Chapter 13 Constantine
Constantine
When I came home from Palermo, I took a shower to wash off the smell of smoke and perfume—like a scumbag who’d just had an affair. I knew I had to tell Aurelia what happened, but I wasn’t in the mood to do it today. Too much bullshit had happened in eight hours, and I was dead tired.
I was downstairs with Medusa on the couch when Aurelia came home from work. She was in a much better mood than when she’d left that morning, so Isabella obviously hadn’t stopped by after I’d yelled at her.
She put her purse on the counter. “Hey.”
Medusa walked down the ramp off the couch and headed over to her, just the way she did with me. Aurelia had been a stranger to her just a few months ago, but she accepted her as part of the family unconditionally. And Medusa didn’t like just anybody. She had great instincts when it came to people.
Aurelia smothered her in affection and attention before she turned to me. “How was your day?”
I came over to her in nothing but my sweatpants, ready for bed when it wasn’t even four in the afternoon yet. “Pretty shitty.” My arm circled her lower back, and I pulled her in for a quick kiss.
“How’d it go with Isabella?”
“I screamed at her . . . a lot.”
“Con . . .”
“Probably took it too far, honestly. But I don’t feel bad about it. She had it coming.”
“I don’t know if that’s actually productive.”
“I think calling someone on their bullshit is more productive than you realize. The effects may not be immediate, but they’re like seeds that slowly grow after they’ve been planted. Told her that if the bullshit continues, then I’m not afraid to cut her out of my life. I think she got the message.”
“Are you okay?” she asked.
“I told her the reason I couldn’t forgive her was because I resented her for everything that happened with my brother. Told her it was wrong, and that’s on me. But it was nice to get it off my chest.”
“I thought you said that to her already?”
“Not quite as explicitly, though. We didn’t leave on a good note or a bad note. And maybe that neutrality is a good thing.”
She started to rub my arm, the touch of her fingertips so subtle but loving at the same time. “Why don’t you go out with your friends tonight? Get some drinks and blow off some steam?”
“Why would I want to do that when I can be home with you?”
Her eyes deepened in affection before a gentle smile shone through. “That’s sweet. But I can tell you’ve had a long day. Might be nice to do something fun.”
“Then come with us.”
“It’s okay, Constantine. We don’t have to do everything together.”
“I know we don’t. But I’d like to.”
She moved past me and pressed a kiss to my chest on the way. “I’ll be fine. It’s not like I can drink anyway.”
I sent a group text to the boys to meet me at Daiquiri, and Antonio was the first one to arrive. I’d already had two drinks since I got there, needing the booze to take the edge off the shit day I’d had.
Antonio clapped my hand in his when he got there and took a seat. “Still drunk from the wedding?” he teased.
“That hangover was the worst, man.”
He chuckled before he looked at the menu. “Aurelia still around?”
“Yeah. Good thing I didn’t throw up.”
“That you remember . . .” He waved for the waiter’s attention and ordered his drink. “Why isn’t Aurelia here?”
“She told me to go out without her. She can’t drink anymore, so I kinda feel bad doing it around her.”
“Yeah, I get that.”
“I also had a day from hell.”
“Isabella?” he asked.
“Yeah, how’d you know?”
“Beatrice told me. She heard the two of them going at it in the restaurant.”
“And she didn’t do anything?” I asked, mildly hurt.
He shrugged.
Why did my mother understand loyalty so well, but my sister was oblivious to it?
“To be fair, Beatrice said Isabella was a little over the top.”
But my sister didn’t do anything, and that’s what mattered. “That’s actually not on my mind. I went to Palermo today to talk to Tommaso.” I told him the whole thing and the shitty predicament I’d gotten caught in.
“Is she cute?”
I shot him a glare.
“I mean for someone else . . . or maybe me.”
I continued the glare.
“All right, never mind.”
“He forced me to keep my end of the deal, and I feel like shit about the whole thing.”
“Why?”
“Because it was inappropriate. I shouldn’t have been there.”
“But you didn’t want to be there. You just did your time and left. You really think Aurelia will be mad about that? You’re like the most loyal guy on the planet.”
“I don’t think I’ll lose her or anything, but she might be a bit ticked.”
“If she’s so reasonable about Isabella, I really doubt she’ll be unreasonable about this.”
“Yeah, fair point.”
“I wouldn’t worry about it. I mean, you don’t even need to tell her since there isn’t much to tell.”
