EPILOGUE ONE
MAMA brODIE: Dylan!!!
MAMA brODIE: Dylan Joseph Marshall Brodie, why have you not answered my calls? I am beside myself. Baby Boy. You know I follow #DylanBrodie on all social media sites. Why am I finding out that you are engaged from @BubbaHoTapLA and Just Jared instead of my own son and future daughter-in-law?!
POPS brODIE: If I had to guess, dear heart, I’d say the lovebirds are busy celebrating. As they should be.
MAMA brODIE: I was the one who called it though. Wasn’t I? I told all y’all Dylan is going to marry his therapist. I said let’s just sit back and wait and watch how it all plays out!
POPS brODIE: Mmhmm. That sure does sound like something you’d say. But perhaps you did not include me in that particular text convo, because I do not recall you saying it.
MAMA brODIE: That is because after all these years you still have not learned how to read between the loons.
MAMA brODIE: Lines.
POPS brODIE:
MILES: Wait, what? Who’s engaged?
MAMA brODIE: Your youngest brother. We must all celebrate with champagne.
MAMA brODIE: Or what have you.
MILES: Please tell me he’s engaged to Scarlett.
MAMA brODIE: Yes, Miles. To Scarlett. Who else would he be engaged to?
MILES: Well, it’s been a weird week, so I wouldn’t have felt confident putting money on anyone to be honest.
MILES: But I’m glad it’s Scarlett. Good for him. I’m really happy for you, Dylan. And for Scarlett. Congratulations.
POPS brODIE: Did someone steal my eldest’s phone? Hello. You’re not doing Miles right.
MILES: I’m relieved. He finally listened to me.
OWEN: Holy shit. I just searched the hashtag. This is amazing! Congratulations, Dylan! They did not get your good side in any of those shots I saw, but your hair looked great.
OWEN: Scarlett looked beautiful, of course. It looked like her son had to pee though.
MAMA brODIE: Well, duck me. Is this the group that Dylan isn’t in? This is the one we use to make fun of him on, isn’t it? We really need to consolidate.
POPS brODIE: Yes. Consolidation will solve all our problems, Bonnie Lyn.
MAMA brODIE: Oh hush, you. We don’t have any problems.
MILES: Wow, I just checked out Just Jared. You’re right, that was not his good side.
OWEN: Garcon! Could you remove your shirt and shoes and turn your head to the left?
DYLAN: Actually, I am in this group. Hi guys. Nice to know you make fun of me behind my back too.
MAMA brODIE: Oh! Big butt! My hard is so full of long for you.
POPS brODIE: Well, good night everyone. Congratulations, Dylan. You’ll be hearing from your mother tomorrow when I return her phone to her.
DYLAN: Thanks, you guys. I’m really happy. She did say yes, in case you were wondering.
MILES: Thrilled for you. Well, I’m going to be a busy best man.
MILES: Oh wait—Owen and Frankie aren’t actually engaged yet.
OWEN: We have promised ourselves to each other.
DYLAN: I support that. Which is obviously why I will be your best man when you do get married.
OWEN: Actually, I’ll probably make Sam my best man.
DYLAN: Oh shit. That’s a good idea. I should make Noah my best man.
MILES: Yeah, that makes sense. Well, I already own a tux just in case it doesn’t work out with the little guys.
DYLAN: Thanks, Miles. And I know you still haven’t found what you’re looking for, but I hope you nut up and ask out that woman you like.
OWEN: Whoa. What?!
MILES: I have no idea what you’re talking about.
OWEN: What are you talking about, Dylan? Does Miles LIKE like a girl?
DYLAN: You should buy him five shots of whiskey and ask him yourself sometime.
OWEN: I will definitely do that when I’m not too busy with my hot and hilarious live-in girlfriend that I will eventually marry and knock up.
DYLAN: Yeah, I’d do it too, but I’m engaged to a gorgeous woman who loves me, and I need only to be with her until I have to leave for Big Bear. So maybe I can see you for an hour or so in a little over a month, Miles. Pretty sure you’ll still be single then.
MILES: Leave me alone.
DYLAN:
OWEN:
MILES: