5. Calla
FIVE
CALLA
Thompson’s podcast episode with Jax Singleton came out today. The same day as the red carpet premiere of his new movie that I’m attending with him. Marketing at its best.
I’ve got my prep team at my house getting me ready—my favorite makeup artist, my hair stylist, and Ashley. It’s all hands on deck for this event. I get to sit back and play the supportive girlfriend today. I prefer events that aren’t all about me.
We’re listening to the podcast while I get ready. After four years together, I’m pretty sure I know almost everything there is to know about Thompson, but I’m still going to support him. I’m proud of him for his career, and being on this podcast is part of that.
And I have no doubt he’s going to ask me if I listened to it, and I don’t want to lie to him.
Jax and Thompson talk about his new movie, how he got his start in Hollywood, and which one of his costars has been the best to work with. Simple things like that.
Then, the conversation turns to the one topic I was dreading—me. Our relationship has been public from the start. We were photographed out on our very first date, and it’s been non-stop ever since. I would’ve thought (or maybe hoped) that people would be sick of us by now, but apparently not.
“Thompson, you and Calla James have been together for a while now, right? How’s that going?” Jax asks. I immediately tense in my chair, and my makeup artist, Jess, taps my shoulder to remind me to relax.
“Yeah, we’ve been together for four years. We have a lot of fun together. Of course, being with someone for as long as we have, there are disagreements. Times where we can’t stand each other.” Ok. He could’ve left that last part out.
“I highly doubt many people would have a day when they couldn’t stand Calla James.” For some reason, Jax seems to be trying to right the sinking ship and give Thompson a way out of the hole he just dug himself into.
Unfortunately, my boyfriend doesn’t take it. “Ha. You’d be surprised, my man.”
Awesome.
Jax changes the subject. “What’s a typical day in the life for Thompson and Calla?”
“We’re both so busy, so every day is different for us. I’ve been off filming, and she’s gearing up for her tour. We text or call almost every day and try to see each other as much as possible when we’re both home. She came to visit me on set, and I’ve got some flights scheduled to meet her on a few of her tour dates. So, if you see me at a show, come say hi.”
Jax chuckles. “Are there wedding bells in the future for you two?”
“Nah, man. I don’t think so. That’s not really for me. We’re just having fun,” Thompson answers casually and quickly.
It feels like the room around me stops moving, and my heart drops to my stomach. Jess freezes mid-stroke with the blush, and my hair stylist removes the curling iron from my hair. Ashley stops typing on her phone.
He doesn’t want to marry me?
That’s news to me. We’ve had conversations about it, and he knows I want to get married one day and have a family. That’s so important to me. In all our years together, he’s never once brought up that he doesn’t want to get married.
And what does he mean we’re just having fun? He’s making it sound like we’ve been in a casual relationship or situationship for years.
My mind goes in a million different directions. Have his feelings for me changed? Has he always felt this way about us? Is he just trying to throw everyone off so it’s a surprise if he does propose? Does he ever want to get married or just not right now?
We are both in a really busy part of our career, so it wouldn’t make sense for us to get married right now. But still…
I hold back the tears prickling behind my eyes. I can’t let anyone see me cry about this, even though everyone in this room just heard my boyfriend tell the world he doesn’t want to marry me. They know it’s shitty. I know it’s shitty. But I’ve got to play the part.
“It’s totally fine, guys,” I announce. “We’re not ready to get married. That’s no secret.”
The three of them share a look, and Ashley turns off the podcast. I think we all want to stop listening after that last bombshell, anyway.
Jess starts another blush stroke, and Meg grabs a chunk of my hair and twists it around the curling iron. No one says a word.
“You sure you don’t need a minute?” Jess whispers to me.
I can’t look at her. If I see any kind of pity in her eyes, I’ll lose it. “I’m fine.”
Once I’m fully put together and dressed, I head downstairs, where Thompson is standing in the kitchen typing something on his phone.
“There she is,” he says, looking up from his phone. He looks nice in his black slacks and blue velvet sports coat.
“Ladies.” He directs that greeting to my team as they walk out the door past Luke, who’s standing by the door with his usual scowl.
Thompson smiles at me, but I can’t bring myself to smile back.
“Everything ok?” he asks.
My eyes go wide. He can’t be serious. “Is everything ok? Is everything ok? Are you kidding me right now?”
“What the hell is wrong?” he asks, looking genuinely confused.
“What’s wrong? You just told the whole world that you don’t want to marry me!”
He rolls his eyes.
Rolls. His. Eyes.
“Babe. Come on. I think you’re taking it a little too seriously.”
“How am I supposed to take it when my boyfriend of four years announces that we’re ‘just having fun?’” I ask.
“Calla, we’re not ready to get married. I thought you knew that.”
I close my eyes and take a breath to try to calm myself before I look at him again. The sadness I felt earlier is gone and replaced with anger. “Yes, but I do eventually want to get married. I want a family. Is that something you even want?”
He shrugs. “Yeah. Sure.”
Oh, good. Just what every girl wants to hear.
He comes closer and puts his hands on my hips. I want to push him off, to tell him not to touch me, but I just… can’t. And I hate myself a little for that.
“Babe. You know I’ll do whatever you want to make you happy. Do you wanna go get married right now?” he asks.
“No, of course not.”
“Then why are you getting all worked up?”
