Chapter 23 - Marlen
My brother’s betrayal has shattered my view of him. I desperately want to believe he is a good person who made a stupid mistake, but I’m too angry to think straight.
How could he do this to us? How could he keep lying about it for so long afterward?
I’m standing in the kitchen, staring into the fridge. I’ve been looking for the milk for a few minutes now, even though it’s right in front of me.
Sighing in annoyance, I grab it and pull it out, carrying it over to the coffee machine. I’m tired and emotional after last night’s confrontation with Bardil.
The only things that bring me comfort at this point are my thoughts about Stefania.
She was being honest with me. All this time, I’ve been pushing her away, but she’s the one who was real.
There is too much guilt in my chest to face her yet. Last night, I knew it wasn’t fair that I closed her out. I should have spoken to her and told her how sorry I was. But I couldn’t process what happened with my brother and deal with that, too.
Honestly, I was a wreck last night.
This morning I’m feeling slightly better. My thoughts are clearer, more focused. But the shock is still there.
At least I know the truth now. And knowing the truth means I can finally figure out a way to fix all of this, even though that seems like an impossible task.
“Marlen?” His voice pulls me from my thoughts, and I set the coffee cup down on the counter next to the machine, turning to look at her.
“Stef,” I say quietly. “Do you, um, want a coffee? I’m busy making one.”
Her eyes drift over me. She looks cautious of me. She has every right to me.
“Yes, thank you,” she says, tilting her head to the side. “Are you ok?” she asks quietly.
I nod. “I will be. Are you… ok?” Asking her if she’s ok feels pathetic compared to what I said to her before. Harsh, hurtful things.
She walks toward me, lifting her arm as though she wants to touch me, but then changes her mind. This small, nervous gesture breaks my heart. I don’t want her to be scared of me.
My walls crumble, and I step forward and pull her into my arms.
“I’m so sorry,” I murmur quietly against her hair, holding her close.
Her body relaxes into me, her arms tighten around my waist.
“I’m sorry too. I can’t imagine what you’re going through,” she says, her words muffled against my chest.
She’s too good for me. Even after everything I’ve done to her, she still has so much compassion for what I’m struggling with.
Pulling her away from me, I look into her eyes. Beautiful, serene strength; that’s what I see in her.
“I was so wrong, Stef,” I say.
“We can make it right, though,” she smiles.
“How?” I ask, my brows furrowed.
“Last night I spoke to Talia. We both agree and have already started to make the arrangements.”
“For what?” I ask tensely.
She takes a deep breath. “You’re going to meet with the Abashins and the Shevchenkos. We think it’s important for everyone to sit down so that you can explain what happened and apologize on behalf of your brother, but make it clear he acted without your knowledge or involvement.”
“Stef…” I mutter. “It’s not that easy.”
“It is, Marlen. And this is your responsibility. You are the leader of this family. You’re the only one who can do this,” she says, determined and forceful.
She’s right.
As much as I don’t want to face the two families I’ve been blaming, it is my responsibility as the Bratva leader.
“Ok,” I sigh. “Let’s set it up for today if we can. I’d rather face this now than draw it out.”
She smiles, reaching up to wrap her arms around my neck, and she pulls me down to kiss me.
It’s not a deep kiss. It’s not intense or passionate. But it means the world to me. She’s showing me that she’s still on my side, that she doesn’t hate me for what I said to her.
I pull her closer and place my finger under her chin. “You’re really something special, Stef. I hope you know that.”
***
Talia is waiting for us as we step off the elevator on the top floor of Jaroslav’s building.
“They’re all waiting in the boardroom,” she says, then pulls Stef into a hug. “I’m so happy to see you,” she whispers, then steps back and gestures for us to follow.
I take a deep breathe, nodding to Stef. She smiles tightly. “It’s going to go well,” she whispers.
I wish I believed that.
I have to believe that.
