Chapter Five – Roman
Always be prepared.
That had been my motto since the day I turned nineteen, twenty years ago. From that moment, I understood the life I’d been born into.
But today, some young, witty girl with an impressive display of confidence and skill managed to stun me for two reasons: One, she was just a girl .
I’d seen them, and they had come in different ages, shapes, and sizes. And not one left such an impression like this one did.
Two, she brought back memories. Memories from eighteen months ago that made me remember the one time I was careless—the one time I’d made a terrible mistake.
Turning off the lights in the room, I shut the door and went down the stairs.
There she was, waiting, with wandering eyes and crossed feet. The famous Miss Maria Simmons was seated on the couch, looking stiff as a stick. When I entered the living room, she froze, appearing even more rigid than she was only seconds ago.
Her eyes, an unusual, captivating shade of hazel, green, and gold, looked up at me, and I watched them widen in a silly slow-motion effect.
Gone were my bloodied suits and leather shoes.
Her gaze traveled, sweeping down from the top of my head, past my white tee shirt, down my gray sweatpants, and finally to my sandal-clad feet. When she was done observing, as if I were some outer space specimen, she dragged her eyes back to mine.
In them, I saw the same fear that I’d seen in that hotel eighteen months ago, but mingled with that fear was the same resilience and confidence she possessed even now.
One look at her was misleading.
Her features were delicate and innocent: slender with curves and dips in all the right places, with a small button nose and lips that might have posed a distraction to any rational man. But I saw her in action, wielding that knife like a sword.
I’d seen the fierceness laying underneath that guise of femininity, the strength in her grasp when she fought to keep Polly behind her.... I recognized individual uniqueness when I spotted it, and the girl seated there was no doubt intriguing.
But...she was just a girl. And like every other, she gaped without reservations.
Water dropped on my nose from my hair, and her eyes followed my hand as I wiped them away. It got irritating.
“Is that how you weaken your opponents?”
She blinked, shook her head, and licked her lips like she was parched before responding. When she spoke out loud, the silvery sound filled the quiet around us. “Sorry, what?”
I lifted a brow and sat down on the couch facing hers, crossing one leg over the other. “I asked if that’s how you weaken your opponents—staring them down until they lose focus.”
Briefly, she smiled.
And then, it disappeared.
She cleared her throat. “No.”
“Hm.”
I gave us a moment of silence as I assessed her, and I strangely enjoyed watching her squirm under my gaze. Dark-blonde hair fell forward, framing the curve of her rosy cheeks, and I watched quietly as she tucked the strands behind her ears.
“This is the second time, Miss Maria Simmons, or is it not?”
Now, she appeared a tad bit annoyed. The curtains ruffled, and she took a minute to stare at them before responding. And when she did, I had her full attention. She shifted to the edge of the couch.
“I’m sorry, but I’m not sure I understand why you’re choosing to speak in the vaguest manner. You can talk to me without sounding like a cryptic bot.”
Again with that confidence.
I raised a brow at her tone.
If she wanted to be straightforward, then I could do straightforward.
“Hamilton.”
My words dropped like a heavy weight in the silence.
Realization flashed through dark hazel and green, and I caught her throat bob with the most subtle gulp.
Good.
She’d been caught. Now, she remembered, even if I doubted that she would ever forget.
I leaned forward, tilting closer.
The air between us was warm, as opposed to the chill in the room, and I was close enough to know what she smelled like: bergamot and a mix of gardenia. I ignored the whiff of distraction and focused instead on her big doe eyes.
“Eighteen months ago, you were there, weren’t you? At Hamilton? You saw me,” I heard myself say, like she had seen beyond the surface. “I know who you are, Maria—”
“I’m sorry....” Her intrusion was curt, with shifty eyes. “I don’t know what you’re talking—”
“I strongly advise that you desist from finishing that sentence, Miss Simmons.” I was in no mood for games, and I made sure I let her know with a cutting tone. “The last person who tried that fucking line with me took one silver souvenir to the stomach.”
Her eyes widened, and I pointed at her.
“You know exactly what went down in that hotel that day. Now’s not the best time to play stupid.”
After a moment of self-reflection, she responded quietly, “Understood.”
I couldn’t help it; I watched the girl seated on my couch. Her sudden silence and submission spoke volumes. I expected someone as audacious as her to try and challenge me, but she didn’t. It was a technique, one I recognized all too well.
When the enemy had you backed into a corner, the smartest thing to do was play along. Pretend to be on the same page with them, and, when they least suspect it...strike.
For whatever reason, I wasn’t sure why the girl in front of me would want to strike. I had barely given her sufficient reasons to believe I was the enemy. But I sure as hell knew that, from the minute her eyes had met mine on the deserted road, she felt threatened, backed up into a corner.
