Chapter 17
“Aiden,” Dr. Claudia says gently, “how did your father leaving shape you?”
His eyes shift to the floor. “It didn’t shape me. I just… I went from following him around everywhere to becoming the man of the house.”
“And what did being the man of the house mean to you?” she asks.
He lifts his chin, voice firm. “It meant staying. Even when things got hard. Especially then. I stayed.”
I stare at him, my voice flat. “Staying doesn’t mean everything anymore.”
His head jerks toward me. “Why not?”
“Because you screwed a fucking stripper,” I say. The words fall cold between us. “You’re no longer the man who stayed. You’re just another cheater with a sob story. Another guy who thinks working hard earns him a free pass to skip the rest. You’ve become what I hate. Just like my dad.”
His mouth opens, but he doesn’t say anything.
Dr. Claudia watches us both. “Kate, how is Aiden the same as your father?”
I draw in a breath. “My father used work as an excuse too. To avoid being around me. He made time when it was for my siblings, but when it was my turn? Always too busy. Too tired.”
“I spend time with the boys,” Aiden says quickly, defensively.
I meet his eyes. “I mean me, Aiden. Me. You don’t spend time with me. We have sex, yes. But beyond that? You don’t talk to me. You don’t ask me how I’m doing. You don’t seem to want to know me anymore.”
A long silence follows.
Dr. Claudia turns to him. “Aiden, do you have anything to say to that?”
He exhales, finally letting his shoulders fall. “I didn’t realize.” I can feel him staring at me. “I just…” Aiden’s voice trails off.
Dr. Claudia prompts him gently. “Yes?”
He swallows, then speaks slowly. “I was so busy trying to make sure the boys knew I was there. I worked so hard. I wanted to build up their college funds, to be someone they could be proud of. I thought that was the most important thing. I didn’t realize I was missing everything else.”
He shifts on the couch to face me. “When you told me you were pregnant, my first thought was that I had to step up. I couldn’t let you or our baby down.
I remember thinking about quitting school, finding a full-time job, and pushing college off for a year.
But somehow, you convinced me to keep going.
And then, when you got pregnant with Alex less than a year after Jack, I picked up a job, just nights and weekends at first. Suddenly I was trying to manage everything, trying to be everything.
School, work, providing for a growing family.
I kept telling myself that if I just worked hard enough, if I kept my head down and stayed focused, everything would fall into place.
But somewhere in all that... I lost sight of the rest. I forgot what really mattered. ”
“You had a job?” I say quietly.
He nods, his expression full of regret. “We had your trust fund, yes, but babies are expensive. Even though you delivered in the emergency room, we still got charged for the private suite. And I wanted to make sure you and the baby had everything. I didn’t want you to want for anything.
I didn’t wanna stress you out, you were already juggling two kids and your own education. ”
I blink, the memory creeping in. When I got pregnant with Alex, I handed over control of my trust fund to Aiden without a second thought. I was too overwhelmed once Jack was born to care about money.
“I had no idea,” I say slowly. “Is that why you barely came home after Alex was born?”
He nods. “That. And… every time I did come home, it felt like I was in the way. Like you didn’t really want me around. So I picked up a weekend job. And nights. Just stayed away.”
“I didn’t…” I trail off, staring at the space between us.
“When you left for college, people started warning me. They said college changes boys. That they meet new people. Different kinds of people. That I should stop complaining. That I shouldn’t be a nag.
That I needed to make home feel good so you’d want to come back. ”
I take a shaky breath. “So, I stopped telling you the bad stuff. I stopped asking you to help on your days off. I tried to make everything easy for you.”
He looks up sharply. “Wait. Who said that? About my days off?”
“What?” I blink at the sudden edge in his voice.
He presses, firmer now. “Who told you I needed rest on my days off? That you shouldn’t burden me?”
I say nothing.
His mouth tightens. “It was my mom, wasn’t it?”
I don’t answer.
He exhales, rubbing the back of his neck. “God. I remember… when you started pulling away, I went to her. I asked her how to talk to you, how to reach you. She told me it was normal. That you were just nesting. That I should give you space. Let you handle it.”
He looks away. “I thought I was doing the right thing.”
I finally say what I should have said years ago. “I thought you were tired of me. Of us. I know what everyone thought when I got pregnant again so soon after Jack. I heard the whispers. I felt the stares.”
This time, when he reaches for my hand, I don’t pull away.
He squeezes gently. “When will you understand that I love you? That I would never leave you. Or the boys. You’re not a burden, Kate. You never were. And if I remember correctly,” he tries a small smile, “I was the genius who said you couldn’t get pregnant while breastfeeding.”
I let out a shaky breath, half a laugh, half a sigh. The truth is, I remember that moment too. I remember believing him. Trusting him. Back when everything still felt new and possible.
Dr. Claudia waits, letting the silence stretch just long enough to allow the weight of what was said to settle. Then softly, she says, “There’s a lot of history between you both. Pain, yes. But also love. That much is clear.”
She looks between us.
“Aiden, what you said just now, ‘I thought I was doing the right thing,’ that’s a belief many partners carry. But doing the ‘right thing’ on paper doesn’t always meet the emotional needs of a relationship. Providing is important, but presence is more than physical.”