Talia walks into the boardroom ahead of us. I hear her saying, “They’re here.”
We step in, and everyone is staring toward the door. At us.
“Hi,” I say tightly. “Thank you for meeting with me.”
“Take a seat,” Jaroslav growls. His eyes are locked onto his sister. “Stefania, it’s good to see you alive and well.”
Stefania ignores his stern glare and walks around the table to hug him.
She leans close and whispers something in his ear. I can guess what she’s saying by the expression on his face. She’s asking him to be open to whatever I have to say. She’s asking him to show mercy of some sort for the man who kidnapped his sister.
My eyes shift to Diomid. His arms are folded across his chest, and he’s watching my every move. Around the table, all of the Abashin brothers are watching me in a similar way. Matvei, Timofey, and Oleg. On the other side are the Shevchenko brothers. Jaroslav, Georgy, Evengil, and Zakhar.
The table is packed.
Talia stands to the side, next to Angelika. Stef quickly goes around the room saying hello to her brothers and finally her sister, who hugs her the tightest. She then returns to my side and takes the seat next to mine.
“Shall we begin?” Jaroslav huffs.
“I’m here to try and explain what happened and let you know that while I understand that I am responsible for my brother’s actions, being the leader of our family, I had no knowledge of what he was doing until recently.”
“Do you think that is a good excuse for your actions?” Jaroslav snarls.
“My actions?” I ask, confused.
“You kidnapped my sister,” he snaps at me.
I sigh, “Yes, I did. But she came to no harm through me, and I’ve come to apologize for…”
“Apologizing doesn’t make things right, Marlen,” Jaroslav interrupts me.
“Jaro, please, let him speak,” Stef says.
“Who’s going to apologize to the women at that auction?” Zakhar says loudly across the table.
“And who’s going to be responsible for making Bardil pay for what he’s done?” Matvei adds.
“Guys, I understand that we’re all angry. I’m angry at my brother, too. More than any of you, believe me. But I’m here to try and settle things, not to start a fight,” I say, holding my hands up, sensing how badly the situation is going already.
Diomid stands up, placing both hands on the table as he leans toward me. “Your brother was happy to host a party where innocent women were getting sold to monstrous men. Sent to their death,” he mutters darkly.
“Diomid, please, that isn’t helping,” Talia huffs.
“The truth isn’t helpful?” he snaps.
“That’s not what I mean, and you know it,” Talia sighs, glancing at Stef with a strained expression. I glance at Stef, too. She’s sitting in silence with her brows knitted together and hands clasped tightly in her lap.
I reach beneath the table and place my hand over hers to ease her anxiety.
She sighs and looks down at our hands, then up at me.
“Who’s going to make Marlen pay for his crimes?” Jaroslav growls, standing up.
“This is getting us nowhere,” Stefania shouts, interrupting everyone. “What is the point of this meeting if nobody is willing to be understanding?”
“How can we be understanding when we’re sitting with an enemy?” Zakhar offers.
“You call me your enemy, but who was it who first kidnapped my sister? And where is his punishment for that crime?” I growl, pissed off at what a massive waste of time this is.
As soon as the words are out of my mouth, I regret them. I didn’t come here to fight. I came here to apologize. But how can I achieve that when they won’t let me?
I look toward Stef again. She looks miserable.
She stands up. “Take me home,” she mutters, flooded with disappointment.
“Are you leaving with him?” Jaroslav blurts out, horrified.
“Yes, Jaro. I’m leaving with him,” she answers calmly.
Stef walks toward the door, and I steal one last glance around the table before following her out.
***
Over the next few days, I watch Stef as she tries to hide her misery from me.
Guilt clings to me like bad taste in my mouth that I can’t get rid of. I let her down. I should have tried harder.
What makes things worse is that she’s trying so hard to hide her disappointment and still be cheerful for my sake.
There is something so delicately sweet about her nature that I’ve never seen in another person before. She’ll set aside her emotions, her hurt, in order to make sure the people she cares for are ok.
