Chapter 26 - Paisley
Keeping the kids busy during the few days we had to stick close to the lodge took my mind off the most recent message from Agent Pierce, and I barely had time to look at my phone. When I did have time at night, I ignored it, the same as I ignored the feelings for Dan that I couldn’t seem to fight.
No matter how hard I tried to ignore him, I could instantly tell whenever he was near.
The air around me crackled and my breath hitched in my chest. The only thing that was remotely similar was when I had a monster crush on a fellow snowboarder back when I was in tenth grade.
After that I was so busy with competitions and maintaining my grades that I had no time for boys.
Once I entered the workforce, the men at Axon completely soured me.
Now it looked like I had a crush again, one I had to fight as long as I was employed by his family.
The town got the roads cleared of the blizzard’s aftermath in record time and after only a few days we were able to head down the mountain for a much needed shopping trip.
With only a week to go until Christmas, the kids were eager to pick out a tree to decorate.
The moms had lists as long as their arms, with everything from tinsel to lights and of course, more presents.
There was already a big pile near the stairwell in the entry hall where the tree was going to go, but everyone was bemoaning all the things they forgot to get for each other.
It was sweet how much they all loved each other, whispering secrets about who was getting what.
Was I a bit envious? Maybe. But not because of the gifts.
I was sure I’d find a package from my parents waiting for me at my apartment when I got back, if I ever went back.
It would be something practical and useful but not at all personal or meaningful.
I’d send them an online gift card on Christmas day, and we might have a ten or twenty minute phone call.
It wasn’t always like that. We used to be somewhat like the Fokins, though not as fun loving and raucous.
It was such a blow how easily it all fell apart when I didn’t meet their expectations.
Even though Alina’s father was stern and she jumped at his commands, she also ran laughing into his arms whenever she saw him.
Would he ever cut her off for going against his hopes and dreams for her?
I was supposed to bring an extra car down, solely to transport all the ornaments and gifts that overflowed the three SUVs the others who were part of the shopping trip were piling into.
I watched them, waiting for them to take off so I could follow, glad to have a few minutes of quiet.
I had grown attached to the kids, but they could be loud.
At the last second, Dan jumped into my car, with that grin that had been melting me every time I glimpsed it.
“What happened to you not needing anything?” I asked, remembering his cousin Masha cajoling him to join them. He’d been pretty adamant that he’d rather do almost anything else than spend the afternoon being treated like a pack mule. His firm dismissal looked like it kind of hurt her feelings.
“I remembered something at the last minute,” he told me, looking me up and down appreciatively. “And it’s been too long since we were alone.”
“More like not long enough,” I said, ignoring the tingle I felt everywhere his eyes roamed. I tried to get angry, consider him a jerk, but in truth, I liked it.
I liked the laugh that followed my statement, too. “If I say you look gorgeous, does that make me a pig?” he asked. I grumbled, feeling my cheeks start to burn. “Come on, Paisley, don’t you miss me?”
“Not even a little,” I quipped, staring him down.
“Liar,” he said, eyes intense.
“You sure do like accusing me of that.” I couldn’t turn away as his eyes darkened even more and his gaze dropped to my lips.
“Should I prove it again?”
Every one of his expert kisses rushed my memory, bringing warm tingles to my skin.
Oh, he’d like it if I melted, wouldn’t he?
Hmph. Honestly, I would have liked it as well, but the lead car honked, signalling our little convoy was ready to move.
There was no winning getting into an argument. They all ended the same way.
With a sigh, I followed the rest of the family down into town, trying to ignore Dan and failing miserably.
Since I was there to herd the kids, there was no real reason for him to follow me once we were on the busy shopping street, lined with fancy boutiques and department stores.
But follow me, he did, to the delight of Alina and Artem, who were both picking out ornaments for the tree.
“Slow down,” Dan told Artie, who was chucking anything and everything into the basket as we meandered down the aisles at one of the many Christmas themed shops.
“Only choose your favorites,” Alina said, carefully studying two different ballerina ornaments. She chose the one with the puffiest skirt and plopped it in with the others. “They’re supposed to be meaningful.”
“They’re all my favorites,” Artie argued. “This is the best Christmas ever.”
“Agreed,” Dan said, hoisting him onto his broad shoulders.
Why was my stupid heart finding this all so adorable? There was a yearning in me to really be part of something like what the Fokins had, and at the same time knowing it was all going to end in a little more than another week.
Then what? Where would I go? Would I ever feel safe again? As usual, I pushed those questions out of my mind.
“What’s the thing you want most for Christmas?” Alina asked me, after she made sure Dan knew exactly what she hoped to receive and Artie had listed enough toys to fill one of the SUVs all on their own.
“Oh, I don’t know,” I said. “I’ll probably get a new sweater from my mom and dad.”
She seemed to find this incredibly boring but I assured her I could always use more sweaters.
“No jewelry?” she asked. “My mama pretends not to like jewelry but she always loves it when Papa brings her something new.”
I could feel Dan’s eyes burning into me as he waited for my answer. “I don’t really wear any with my job,” I said, shrugging.