I decided to tread carefully, to tell her exactly what I wanted from her without scaring her off.
“You’ve got skills, the type that’s very rare amongst the womenfolk. Confidence, courage, audacity. You possessed them that day and even now.”
The room fell quiet. Then, more silence.
I made a sound with my throat.
Her blank stare was more irritating than watching her gape.
She looked on, unsure of how to respond, so I said, “Thank you for saving Polly.”
Maria had already begun shaking her head and edging closer, her voice softer than anything I’d heard before. “Please, Mr. Varkov. You don’t have to thank me. Polina is my student, and a favorite of mine. I would never stand and watch anything bad happen to your daughter. Never.”
I gave a curt nod. “I know.”
She relaxed.
“That is why I want you.”
A sound filled the gap between us, a sound between a cough and a hiccup.
I began to think it was my ears until I realized she had physically choked. Rosy cheeks were now a deeper shade of scarlet, and the blank expression was gone. Something else masked her features, something strangely appealing.
I’d been around women long enough to know desire when I saw it. Seeing her eyes light up with that flickering glow was, indeed, amusing.
For the first time in a while, I couldn’t control it; I felt the corner of my lips curve to a grin. “Before you get it twisted—”
“I wasn’t getting anything twisted,” she interrupted, clearly defensive.
And I felt my smile slip.
I rubbed the crease between my brows. “Sure, you weren’t. Back to what’s important. You’re good at what you do, no doubt, and I know you don’t know me, but you will in due time. You see, Miss Simmons, the life I live is not as colorful as yours....”
She made a face, probably calling me shit in her head for immediately summing up her life without knowing her. But I ignored her.
“You might have already figured it out, but I am not a man of assumptions. I will not assume that you know anything. So, let me enlighten you. I belong to the Bratva. And all you should know is that we’re what you might call a Russian crime family—even if I don’t fucking care what you call it. There are things you consider to be part of a normal life. Well, I don’t have that...that normal life. I sleep with a gun under my pillow. That couch you’re seated on? There’s a Glock 19 and S one I cannot ever ignore. But it doesn’t matter that I have to go through this black-and-white painted world; she didn’t choose the life she has. It is my responsibility to protect her with my life.”
I didn’t expect her to nod, but she did. “Was that why you got her enrolled at PMAA? So she could learn how to defend herself?”
“You truly are a smart one.” I’d meant to keep my thoughts to myself, but they went leaking out. “However, I’m pulling her out of the Academy.”
With immediate speed, she sprang up on her feet, her hair falling forward as she glared knives at me. Her jaw dropped, and her small mouth hung open. “ What? ”
***
She was firing rapidly, not bothering to hold in her concerns.
“Why would you do that? I mean, don’t get me wrong, I understand your protective instinct. As her father, you’d want to take her away from any dangerous spots. But she’s making so much progress already. You should’ve seen her when she shoved that bastard and pulled the brakes. Stopping her now won’t help her.”
When she finished, she was breathing fast. Her chest went up and down, and her breasts caught my attention through the thickness of her cashmere blouse. Not overly voluptuous, but also not flat. They had the perfect shape, like they would fit into my hands if I molded them.
She looked at me funny, and I frowned.
“Sit the fuck down.”
Nothing prepared her for my harshness, and she flinched, like she’d been bitten by a snake—bitten by me . But I didn’t take it back, even if she recoiled like a scolded child and retook her seat.
I kept her gaze locked with mine when I said, “My enemies are my daughter’s enemies. They’re not about to stop coming after her, and trust me: I don’t need a nanny who will fucking run away at the first sight of danger.”
My jaw clenched.
If or when I got ahold of Irina, she was going to fucking pay for leaving Polly all alone out there.
I inhaled and looked up. “That’s why I want you to be a bodyguard, an instructor, and a nanny to my baby. I want you to bring the Academy here, to my home. To Polly.”
In a quick flash, her anger simmered, and she looked baffled. “What?”
“Isn’t that better?”
“What…what do you mean by ‘isn’t that better’?”
Her tone.
My eyes narrowed. “Only a few minutes ago, you were vexed about my decision to withdraw her, and now, you’ve got a problem with tutoring her here?”
Her mouth fell agape, and she blinked, wearing a comical mask of disbelief. “God, I love Polina like she were my own sister. But what you’re asking from me is a whole lot.”
Eerily, she paused, as if considering something. She was no longer looking at me now. Her fingers were shaking and they journeyed all the way up to her throat, like she was recounting a memory.
