Chapter Forty-three
Natalie hummed as she dressed and combed her hair after her long shower. The hot spray had massaged her tired shoulders and calmed her weary mind. She had so much on her mind lately, it was a miracle she could even still form the words to write when it came to her blogs and promoting products. But luckily, she’d been able to pull it off, enough to bring a paycheck or two so she could at least keep paying Vaughn rent. Vaughn had told her not to worry about it so much, but she did. She knew the ranch was still struggling even though business was picking up. It would be a while before things started to noticeably improve on the financial front, and in the meantime, she wanted to keep up her end of the bargain.
She didn’t know how much longer she’d be able to stay at the ranch, so she needed to make sure she paid her dues. Vaughn and June had helped her a lot in allowing her to stay and she wanted to do right by them. But doing so didn’t give her the answers she was seeking where Vaughn was concerned. She knew Vaughn didn’t want her to leave, but she couldn’t stay there forever. At some point she’d have to go, especially if Vaughn decided she didn’t want to pursue a relationship with her. It would just be too painful for her stay at that point, regardless of how much she loved the ranch and spending time with Vaughn and June. And then there was Allen. What was going to happen there? Detective Marks had told her he’d disappeared, but what did that mean for her?
Was he gone for good? Did he skip town? Was he finally in trouble for all his shady business dealings? Or worse, could he be coming for her?
“I’m being ridiculous. He wouldn’t come for me. Not with the cops looking so hard for him. It would be a crazy move.”
She switched off the bedroom light and walked into the kitchen to grab the box of vanilla tea from the cupboard. She wanted to make some for her and Vaughn tonight as they watched a movie together. It would pair nicely with the cinnamon rolls Vaughn had declared she wanted. Natalie had laughed, but agreed to make her some just as soon as she got back to the house. At least Vaughn was eating. And she hoped she’d eaten her dinner as well, but she wasn’t going to expect much there. Vaughn’s appetite had shrunk dramatically since she’d stopped doing all the physical work, and now, with her low moods, they were lucky to get her to eat at all.
Natalie reached for the tea and turned around, humming once again.
A soft knock came from the front door. She’d forgotten that she’d closed and locked it before her shower. It must be June wondering what was taking her so long. She walked to the door and unbolted it and opened it.
“Sorry, June, I—”
“Hello, Natalie,” Allen said, pointing a gun straight at her. He shoved her back inside before she even had a chance to let out a scream. When she tried, he struck her across the face and sent her sprawling.
“I wouldn’t make any noise if I was you.”
She touched her cheek where he’d hit her, the sting turning to a throb. She scrambled to get up, backing away from him, but not as afraid as she was angry. She stared at him, confused by his sloppy appearance. Allen, the man who had always prided himself on his dapper looks, was dressed in loose-fitting worn jeans, a fleece pullover, and dirty sneakers. His face was covered in a scruffy beard and his hair, which he usually wore slicked back with product, was longer and disheveled. Was this his disguise, or was something else going on? She guessed by the anger and rage she saw in his eyes, that it was the latter. He was losing his mind.
And now he had found her. This time, she knew, he would be merciless.
“Don’t,” she managed to say, “hit me again.”
He laughed and she glanced at the door behind him. He’d slammed it closed upon entry, but she usually left it open when she was in there working. Maybe June would notice. Maybe Vaughn would too if she grew worried about her. But the thought scared her more than comforted her. She didn’t want them exposed to Allen. He looked maniacal and he had a gun.
He followed her line of sight. “You opened the door for me, Natalie. Was that an invitation? I took it as one.”
He staggered as he followed her. She’d taken refuge behind the table, trying to get something between them. But the table, she knew, wouldn’t save her from a bullet. He swayed as he blinked watery eyes at her, the gun wavering as if it were too heavy for him.
He appeared to be drunk.
He yanked out a chair and collapsed into it. Then, with the gun in hand, he pointed at the chair in front of her. “Sit,” he demanded.
