Chapter 24 - Angelika
He looks so serious, it’s amping up my anxiety to levels I’ve never felt before.
I’m already pumped full of adrenaline after facing Bardil, and after all the adrenaline from last night has barely had a chance to leave my system—and now he’s sitting there with wide eyes and stiff shoulders, watching me like I might make a run for the door, and he’s unsure how to handle that.
I swallow hard and try to smile, wondering if I need to comfort him somehow. I’ve never seen him so nervous.
“Diomid?” I ask after the moment of silence seems to stretch on way too long.
He chuckles, pushing his hand through his hair like he does when he’s nervous. Not the same way he does when he’s thinking or busy.
“Sorry, I’ve never done this before,” he smiles.
When he looks up at me this time, his grey-blue eyes are soft, like summer clouds in blue skies. Open. Like he’s broken down a wall inside him and he’s about to invite me in on some big secret.
“It’s ok, whatever you want to say, I can handle it. I mean—we’ve been through a lot together,” I smile.
The truth is, I’ve already accepted the worst. I image that he wants to try and explain to me why he doesn’t want to see me again, but he’s scared to hurt my feelings or something.
But that’s why I left while he was sleeping—to try to avoid this exact awkwardness.
But maybe he needs to say it. Maybe he needs that closure.
And maybe I do too.
“Princess, remember a few nights ago at the bar, before we were interrupted, we spoke, very briefly, about the marriage thing?”
“Yes,” I nod slowly, trying to be patient instead of interrupting him and blurting out how it’s all fine, and we don’t have to talk about it, and I’ll just leave, and it’s all ok, and there aren’t any heart feelings.
Breathe, Angelika. Let him talk. He needs to talk.
Diomid clears his throat and lifts his chin higher. “We never spoke about it again, but I’ve been thinking about it constantly. I think about you constantly. When I lie in bed at night, the first thing when I wake up in the morning. You’re always on my mind.”
My heart flickers, confused. This isn’t how I expected the conversation to start.
He smiles and takes a slow breath. “Angelika, when your brother suggested we get married, I was literally over the moon with excitement. I thought, fuck, imagine that Jaroslav is trying to punish me, but he doesn’t realize he’s giving me exactly what I want…
” he chuckles. “Is this coming out right?” he mutters to himself.
I shift a little closer to him, fidgeting, scared to jump to conclusions, but this is the opposite of what I expected to hear.
“What are you saying, Diomid?” I ask, getting agitated and impatient.
“Sorry, like I said, I’ve never done this before. Maybe if I start at the beginning, it will make more sense.”
“Ok, start at the beginning…” I huff, knotting my brows.
He ignores my snappy response and carries on.
“I’ve wanted you since the night we met.
I pretended it was meaningless, because I didn’t understand what I was feeling.
But I volunteered to look for you when you were kidnapped because I wanted to be the one to save you—and I wanted to see you again…
and I wanted to protect you.” He shifts, rubbing his hands over his legs.
“Then, when I had you in the safe house, I could have let you go home that same day. I didn’t have a real reason to keep you with me, but I made one up and convinced your brother it was better for you to stay with me, safer.
And in Barbados… I never wanted that escape to end.
Every time I have to walk away from you, it feels like a piece of me is being ripped out of my chest. I fucking love you, Angelika. ”
He looks up at me, the last few words blurted out of his mouth, and he looks stunned that he said it with such force.
“Sorry,” he murmurs, smiling, shaking his head again.
“I’m so bad at this.” He starts laughing, and while he squirms in discomfort, I realize I’m just staring at him, trying to process what he’s said.
“You made excuses to keep me around?” I say, summarizing. “You made excuses to spend more time with me because… because you love me?” When I say it, I sound skeptical. In disbelief.
He closes his eyes and moves closer to me, taking my hand and tracing his thumb over the back of my hand.
His smile widens. “It’s crazy. It’s stupid.
Maybe it’s meant to be, maybe it’s not. But I could never live with myself if I didn’t tell you this.
With all my heart, with all my soul, with every piece of me—I love you, Angelika. And I want to spend my life with you.”
Suddenly, his words sink in and become real. I’m not dreaming. I’m not fantasizing about impossible things like I’ve done so many nights since I met him.
“You love me,” I giggle, sounding like a little girl, my cheeks turning pink, my throat catching tight around my words.
“Yes, and… I want to marry you.”
I swallow hard. “Diomid, I left here today because I didn’t want to get hurt…”
“I’ll never hurt you!” he interrupts, horrified I’d think that of him.
