Chapter 40
Olivia
Now
It’s Saturday, which means Teddy doesn’t have school.
He’s so excited to be at Celia’s and everyone is greedy to spend time with him.
He helps Bobby refill the water and the syrup tanks for the soda gun.
He greets customers at the door with Debra.
Steven takes him for a walk around the block on his lunch break, and they come back with sliders from Harry’s.
He’s downstairs with Paula for hours learning how to ice flowers onto an ube cake that reminds me of the one she made for my birthday years ago.
And I can’t lie, I want a piece of him too.
I think he notices because an hour before closing, I look to my left and find him a few feet away, staring up at me.
“Hi, Theodore,” I say. “Are you having fun?”
He nods but he looks like he’s in serious need of a nap, so I ask him if he wants the milk carton again.
He happily sits down, then scoots it closer to me.
That he’s comfortable enough to do that makes my eyes sting a little.
I’m definitely getting my period any day now.
While I cook, he tells me about his favorite things to watch on his tablet: kids doing extreme sports and horror flicks.
I’m not too surprised. Sounds like more of Celia’s influence.
After a few minutes, I feel Carmello staring from across the room. This time, he smiles at me. My face warms at the idea that he was watching his girlfriend bond with his son.
When Vero comes into the kitchen to tickle Teddy and give him a pop quiz on reef sharks, he shows her a picture of him and One Piece on his tablet screen, and I sneak a peek at it. The two cuties are wearing baseball caps and Carmello’s sunglasses.
“That big gray beast doesn’t know his own body weight, almost put me in the hospital, knocking me over the other day,” Vero says. The timing of the incident makes something chime in my brain.
“I can’t believe I still haven’t met One Piece after all these weeks,” I say.
I didn’t realize Teddy would jump on that. “You can see him today. We walk him when we leave here.” He stands up from the milk carton and calls over to his dad: “Can Olivy come?”
Veronica tenses beside me, but I can’t pay attention to that because I think I just got nicknamed by Carmello’s son, and whatever weirdness I felt about not getting to meet One Piece yet disappears when Carmello gives me a sheepish smile. “Did you ask her if she wants to?”
Teddy looks up at me with those Carmello-shaped eyes, but unlike his father, he has a way easier time asking for what he wants. “She definitely wants to, right, Olivy?”
I smile at the mangled words coming from that adorable voice and say, “I sure do. Should we make One Piece a homemade treat before we go?”
Teddy’s face lights up. “He loves bacon and French toast.”
I’m about to say I could go for some myself, but Veronica clears her throat. “Can I talk to you for a second, Olivy?”
***
She pulls me into the bathroom and shuts the door behind me.
When we were young, she’d come to Celia’s after school sometimes just to gossip in here with me.
“I told you to be careful with his heart, Olive,” she says, and I’m relieved she got straight to the point.
“But trying to jump right into stepmommy activities doesn’t seem careful. Not for him or for Teddy.”
“Oh,” I say. “News gets out about me and Carmello and now you’re talking to me?”
Her face twists up and I feel like a teenager again. We rarely fought back then but when we did we both could be pretty petty. “I have been talking to you.”
“That ‘table nine wants extra aioli’ doesn’t count,” I say.
“I’ve just been…busy figuring shit out with my boyfriend after the trial date night,” she says.
“And before then?” I ask. “Because when I first got here, I thought we were good, but you’ve been distant ever since we danced by the pedestrian bridge.
A little weird even before that. And I know you have other friends, but I’m not sure if the only reason I have other friends here now too is because you said you forgave me for leaving but you really didn’t. ”
She sighs and sits up on the bathroom sink, swings her legs while I lean against the door.
“It’s just…we were having fun at the food truck event, then you cut it short to chase after Carmello, and I realized he’s the only reason you came back here.
On top of the fact that I didn’t want to be caught in the middle of you two again, I figured once you got whatever brand of excitement you wanted from him, you’d leave again, so there was no reason for me to get used to you being here.
And I know I sound jealous, but turns out, I can be very jealous. Resentful too.”
Just like Denise, some people are going to take much longer to see how happy I am here.
Or…just like Carmello, some people might see it, but still need time to trust that I really am.
Still, I can’t ignore the nagging thought that they all might have a point about me.
There’s been a strange feeling I can’t describe sitting in my chest the past few days; maybe I’m a little worried this thing with Carmello has been too good to be true.
I’m trying to shake the nerves but just because I have them doesn’t mean I want to leave or that I’m craving excitement elsewhere.
“Listen,” I say. “I won’t force you and me.
I don’t have the capacity to prove myself to everyone I care about right now.
Especially those who keep their hearts in a fortress surrounded by a barbed-wire fence.
” She gives me a small smile. “Maybe eventually, you and I will both be at a good enough place as individuals, and we can find a new friendship in each other. For now, just know that I’ll be careful for Teddy.
But I trust that your cousin will tell me if we’re moving too fast. I don’t want him to feel like I’m not willing to get to know his son, because I want to. ”
When I turn for the door handle, she says, “I’m keeping an eye on you two, but for now, just know, I can see how much happier Carmello is with you.”
