26. Chapter Twenty-Six
Chapter Twenty-Six
Bellarose
C ade had been pouting since Adrien got here because I told him he couldn’t sleep in my room while my cousin was here. It was only for a few days, but he was making it seem like it was the end of the world. He felt like I was hiding him when I wasn’t. Not really. Violet hadn’t told anyone about Chris, either. Was it so wrong to want to keep things from them until I was ready?
I did have to admit that I missed him already, and it hadn’t even been a full day yet. It was one in the morning, and I couldn’t fall asleep. I sighed and put my phone down, hoping the darkness would help.
My back hit the back of the desk painfully as I struggled against the blade that was inches away from my heart. My lower back spasmed in pain, but I couldn’t give into it. I’d lost everything, and now I was fighting for the life of my unborn pup. It couldn’t end like this. All the sacrifice, the tears, the struggle to be happy.
Coyo lent me her strength, and I recalled the training Brenda gave me growing up. I brought my knee up, connecting with sensitive flesh. The dagger was released and I plunged it into my attacker with my uninjured hand. He reared back in pain and I pulled it out and plunged it in again, finally forcing him to still.
I slid down to the floor, my hand covering my mouth as I finally allowed myself to look at Brandon’s body. My mate was dead. I was alone and with a pup on the way.
I struggled to stand, the wound on my shoulder trying to mend itself, my back screaming at me in pain. My injured hand slipped on the hardwood floor covered in blood, making me drop to the floor again with a cry. I crawled toward the body, pulling the blade out of our attacker and plunging it back into his heart. Once I was sure there was no threat to us anymore, I let the tears fall from my eyes, wetting my shirt as I moved to cradle my mate’s head in my lap and sob, calling out for my brother to help me; to make this nightmare end.
A sudden sharp pain rippled through my abdomen. Coyo’s howl as I felt blood soaking my pants was deafening, as was the sob that tore from my throat.
‘Bells, wake up.’
I looked around the room as I heard my twin’s voice. Sobs wracked my frame as I looked down and I was now holding Cade’s body in my arms. His body was still warm, blood was spilling from a wound on his neck. I took his hand in mine.
“Come back to me. Please. Come back. I need you. Cory help me!” I screamed out the last part.
Cade’s eyes open suddenly. “I thought you loved me,” he gasped before the light left his eyes.
‘BELLAROSE GRACE SALONEN, WAKE UP!’
I sat up in bed, pain shooting through my heart as the dream refused to let me go.
‘Bells, I’m here. Talk to me.’ M y twin’s voice was a source of comfort I was trying to hang onto.
‘Cory?’
‘That’s right. It’s just me. You’re safe. That night is over.’
‘Cory, I—That night—’
‘It was a year ago, Bells. You’re safe. Nothing like that will ever happen again.’
‘But—’
‘You’re going to be alright. This is the first one in a month. They’re going to go away one day and you won’t have to think about it again. It will just be a memory.’
I sobbed at his words, hoping they were true. After I was done talking to Cory, I left my room, intending to go to Cade’s. But, I heard movement from Violet’s room and ducked back inside my room. I choked back a sob against my locked door and crawled back under the covers, wishing everything would just disappear.
A few minutes later, I heard a light knock on the door. I got up to open it, wondering what was happening. Cade was standing in front of the door, looking down the hallway.
“No one saw me. Can I please come in?”
I took him by the hand and pulled him inside, wrapping my arms around him before I even closed the door.
“I missed you, too, but let me close the door,” Cade chuckled. I heard the door click shut and his arms wrapped around me. “Goddess, Princess, you’re shaking. What’s wrong?”
Cade picked me up when I didn’t respond and laid us down on the bed. I sniffled as I buried my face in his neck. Cade held me close, rubbing soothing circles on my back until I finally fell back asleep, nightmare-free.
I woke up first, which was unusual. I never woke up without an alarm. Cade was sleeping next to me on his stomach, one hand reaching out to touch me, resting on my hip. He looked so blissfully young and unburdened this way.
What was I going to do when he left? He was supposed to get an answer on the offer to the property yesterday, but the call didn’t come. He’d been working hard over the last few weeks, organizing contracts for building houses and a pack house the moment the bid was accepted and the keys were handed over. All he needed was a yes, and his world would right itself, while mine would be in danger of crumbling without him.
Last night was just further proof that I’d gotten too attached when I shouldn’t have. It didn’t get lost on me that I hadn’t had a nightmare since we started sleeping in the same bed, and on the first night alone, it came back with a vengeance. Was it really any wonder why I didn’t want my family to know I was fucking another alpha that was going to leave me soon?
I left the bed myself as carefully as I could. I needed to put some distance between us. I still had a pack to run after he was gone, and I needed to be ready to do so. I showered and walked down to help Charles and Lindsay with breakfast. I was early, but they had a schedule now and I knew what was needed. Elim and Adrien found me there a while later, chopping like mad as I worked through my thoughts.
“If you chop those mushrooms any smaller, you should just use them to make me a beef Wellington,” Adrien joked.
“How did tonight go?” I asked, not in the mood to laugh at his jokes.
“We’ve got a plan that should work. I’ll be borrowing Chris tonight and, if we’re lucky, the thing should be dead before the night is over,” Elim answered.
“Good. I don’t need injured and panicked pack members,” I replied, perhaps a little more curtly than I should, and instantly regretted it.
“I’ll do my best, Luna,” Elim answered.
“I know you will.” I sighed, knowing I was being rude for no reason. “I appreciate how much you’ve been tracking that thing, and all other stuff you’ve helped with. I just don’t think this pack can take another hit.”