We made it out of the holiday shop and headed for the nearest snack stand.
It was a perfect day, cold but clear and sunny.
The snow was piled high on both sides of the street, but it was cleared from all the walkways and parks.
People were dressed in bright colors, their parkas hanging open, their hats and mittens stuffed into pockets.
As soon as we had our order and were seated at one of the picnic tables in the open air courtyard, Dan said he needed to go do something.
“I won’t be gone long,” he said. “How about you go into the perfume shop to get your mama that smelly stuff she likes and I’ll meet you there.”
“Where are you going?” Alina asked, eyeing him.
“Is it a secret?” Artie sat up straighter. “Are you going to get that Lego set I was telling you about?”
Dan tapped them each on their noses. “Not everything is about you munchkins,” he said, winking at me.
Oh great. Just minutes after I made a stink about not needing any jewelry.
He couldn’t be sneaking away to buy me something extravagant, thinking he could buy my affection, right?
The joke was on him because I was nothing like the sort of woman he must be used to if that was the route he decided to take.
The thought of the other women he’d been with made my hot chocolate taste less delicious and I pushed it aside.
Not everything was about me, either. Whatever he was doing, and I didn’t care at all, it most certainly wasn’t buying me a piece of jewelry.
That left me with an odd, empty feeling.
I didn’t need a present, damn it, and if he got me anything at all, it was probably out of pity since I’d be the only one on Christmas morning without anything to open.
Ugh, that was worse.
After the snack break, we met back up with Dan in the perfume shop as he promised, and Mila and Nat joined us soon after, pushing their darling babies in matching strollers.
Though Mila was actually Nat’s aunt, they were almost the same age and their babies were born in close succession since they’d been eager for them to be as close as they had been growing up.
No matter how Alina and Artie tried to get him to admit what his secret errand was about, Dan kept his lips sealed, only looking at me in such a way that I began to wonder if he really did buy me something.
The whole roller coaster of emotions hit me again, worrying I’d be embarrassed if it was too expensive and his family suspected something, or that it was just out of pity.
By the time we got back to the lodge, I was sick to death of thoughts of presents and if I could find a way of getting out of helping to decorate the tree later on, I was going to take it. I was all out of holiday cheer for that day.
Until there was a package waiting for me on the desk in the entry hall.
One of the housekeepers said it had been delivered for me shortly after we left.
I tore off the brown paper to see a gift, beautifully wrapped in silver paper with sparkling red ribbon.
Well of course Marlowe wouldn’t forget about me, especially since I’d jumped in to take this job at the last minute.
I hugged the box to me, resisting the urge to shake it and accidentally figure out what it was.
I guess I really was feeling a bit lonely and left out, surrounded by that big loving family who were clearing out the local shops for gifts for each other.
Now I had a present to add to the pile. Someone cared about me, too.
“Pathetic, much?” I muttered, but was still smiling as I added it with the others.
The guys were dragging the massive tree in to set up in the middle of the huge hall, and I sat down to watch as it was hoisted to nearly touch the ceiling, which was two stories high. I texted Marlowe, thanking her for thinking of me and promising to get her something as soon as I was back in LA.
Which might be never, but there was no way I could tell her any of my troubles with Axon and the FBI. While the tree was getting set up, I kept the kids out of the way, organizing an impromptu game of hide and seek until we heard the call that it was decoration time.
We’d only been out of the way for less than an hour, but some miracle worker had managed to drape the giant tree in twinkling multicolored lights. It was so dazzling that the children and I skidded to a halt, just staring for a long moment.
“We won!” Alina cried, high fiving her cousins.
The entire afternoon a mock war had been waged between kids and adults over whether the tree should be festooned with colorful or white lights.
The adults smiled benignly at their joyous victory.
Of course they won. I glanced around for Dan who’d been firmly on the colorful side, much to his little cousins’ happiness.
He was nowhere to be found, and instead of relief, I had a flash of disappointment.
The kids began digging in the bags that were left near the doors, trying to find their ornaments, and I pulled out my phone to take a picture of the mayhem.
It would make a cute before and after that I could show to Katie and the other moms when the tree was fully decorated.
That was when I saw that Marlowe had answered my message about her sweet gift.
I didn’t send your present. I was waiting for you to get back! Want to have a combo late Christmas and early New Year’s at my place?
Wait, what? That couldn’t be right. A chill went down my spine as I read it through once more.
If Marlowe didn’t send the present, who did?
She was the only person who knew where I was.
At least, she was the only person who should have known where I was.
And the housekeeper said it arrived as soon as we left so Dan couldn’t have sent it back.
Did the people at Axon find me? No, that was ridiculous. I was being paranoid, wasn’t I?
I turned to the table, piled high with cheerfully wrapped boxes, the overflow stacked against the curving staircase.
My throat closed up and time seemed to slow down as I hurried across the room to see if there was a card or note attached to my gift that I hadn’t noticed.
Anything to assure me that nothing was wrong.
Too late. A sound as loud as a gunshot rang out as the whole pile of presents exploded.