12. Chapter Twelve
Chapter Twelve
Bellarose
I didn’t know if I wanted to cry from disappointment or relief. Cade wasn’t my second-chance mate. I didn’t have to make the decision to be his luna after all. Someone else would get that privilege. That thought alone hurt, but I was in front of the two packs and I needed to push everything down and keep the show going.
“Let’s shift, and enjoy the run under the light of the Moon Goddess.” I smiled at everyone.
Lindsay and Charles were too wrapped up in each other to notice, while others were visibly disappointed. None of my widows got a second-chance mate. Did the Moon Goddess hate me that much? I’d now lost my only cook to Cade’s pack and gained no pack members. Chris also didn’t find a mate, but he looked unperturbed by the fact. Actually, scratch that. He kept looking up at the pack house, his hands flexing at his sides. Cade was right, but also wrong.
Chris didn’t like Violet. He was in love with my little sister.
Meanwhile, Elim was off to the side, confusion in his eyes as he searched the crowd. When he didn’t find who he was looking for, he also looked up at the alpha floor of the pack house, but where Chris remained with the group, Elim took off with his vampire speed into the house.
This might be an interesting little while for my sister.
I turned to head down the platform we’d set up earlier today. Cade was looking up at the moon, lost in thought. I wondered what he was thinking about. I tried to move around him to head down the steps, but he moved as I passed, and I almost lost my balance. His hands reached out automatically, and he steadied me on my feet. Lightning and fire shot up my arm and I gasped at its intensity.
“Are you okay?” he asked.
“Yeah. You?” I asked.
I felt like he took my question to mean more than a simple courtesy, because his eyes searched mine for a moment, before a slow smile appeared on his face that made my heart flutter.
“I will be, Princess. If things go my way.”
What the hell does that mean?
I have no clue, but he can mean whatever he wants if he keeps smiling at us like that, Coyo added.
I thought we both agreed: no more alphas, I replied.
He’s different.
He’s not ours.
He could be. He hasn’t found a luna and he’s over thirty. He’s going to have to choose soon, Coyo reminded me.
You really want to go through that heartache again? Being a luna? Leading a pack where the majority of the wolves in it don’t respect you?
You tell me, Bells. Is Cade worth it? Don’t you think we deserve more than what we’ve gotten so far?
I didn’t know how to answer that. To answer that, I would have to unpack a lot of things I’ve shoved down very deep in my heart. Doubts of my worth, and words Brandon had put in my head over the years. I would have to dissect which words were true and which were not. Opening that can of worms was something I wasn’t sure I could survive right now, and my dying pack needed me to function.
Did I deserve to be happy? I’d like to think so, but if we were being honest, I wasn’t sure. There was a reason the Moon Goddess had sent me so far away from the people I loved, and some nights I wondered if it was because they were better off without me.
I passed by Lindsay and Charles and smiled at them both. “Congratulations you two. I’m so happy for you.”
I was. I was happy for both of them, but I was also sad at losing Lindsay. There was no way she would get Charles to join, instead of the other way around. Lindsay had no family here, while Charles had family waiting for new pack grounds in Crescent Moon. It wouldn’t even be kind of me to try to convince them not to go. I wouldn’t wish anyone to be separated from their family like I was from mine.
“Let’s shift and have a run,” I ordered, letting Coyo forward, when Cade reached the front of the packs.
Cade’s wolf eyed Coyo, who stood only slightly shorter than him. She was a beautiful black wolf with a random red boot on her left hind leg. I couldn’t communicate with Cade, but with an encouraging nod from Coyo, his wolf tilted his head back and howled at the moon. Coyo followed suit and we took off running, enjoying running beside Cade’s wolf for the next hour. I could see she liked him just as much as she like the human counterpart.
When we returned, I shifted back and pulled on my jeans and shirt. I chatted with people for a while, before I decided I was done socializing and walked back inside as everyone was having snacks.
The woman who came to talk to Cade the other day during our picnic with Violet, stumbled out of the kitchen, adjusting her clothes with a frown on her face. She smiled when she saw me and bounced out of the pack house with a giggle. I was confused, until Cade came walking out of the kitchen a moment later.
Pain slashed through my heart as my mind put two and two together. I was wrong about him. He was just like Brandon. He took what he wanted without any thought to consequences.
“Alpha Cade.” I managed to nod. “Have a good night.”
Confusion and then understanding flashed through his eyes, but instead of waiting for him to give me an excuse, I walked away. I climbed the stairs as fast as I could. I wanted to have a drink and push out the images running through my head. I heard him calling my name, but I didn’t turn around. This was something I could walk away from before my heart fractured beyond repair.
“Fuck! You’re fast when you want to be. Will you slow down?” Cade was huffing behind me.
“I’m going to bed.”
“We need to talk.”