One evening at the dinner table, Stef is chatting about Talia, telling me a story from a while ago about when they went on a girls’ day out together. She’s smiling and laughing, but I know her well enough to notice the sullen glimmer in her eyes.
I watch her, animated and gorgeous, and I think about everything we’ve been through together.
The moments that stand out the most to me right now are the times I took out my anger on her. How I was so hellbent on revenge against her brothers for what they’d done, and I was perfectly comfortable with making her suffer for it.
How could I have been so cruel?
And in the end, I was the one in the wrong. I was the one who should’ve been apologizing.
Fuck.
I’m such an idiot.
I don’t deserve her trust or her care. I don’t deserve any small piece of tenderness she’s giving me.
After dinner, while Stef is in the shower, I call Jaroslav.
For her, I will swallow my pride and fix this mess. I need to meet with them again.
***
This time, it’s a smaller meeting. I don’t want it to get out of hand again, so I’ve asked to just sit down with Diomid and Jaroslav.
No one else. It’s hard to be vulnerable and apologetic with a room full of egos like before.
But I’m hoping that my sister’s husband has his own reasons to want to resolve this.
And that Jaroslav will find the patience to hear me out for his sister’s sake.
“Marlen,” Jaroslav says as I walk into his office. Diomid is sitting on the sofa near the window. I greet them both and take a seat opposite Diomid.
“Thanks for agreeing to see me again,” I say, keeping my voice calm and steady.
Jaroslav nods and sits in the single chair, folding his arms across his chest.
Diomid leans back in the chair and crosses one leg over the other. “Let’s get straight to the point, then?” he suggests.
“Sure,” I agree, just as my phone starts ringing.
“Sorry,” I mutter, pulling it from my pocket.
It’s Stef. Her name flashes across my screen.
I hate not answering her call, but she doesn’t know I’m here meeting her brother again.
I’d rather speak to her afterward. I push the ringer to silence the call and slip it back into my pocket.
But she obviously dials me immediately after the first call ends. She’s never done that before. If I’m at work, she knows I’d call her back when I get the chance.
Something’s wrong.
“I have to take this,” I say, standing up and stepping away from Diomid and Jaroslav.
“Stef?” I say, answering the call.
“Marlen, someone’s in the house, someone’s here,” she blurts out.
“Who? What’s going on?” I snap.
“Please, I need you to come home. I need help!” Her voice is a low, frantic whisper that sends a current of fear through me.
“I’m on my way!” I say, but the line goes dead.
I don’t even bother trying to explain to her brother what’s going on; I immediately run for the door. But Diomid is already on his feet and grabs my arm.
“Let me go, Stef is in trouble!” I shout, pulling free of him.
“How?” Jaroslav demands.
“I don’t know. She’s at my mansion. She called to say someone broke in, that’s all I know!”
“Fuck,” Jaroslav growls. “We’ll follow you!”
Thankful that they don’t think I’m making this shit up, I run out of the office, climbing into the elevator with the two of them.
My stomach is churning. I’m so anxious, I want to throw up. My leg taps with frustration as the elevator glides slowly to the ground floor.
“Where did you park?” Diomid asks.
“Out front. Do you know where I stay?”
“Yes, we’ll meet you there. Call your security and tell them not to fucking shoot us,” Jaroslav huffs. He looks stressed, too. Worried for his sister.
“I’m not sure my security is still there… if someone got past them into the house.”
“Just makes sure no one shoots us,” he snaps at me.
As soon as the elevator doors open, I’m running. Every second matters. Every second could be the difference between life and death.
I’ve been so distracted that I forgot to look into who was behind the attack on Stef and me a little while ago. I got so caught up in the issues with her family that I ignored it, and now it might cost her her life.
This stark realization stabs into me like a dagger.
My heart beats full speed as I race through the city toward my mansion, terrified of what I might find when I get there.