Chapter 20 Maxim
MAXIM
My hand lingers on the car door, my attention fixed on Hollie. Snow lightly drifts through the air between us and even the thumping music seems to take a back seat while we stare at one another.
“What did you say?”
“The man you killed.” Hollie lifts her chin. “He was a terrible, terrible person.”
I lock eyes with Stu, who hovers just behind her, then steps back from the door. “Hollie, get in the car.”
“Not until you give me some answers!”
“I will give you answers, just get in the car.”
She rolls her eyes and for a brief moment, I think she won’t. Thankfully, she relents and slides into the car with a soft grunt. I join her while Stu takes the front and Toto hangs back to take the second car with Rex.
Inside, the heater turns on and warmth quickly builds. Hollie sits with her arms crossed and the same challenge in her eyes showing she has no intention of backing down.
“Hollie—”
“Don’t,” she snaps. “Tell me the truth.”
“I… didn’t expect you to find out.”
“How could I not? You left me at the bar and those girls told me everything.”
“I thought they would tell you about the club and the charity work they do, how they own the buildings and decide their rates. I thought they would show you how I let them do things the way they want to.”
Her expression wavers slightly. “I mean… they did. I learned that.”
“So how did you end up talking about that night?”
A sheepish look crosses Hollie’s face and she glances away. “I was pissed off and talking about how you… kidnapped me and forced me into a marriage and that I didn’t care for the nice things they were saying. And then this woman, Nancy, turned up and she started talking.”
“Ah.” My stomach tightens briefly. Had I known Nancy was working, I would have steered clear tonight. She was attached at the hip to Bea and took her death hard.
“Ah? Did you not want me to find out?”
“I didn’t want you involved any more than you already were.”
“But why?” She stares at me with wide eyes. “You… you were killing the monster who hurt those women. Why did you let me think you were just some cold-blooded killer?”
My lips press together. “You wouldn’t have believed me.”
“Yes I would!”
“No, Hollie. You believed what you saw and any justification I gave you wouldn’t have mattered. You were scared, you witnessed a horrible thing, and I had to do what I did in order to keep you safe.”
Hollie slumps back in her seat. “They said you didn’t kill without reason.”
“I don’t. I don’t kill or harm innocents.
The man I killed, his name was Hector, and he was a sick, twisted man trying to hurt this family because he knew all attempts at power would fail.
I don’t regret killing him. But I regret that you saw it because it’s pulled you into a world you never needed to know about. ”
Her expression falls. “You let me say all those horrible things. I spent these past weeks thinking you were this horrible killer, a monster who was going to kill my parents at the drop of a hat.”
“I wouldn’t hurt them.” Honesty might not be the best path right now, but since Hollie knows the truth, I can’t lie to her anymore.
“I threatened them, yes, because you already had a picture of me in your mind and leaning into that to keep you quiet was how I could keep you safe. But I don’t kill innocent people.
Marrying you was the only way to keep you safe.
You’ve seen how bloodthirsty my father is.
Our marriage keeps them protected by extension. ”
“You could have told me the truth,” she whispers.
“Would you have believed me? Would you honestly have shrugged off what you saw and believed he was a monster?”
Our eyes meet and she presses her lips together while shaking her head.
“Exactly. And I had to make sure you weren’t a spy.”
“A spy?” Her brows dart upward and a humorless laugh escapes her. “What do you mean?”
“We met at that club two months before that night. I don’t typically run into the same person twice unless they’re from another family or involved in the same kind of work that I am. So seeing you twice raised all sorts of alarm bells.”
“A spy,” she repeats. “But you still married me?”
I shrug lightly. “Even if you were a spy, marrying you gave me unhindered access to your family and your past, so I was able to rule that out pretty quickly.”
“This doesn’t make sense.” She settles deeper into her seat and gazes out at the passing dark streets. “Everything about you screamed… but then… and I…”
Hollie’s clearly at war with herself, attempting to untangle everything she thought she knew about me.
“I don’t hold it against you.” My hand rests against my thigh and squeezes. “After what you went through with the wedding and my father… I think your reactions are understandable.”
“How do I know you didn’t just pay them all to say those things?” Her eyes snap back to me. She talks like she’s trying to find another way to justify how she feels.
“I can take you to the hospital to see Zoe if you really want me to.”
Her eyes widen, then she shakes her head. “I couldn’t. God…” Hollie repeatedly shakes her head. “I don’t know what to think.”
“Then tell me.”