“No, I’ll tell her.” If it was something I wanted to hide, then that meant I needed to come clean.
I preferred honesty and full transparency.
I was an honest person because it was the right way to be, but I also couldn’t handle the guilt of deceit.
So my honesty didn’t come from strength .
. . but weakness. “Just not today. I’m so fucking tired.
” I sank into the chair and took a drink.
“Yeah, that’s fair.” Antonio looked toward the stairs. “Francesco and Aldo are here.”
“Great, let’s get the party started.”
We sat together for an hour or two, ordering more drinks and eating the appetizers they continued to bring out. Being with the boys made me forget all the bullshit that happened that day, so I finally let it go.
The guys shot the shit about some of the girls they were talking to, we argued about football for a while, talked about heading to the beach next weekend to jump off the cliffs. I’d been jumping from the rock since I was a boy, and it was the first time I felt hesitant to do it.
Because people depended on me.
Aurelia, Medusa, and now someone I hadn’t met yet.
My whole perspective on life had changed ever since Aurelia told me about the little one growing inside her. Everything was easier but also more complicated. My life seemed to have more value, not because of my importance, but because of the impending responsibility of fatherhood.
“Oh no . . .” Antonio’s eyes followed someone who’d stepped onto the terrace.
That caught my attention, so I followed his gaze.
Isabella had appeared on the terrace with some of her friends, my sister among them.
All in dresses and flats. It seemed to be a girls’ night out.
I never cared about Beatrice maintaining her friendship with Isabella, but now I was ticked that she couldn’t even bother to try with the woman I was going to marry because of some misplaced loyalty.
“Con can’t catch a break, can he?” Francesco said.
I grabbed my glass and finished my drink.
“I’m sure they’re gathered to talk about what happened this morning.
” And I would probably look like the asshole—and so would Aurelia.
Because nothing we did made any fucking difference.
“Let’s bounce before she sees me.” I got the attention of the waitress and motioned her over.
“Too late,” Antonio said as he quickly looked back at our table. “Yeah, she definitely saw you.”
“Then let’s find another spot.” I kept my focus away from Isabella’s direction, trying to blend into the background, praying that she didn’t want to revisit our previous conversation because she had too many drinks.
I continued to wait for the waitress to bring the tab, but it felt like a fucking lifetime.
“She keeps looking,” Francesco said.
“Then stop giving her something to look at,” I said quietly. I couldn’t believe I was in my fucking thirties but my life still felt like a teenage soap opera.
The waitress finally came over with the tab on a tray.
The guys pulled out their wallets to split the bill, but I threw my card into the tray. “Put it all on this.”
She could tell I was in a hurry, so she left again.
“I’ll get the next round,” Antonio said.
“You know I don’t give a shit. I just want to get out of here.”
The waitress took the tab to the stand to process it.
Fuck, I wished I had cash.
I rubbed my palms together as we waited. No one made conversation, all anxious to leave so I’d be myself again.
She finally came back, and I signed the check and we got to our feet. “Just head for the stairs and don’t look.”
“All right,” Francesco said.
The four of us beelined for the exit to get the fuck out of there. There was a set of stairs and then a platform halfway up. Once we made it to the main street, we’d be free of the dilemma.
But I only made it halfway up before I heard her voice from behind me.
“Con?”
Jesus fucking Christ, why is this happening to me?
The guys stopped on the stairs to look at me.
“Can’t talk, Issy,” I said as normally as I could. “We’re meeting some people.”
The guys made it to the street and turned back to me.
But Isabella caught up to me on the platform halfway. “Wait, wait.” She grabbed me by the forearm.
I spun out of that touch so fast. “I think we’ve talked enough for the day.”
The guys turned the corner to give us our privacy.
I’d gone out with the guys to let off some steam, but now I was in a secluded alleyway with my ex, a position I didn’t want to be in, while my pregnant woman was at home waiting for me. I felt like a dick just for being there.
Issy had this glaze to her eyes, like she was already drunk before she’d even arrived at the cocktail lounge. “Con, I’m sorry about all of this. I told Beatrice to make more of an effort with . . . her.”
She should have wanted to do that on her own, and the fact that she didn’t pissed me off even more. Made me angry at both of them. “I’ve gotta go, Issy.”
“Wait.” She reached for my arm again.
This time, I made sure I was out of her reach. “What?”
“Why are you so angry right now?”