17. Calla
SEVENTEEN
CALLA
The silence is what scares me the most.
Ashley always has something to say, especially when she’s mad at me.
She looks from my hair to the exposed tattoo on my arm to Luke, who’s standing—broody and silent—next to me like he’s getting inspected by a military general instead of a twenty-something woman with an iPad and a power trip.
She turns without a word and walks onto the bus, leaving Luke and me confused outside the bus doors.
Luke sighs and shakes his head before gesturing for me to go in first. I climb the stairs and walk back to my bedroom. I’ve barely sat down on my bed when a video call lights up my phone. Brayden. Great.
“Hi Brayden. Miss me?” I ask when his face pops up.
“Calla,” he says uncomfortably calm. “Seems you had a busy night.”
“Um…”
“So far, I’ve gotten calls from Thompson and Ashley, and it’s not even eight. Wanna tell me why that is?”
Ugh, Thompson. I somehow managed to avoid him. I’m not sure when he left the hotel, but the room was empty when I sent Luke in to get my luggage.
“Well, I broke up with Thompson.”
He sighs and shakes his head. “Calla, you can’t just break up with him.”
“Why not? He’s an ass, and I don’t want to be with him anymore.”
“It doesn’t work that way, sweetheart.” I grind my teeth at his condescending tone.
“He cheated on me, Bray. I’m not staying with someone who doesn’t respect me.”
Another sigh. “Ok, so, is this why your hair is now pink?”
I shrug. “I met some new friends last night.”
“Mhmm. You were supposed to be in your hotel room last night.”
“I was, but I needed some air after my argument with Thompson.”
“By yourself?”
Here we go. “Yes, but it’s not Mr. Pierson’s fault. He was off duty, and I snuck out.”
Brayden squeezes the bridge of his nose. “Calla, we’re paying him and his company an exorbitant amount of money to keep you safe. He should be sleeping outside of your damn door.”
“I don’t need a constant bodyguard, so I made my own decision.”
“A fucking stupid one.”
“Yes, I’ve already been lectured. It won’t happen again.”
“No, it won’t. This is what we’re going to do. We’ll find two new protective agents for you to watch you at night and during the day.”
“That’s ridiculous, Brayden. Mr. Pierson is more than capable of watching me.”
“Obviously not, or you wouldn’t have been wandering the streets in the middle of the fucking night.”
“Please don’t take this out on him. It was my mistake, and it will not happen again.” I hate begging. I haaaate it. But I promised Luke he wouldn’t get fired, and this is the only way I can make that happen. “Please don’t do this, Brayden.”
There’s a pause while he studies my face through the phone. “You seem fond of this man.”
Too fond, but Brayden doesn’t need to know that. “He’s been doing a great job. Trust me, I’m barely allowed to go to the bathroom by myself. The only reason he even left me was because he thought I’d be with Thompson all night. He had no idea… how things would go.”
After an uncomfortably long pause, he says, “Fine. You can keep your bodyguard if…”
Oh, here we go.
“You stay with Thompson.”
“What?” Did he not just hear me say that Thompson was cheating on me? That I don’t want to be with someone like that?
“Calla James and Thompson Sledge are a brand. You’re on fire right now with the tour and your new album coming soon. He’s on track to be one of the hottest actors of his generation. If you break up now, at the height of your careers, it could ruin both of you.”
“I don’t care if it ruins me.” I truly cannot even imagine being in the same room as that asshole right now, let alone making people think I’m still in love with him.
“Then tell your bodyguard goodbye.”
I swallow. Fuck. How do I get out of this? I promised Luke that he wouldn’t get fired, and I don’t want him to leave.
“Brayden, there has to be something else.”
“You stay with Thompson, and you can keep Mr. Pierson. You don’t have to actually date him, alright? Just let the people think you’re together. Go to a few events. Act like you don’t absolutely hate him. It’ll be easy.”
I’m silent while I think about his proposal. I don’t want to do it. I want to cut ties with Thompson forever, but Luke is only with me for a few more months until the end of the tour, and then Talan comes back. Maybe once he goes back home, I can officially break it off with Thompson. I can handle a few more months, right? I’ll be on tour and only have a few scheduled events with Thompson. I can do that, can’t I?
“Fine, I’ll do it.”
Brayden’s face breaks out in a slow smile, a smile that tells me he knows he’s won. I’ve come to really hate this smile.
“Good girl. I knew you’d see reason. I’ll call Thompson and let him know so you don’t have to talk to him.”
Thompson must’ve called Brayden either last night or this morning. He has his own manager, but for some reason, he always seems to go to mine when he wants something. And I’m starting to think that Brayden is on everyone else’s side but mine.
“Great.”
We both hang up, and I toss my phone down. I grab my pillow and scream into it for longer than I should since my voice is kind of important, and screaming could damage my vocal cords.
Once the anger has fizzled, I collapse onto the bed and bury my head in the pillows. Since I’m alone, I let the tears slowly fall. I wonder if people would actually miss me if I was gone or if they would only be sad at the hit they’d take to their income without me. I hate feeling like this. I hate thinking these thoughts, but sometimes, when it feels like no one is on my side, they creep in. And I let them.