I smile and thank her and then I go.
***
One Piece is exactly as Carmello described him.
When I squat to get on his level, he takes that as permission to knock me over and kiss my face.
Teddy laughs, but Carmello tugs softly on his leash and One Piece is quick to release me.
I smell like dog drool and my jeans have grass stains but my heart is full.
It’s dark out, save for the streetlights, and we walk a mile before Teddy gets tired and wants to turn back home.
Carmello gives One Piece some slack on the leash so he and Teddy can explore a bit up ahead and—after the talk I had earlier with Veronica—I watch the two childhood best friends with misty eyes.
Damn. Between the excruciating cramps this morning and me crying over everything including dental commercials, I know my period is about to hit hard.
They can be brutal because of my endometriosis.
I look over at Carmello, who’s deep in thought, probably about all the things he has to do.
Stocking, paying bills, whatever Dad duties he has tonight.
Maybe he’s even weighing out how it feels for the four of us to be walking together.
He’s wearing a fitted hat, so I can’t even see his face, but Veronica’s words ring through my head because I have no idea if he ever wants to do this again.
Meanwhile, I’m fantasizing about baking dog-safe cookies with Teddy in their house tonight.
When he softly bumps my shoulder, I think it’s just our magnetic attraction, but then I glance up at him and see his eyes under the low cap. They’re definitely teasing, playful eyes.
So, when we hit his street, I reach for his hand. Feeling flutters because he doesn’t let mine go when Teddy turns back to look at us. “Owivia.” My full name, butchered with a big pointy-teeth smile. “Are you gonna come inside for cookies?”
Carmello laughs. “Are you trying to steal my girlfr…”
He never gets to finish that sentence because his face goes slack.
When I follow his line of sight, I see someone standing on his front porch.
“Mommy!” Teddy calls and breaks out into a run.
Carmello lets go of One Piece’s leash and lets him run over to Daniela too.
I watch her give the boys her affection while my stomach is in my throat because, even though Carmello hasn’t moved away from me, he has let go of my hand.
When we make it over to the porch, Carmello climbs one step, but I stay back a few feet, and her eyes still find mine first. I can see the hurt on her face illuminated by the light over her head. She’s still hugging Teddy, and One Piece is licking her ankle, but she doesn’t seem to notice.
“Hey,” Carmello says. “You’re back early.”
“I had to talk to you about something.” Her voice is tight when she speaks to him.
I get that she won’t talk in front of me, that’s normal.
I’m a stranger who was just holding hands with the father of her kid while said kid walked ahead of us with a dog she clearly loves.
So, for a flash of a second, I feel like Carmello’s mistress.
I know that’s not what this is, but it’s like we were caught.
“Did something happen to you in the Bahamas?” Carmello asks, strain in his voice.
She shakes her head quickly, then glances down at a worried-looking Teddy. Squeezes him tighter. “Actually, it was mostly that I really wanted to see this kid’s face. And it wasn’t a big deal; there was a flight out a day early for just a small price increase.”
My brain latches on to those words and to the smile on her face while she looks at her son. She came early for Teddy. Not for him and Carmello. I let go of that other wild thought.
But Carmello clears his throat. “Daniela, this is Olivia. Olivia, this is…Teddy’s mom.”
We both shoot him a look. If it wasn’t obvious by him scratching the back of his neck that he’s uncomfortable, that last clarification in the introduction proved it.
“It’s nice to meet you, Daniela,” I say, fidgeting with my fingers. Not sure if I should climb the steps to offer her my hand or keep at this distance. She only gives me a small smile.
Thank God for children and their inability to sit still.
Teddy tugs on her pants. “Mommy, come see my new books!”
Daniela looks at Carmello as if she needs permission, and I get the distinct feeling she’s never really had to do that before. The moment is tense before Carmello answers by telling Teddy: “Make sure to give Mommy a slice of the cake you made with Paula, okay?”
“Okay, Daddy,” he says, but he doesn’t look at either of us. Just goes on his tiptoes to grab the door handle and pull it open for his mom and his best friend to follow.
Carmello stares after them for a few seconds, as if he needs time to process whatever the hell this just was, but I’m already walking backward toward my car. When he snaps out of his thoughts, he takes a few strides with his long legs and he’s in front of me.
“O,” he whispers. “That was weird. I’m sorry.”
I smile and say, “It was very weird, but it’s fine. It’s not your fault.”
“I have to talk to her,” he says. “But I want to make sure you’re okay first.”
“I’m okay,” I rush to reassure him, knowing how often he overthinks things.
He tentatively cups my face, then relaxes when I lean into his hand. “Are you sure?”
I tell him I mostly am because I’m not upset with him, I know he’ll explain why it was weird later. I trust him, but I’m also starting to feel more crampy and I really wanted to go inside and bake some cookies and maybe watch Mufasa with Teddy and now I’m sad.
I tiptoe to kiss him, and he gets lost in my lips for a minute, but then he breaks away and puts his mouth against my cheek. “I love you, O,” he says.
“I love you too, Mello,” I tell him, but the words feel like they come with more complications than they did yesterday.
And halfway on the drive to my Airbnb, I get my period too.