Then her gaze shifts to me.
“And Kate, when you said you thought he was tired of you… that’s a story you’ve carried alone for years. That kind of silence is heavy. It distorts everything, even the love that’s still there.”
She leans forward just slightly. “This isn’t about blame anymore. It’s about learning how to speak the truth before the resentment takes root. You’re both doing that now, maybe for the first time in a long time.”
Then, gently: “How does it feel to finally say these things out loud?”
Aiden shifts beside me, rubbing the back of his neck. “It’s… a lot. I didn’t know she felt that way. That I made her feel that way.” He looks at me, eyes soft but unsure. “I thought I was showing up. I thought working hard meant I was loving her right.”
I keep my gaze low, focusing on the grain in the couch cushion. “And I thought keeping quiet was the only way to keep you. I didn’t want to be the needy wife. The one who nags or complains. I kept thinking if I just made things easier for you, you’d want to come home more.”
Dr. Claudia’s voice is calm. “It sounds like both of you were trying to protect each other, in very different ways. And in doing that, you stopped sharing what you really needed.”
I nod slowly. “I think I stopped needing anything. Or I pretended I didn’t. I just focused on the boys.”
Aiden’s voice cracks slightly. “I didn’t know. I wish I’d known.”
Dr. Claudia doesn’t interrupt the moment. She lets the silence hold again, then says gently, “That’s the grief of it, isn’t it? What wasn’t said. What wasn’t asked. But the fact that you’re saying it now means it isn’t too late. Unless you choose for it to be.”
She leans forward just a little more. “So, what do you each need now? Right now. In this moment.”
I glance at Aiden, then back at Dr. Claudia.
“I don’t want to be a married single parent,” I say quietly.
“Even when we were still living under the same roof, it felt like I was doing it alone. I don’t want that anymore.
I need a partner. Not someone who drops in when it’s convenient.
I need to know I’m not carrying this whole thing by myself. ”
Aiden shifts again on the couch, but this time his voice is low and clearer. “I need you to be honest with me. Not just when it’s too late. Not when you’re already halfway out the door or when you’re exploding. I need you to trust me enough to say the hard stuff before it turns into silence.”
I nod, slowly, and the room fills with a heavy stillness. Not angry. Not soft either. Just full.
Dr. Claudia closes her notebook. “Okay,” she says, “I’m going to give the two of you some homework.” She offers a faint smile. “Go on a date.”
I blink. “With each other?”
“Yes,” she replies, “but there are rules. You cannot talk about the boys. And you cannot talk about therapy or anything relating to it.”
Aiden looks just as caught off guard as I feel. “What are we supposed to talk about then?” I ask.
“Yourselves,” she says simply. “Not the parents. Not the spouses. Just Kate and Aiden. You need to remember who you are to each other, not just who you are to everyone else.”
Aiden nods slowly, the weight of that sinking in.
“And one more thing,” Dr. Claudia adds. “No sex.”
My eyebrows lift. “What?”
She doesn’t flinch. “Sexual intimacy can blur things. I want you to see each other clearly. This isn’t about fixing anything with touch. It’s about connection. Start there.”
Aiden lets out a soft laugh through his nose. Not mocking. More surprised than anything. I glance down at my hands, then over at him.
He’s already looking at me.
We both nod.
“Have you ever given birth?” I ask her.
She shakes her head.
“Well, it’s terrifying. Not just the pain. The fear. The way everything feels like it’s falling apart. And the vulnerability of it. I expected Aiden to be there. I needed him to be there. When he didn’t show, even though he had a reason, something in me just shut down.”
I take a slow breath.
“After that, I stopped telling Aiden the hard things. I didn’t want to give him more reasons to stay away. I started trying to only give him the good stuff. I wanted him to come home to peace. I didn’t want to scare him off.”
I turn to him.
“I know you didn’t ask me to do that. But I was so scared you would leave us. I was terrified I wasn’t enough on my own. So, I handled everything. I took the mess and the chaos and all the dirty, exhausting parts. And I never stopped.”
He says, “”
His voice is firm, but it doesn’t come from anger. It sounds tired. Worn down, like he’s said it too many times before and still thinks maybe this time I’ll believe it.
Dr. Claudia closes her notebook. “Okay,” she says, “I’m going to give the two of you some homework.”
I straighten slightly, unsure what that means.
She smiles, just a little. “Go on a date.”
I glance at Aiden, who looks just as caught off guard.
“With each other,” she adds. “But there are rules. You cannot talk about the boys. And you cannot talk about therapy or anything relating to it.”
I blink. “What are we supposed to talk about then?”
“Yourselves. Learn about each other again. Outside of your roles as parents. Just Kate and Aiden.”
Aiden nods slowly, taking it in.
Dr. Claudia leans back slightly. “And one more thing. No sex.”
I raise my eyebrows. “What?”
She doesn’t blink. “Sexual relations can muddle things. You need to see each other clearly. This isn’t about fixing anything with touch. It’s about connection. Start there.”
Aiden lets out a soft laugh through his nose. Not mocking. More surprised.
I look down at my hands and then over at him. He’s already looking at me. We both nod. Small. Quiet. But maybe that’s something.