Chapter 24 - Nikita
My heart is racing a million miles an hour. I'm too scared to take a proper breath of air as I crouch low behind the crate with my back pushed against it.
Thank goodness I had all that practice escaping at Bardil's place. It turned out to be a skill I really needed when it mattered most.
I woke up in a small room with yellow-stained walls and the stench of damp and mold.
The floor was cold and clammy, and almost as soon as I gained consciousness, I wanted to vomit from the lack of air. My head pulsed with pain. A thick, throbbing headache sat right behind my eyes, blurring my vision.
Right away, I knew something was wrong, and even though my instincts were pushing me to scream for help, I held my breath. I waited. I counted seconds and gave myself time to fully take in everything around me.
The car crash flashed in my mind. It made me wince in pain, and when I tentatively reached up to touch my face, I could still feel the tiny diamonds of glass in my skin.
Like splinters. Sharp, devilish thorns. I had to use my sleeve to carefully brush it over my skin to try and get the worst of them away from my face.
I didn't want to blink and end up with glass in my eye.
The blood on my cheeks and forehead has dried. It flaked off and drifted silently to the floor as I fought fear and panic.
It's ok. It's going to be ok.
I told myself that over and over again until my heart beat slowed down, and I could take a breath without my entire body shaking.
I wasn't tied up, but I was locked in.
One door. It looked so rotten that I could have kicked it in, but that option would have been too loud.
My mind raced, and I reached up to grab the little rabbit pendant around my neck. It had become a habit since I chose to put it on. A reassurance of sorts. Except instead of grabbing the rabbit, I grabbed the sword.
Because you shouldn't be underestimated. That's what he told me when he gave it to me.
My heart did a somersault in that moment, and I pulled the necklace off and held the sword in my hand.
At first, I thought it might not be long enough, but it was.
I couldn't believe it when, quietly, methodically, I managed to use it to pick the lock.
Now I'm crouching behind these crates and wondering how the hell to get past the guards who seem to be everywhere in the lower level of the warehouse.
The door is right there. A few feet away, but blocked by two men.
I can do this, I tell myself. I got this far. Just a little more.
A noise somewhere upstairs has both men spinning toward it with their hands immediately resting on their weapons.
I hold my breath and close my eyes, waiting.
"Better check it out," one man mutters.
"Fine," the other huffs.
They move off, and I snatch the only chance I might have.
Staying low, I half run, half crawl toward the doors and out into the cold night air. But outside, there are more men, and I'm forced to press myself against the warehouse wall and hide again.
Dammit, I silently curse.
At least I'm not inside anymore.
But soon I realize I'm still in a lot of trouble. There are too many guards. Too many men with their eyes everywhere, and there is nowhere for me to run. I'm trapped.
Gunshots snap through the air, and two men fall flat on their faces. I get such a fright that I yelp, then I clamp my hand over my mouth, horrified that I let myself slip up like that.
But the guards aren't paying attention. They're too busy focusing on the stream of men in black Kevlar who are flooding the front of the warehouse, pushing past them, taking them out by one.
Behind me, I hear a man scream and more gunshots. Bardil's voice shouts, "Don't shoot, it's me! I'm coming out the front!"
Two of the men in black Kevlar gesture toward the entrance. "It's Bardil!" one shouts, and I recognize Diomid's voice.
"Diomid!" I scream his name as panic and relief mix in a cry of emotions.
"Stay down," he yells back.
I watch as my brothers and their allies systematically take out every one of the guards.
When the shooting stops, I hesitantly stand.
My entire body is shaking from shock.
Matvei runs to Bardil, grabbing his arm. "Where is Alex Sokolov?" he demands.
"Dead. He's inside. He came back, and I caught him by surprise."
"So, that's everyone?" Diomid asks, slowly lowering his gun.
"Bardil?" I almost whimper. Bardil spins toward me and runs.
"Nikita, you're here!" he shouts, grabbing me into his arms.
I clutch onto him, crying and shaking and trying to breathe evenly.
My body is in turmoil, and when a sharp pain shoots through my stomach, I yelp and step away from him, clutching at my belly.
"What's wrong?" he asks, worried.
I look down and see blood soaking through my jeans between my legs. "No," I gasp in horror.
"Nikita!" he shouts in panic when he sees it too. "She's hurt!"
My head spins, and blackness threatens my balance and vision. I clutch onto him, my eyes wide and my voice tight. "Save the baby, please, save the baby… "
Bardil scoops me into his arms and yells at Diomid, "Take us to the hospital!"
Diomid is running with us, and my head is spinning in and out of focus.
I don't remember getting into the car. I don't remember the drive.
I do remember Bardil's voice, a constant soothing sound that kept me floating above the surface.
Then there was silence.
Until a steady beeping sound, rhythmic and annoying, pulled me out of a nightmare.
"Bardil?" I call out as soon as my eyes open into the glaring white room. It's too bright. A sharp clinical scent assaults my senses.
I lift my hand to hold it in front of my eyes to try and block out some of the light, and I see a thin cable leading to my hand. At first, I panic, thinking I'm tied up, but my mind quickly recognizes it as a drip. The needle carefully set with tape beneath my skin.
My eyes trace along the line that leads to a bag of fluids hanging from the corner of my hospital bed.
I only manage to keep my eyes open long enough to register these things before I fall asleep again.
The next time I wake up, the room is filled with a much softer light, and outside the window, it's either very early morning or very late afternoon. I can't tell if the sun is setting or rising.
Groaning, I shift in the bed and try to sit up.