“Stop talking and just listen,” I laugh, squeezing his hand.
He nods, pressing his lips together.
“This morning, I mean, a while ago already, but this morning it really hit me—how I feel about you, and I didn’t know I had a choice.
I thought we just couldn’t be together. So I left because it was easier than facing you turning me down or having to say an awkward goodbye to the man I am so madly, utterly, recklessly in love with. ”
“Recklessly?” he laughs, his eyes glowing.
I nod. “Dangerously,” I add, grinning.
“Uncontrollably?” he reaches out and lifts me onto his lap, grabbing my hips and dragging me close with my legs straddling him.
“Wildly,” I say as he wraps his hand behind my head and pulls my lips onto his.
His kiss is more intense than I’ve ever felt, and I realize it’s because this time, I’m not afraid to actually feel it. To let the emotions surge instead of just the pleasure. I’m not holding back. I’m not trying to protect my heart.
Diomid groans and wraps his hands around my hips, grabbing at me with desperation, the kiss deepening, our bodies spiking with need.
His cock grows hard between my legs, and he pushes his tongue into my mouth as he tugs my t-shirt over my head.
***
Lying in the afterglow of our lovemaking, naked on his sofa, I can’t stop smiling. I’m on my stomach, lying half across his chest, looking up at him. Wondering how I got so lucky.
“You never answered me, princess,” he says, tracing his fingers down my back, playing with my hair.
“When?” I ask, tilting my head to the side, trying to remember a question.
“Will you marry me?” he whispers, placing his finger beneath my chin and tilting my face up so he can see my reaction.
The smile that breaks out over my cheeks is wider and glowing. My eyes spark with excitement, and my heart beats harder against his chest.
“Yes!” I nod, wiggling further onto his chest so I can reach his lips.
“Yes?” he asks, smiling as I press my mouth over his.
“Yes, a thousand times yes,” I say against his mouth as I kiss him.
***
It’s late in the day when I pick up my phone to call my brother.
He snaps immediately into the phone when he answers. “It’s a damn long shopping trip, Angelika, and tell me, exactly which guard did you take with you?”
“Hi Jaro,” I sigh.
“Don’t ‘hi’ me, tell me where the hell you are.”
“I’m with Diomid.”
The silence on the other side of the line is electric. Sharp and weighted.
“Diomid,” he scoffs after a moment.
“We are getting married,” I say, deciding not to beat around the bush of delaying the call for longer than I need to.
“Angelika, you need to come home right n…”
“Jaroslav, I’ve made up my mind. I didn’t call to ask for your permission. Besides, you’re the one who came up with this idea; you should be happy for us. And it will strengthen the alliance, and I am happier than I’ve ever been in my life, and you know for a fact that Diomid can keep me safe.”
Diomid grins, listening in on the conversation and apparently loving how it’s going.
“Angelika, it’s just that… I mean…” My brother sounds unsure of himself.
“Jaro, I love you guys so much, but this is my life. Diomid and I want your blessing on this. We want you to be happy for us, but it’s not a deal breaker for us if you’re not ready to accept our relationship. I’m sure you’ll come around in time.”
“Dammit, Angelika, you’re so hard-headed,” Jaroslav huffs.
“Oh, really? And who in the world do you think I learned that from?”
He chuckles, and the sound of his laughter makes me breathe a sigh of relief.
“I suppose I am to blame. And… I’m happy for you. If this is what you want. But you tell him… Diomid, are you listening? You’d better be listening. If you hurt my sister, I will burn your home to the ground. I will destroy you, I will…”
“Ok, ok, that’s about enough of that,” I blurt out, forcing him to stop.
Diomid leans close to the phone. “Jaroslav, she will be the most protected, spoiled, happy wife on the planet, and if she ever feels I’m not giving her everything she desires, or I’m making her sad—then I give you full permission to burn my home to the ground and destroy me and all those things. ” He winks at me.
“I don’t. I don’t give you permission to do any of that,” I snap.
“This is between Diomid and me, Angelika. Stay out of it,” Jaroslav laughs.
My brother takes a deep breath. “So I imagine you’re not coming home then? Officially moving out?”
I look nervously toward Diomid. This is really happening. My heart floods with butterflies. “Officially moving out,” I agree.
“I’m turning your room into a gym, so don’t think you can come back again. This is it. You’re no longer my responsibility,” he lectures me, but there is mischief and playfulness in his voice.
“We want to have the wedding in your garden. Is that ok?” Diomid asks.
“Of course it is, man. My home is your home.”