, or I don’t know what. I pull harder as my injured shoulder screams in protest.
“Come on, come on!”
Someone appears beside me. Mike. His face is covered with his shirt, too. He pushes me aside and kicks the door. On the third kick, it bursts open.
Willow charges out, nearly trampling us both. Mike grabs me, pulling me aside as she thunders past.
“Now you!” he shouts. “Out!”
A beam crashes down in front of me. I jump back in surprise. The ceiling is coming down.
We need to get out. Now.
Mike has a hold of my bad arm, tugging me along. I stumble over something on the ground and nearly fall, but he’s right there.
He throws me over his shoulder like a fireman and runs. I see the open door ahead, daylight, and fresh air. We burst through just as another beam crashes behind us.
Mike doesn’t stop until we’re fifty feet from the building. He sets me down, and I double over, coughing so hard that I think I might vomit. My lungs are on fire. Each breath is agony. I rub my chest as if that will stop the ache.
“Breathe,” Mike orders. “Slow breaths.”
I try, but the coughing won’t stop. I’m going to puke.
“Get the medic!” someone shouts.
I’m vaguely aware of being lowered to the ground. Grass beneath me. Sky above me. Someone places an oxygen mask over my face.
“Breathe,” a woman’s voice says. “Just breathe.”
I focus on pulling air into my lungs. It hurts so much, like I’m pulling razor blades through my throat.
I stare at the stables. Men with fire extinguishers and garden hoses are fighting it.
At least the horses are safe. I count them in the far paddock—Midnight, Willow, and Outlaw. All three alive. All three unharmed.
“We should get her to the hospital,” I hear someone say.
I shake my head. “No. Too dangerous. I’m fine.”
“Are you burned?”
I turn and see Cinder standing over me with her hands on her hips.
Of course, she’s here.
I want to tell her to fuck off, but I’m too tired. I cannot waste my breath on her.
The oxygen mask is doing its job. The spots in my vision fade, and the coughing eases a little. I can think again, sort of.
“The sprinklers,” I rasp. “They didn’t work.”
“We know,” Cinder says. I turn to look at her. She’s sitting on the ground beside me. For once, she doesn’t look hostile. She looks worried. “Someone disabled them.”
“This was deliberate,” I whisper.
“Rest. Don’t try to talk.”
“I’m here!” A female calls out. She’s breathless.
I turn and see Ava running across the grass toward where we’re sitting. “I brought my bag!”
“Come on,” Cinder says. “Let the doctor check you out.”
“Not a doctor yet.” Ava looks at me and shakes her head. “Girl, you are a magnet for pain.”
I pull off the mask. “Trust me, not by choice.”
Mike helps me to my feet. He moves to carry me, but I push him off. “I can walk.”
Cinder snorts, and I consider hitting her. She’s got a problem with me, but every time I turn around, she’s right there to fix me up. She plays the hero, and Maksim thanks her.
Maybe she’s the one who keeps setting me up so she can rescue me and get Maksim’s attention. I glare at her.
“What?” she snaps.
“Nothing. But don’t you think it’s coincidental that I keep getting attacked, and you’re always here to patch me up?”
“You think I like playing nurse?”
“Ladies, not now,” Ava says.
I’m taken to the med room. Again. I’m getting really tired of this room.
They transfer me to the bed, and Ava systematically checks me over. Blood pressure. Pulse. Oxygen levels.
“Lungs sound rough but not critical,” she says. “We’ll keep you on oxygen.”
She shines a light up my nose. “Hey! Rude.”
“Stop! I’m looking for ash. Open your mouth so I can check your throat.”
I do as she says. “A little red, but I don’t see any swelling. If you feel like you can’t swallow, tell me. Don’t wait. It’s not a good sign. We’ll have to get you to the hospital.”
“No hospital,” I croak.
“You might not have a choice,” she says. “Smoke inhalation can be serious. You inhaled a lot of smoke.”
Cinder hovers near the door. I’ve seen Mike and a few other guards, but not Maksim. I have no idea where he is. He’s been gone a lot the past few days. I’ve heard snippets of conversations and know he’s been exacting revenge on the Albanians.
“He’s coming.” Ava reads my mind. “He was at one of the clubs. Damien called him. He’s probably driving like a maniac to get here.”
I close my eyes. The exhaustion is overwhelming. My lungs burn. My ribs throb with each breath.
But the horses are safe. That’s what matters.
“Why would someone do this?” I whisper. “The horses didn’t do anything.”
Cinder and Ava exchange a look.
"They're showing Maksim that they can walk onto his property, past his guards, and get to you anyway," Cinder says after a moment. "That's the point."
As if killing people wasn’t bad enough. Now they’re going for horses. That’s where I draw the line.
Rage cuts through exhaustion. “Assholes.”
“Agreed.” Ava slides the mask back over my face.
I close my eyes and inhale the clean air. I’m toxic. No one is safe around me. It’s only a matter of time before they kill Maksim. And then I will be completely, utterly alone.
There will be no one left to save me.