Magic and Memories

Alison

“Ino longer go by that name,” said Charlotte. “But yes, Danny—Daniel-—is the name I was born with.”

Danny was Charlotte, and she was alive.

She was alive.

Alison cried out and ran to her, pulling her into her arms. Charlotte was stiff beneath her. “You’re alive. You’re alive. You’re alive,” said Alison over and over until Nolwynn gently pulled her off of the young woman.

Alison wept openly and without shame. Charlotte looked at Nolwynn with the same furrowed-brow concern that Keir so often did, and it made Alison weep even harder.

“Have you been here all this time?” she forced out between sobs. “Is this where you went after you went over the falls?”

She could see it clearly now. The coming up for air at the end of her experience in the vine’s world was real. Charlotte really had resurfaced after the fall. And the sound of singing: it must have been the korrigans. Nolwynn had told Alison when they met that korrigans didn’t drown people, they saved people from drowning.

“You saved her,” said Alison to Nolwynn. “Oh, thank the Gods. You saved her.”

“He told you about me?” asked Charlotte. “What did he say?”

Alison thought through all of the things she’d heard about Charlotte as a child. All of the stories Keir had told her, of all the times he’d tried to shield her from their father’s wrath. Of all the times he’d taken the blame to protect her. Of the times their father had blamed Keir to drive them apart.

She understood why Nolwynn had told him to leave.

“It wasn’t him, Charlotte. He loved you—loves you—so much. It was your father. He lied to you to keep you apart. But he was cruel to you both. He hurt you both. Keir did everything he could to help you—”

“No,” said Charlotte. “They were in it together. You don’t understand. They were happy I was gone. I was alone in that house.”

“You weren’t,” said Alison. “Let me bring him back here. He can tell you—”

“No!” said Charlotte, taking a step back away from Alison. “I don’t believe you. I think you should leave.”

Alison panicked. She had to find a way to make Charlotte believe her, had to find a way to convince her that Keir had only been trying to protect her. He deserved to have her back. They deserved to have each other again after all these years apart.

“Show us,” said Nolwynn. “I can feel the old magic on you now. Show us what you know.”

Alison had no idea how to do that. To share her memories with them—it wasn’t the same as moving some water around the room.

Was it?

“I’ll help you,” said Nolwynn. “Give me your hand.”

Nolwynn took one of Alison’s hands and placed it on Charlotte’s. Then she placed her own small hand on top of them both.

Alison felt a surge of power from Nolwynn into Alison and then into Charlotte. It felt different from the power she’d felt from Keir or Idris, more akin to the fairies’ magic. It was the same power she’d felt drawing her to the path, and Charlotte shared it too. Alison could see in the connection how the korrigans shared their magic with the other races who came to live with them, how it shaped and changed their bodies to adapt to life in and near the water, how it had transformed Charlotte into her feminine shape as she grew.

The power pressed against something within Alison. It felt like a knock against a door. A request for entry into her thoughts and memories.

Alison didn’t know what would be shared if she answered, but she did it anyway.

For Keir’s sake. And Charlotte’s, too.

She allowed the door of her mind to open wide. Out spilled a thousand hopes and dreams and wishes, memories of good times and bad. The joy of meeting Rinka and the pain of losing her father. The boredom of her old job and the peace she felt in the garden. The love she felt for the town, for Gwenla, for Weyland, for Lady Sibba, for Willow and Dinah.

And Keir.

“Focus it,” said Nolwynn. “Close it down to what we need to see.”

Alison focused on Keir, closing the door until only he remained.

She brought them to the memory of her first conversation with Keir about his sibling. The memory from several months earlier was hazy, with the only clear image being Keir seated at the kitchen table. Charlotte shifted uncomfortably as the memory focused in on Keir’s words.

Alison’s memory of the conversation did not play out like a picture show. Instead, it existed in fragments, but the gist was clear: their mother had given Danny a doll named Charlotte, the name she would have given Danny if he had been born female. The name Charlotte had taken for herself once she’d known who she was, Alison realized.

