Chapter Nineteen
· Brooks ·
I couldn’t tear my eyes off her. If I’d thought she took my breath away in the costume she’d worn for our day in the park, she was causing certain death tonight.
Heart? Stopped. Brain? Useless. Oxygen? Sucked out of the room.
Addie was barely aware of the eyes following her every step across the darkened barroom floor.
I was used to being the one catching attention, but people noticed Addie first, and checked to see who she was with second, and that’s when recognition flickered across their faces.
I couldn’t hold it against them.
She wore a thin knitted dress that perfectly clung to every voluptuous curve while the fabric was soft enough to avoid looking like she was aiming to be on the cover of Playboy.
She’d always had that ineffable thing…Some people called it charisma, others it-factor.
It couldn’t be taught. I’d seen many people try and fail to fake it over the years, dye their hair, bleach their teeth, change their whole online personalities—but this was what it looked like in action.
The energy in a room shifted ever so slightly when someone with it walked in.
Like thin threads tugged on people’s minds, just enough to make them pay attention.
Unfortunately for Addie, that attention could turn to vitriol with one or two missteps.
She’d had to experience that with her hometown, so for our first official date, I’d scouted out this music bar, Rock’n & Roll’n, forty-five minutes away from Wild Fields, on the outskirts of Memphis.
I’d called the place a few days ago, so when we arrived, the owner greeted us, took a picture to hang behind the bar, and now led us to a booth by the stage.
The tables around us conveniently had little “reserved” signs on them, keeping them empty.
It was open mic night, and an older lady on her guitar currently crooned about losing her dog…
or potentially her husband. The chorus involved a lot of leash and collar references.
“What do normal people talk about on dates? Their favorite color? Comfort childhood movie? Bucket list travel destinations?” Addie switched her crossed legs for the third or fourth time within just as many minutes.
“Green, white coming close second. Shrek 2. Seoul,” I said.
She blinked at me. “Yes.”
“We’re not normal people. I know you.” I reached across the table but stopped halfway. Before I could retract my hand, Addie slipped her fingers into the curve of my palm.
“This is about as much action as you’re getting tonight until we head home,” she whispered.
“I’ll take it.” I smiled and slipped my fingers through hers, intertwining our hands.
The bar owner herself brought our food out and double- and triple-checked whether we wanted to sign up for open mic night because the lineup was basically empty except for the dog-husband lady. We sent her off disappointed.
I fixed my plate, stopping the coleslaw from getting its juices on the burger ribs. Addie waited until the owner was out of earshot before picking the conversation back up. “Can I ask you something about Skye?”
My shoulders stiffened automatically but I nodded. She squeezed my hand in response, twice.
“We’ve established that her grandparents are dicks, but do you know how her mom treated her?”
“Yes and no.” I sighed. “Losing her has obviously made Skye more inclined to put Candace on a pedestal but she’s opened up more and more. Every time we figured out a way to make life a little easier. I think Candace tried but never fully understood where Skye’s needs came from.”
“But you understand her.” It wasn’t a question.
I waited and watched and tried to find a hint of judgment on her features, but Addie was, as always, just Addie. “Spending time with her has made me realize a lot of the things I went through as a kid weren’t exactly normal.”
“What do you mean?”
“It made me realize that I’m autistic.”
She raised a brow at me. “No shit, Sherlock.”
“What?”
“I’m sorry, but Brooks, you eat your food in color-coded order.
You wear the same outfit basically every single day.
And you know more about music than anyone I’ve ever met, and not in an ‘oh he’s just an eccentric musician’ kinda way.
And when you look at me, you look at my ear or my cheek, just close enough to pass for eye contact. ”
“I don’t know what to say to that.”
“Well, shit. I thought you knew.” She squeezed my hand again and this time I squeezed back, needing to remind myself that being perceived wasn’t bad.
Addie had seen all those parts of me, had put the puzzle together, and it didn’t change anything.
I wasn’t the little boy hiding in the music room anymore because I was just a little uncanny for the other kids.
“How did you know?” I asked after taking a beat.
“I grew up working summers in a theme park. We got hospitality training to make sure every park guest feels welcome, safe, and taken care of.”
“You could have told me.”