I don’t know how long I lay there before the sliding door to my room opens. I know it’s Luke without having to look.
“Are you alright?” he asks. I don’t roll over to face him. I don’t sit up. I just lay there, staring at nothing.
“Don’t worry. You get to keep your job,” I tell him.
He doesn’t move for a long time, but then I hear the door slide shut and feel the bed dip.
Luke slides in behind me, putting his warm body up against my backside. His tattooed arm wraps around my waist and pulls me even closer to him.
He’s holding me.
He’s holding me while I cry, and I think it might be the sweetest thing anyone has ever done for me.
“Do you like my tattoo?” I ask him with a shaky voice.
He huffs a laugh, and I feel his warm breath on the back of my neck. “Yeah, I do, princess.”
I smile even though he can’t see it.
“I like the pink hair, too.”
I relax in his arms, and his hand splays over my lower stomach. The tears don’t stop, though, and he doesn’t tell me to stop crying. He must understand that I need this.
Eventually, my swollen eyes start to shut. The warmth from his body envelopes me, and I drift off to sleep.
When I wake, I have no idea where I am, how long I’ve been out, or what state we’re in. What I do know is that Luke’s body is still wrapped around me. His breaths are shallow and soft, so I can only assume he’s asleep. I let myself wonder what it might be like to have a normal life where I get to take naps with my partner on the weekend. Where I get to eat pizza without someone making a snide remark about my weight. Where I can make decisions for myself.
I doubt I’ll ever have that, but a girl can dream.
Luke stirs behind me, and I hold my breath, hoping he doesn’t wake up and move away.
His hand moves slightly on my stomach, and his hips move against my backside. Is that…? Is he… hard?
“Baby?” his husky voice says as his hand moves down even lower.
Baby? Does he mean me? “Hmm?”
“Can I touch you?” Is he still sleeping? Am I still sleeping?
“What?” I whisper. One of his fingers dips below the waistband of my leggings.
“Can I touch you?” he repeats.
“Yes,” I breathe. I did say it out loud, right? Not just in my head? I think I’ve lost the ability to think.
He must’ve heard me because his hand drifts even lower into my pants, sliding his middle finger down my center. He rubs up and down before spreading me and inserting a finger inside me.
I gasp at the intrusion and arch into him.
I whisper his name, and he growls next to my ear. He pumps in and out a few times before he realizes that my leggings are too tight and I can’t spread my legs as wide as he wants.
He removes his hand from my pussy and sits up. He turns me onto my back and makes quick work of pulling my leggings down to my ankles. I don’t even have time to think about the fact that he’s seeing my pussy for the first time as he lies back down on his side next to me. He props himself up with one hand as his other hand makes its way back to my core.
“That’s better,” he says as he slides two fingers inside me.
He pumps his fingers as his palm rubs against my clit. It feels so fucking good. I can’t remember the last time I felt this good.
His fingers curl up, making my back arch off the bed as I cry out.
Luke nips at my earlobe. “You gotta be quiet, baby. Wouldn’t want Ashley walking in on this.” He says it so casually, as if he truly could not care less if someone, including Ashley, walked in on this, but he’s right. That would open a whole other can of worms that I don’t want to deal with today.
He pumps and curls and rubs over and over again until I feel like my body cannot go any higher. Then, what really does it for me is when he leans down and kisses me. On the lips. He kissed my neck the other day but never made it to my lips. In this moment, I realize how badly I wanted him to kiss me.
His lips are soft but forceful; he barely has to slide his tongue across my lips before I open for him, letting him in. His tongue slides against mine, and heat washes over my body. His fingers increase their pace until I feel myself clench around him.
My body tenses, and he pulls his lips away from mine so I can ride out my orgasm. He watches my face the whole time I come. Normally, I would be embarrassed and wonder what my face looked like, but Luke’s eyes are hooded, and he must like what he sees. He’s turned on by me, and that makes me come even harder.
“Luke,” I moan as I come down from my high.
“So fucking beautiful,” he says as he leans down and kisses me. He slowly pulls his fingers out of me, and I instantly wish it would’ve lasted longer.
His erection is pressed against my leg, long and hard and begging to be touched. I want to touch him. I reach for it, but he grabs my wrist, stopping me. “No, princess. This was for you.”
“But—”
He peppers quick kisses down my face and neck. “No buts. This was for you. You deserve to feel good.”
Realistically, I know that I deserve to feel good. And yes, I’ve come before, but it’s never been like this. Where it was all for me. Like I truly matter.
He reluctantly leaves my side, pulls my leggings back up, and snuggles back up behind me like he didn’t just make me see stars. We stay like that until I hear his stomach rumbling, and I force us both to climb out of bed and eat.
But later that night, when it’s time to turn in for the night, I quietly ask him if he’ll sleep next to me. He nods and follows me to my room. It’s the best night’s sleep I’ve had on the road in a long time.