Chapter 8 Aurelia
Aurelia
My anxiety was through the roof, and if I didn’t get it under control, I was worried how it would affect our baby. The only time I felt a sense of calm was when I was at work—because I knew Constantine wouldn’t be there. Wouldn’t be able to ask me what was wrong.
I didn’t want to lie or evade his questions anymore, but I was scared as hell to tell him the truth. I took a few more pregnancy tests as time went on, just to be sure it wasn’t a false positive, but they all said the same thing and my period never came . . . so this was real.
Fuck, I was gonna have a baby.
I’d known Constantine for less than three months, and he was in a depression so deep that I feared this news would just launch him into a spiral. He’d given up his entire life for me, and he was struggling to adjust. If he found out he was going to be a father too, it might push him over the edge.
He might think I did it on purpose, and he wouldn’t trust me ever again. I’d never skipped a pill and I’d been on the same contraceptive for years and years, so I couldn’t believe it failed me.
But if it was gonna fail, thank god it was with Constantine.
What if it had been with Enzo . . . fuck that.
I worked in the kitchen through the morning, thinking about all those things incessantly, feeling plunges of anxiety in my stomach and then tremors in my fingertips.
I had to tell Constantine soon because I couldn’t carry this lie much longer.
And I couldn’t carry this truth alone—because I was fucking terrified.
Terrified to be a mom when I wasn’t ready.
Scared that I would have to do it alone, the way my mother had to.
Scared to push a baby out of my vagina and not die.
Scared of everything.
There was only one man I’d ever met who made me feel safe, but I was even afraid to tell him.
Once everything was prepped for the day and we opened our doors, I headed to the other side of the building where the main restaurant was located.
People came in for lunch, and I seated them at tables and took their orders.
Waitressing was a lot easier than prepping in the morning because I got to write everything down and give it to one of the cooks to prepare.
The rest of the time, I just tried to stay busy.
The lunch rush ended and the tables cleared out, so I wiped them down for the dinner crew that came in before five. We were open for another forty-five minutes, but people hardly ever came in for lunch past one.
But then the door opened, and Constantine walked inside.
Dressed in a black T-shirt and dark jeans, he helped himself to one of the tables—with the biggest smile on his face.
“Hey, sweetheart.” A six-foot-five, tremendous hunk with arms that nearly split his sleeves, he was the juiciest piece of man meat ever.
I was a little taken aback by the sight of him, particularly his mood.
I’d gone to bed last night and pretended to be asleep when he came in.
So we didn’t talk, and I left earlier than usual this morning and took a cab to work.
This was our first interaction since that tense conversation over dinner, but it was as if it had never happened.
“Hey.” I approached the table, unsure what I missed, why he was a whole different person, but I didn’t dare ask. “What are you doing here?”
“I was in town and decided to stop by for lunch.” He dropped his arm over the other chair, completely relaxed, like he didn’t have a care in the world. “And I thought I could watch your ass shake while you hustle.”
I was still shocked by all of this. It took me a couple seconds to accept this reality. When I’d first seen him, I felt that jolt of anxiety, like he was here to confront me about last night. But that didn’t seem like his intention.
“Come here.” His hand moved to my hip, and he guided me to his lap.
“I’m at work—”
He slid his hand into my hair and kissed me, kissed me like we were at home with no one around. Like he didn’t give a damn if anyone saw us.
The second I felt the command of his mouth and the softness of his kiss, I lost all restraint. I didn’t care if his own mother walked in and saw us together, my ass on his lap in the middle of the restaurant.
When he pulled away, he gently brushed his nose against mine before he kissed the corner of my mouth. “All right, now you can get back to work.” His grin was big, beautiful, and infectious. It brought a twinkle to his eyes, a warmth hotter than the Sicilian sun.
I got off his lap and felt his big hand give my ass a playful smack.
“I’ll take the Palermo-style cutlet,” he said. “And a glass of red wine.”
“Sure thing.”
He winked at me. “Attagirl.”
I turned away and headed back to the kitchen to put in the order, but I felt his eyes drill into my back, hot and possessive, like we’d just met all over again. I glanced over my shoulder and saw exactly what I predicted—but there was also a smile.