"Oh, no, sweetheart, don't do that."
A nurse hurries to my side and gently pushes me back down.
"I want to sit up, please," I argue.
"Ok, but rather let me lift the back of the bed. You need to take it very easy."
She pushes a button on a remote, and slowly the bed begins to rise behind me.
In a flash, my panic slaps me.
"My baby!" I blurt out.
"It's ok, you're ok," she says calmly. "The baby is ok."
"I was bleeding… "
"You were. Your body went into high stress mode, and it reacted. However, there was no damaged done and we made sure you stayed isolated and resting in this room for as long as you needed to."
"How long have I been here?" I murmur, noticing how heavy my body feels.
She hands me a glass of water. "You've been asleep for almost thirty-six hours straight. Your friend outside was ready to tear the door down because we told him you had to rest. The doctor didn't want to risk anyone waking you before your body was ready," she explains.
"My friend?" I murmur.
She leans over and touches my face, seemingly satisfied with whatever she is checking.
"I'll go call him. He'll be happy to know you're awake and lucid. You woke up twice before, but you weren't incoherent and passed out again almost instantly."
The nurse leaves, and I'm alone in the clean, white room.
I remember everything.
I remember what I said to Bardil just before I passed out.
I bite my lip.
What has he been thinking? Is he angry? Is he upset? Will he hate me for keeping it from him? Is he the one who has been trying to get in to see me?
Anxiety stirs inside me and I push it back down.
Stress won't help the baby.
I'm unimaginably lucky that my little one is still safe.
No matter what Bardil says… I'll just be honest with him. There's no point in drawing this out. Today is the day he has to make a choice because I can't handle this stress anymore.
The nurse peeks in through the door and smiles at me. I smile tightly back, and she steps away, and Bardil walks into the room, closing the door behind himself. His face is stern and tight with worry or anger. It's hard to read.
"Nikita, are you ok?" he asks, stepping up to the side of my bed.
I nod.
"You and… is everything ok?" he asks, clenching his jaw afterward.
"I'm so sorry I didn't tell you," I blurt out.
His face softens. My heart is racing with nervous fear.
"I wanted to tell you, but I didn't want you to think that that was why I wanted to be with you.
I meant it when I said I love you, Bardil and I didn't want you to choose me out of guilt or obligation to be a father to the child we created.
I thought if I gave you time to choose me before you knew…
Then I would know. I wouldn't have to worry that you did it because you thought you had to.
It wasn't how I wanted you to find out."
I take a deep breath and tear my eyes off his gorgeous face.
He doesn't say anything, but he's still looking at me.
After a long moment, he finally speaks.
"Let's pretend I don't know. Why don't you tell me now… however, you would have told me before."
I sigh and nod. "Ok," I say. "I'm pregnant with your baby.
I am keeping the baby. I am going to be an amazing mother.
I didn't tell you before because I didn't want you to think that it was the reason I was telling you I love you.
The facts are the facts. I love you no matter what.
If I had lost the baby today, I would still be in love with you.
Plain and simple. However, I will walk away if that is what you want.
If you want nothing to do with our child or me, I accept that.
Or if you want to only be in the child's life, and not mine…
I accept that too. But I have to ask you to make the decision today because I can't do this anymore, Bardil.
I need to think about the baby now, and my stress levels. "
He takes a long, slow breath and reaches out to thread his fingers through mine. He lifts my hand to his lips and kisses the back of my hand. Is he saying goodbye?
"Little rabbit, I thought I lost you yesterday.
I can't even describe the fear I felt. Fear so intense I didn't even know it was possible.
And it was all at the idea of losing you.
I have loved you for a while now, but I was too scared, too weak maybe?
… to tell you. Maybe even too scared to admit it to myself, but I felt it.
And now that I'm not trying to hide from it I feel it a hundred times stronger than before and growing. "
He moves closer, cupping his hand over my cheek.
"My beautiful, sweet little rabbit. My princess.
I never want to go a day in this life without seeing your face and holding you in my arms. I never want to wake a single morning and not have you by my side.
I love you more than life itself. More than the air I breathe.
I love you more than anything on this entire astral plane.
" He grins, his eyes glittering with mischief.
Playful, flooded with emotion and full of love.
"The whole astral plane?" I whisper, trying not to cry from happiness.
"The whole damn thing," he laughs, gently pulling me into his arms and hugging me against his chest. His heart beats against my body, and I cry tears of happiness that soak into his shirt.
When he moves away to look at me, I can't believe how lucky I am that everything worked out exactly how I dreamed and hoped for.
He wipes a tear from my cheek with his thumb. "The nurse said that you are allowed to go home in a few hours. They just want to wait until the drip is finished to be sure you have enough fluids and vitamins."
"Did she tell you that?" I would love to go home and sleep in a normal bed away from the clinic smell.
"I did," her voice pulls both our attention to the doorway. "Sorry to interrupt. I was just bringing you some lunch."
My stomach growls with hunger. Loudly letting everyone in the room know how excited I am for the food she's brought. I giggle and blush.
Bardil stays at my side while she pulls a bed table across my lap and sets the food down on it.
She looks at Bardil, her eyes stern. "When this beautiful lady goes home with you, I expect you to take care of her and make sure she rests however much she needs to.
A week in bed, and after that another doctor's visit to ensure she is healthy and fit and has the green light to move around freely… "
Bardil nods. "I will be very strict with her, I assure." He grins and winks at me. "She's feisty and hates being told what to do, but I think I've figured her out enough to get her to listen to me."