“I’m annoyed because how I thought things were are not how they actually are. I’m angry because killing people is still wrong, and I watched you kill him, but he was truly a despicable human being, so maybe it’s justified? But who am I to decide that? Maybe real justice is at the hands of the law.”
I bite back my amused scoff. “Maybe.”
“And you let me say those horrible things to you and act like you were a monster when you were helping people and avenging those women, but you also didn’t tell me the truth! You let me believe that so I made a fool of myself not once, but twice in front of those women at the club!”
“You said yourself that you wouldn’t have believed me if I told you the truth.”
“But you still should have told me!”
“Why?” I smile softly. “What difference would it really have made?”
“Were you ever going to tell me?”
“No. I wanted to keep you in the dark as much as possible so you didn’t live in fear.”
“Fear?” She rolls her eyes. “I’m in this world now, which means all the dangerous things here can hurt me regardless of whether I know about them or not. Were you really going to keep me in the dark?”
“Yes. Bringing you to the club was so you could see I do good in my work. Keeping you in the dark was so I could maintain some semblance of the life you lost when we married. And it’s unnecessary pain.”
“Why do you get to make that decision, huh?” Hollie surges forward suddenly, and within the cramped confines of the car, she ends up almost in my lap.
One knee braces on the seat next to me while the other rests over my lap.
She prods her finger into my chest, glaring at me. “You should have told me the truth!”
“What are you really angry at?” I ask softly, relaxing back while she hovers over me.
I keep one arm tense just in case something happens that will hurt her since she abandoned her seatbelt.
“I told you why I didn’t tell you and it’s not good enough.
But it’s the truth, so what are you really pissed at? ”
“You let me think you were this horrible, cold man!”
“And?” My eyes narrow faintly. “Why is that a problem?”
Hollie’s lips part and her words catch in her throat as she stares at me. In the depths of her gorgeous eyes, her struggles reflect back at me. There’s something she can’t bring herself to say, and my interest rises.
“Is it because you liked me?” I tease, taking a stab in the dark. “Was that night in the bar so memorable to you that you can’t comprehend crushing on a cold-blooded killer?”
My teasing words clash with her silence and her cheeks flare a vibrant red, which causes my stomach to flip. I was only joking, choosing something that was surely so ridiculous, it would get a reaction out of her. But she doesn’t argue or throw herself away in disgust.
Instead, she blushes and hesitant noises fall from her lips as she struggles to reach a defense.
My eyes widen and a lazy smirk creeps up. “I’m right, aren’t I?”
“Shut up!” she snaps and tries to push away from me, but I don’t let her.
I wrap one arm around her waist and pull her close, forcing her to overbalance and land fully in my lap. As her hands land on my shoulder in protest, I cradle the side of her face, slide my fingers into her thick, red hair, and drag her down for a kiss.
Hollie’s body remains rigid the moment our lips meet but just as I contemplate letting her go, just when I think I’ve completely misread the situation, she suddenly relaxes into me.
My heart skips a beat.
“You’re wrong,” Hollie mutters against my lips. “You’re so wrong.”
“Then why are you still kissing me?” My grip relaxes and I open my eyes to meet the fire in hers.
She pushes herself away, looking almost disappointed that she can, and then her mouth is over mine once more.
Her lips cling to a fraction of the chill lingering from when we were out in the snow, and there’s a sweetness from whatever gloss she chose to wear today. She’s warm in my lap and her two hands resting against my shoulders suddenly turn to claws as she digs her nails in.
Something deep and warm curls inside me. Both my arms circle her and I pull her close against my chest, uncaring about the reason she’s choosing to kiss me. If it’s anger, frustration, or a distraction, I don’t care. I just want her.
I wanted her back in the bar.
I wanted her the moment I saw her on the couch after Stu knocked her out.
I thought I would never have her.
Even if one more taste is all I’m granted, then that’s what I’ll take and savor.
The car lurches, sending Hollie deeper into my lap, and a soft, surprised moan lifts from her as she places her hand against the side of my neck while my tongue sweeps across her lower lip.
I want more. I want everything she’ll give me, and the hunger is almost overwhelming when all that’s happened is a kiss.
My hands fall to her thighs, stroking from her knee to her hip and then following the curve around to the swell of her ass.
I pull her against me, and she gasps against my lips, then jerks her head away.
Her face is flushed and we pant together. The tension’s so thick that my head swims, and she blinks so slowly that I want to surge up and kiss every lash that brushes her cheek. Before I can move, though, the car slows to a stop.
We’re home.
And I still don’t understand a thing.