“We don’t need to talk. What you do with your pack members is your own business. I would just appreciate it if you keep it to your own people. I’ve already broken up enough fights over Hugh’s sexcapades. I don’t need more broken hearts.”
“I’m not fucking Ada, Bells.”
“I don’t care!” I growled, turning around to face him. I expected him to stop but he didn’t. Instead, he grabbed me by the arms and walked me backward until we hit the door to my room.
“You’re infuriating sometimes,” he growled, looking down at me.
“And you’re just like every other asshole alpha, taking what you want no matter who you hurt or how many broken hearts you leave behind. You’re selfish. To you it’s just a fuck, but do you know what that girl is thinking? Maybe she wanted to be your luna and you’re stringing her along, making her think you’re going to love her when you can’t. You can’t because you’re selfish and you’re going to break her.” The words were coming out of my mouth before I could stop them.
Cade stepped back at my words, a myriad of strange looks crossing his face. Finally, he took a step forward, caging me against the door of my room again.
“I don’t know what the hell kind of mate you got, Bells, but I’m not him. I don’t cheat. I don’t fuck around with random pack members. I don’t mistreat my woman.” He lowered his face until he was close enough to look into my eyes. “I don’t fuck pack members. I don’t fuck around, period. I can count on one hand the number of women I’ve taken to my bed and Ada isn’t and will never be one of them.”
“She was adjusting her cl—”
“She’s been trying to get me to fuck her for years. You’re right. She wants to be luna, but I’ve told her every fucking time it’s not going to happen.” His eyes drifted down to my lips momentarily. “She’s not the woman I want,” he finished in a low voice.
My stomach revolted with butterflies, my heart sped up and my core tightened at the implications of his words.
“I—” I wasn’t sure what I was going to say.
I believed him, despite every alarm in my head reminding me that I believed Brandon at first, and look where that got me. But Cade was right. He wasn’t Brandon and I knew that deep down in my heart. So what did I say now? I should say I was sorry for assuming. I should say I didn’t care. I should lie to him, but the words were lodged in my throat.
“Say you understand, Bells,” he breathed out.
“I—”
“Tell me you know I’m not him. Tell me you understand what I want. Who I want.”
My lips were on fire with the need to kiss him. Throbbing, as they recalled what it was to be kissed by him. Before I could stop myself, I leaned forward the remaining few inches until they got what they wanted, and I held on for dear life to the front of his shirt as I kissed him.
He didn’t move. He didn’t touch me. He let me do what I wanted. More proof that he was different. I opened my mouth, letting my tongue run along the seam of his lips. I wasn’t used to taking control, but he opened his mouth for me and I thrust my tongue inside to explore his rich taste. My whole body began to hum when I heard his approving growl, but much too soon, he pulled back, leaving me wanting more.
“Tell me you understand, Bells. Tell me you want it, too,” Cade asked again.
“You’re not him. I want you because you’re not him,” I answered.
My words were what Cade needed, because the next moment, he was attacking my mouth with his own, demonstrating with actions more than words, once again, how different he was from Brandon. All thoughts and comparisons soon flew out the window as I moaned, feeling his body pressing against mine, his growing bulge putting pressure against my stomach, promising heaven.
His arms wrapped around my waist and crushed me against him. It felt good; as if he wanted me so badly, that he was trying to merge us together. I wanted that. I wanted to pull his body into mine and feel like I was one with him. I wanted to feel his cock pulsing inside of me. I wanted to feel his heart throbbing inside me, making my walls pulse in rhythm to him.
One of his hands tapped my ass, and I didn’t hesitate to jump and wrap my legs around his torso, his hard, clothed member pushing into my core, making him groan.
With one hand holding my ass, he felt for the doorknob with the other. I wrapped my arms tightly around his neck when I felt the door move from my back. Cade broke our kiss, one eye trying to look where he was going while kissing down my throat. I heard kick the door closed behind him before he pressed me against the poster of the bed, grinding his cock into me until I was a writhing mess of need in his arms. He was going to make me come just from the pressure he was putting on my clit.
“Cade,” I moaned.
“Goddess, say my name like that again, Princess.”
I obeyed his request, and I felt his hand dip into my jeans to cup my bare ass. His hand continued down until I felt him parting my folds. I moaned, and he groaned.
“You’re so wet for me, Bells.”
I moaned again in response and ground myself against his probing fingers.
“What do you want, Bells?” he asked, sucking on my neck. I whimpered in response and he pulled back to look down at me. “Tell me what you want, baby,” he asked again.
“I need to come,” I managed to whimper, trying to get him back to where he was nibbling on my neck.
“How do you want to come, Princess?”
“I want to come around your cock.”
“You sure, Princess? You sure you want this cock in your sweet pussy?” he asked, his hips bucking up deliciously into me, his fingers still moving across my most intimate parts.
“I need your cock, Cade,” I panted, trying to impale myself on his fingers to feel some relief.