She thought briefly about making a beeline for the door, but he’d shoot her as she ran. She needed another plan. Slowly, she sat.
“Allen,” she tried.
“Shut up.”
“You don’t want to do this.”
“Don’t I though? Natalie, baby, this is all I want to do.”
“That can’t be true. You have—”
“I have nothing!” Spittle flew from his mouth. “And it’s all because of you.”
A ball of fire settled behind her sternum. He was drunk, nearly falling down drunk, and he was angry. Not a good combination. Add the gun and she was in serious trouble. She searched for the right words. She had to stall him. Had to keep him talking.
He blinked slowly and set the gun on the table.
“I’m sorry,” she tried, thinking quickly. “I didn’t mean to cause you any trouble.”
He chuckled. Slapped his leg and roared with laughter. “Trouble? That’s all you’ve given me, Natalie. And after I gave you everything .” He smacked the table. “ Everything! ”
He seemed to have exhausted himself because he quieted and spun the gun around on the tabletop with his finger.
“I know,” she said. “And I ruined it. I wasn’t…appreciative.”
“No. You weren’t. You—you’re nothing, Natalie. Nothing. I was all you had.”
She fought back her rising anger. She’d heard the words before. Too many times and not just from him. Well, she no longer believed them.
“You’re wrong,” she said, unable to hold her tongue. “All of you are wrong.”
He stopped spinning the gun and looked at her closely. “What did you say?”
“I said, you’re wrong, Allen. I am something. I am worthy. And I am so much better without you.”
He lifted the gun again but seemed to have trouble holding it up. He blinked as if trying to maintain focus.
“Go ahead,” she said, thinking of all the times she’d been told she was nothing, thinking of all the neglect and emotional abuse she’d suffered at the hands of her derelict foster parents. Then she thought of all the times she felt totally alone. She’d had no one. Not a soul. But she’d survived. And she’d survive now. On her own. With good, kind people who cared about in her life for moral support. She didn’t need Allen or anyone. She wanted Vaughn. There was a difference. But if Vaughn didn’t want her, that was okay too. She’d move on. She’d find peace. Rebuild her life all over again.
“Do it,” she said, feeling fearless for the first time in her life. “Shoot me. Because I’d rather be dead than be with you.”
He grinned, but it fell away quickly. His glossy eyes hardened. “Don’t tempt me, Natalie.”
“Don’t tell me what to do.”
“What, did you finally grow some balls?”
“No, Allen. I finally grew some ovaries. And I’m ready to go to hell and back to fight you now.”
“So, it’s true. You’ve been shacking up with that woman and she’s toughened you up, turned you all dyke on me.”
“Not that it’s any of your business, but I haven’t been shacking up with anyone. This is me. All me.”
“Bullshit,” he slurred. “You left me for her. You’re a fucking dyke. No wonder why you were always so difficult. So fucking frigid.”
“No, Allen, that was all you.”
He lunged, like he was going to go for her. She startled but remained seated, heart hammering. She kept talking, driving the daggers home.
“I left you because of you. You were sadistic and abusive and the worst human being I’ve ever known. And I left this time because you were harassing me, threatening me, and having me followed. None of it has to do with anyone else. It’s all you. So, for once in your life take some responsibility.”
With that, she stood, slowly and carefully, and walked to the door. Her heart careened in her chest and she felt like she might pass out, but she kept putting one foot in front of the other. Allen screamed at her and she heard his chair scrape across the tile as he stood to come after her. His cries for her to stop grew closer but she didn’t. She reached the door and grabbed the handle and turned to pull it open.
There, on the front stoop, was Vaughn, looking as pale as ever and thoroughly concerned as her gaze moved beyond Natalie to Allen behind her. Then, as her eyes widened, a shot rang out and Natalie felt a jolt. She looked down at her hands, to her abdomen and saw blood. She looked back up at Vaughn’s horrified face and fell to the floor.