Chapter 29
TWENTY-NINE
If it wasn’t obvious before, I think I’ve cemented that I will do absolutely anything for Wren. It’s why I spent the entire day with her, prepping for tomorrow’s holiday festival outside in the freezing cold with her brothers, making the best Christmas gift I could think of.
It’s my small way to prove my commitment to the town in a way Wren would understand. Well, maybe the second-best gift, but the second one is going under the tree.
Turns out, she and Hallie were right: her brothers don’t actually hate me.
After watching them interact for six hours today, I realized that constant poking and prodding is simply how they treat each other.
I just couldn’t understand it because I don’t have experience with brothers, which is what I think they now, in some twisted way, consider me to be.
I think the whole King-brothers-hating-their-little-sister’s-new-boyfriend-on-principle thing was also appeased when I got Jesse’s number from Hallie and told him my master plan before asking for his and Madden’s help. It was a big task to do in one day, so I needed all the help I could get.
An hour passes after her brothers help me clean up and head out so as not to ruin the surprise, and I spend it pacing, both indoors and out, keeping an eye out for her arrival home.
I do this both to catch her when she gets home and to check how obvious my surprise was if you weren’t looking for it.
I’m inside when her car pulls into her drive almost an hour later than anticipated, and I feel like a kid excited for Christmas.
I can’t help but smile, wondering if this is how Wren feels every day.
I send her a text telling her to come over when she’s finished putting away her stuff, but she doesn’t respond right away.
After a few minutes, I send her another, and when that one goes seemingly unopened, I decide just to go over and drag her ass over here for our date night.
I don’t feel the kind of embarrassment I usually feel when showing someone I’m excited about something because I’m headed to arguably the most excited person in the world.
Plus, she is going to love this.
But when I knock at the door, she doesn’t greet me with a smile and a kiss in casual clothes like I expect for our night in. Instead, she flings the door open quickly, then moves back to the kitchen, the tails of her hair bow floating behind her as she does.
“Hey, babe, come in, come in!” she says, sliding long tubes into a giant trash bag. There’s a massive pile of wrapping paper on the table, along with ribbon and bows, and a dozen reels of tape.
I stare at the mess, confused.
“Uh, what’s going on?” I ask, staring at that giant pile of things. All of them are red, green, and holiday patterns. “Everything okay? I texted you.”
She turns and grimaces at me before continuing her task. “Shoot, sorry, I haven’t checked my phone. I’m just trying to get some things together before I head back to the community center.”
I halt and blink at her.
“Back to the community center?”
“Yeah, I have to help wrap the gifts for Santa.”
I stare at her and feel my chest sink to the ground. “I thought you had the night off.” An unfamiliar dread is curling in my gut, disappointment mixed with frustration.
“I did, but Stevie needed to head out early to help with her kids, so I offered to take over it for her.”
I blink at her and try to bite back the flash of anger that moves through me, swift and unexpected. “You offered?”
She pauses what she’s doing, clearly hearing my tone, and stares at me with a furrowed brow.
“Well, yeah. If I hadn’t, it wouldn’t have gotten done, and there’s enough to do tomorrow morning that adding that would be cutting it too close. Santa’s coming tomorrow, and the gifts have to be wrapped and assigned.”
“You offered,” I repeat, and this time, it’s not a question but a statement. Now the words are low and pointed, and I can’t seem to keep the frustration out of them. But I’m finding I also don’t want to. That’s how I feel, after all, and a part of me wants Wren to know that.
“I didn’t really have a choice, Adam. If I didn’t, it wouldn’t get done. That’s how it always goes.”
I shake my head and let out a disbelieving laugh.
“Or it would have when they realized you weren’t going to swoop in and save the day.” Venom is in the words, and she must notice it finally. She drops the ribbons in her hands and turns to me fully now, confusion and a hint of irritation marring her pretty face.
“Why are you making such a big deal out of this? I know I promised to stop offering to help, but we’re in a bind, and this has to get done for tomorrow. It’s going to be so busy, I won’t be able to find the time in the morning.”
I stare at her, remembering all the times in my life when I was never put first. Every time, I was made to feel like a nuisance as a child or like I didn’t matter as an adult.