Knowing as much as I did, I knew what that throat grab meant. And as crazy as it seemed, not knowing this girl as much as I should, I didn’t like it one fucking bit.
“I have my life,” she mumbled. “My job, my…my…. God, I’m not sure I can—”
“ Telling .”
She paused, then licked her lips slowly. The gentle swipe sent unwelcome signals to my brain, and I noticed how wet and pink it was. And how so fucking inviting.
“I’m sorry, Mr. Varkov, I didn’t quite catch that.”
Blanking out the image of her tongue, I shifted on my seat, ready to indulge her even more.
“Telling,” I repeated more sternly. “I am not asking you to quit your fucking job at the Academy, Miss. Simmons. I am telling you, it’s already done. It has been from the second you walked through those doors.”
Her confidence slipped off like a piece of clothing, and beneath was nothing but vulnerability. She gazed at me, hazel eyes swimming with loathing and hurt; her breathing grew shallow, and her stubbornness struggled to hold tears in. “But I need the money.”
I maintained my composure. “You don’t have a fucking choice.”
Anger flashed, and hazel turned to a darker shade, like glowing embers. “This is not fair.”
My brows twitched. “Fair?” I scoffed. “You should be dead. Twice, you’ve watched me. Twice, you’ve been there. You are alive to tell two stories. And that should never happen. You’ve already seen too much. If I allow you to go through that door without taking my offer, it will be in a body bag.”
“This is blackmail!”
“So what, you want to cry?” I flashed a grin—mocking, taunting. Backing her up in a corner even more.
She gritted her teeth, and her jaw clenched, daring me to threaten her one more time. “I will not do this!”
Good thing I loved a challenge.
“I know everything about you, Miss Simmons. Where you live, where you work...daytime at PMAA and night shift at Rosy’s . I know about your father and the miserable life he lived in and out of bars. I know your father was a shitty, shitty man. Took a lot of bottles and couldn’t hold his own weight. I know he has a huge debt hanging on his head, even until he went to the grave. But…whatever the cost, I’m going to pay. All you have to do is take care of Polina full-time, and you’ll get a fat paycheck at the end of the month.”
The corners of her eyes tightened, and she gave me an even harder, more loathsome glare. “You don’t know the cost.”
I leaned forward. “I didn’t say tell me . I said I’ll pay.”
She kept quiet, but her eyes did all the talking. They were like mirrors, reflecting every thought going through her head. She was listing out reasons why she should not accept my offer, and I couldn’t blame her. I’d not exactly given her much to look forward to—no promised life of roses and rainbows.
Just work and payment of services.
Women like her were hard to persuade, even if I was convinced that it wouldn’t take long to make her crack.
She questioned whether it would be worth throwing away everything she had worked hard to build. The second she reached her conclusion, I saw the resolution in her eyes.
I grinned.
No one said no to me.
“You said you’ll clear the debt and still pay a salary?”
One brief nod from me seemed to convince her. She let down her walls and exhaled—a long breath of surrender.
Not like she had a choice or anything.
“Fine. I’ll do it, but only because I really need the money and not because you threatened me. Take it this way: I’m using you.”
She’d said it, intending for her words to sting, and my smirk broadened. The girl was na?ve if she thought her disdain would perturb me even in the slightest.
“If that will help you sleep at night.”
Her brows wrinkled, and she attempted to scold me with her eyes. “I need to know how long you’ll keep me here. When will I gain my freedom?”
I rose to my feet, sending a clear message: I was done with this conversation.
“For however long I fucking want it to be. You’re not going anywhere anytime soon, Miss Maria Simmons. You’re stuck here until I decide that you’ve proven yourself. If I find your services satisfactory, and you’re no longer needed, you will be dismissed. Understood?”
She grumbled, mumbling something that sounded like a curse under her breath, and her expression was grave when she said, “It’s not like you left me any other option.”
She looked like I might have as well pointed a gun at her head and yelled, “Give me all your money!”
“Great. Glad we have an agreement.” I let the pregnant silence linger for a few seconds between us before adding, “Lev will have your things brought here first thing tomorrow morning.”
The moping and grouchy visage remained until I was halfway out of the living room, and I felt the heat of her stare burning the back of my clothes.
Maybe I should have felt the smallest pinch of concern. I was asking— demanding —that she throw her life away and dedicate it to my household for as long as I wanted.
It was wicked, selfish, and against every principle she probably stood for. But this was my life—ticking and checking those boxes to make sure shit happened in my favor. In this case, it was Polly. And I knew deep down that, to protect her, and without a second thought, I would do whatever it took to keep her safe. No matter how much it cost me, I would do it a thousand times over because she mattered to me more than anything else in the world.