Because I’m embarrassed. Because I was kind of hoping for a proposal soon. Because he told the whole world this news before he told me.
I take a deep breath. “I just wish you wouldn’t have said something like that on a podcast.”
“Ok, well, I apologize for that. I probably could’ve worded it differently, but there’s no reason to get upset. We’re still together. I love you. You know that.”
Do I, though? It feels like he’s been drifting away from me. There were small, subtle changes at first as both of our careers grew, but when I look back on our relationship with his revelation, it feels like we’ve become two completely different people. And I’m not sure if that’s a good thing or a bad thing.
“Yeah, I know,” I mutter. I hate arguing. He has a way of twisting my anger around to make it seem like I’m in the wrong. I don’t even know if he realizes that he does it, but I always cave to keep the peace.
“Come on, then. Let’s not worry about that tonight and go have fun. This is a big night for me.”
I nod. He’s right. Tonight is about him. “Yeah, ok.”
He smiles and leans down to give me a gentle kiss on the lips. He’s learned over the years that he can’t mess up my lipstick once Jess is already gone.
He gives my ass a little pat before saying, “You look great by the way.”
“Thanks.” My voice feels small. I don’t want to look great. I want to be beautiful or gorgeous or sexy even. The dress that I’m wearing is way more than just great.
But I keep that to myself because I know if I bring it up, he’ll just make me feel stupid for saying anything.
He walks past me toward the door. He nods at Luke, but Luke doesn’t nod back. In fact, if I’m not mistaken, his scowl looks like it has a little more anger behind it tonight.
“Come on, babe. We’re gonna be late if we don’t leave now.”
I exhale and count to five to calm myself down, a trick I learned from watching YouTube therapy classes because my mom said it wouldn’t look good for my image if I actually went to therapy.
Then, I force a smile and turn around to follow after Thompson, who is already out the door and in the backseat of the waiting SUV.
Luke grabs my arm before I pass him. I look down in confusion to where his tattooed hand is wrapped around me. “What are you doing?”
His voice is low and hoarse when he answers, and it sends a shiver down my spine. “Are you ok?”
I’m sure he didn’t miss the little episode in the kitchen. He probably heard everything we said to each other which is even more embarrassing.
Am I ok?
What a simple question, but I’m not even sure if I know how to answer it.
Am I ok? No, I don’t think I am.
But that’s not Luke Pierson’s problem, is it? It’s no one’s problem but my own.
I look up into his dark eyes. “Worried about my safety again?”
His eyes move back and forth between mine. “No. I’m worried about you .”
No one worries about Calla James. As long as I can sing and put on a good show, nothing else matters.
“I’m fine.” I shake his hand off my arm and continue to the car. I feel Luke following behind me even though I can’t hear his footsteps. He’s stealthy. They must teach that in bodyguard school, too.
He closes the door behind me and gets into the front passenger seat.
“Oh, by the way, a few of my cast members want to come to dinner with us tomorrow night,” Thompson tells me.
My heart sinks. “I thought it was just going to be the two of us?”
“I know, babe, but they’re big fans of yours, and you love meeting your fans, don’t you?” He pats my cheek like I’m a child.
“Well, yeah, but I was hoping to spend time alone with you,” I tell him honestly.
“We’re together right now. And I’ll stay the night after dinner tomorrow. How ’bout that?” I had already assumed he would stay over after dinner, but apparently, that wasn’t a given.
“Alright,” I concede. There’s no point in arguing with him. I know he’s already invited them. If he told them now that they couldn’t come, they would know it was because of me, and I would look like the bitch.
My phone pings, giving me a reason to look away from Thompson.
Brayden: Did U listen to the podcast ep?
Calla: Yes
Brayden: If anyone asks U about it, just smile and say something like: We’re happy and not in a rush.
Calla: Got it
We pull up to the red carpet, and Thompson makes me switch places with him in the backseat of the SUV so he can get out first. I’m not sure if it’s because he wants to help me get out of the car or just so that people see him first. The sinking feeling in my gut tells me it’s the latter.
Luke is right there when I step out and follows closely behind us until we’re in the middle of the red carpet and he’s forced over to the side so the cameras can get pictures of me and Thompson.
Thompson wraps his arm around my waist and pulls me close. He looks down at me, and I look up at him, and for a moment, it’s just the two of us in our own world. The world where he loves me more than anything and we share our hopes and dreams for the future. I smile at him because I’m happy in this world. Unfortunately, that world isn’t real anymore and exists entirely in my head.
When the cameras flash, I’m pulled back into my current reality where he doesn’t want to marry me and our future looks blurrier than it ever has. I’m questioning daily if he even loves me any more or if I’m hanging on to something that isn’t there. My smile now is forced. I must not hide it well because his fingers press into my waist a little harder, and his eyes widen ever so slightly as if to tell me to knock it off.
We’re ushered along the carpet, and I wave at fans and sign a few autographs while Thompson gives interviews about his movie.
When we’re seated in the theater, he spends more time talking to his costar on the other side of him than he does to me. But I still hold his hand the whole time, and when it’s over, I congratulate and kiss him.
Because that’s what’s expected of me.
Exclusive: Sledge doesn’t want to marry James ? —
Is Hollywood’s It Couple on the Outs?
Sledge and James appear happier than ever at Sledge’s movie premiere