“Again…I thought you knew.” She pointed her fork at my plate where I had arranged the foods so they wouldn’t touch. “Did it change anything? Figuring it out?”
“It clarified things. I’d already gotten to a point in my life where I could ask for certain accommodations and people would just give them to me. Eccentric musician and all.”
She rolled her eyes as I threw her words back at her.
“It’s become easier to see the correlation between things now.
I thought my body shut down after big shows to the point of not being able to talk because of the singing.
For the longest time I thought I’d just need to get better vocal coaches, take throat meds, that kind of thing.
Now I know it’s the overstimulation.” My words rushed out as if the thoughts had built behind a dam in my mind and it was finally breaking.
Addie hummed and nodded, just listening.
“It’s odd to talk about this with you.”
“Really?” she asked.
“It’s strange to talk about, period. I’ve never…”
“You haven’t told anyone?”
“Only Skye after I got diagnosed. I didn’t even tell her grandparents. I didn’t want them to twist it into an argument about how I’m an unfit parent.”
Adriana stretched her foot out under the table and poked her tiptoes into my calf. “Thanks for telling me.”
“Well, you already knew, so it doesn’t really count.”
“Of course it counts.” She poked me with her foot again, harder this time. “It’s the intention that matters. You trusted me.”
“Yeah, I do.” I caught her ankle, trapping her foot against me. “I trust you. And see? I’m now getting more action out of it.”
Her eyes flicked down to the table as if she could see through the polished wood.
The flame of the small tea light reflected in her gray irises and its flickering gave the illusion that her freckles were dancing across her nose.
She was otherworldly beautiful. And I got to look at her for hours, touch her, kiss her, run my tongue over that one freckle on her lower lip.
Addie licked her lip as if she was reading my thoughts.
Mine. The word shot through my thoughts and left a hollow echo in its wake. I never wanted her to be mine. I didn’t want to own her. The opposite was true. I wanted her to have the world. And yet…a pain tugged at my chest at the thought of watching her leave Wild Fields behind.
“I bought a house,” I said before I could stop my tongue. I dropped her ankle.
“Wait. What? When? How? From whom? Where?”
“I think you’ve covered all the questions,” I chuckled. “The paperwork was finalized yesterday. I didn’t want to say anything until I could be sure. Do you know Mr. Barrows?” One thing I’d learned was that everyone knew everyone by name in small towns like ours.
“Yeah, Lindsey’s dad? That Victorian place at the end of Forrester Road? That was up for sale? That’s been in his family for like a hundred years.”
“It wasn’t up for sale. Apparently, Lindsey moved to Florida a couple of months ago, and she wanted her dad to come live with her. Noah talks to her every now and again, and he mentioned it to me. So I went to talk to Mr. Barrows and made him an offer.”
She blinked. “You talk to Noah?”
“Yeah, when I pick Skye up from her riding lessons.”
“Okay.” Addie stubbed a fry into her ketchup again and again until it was soggy and bent.
“What are you thinking?”
She shoved her plate aside and leaned over the table to whisper.
“People will expect me to move in with you, right? That would make this more complicated. I liked having you at my place, but it felt like a staycation more than cohabitation. And technically, even if we already know each other, this is our first proper date. Going from first date to moving in together is a bit fast.”
“Addie, I don’t expect anything from you.”
“You say that now.”
“Plus, the house needs some serious TLC. We’re talking bathrooms, kitchen, roof…If we’re lucky, we’ll be able to move in before Christmas.”
Based on her deep forehead wrinkles, she was doing the math on how long Christmas was away.
A quiet moment stretched between us.
The custody hearing was weeks before Christmas.
Once we got that over with, we could take things slow without anyone expecting us to act like an engaged couple.
We’d have to talk about the logistics of it at some point, but I didn’t expect Addie to move in with us even if I liked having her in my bed every night.
“Sing with me?” Addie asked and ripped me from my thoughts.
Her eyes were on the small stage that had been left unoccupied.
“Are you sure?” I asked because I hadn’t heard her make it through a whole song the last few weeks. She’d grimace and roll her shoulders and just keep playing guitar while her gaze drifted off.
“Not at all.” She pushed herself off the bench. “But right now, I feel like this is something I have to do for myself. I just need you there in case I forget the lyrics.”
“Okay.”