Chapter 16 - Jaroslav #2
“You did.” She narrows her gaze at me, and for a moment, I think she’s picking a fight, but she isn’t. She’s smiling.
Shaking my head, I take a sip of my wine, and beneath the table, our legs brush together.
She’s wearing a beautiful back dress. It flows in soft, light fabric. The perfect choice for a warm summer night.
“What are your brothers like? Why didn’t they let you work in the family business? It was clearly a mistake on their part.”
She shrugs. “They were just keeping me safe. I’m not angry at them for it. I made my mind up and did what I wanted to anyway.”
Laughter rumbles from me. “That you did. I have a feeling you always do what you want.”
She rolls her eyes and tilts her head to the side.
A wave of raven black hair falls over her shoulder as she does so.
“I do not always do what I want. Otherwise, how would I have ended up married to you?” She winks, and again, relief washes through me.
She’s joking about things we used to fight about.
“I’m sorry, little raven. I truly am. About how it happened. I have so many regrets about the past.” My voice is tight around my words. “What was it like for you? After we broke up? It was absolute hell for me.”
She eyes me for a long moment, her gaze soft and tender. Her grey eyes pale in the candlelight.
“It was hell for me, too. I had no one to talk to, no one to help me get through the breakup, because we were dating in secret. It was… horrible . But… I picked myself up. I forced myself to focus on other things. Actually, one of the things I did to distract myself was to learn to play the piano,” she grins.
“The piano? Are you serious? I’d love to hear you play.”
She shakes her head. “Oh, no, I’m really bad at it. My poor brothers had to listen to me practicing for hours. I get so focused on things that I get lost in them.”
I think about her working the case with my brothers and nod. “Yes, you do tend to hyper focus.”
“Well, the terrible piano playing got me through a lot of heartache, and even though I’m bad at it, whenever I sit down to play it makes me feel lighter, like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders.”
“I still want to hear you play. It can’t be that bad.”
She giggles, her cheeks rosy from the wine and her body relaxed and at ease. “Oh, it’s bad. And better yet, if you like, I can sing for you too.”
I pack up, laughing at the cheeky expression on her face. Without thinking, I reach across the table and take her hand, threading her fingers through mine and brushing my thumb over the soft skin of her hand. Neither of us speaks, and for a while, everything is perfect.
My heart is full of hope, even though I have a constant warning at the base of my skull repeating over and over again that she wants to keep things casual.
My phone chimes, and it pulls me from my thoughts. Checking the message, I nod in approval.
“What is it?” she asks.
“It’s a message from Zakhar to say he spoke to the forensic guy. They found a few strands of hair at the scene. That’s some good news for the investigation.”
“That is good news,” she nods thoughtfully. But I don’t want her thinking about the investigation now. I want her to take a break.
“No more business talk,” I say, tucking my phone away. “We can focus on all that again tomorrow.”
But apparently, she isn’t thinking about business right now, and she blurts out a question that has clearly been playing on her mind since we brought it up.
“What did you do after the breakup?” she asks, her eyes piercing into me.
I scoff. “Drank. Drank some more. Went through several terrible moody phases all in one day… every day. Pissed off everyone around me because I was such a grumpy dickhead.”
She bites back a smile. “So, pretty much the same as now then?”
“Excuse me?” I blurt out, and we both burst out laughing again.
When the laughter bubbles down, she asks, “Do your brothers know?”
“About what?”
“About our past.”
I shake my head. “No one in my family knows anything about us.”
“Mine either. I feel bad for keeping it a secret, but I can’t see any good coming of them finding out. Some secrets are better left dead and buried.”
She pulls her hand out of my grasp to pick up her wine glass.
She’s still smiling softly as she takes a sip. There is a scowl on my face, confusion rippling over my body. What does she mean by that?
Is she saying that the secret of our past should remain secret? Dead and buried. Or is she saying our entire relationship and any future potential is dead and buried? I open my mouth to ask, but then close it again.
She’s wrong.
She’s more wrong than she’s ever been about anything.
“I think it’s better to bear the burden of the secret to keep them safe from it anyway. I would honestly do anything to keep my family safe.” She sets her wine glass down, and her eyes meet mine again. “I know you would too.”
“I would.” I nod, clenching my jaw. “I would do anything for them.” And I would do anything for you, little raven.
I want so much more from this. From us. So much more is possible. Something beautiful, too beautiful to describe. I want all of her, and I want her to have all of me. But how do I push for that without ruining what we have now? Is this enough?
No.
Never.
I can’t stop until I have her heart and soul as mine.
The waiter arrives, checking in on us. “Can I bring you another bottle of wine?” he asks.
“Definitely,” Valery answers quickly, smiling mischievously. “It’s still early, and we’re here to relax, aren’t we?”
“That we are,” I grin.