I got him a glass of wine and returned to the table.
He kicked out the chair across from him. “Sit.”
“Well, I’m at work.”
“Doing what, exactly?” He looked around the dining room. “No one’s here, all the tables are clean. Now sit that fine ass down.”
“Fine ass, huh?” In a couple months, my fine ass would be a big ass. I took a seat across from him and crossed my legs, my arms on the table.
He took a drink of his wine and relaxed in the chair.
“Constantine!” Antonio shouted from the kitchen. “I’m making this for you?”
“Yeah, and it better be damn good,” Constantine yelled back.
“Only the best for you, man.”
“That’s what I like to hear.” He turned back to me, still smiling like it was permanently carved into his face.
“You’re fucking beautiful, you know that?
” He cocked his head slightly as he looked at me, his smile slowly fading from his mouth but remaining in his gaze, looking at me like he’d never really looked at me before.
“Okay, what’s gotten into you?”
“Gotten into me?” he asked, eyebrows cocked.
I should probably have just left it alone, but now I needed to know why he’d woken this morning in a whole different mode. “Last night was rough, and now . . . it’s like it never happened.”
He gave a shrug. “Guess I remembered what I have, and how lucky I am to be here with you. That there’s so much more to life, and I’m excited to live it—with you.
” Affection and happiness still burned in his gaze, a shadow of a smile on his lips.
“I’m here to talk whenever you’re ready.
But no rush. Take all the time you need. ”
Another burst of adrenaline filled me, but it dissipated quickly when he removed the pressure. It seemed like he was done asking me about it. Finally gave me the space to decide how and when I would tell him the truth . . . that I was pregnant.
The bell in the kitchen rang, so I headed into the back to retrieve his lunch. A breaded piece of chicken with a side of pasta. I returned to the table and placed it in front of him before I sat down.
He dug into it right away, then called into the back. “Thanks, Antonio.”
“You got it, Con.”
He cut into the meat, took big bites, and smiled at me with his eyes while he continued to eat—the happiest I’d ever seen him. Last night, he’d confessed how lost he was, but now, he’d never looked more sure of himself.
My mind continued to question it, but I decided to let it go.
I always took a shower when I got home from work. I wore a shower cap to protect my hair, but I washed away the smell of tomatoes, eggplant, and fried rice balls. There were worse things to smell like, but I didn’t want to stink up the beautiful house.
I walked out of the bathroom in just my towel and found him on the bed—completely naked. And he was hard as hell. Like just thinking about what he wanted to do to me was enough to make his balls turn blue.
I stilled, feeling like prey that had been caught walking through the grass by an enormous lion.
He didn’t pat the bed or order me to come to him. He left the bed, rose to his full six and a half feet, and then came behind me, gone from my view. His hand reached for the towel that covered me, and he tugged the edge where it was tucked in to make it come free.
It fell to the floor at my feet, and I felt the bumps form on my arms.
He hooked one arm over my chest while the other moved over my stomach. He gently tugged me into him and kissed my neck and then my shoulder, kissing me but doing it in a way that felt like he was eating me alive.
Then he moved in front of me and took a knee, his eyes level with my tits because of how tall he was.
He hooked one of my legs over his shoulder then brought me close, pressing kisses to my stomach and licking my belly button ring that I hadn’t taken out yet.
My stomach was still flat because I wasn’t more than a month pregnant, and there was no way he or anyone else could tell.
And when I’d had my period, our sex lives hadn’t changed because he didn’t care about the bleeding.
He probably didn’t notice that it hadn’t come this month.
So I wasn’t afraid he would figure it out for a while.
I had at least another month before it might catch his attention.
He kissed my hips before he lifted me slightly and pressed a kiss to my entrance.
I hadn’t shaved in the last two weeks because I’d been too overwhelmed by the news, but he kissed me like he couldn’t care less I wasn’t groomed.
He devoured me harder than he devoured my mouth, balancing me above him while his big hands gripped me like he couldn’t squeeze me hard enough.
I dug my hand into his short hair, and I got swept up in his touch, in the fact that this gorgeous man was on his knees for me, that he wanted me when he could have anyone else he wanted.