Cade pulled me away from the post and dumped me onto the bed before chucking his shirt and jeans. I stared at the god- like body being uncovered before me, my mouth watering as he removed his boxer briefs. I let my eyes roam to my heart’s content, and I finally allowed myself to gaze at the cock I’d been dreaming about for weeks.
“You’re wearing too many clothes. Will you yell at me if I help you out with that?” He raised an eyebrow and I glared at his joke, which made him grin. “Just checking,” he chuckled, extending his claws and ripping my jeans down the sides.
“I liked those jeans,” I pouted.
“I’ll buy you ten of them,” he groaned, staring down at me as he fisted his cock while I pulled off my shirt.
Sooner than the shirt could hit the floor, he was bending and ripping off my bra.
“That was unnecessary. I was almost done,” I glared at him.
“Shut up, Bells,” he growled, crawling up to me, knowing I was being purposely difficult.
His body was hot and hard, and I wanted it touching me everywhere.
“You shut up,” I grinned up at him, defiantly.
“Do you want to fuck or do you want to fight, Princess?” he asked, his cock pushing into my folds, making me moan.
Cade held himself at the entrance, not pushing his cock where I wanted it. Where I needed it. It took me a moment to realize he was waiting for a response, and I decided to have some fun.
“Why not both?” I asked, grinning.
“Hot, angry sex?” he asked, raising an eyebrow.
“Is that a problem?”
“Not at all,” he answered, before spearing my core with his hard cock.
I threw my head back at the feeling of him stretching me and cried out his name. Before he gave me a chance to adjust, he withdrew and slammed back into me, making me cry out again, as colors burst from behind my eyelids in pleasure.
“Is this what you needed, Princess?” he growled, plunging into me with so much force, I could feel my tits hitting my chin, and drawing his eyes to them as they bounced with his thrusts. “Such pretty tips,” he groaned, dipping down and taking my nipple into his mouth.
“Fuck,” I moaned as he pulled and bit on the hardened pebble.
I wrapped my legs around his waist, digging my heels into his ass and pulling him closer. From this angle, I felt his cock hitting a spot that was making me see stars. I clenched around him, making him groan, and speed up his thrusts.
“Fuck, Bells. I can feel you getting close. Milk my cock, Princess. I need to feel you come for me.”
His words sent me over the edge. My head snapped back and my lips cried out his name with a sob of ecstasy. Cade slowed his thrusts, grinding his pelvis against mine so he could press against my clit and drag my climax on. When I finally came back down to earth, and my body began to calm, I noticed the look of awe and adoration in his eyes.
“You’re mind-alteringly gorgeous when you come, Princess,” he whispered, his lips brushing mine sweetly before he pulled back up onto his hands, and a devilish grin spread across his face. “I want to see it again.”
My eyes widened in surprise, but I had no chance to reply when Cade pulled his hips back and thrust back into me.
“Cade,” I gasped when he snapped his hips forward suddenly.
“Too hard?” he asked, slowing down as a worried look crossed his face.
“Harder,” I begged, earning me an approving grunt from Cade as he pistoned into me harder.
“You take my cock so well, Bells,” he praised.
I pulled him down closer, and he buried his head in my shoulder, his neck enticingly in my view. I was surprised by the sudden need to mark him, and I latched my teeth into his neck, sucking as hard as I could to pseudo-fill the need. Cade bucked and groaned.
“Fuck, Bells,” he rasped as a wild need possessed him and took me with him.
I released his neck, my back arched, and I screamed as another orgasm burst through my body. Somehow, in the middle of the most intense climax I’d ever had, I managed to watch Cade pull up and shudder with a groan as I felt his release filling my channel. It was an image I knew would forever be engraved in my heart.
Cade collapsed on top of me, breathing hard. I felt him leaving tiny kisses on my neck as we waited for our bodies to calm. I expected him to get up and leave, and my heart sank when he pulled out and rolled out of bed. But instead of pulling on his clothes, he walked into the bathroom.
I sat up, wrapping my bedsheet around me when I heard the faucet running. Cade walked back out moments later with a wet hand towel and frowned.
“Where are you going?”
“I—Nowhere. This is my room,” I answered, confused.
Cade walked toward me, grabbed my ankle, and pulled on it, making me slide down the bed with a startled cry. He removed the bedsheet from around me and leaned down to kiss me. He placed the warm, wet cloth between my legs and pulled back to clean me. When he was done, Cade threw the wet cloth in the hamper, and crawled over me to the other side of the bed, where he pulled me against his chest until I was enveloped in his arms and safely nestled between his legs. It felt good. Comfortable. Like this was where I needed to be.
I should tell him to leave before someone noticed, but just for tonight, I didn’t. I wanted to know what this was like. I wanted to know what it felt like to wake up next to Cade.
Tomorrow.
Tomorrow we would talk about everything. What this meant, who could know and how this might work. But tonight, I just wanted to enjoy this.