“I remember that doll,” said Charlotte. “I loved it so much.”

Their father had broken the doll and blamed it on Keir, who was too afraid of what his father would do to him to defy him. Though her memory of his words wasn’t exact, Alison could remember exactly how Keir had sounded as he spoke, the pain and regret in his voice.

She moved then to other memories: tales of Charlotte climbing trees and riding horses and making friends in town. She let Charlotte see Keir through her eyes, all of the joy and love and sorrow and longing he felt as he spoke of the sister he had no idea still lived.

And then she brought Charlotte to the memory of the vine. Those memories were crystal clear. She allowed Charlotte to watch the picture show of the loop they were caught in, how they’d tried over and over again to come up with a way to save her, and how finally, after exhausting every other option, Keir had accepted that she was gone and let her go over the falls.

“But I wasn’t gone,” Charlotte said. Alison let go of Charlotte’s hand and opened her eyes once more. Charlotte’s rosy cheeks were streaked with tears. “I was right here for all those years. I saw him sometimes. I’d see him riding with Father, and sometimes I’d see him reading alone up near the house. I kept my distance—I was terrified of him. I was terrified of what he’d do if he knew I was still alive.”

She took Alison’s hand again. “Is this truly the Keir that you know? I want to believe you, but it’s so hard. It’s been so long.”

Alison could not imagine what Charlotte must be going through. To have the entire story of her life rewritten, to realize that everything she believed about her family was wrong. To find out that she had been loved and wanted and missed after years of believing otherwise.

“This is the Keir I know,” she told her. “This is the Keir I love. I am certain that the thing he regrets most in this world is not doing more for you. I know that he would do anything to go back and change things and that accepting that he can’t has been the most difficult thing he’s ever had to do. I know that finding out you’re alive is going to be the greatest thing to ever happen to him. I know this must be so difficult to hear and understand, and I don’t blame you a bit for doubting it. But I hope you can find it in yourself to forgive him. You both deserve the chance to know each other again.”

Alison knew these things not just because she knew Keir, but because she knew how they felt in her own heart. She knew what it was to long for just one more day with someone; she knew what it was to relive every one of their final moments, seeing the mistakes that were made and the things that she missed so clearly in hindsight. She had watched her father’s final breaths, and still, all these years later, she’d wake up some days hoping to hear his laugh just one more time.

But for Keir, it could happen. And while she felt a tiny bit of envy, what she felt the most was elation that this impossible wish could come true for him.

Charlotte wept quietly as she listened to Alison’s words. Alison took her in her arms again, and this time, she returned the embrace.

“I can’t believe I’ve wasted so much time,” she said. “I’ve spent most of my life blaming the wrong person. I don’t know how to come back from that. You said you hope I can forgive him. But how can I ask him to forgive me?”

“There’s nothing to forgive,” said Alison. “You were a child, and you were scared. You both were.”

Alison held her for a good, long while until Charlotte stopped weeping and let go.

“Thank you,” said Charlotte. “Thank you for sharing your memories, and thank you for your patience and your comfort. I’m sorry. I don’t even know your name.”

“I’m Alison.” Alison held out her hand to shake.

Charlotte chuckled. “It’s nice to meet you, Alison.”

Then Charlotte turned to Nolwynn. “I’ve had a good life here. I don’t regret staying with you, and I appreciate everything you’ve done for me. You saved me. You made me who I am.”

“We let you be who you are,” said Nolwynn. “You did the rest.”

“And I thank you for it. But I want to see him again. I hope you understand.”

“Of course,” said Nolwynn. She wrapped her small arms halfway around Charlotte’s torso. “There will always be a place for you here if you want it. Go. Be with your brother.”

“I’m just going to take a moment to get some things and collect my thoughts. Should I meet you in town?” asked Charlotte.

Alison told Charlotte to meet them back at Keir’s house in Herot’s Hollow. She thought a more private location would be better for their reunion, and Charlotte agreed.

“Now,” said Nolwynn once Charlotte had gone into her tent to pack. “What was it you actually came here for?”

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