The only person who has never made me feel that way was Wren. The first person in town who made an effort to try to get to know me. The one who persistently poked at my shell until it fell apart. The first person to ever take care of me when I was sick.
I try to remind myself of those things as I say my following words with as much neutrality as I can muster.
“We had plans,” I say, feeling stupid and childish when I say it aloud. She stares at me, blinking twice, then her face becomes a mask of apology.
She forgot.
“Oh, shoot, Adam, I’m sorry! I should have called and told you.
We can do it tomorrow!” She hesitates, then gives me a slight grimace, as if she knows that won’t work, not with the festival being tomorrow.
“Or the next day?” Another grimace. “Crud, that’s Christmas Eve.
” She hesitates, then takes in a deep breath before giving me a big smile that seems forced.
“I’ll make it up to you, I promise.” She turns back to the table and starts packing, her mind moving a mile a minute.
It’s obvious she has her long to-do list in her mind, the burden of it weighing on her.
It’s precisely why I planned tonight, not just for my surprise, but because I wanted her to have one night of relaxation, a night to get a good night’s sleep before the chaos of the holiday truly hit.
“Sure, you will. Unless there’s some other crisis that you need to step in for,” I say under my breath without even thinking.
She stops what she’s doing, noticing something on my face, and then throws up her hands.
“What’s wrong, Adam? I’m sorry, really I am, but I have to help.
It’s what I do, who I am.” She takes in a deep breath, and an apology crosses her face.
“I am the one people can count on to pick up the slack. I’m the one who says yes.
You knew that when you got into this with me.
” She waves her hands between us, indicating our relationship, I suppose.
“I’m working on it, really, I am, but right now, these things need to get done. ”
I run a hand through my hair and shake my head. “I just don’t get why it has to be you. You’ve been there since six a.m. You’ve done everything for this. There are a dozen people who could step in; you just have to ask them.”
She shakes her head, as if I just don’t get it, but I’m beginning to realize it’s Wren who doesn’t get it.
“Everyone else has things to do. They have families and people waiting for them.”
I stare at her, waiting for her words to sink in, and a small, bitter smile spreads on my lips. “I guess that’s the problem, isn’t it? You drop everything for everyone but won’t do it for a date with me.”
She looks at me a bit closely, then her face shifts like she’s realizing something, like she is surprised by something she sees written on my face. “Are you mad at me?”
I sigh, running a hand through my hair. “I…I don’t know. I don’t want to be,” I tell her truthfully.
She hesitates, and her eyes go pained when they meet mine. “But you are? Mad at me?”
I take in a deep breath, trying to center myself and organize my thoughts, separating them from the hurt feelings and disappointment.
“I’m frustrated. I’m disappointed. I’m not convinced you can put yourself first, which makes me worried about what a future between us would look like.
I’m frustrated because it feels like the only people who care about you are me and Hallie.
I’m aggravated that you think you have to do everything for everyone.
I’m annoyed that I asked you to give me tonight, and as soon as someone else needed something, you forgot about it.
It makes me feel like I come in last in your world, when I’m starting to realize you come first in mine. ”
Pain moves over her face, and she steps closer, putting a hand to my chest. “You don’t come last, Adam.
I’m sorry I forgot, really. It’s just such a crazy time, but it’s just because it’s Christmas.
Of course, I would rather spend the night in with you than go back downtown.
Of course, I’d rather eat junk and watch movies and cuddle instead of taking on another task that someone else was supposed to do.
” Her voice wavers, and she takes in a deep, shaky breath.
“I’m exhausted, and I want to go to bed, and I want you to hold me, but you’re angry at me now.
And I get it, I do, I’m the worst, but I don’t know—”
Tears well in her eyes, and I sigh, wrapping an arm around her waist and pulling her into my chest. Tears begin to soak my shirt, and I rub her back.
“Wren, baby, it’s fine. It’s fine. I’ll…
” I sigh, pushing back at the disappointment.
“I just worry about you. I want you to do things for yourself, not for everyone else. I just don’t understand why you can’t do something for yourself.
I don’t get why you have to work yourself to the bone, why you always have to be the one to step in and save the day. ”
“I have to, Adam,” she says into my shirt.