“Everything okay, Bells?” Adrien asked, sitting down next to me and grabbing another knife to help.
“I’m making it work.” Was the best reply I could give him.
“You’re not wearing Helios’ bracelet,” Adrien pointed it out.
“I can’t find it.”
“I should have brought shit with me. I didn’t think,” Adrien answered.
“I haven’t had any issues unless you count shit luck.” I shrugged.
“I’ll still see if Helios or Zi can send some protection charms with whoever is coming to pick me up later. Not sure if they can make them in time, though.”
“Thanks, Adrien.”
“Of course, sweetie. I wish I could do more,” he answered, grabbing the bell peppers and beginning to chop.
“Getting that chimichanga away from my pack is more than enough,” I assured him.
“Chupacabra,” Adrien clarified in a sing-song voice, while Elim laughed at my choice of words.
“I don’t like calling it that. It’s ludicrous. If I have to call it something, I rather go with something equally ridiculous, like chimichanga.”
“That’s what I said,” Elim chuckled.
“You’re calling it chimichanga, too?” I totally came up with it now, but it’d be nice to know I’m not the only one with a sense of humor.
“No. I don’t like calling it by its name. I call it demon dog. I’m going to bed. See you guys later.”
Poop, it could have totally been a bonding moment.
“How’s he been doing?” Adrien asked once Elim was gone.
“He’s great. Always willing to help.”
“And, with Violet?” Adrien asked.
“You caught onto that?” I smirked.
“It wasn’t hard to see.”
“As far as I know, he’s been respectful of every boundary she set until she was comfortable with him. He had a little crush on her, I think, but didn’t take advantage of when Chris and Violet had issues, and even helped them get back together.”
“Sounds like you guys have had an interesting nine weeks.”
“Goddess, has it only been that long?”
Adrien chuckled at my words, but it honestly felt like they’d been here forever.
“Can I ask you a question?” I asked.
“Of course.”
“Violet said you’ve been avoiding her for a year. Do you really blame her for what happened to Tori?”
The smile slipped off Adrien and I felt bad asking, but the need to protect my little sister was higher than my need to spare my cousin’s feelings.
“No. I was blaming myself, not realizing she thought I blamed her. Kassie told me a few weeks back. That’s why I volunteered to come. We talked it out earlier tonight.”
“Why would you blame yourself?”
“I told Tori it was a good idea to take her to the movies.”
“But—”
“I know, Bells. But, it’s hard not to think those thoughts. I couldn’t look her in the eye and tell her what I did, and see the blame in her eyes, too,” he took in a deep breath and smiled at me. “But like I said, we cried it out last night.”
“Are you staying up until breakfast?” I decided to change the subject. I didn’t want him to dwell on those thoughts.
“No, I’m pooped, but I demand dinner with Adam.”
“You got it. You’re going to love him.”
“If he’s important to you, I already do.”
Adrien left after Charles and Lindsay showed up. Shortly before breakfast, Cade walked down, dressed in his usual jeans, flannel shirt, and cowboy boots, his Stetson in his hands. He looked nervous and worried. When his eyes met mine, he nudged his head toward the alpha offices.
“I need to get some work done, you guys good here?” I asked Charles and Lindsay.
“Yes, Luna.”
I washed my hands and cleaned up my station, dread settling in my bones as I approached my office. This was a no-win situation. One of us was going to be crushed after this conversation. I entered to find Cade pacing. He stopped when he heard me and looked over my way.
“Hey, are you okay?” he asked.
“Yeah. What’s up?”
“You scared me last night. What happened?”
“Just nightmares. Sorry to worry you.”
“You don’t have to apologize, Princess.”
“What happened?” I changed the subject.
“You were shaki—”
“I mean, why did you want to speak right now?” I clarified.
“Oh...”
“Did you hear back from the real estate agent?”
“I did.”
“And?” I asked, trying to sound excited for him.
“They accepted the offer. If everything goes well, we should be spending Christmas in the new pack grounds. In trailers likely, while they build, but it’ll be a start.”
I swallowed the sounds of my breaking heart and put on a smile.
“I’m so happy for you, Cade! It’s great news.” Ten weeks. I had less than ten weeks before I was alone again. “You should celebrate with your pack!”
“I want to celebrate with you,” Cade whispered, pulling me into his arms.
“This is worthy of a pack celebration.” I shook my head, pulling away. Cade frowned but I tried to smile. “I have to wake up, Adam. Why don’t you plan a big celebration with John? Tomorrow is the full moon. It’s the perfect time for it.”
I left before he could stop me, and was in tears by the time I made it to Adam’s room.
Pull it together. Now’s not the time to fall apart.
I took a deep breath and woke up my little boy, reminding myself I wasn’t actually going to be alone.
“Hey, buddy. Time to be up and have some breakfast.”
“Can we go see Coco first?”
“No. After daycare. That was the deal.”
“But—”
“We have a date tonight, too, so we gotta behave. My cousin Adrien wants to meet you.”
“Okay!”
I chuckled. It was so easy to stop him from having his temper tantrums. He never hung on to what he couldn’t have for very long. I could learn to be more like him, but even as a kid, I doubted I was this easygoing.
Breakfast was hard. John and Cade were talking to Violet and Chris about their plans for the property, and how happy they were to have found a place in Arizona. I tried to smile through the whole thing, but I wasn’t sure how well I was pulling it off.
These last nine weeks, the loneliness that had been my constant companion for the last eight years had finally retreated. Now, Cade and John were leaving. I was losing Lindsay before Christmas. I doubted Violet and Chris would remain here for that long. This was only supposed to be a three-week stint that she had already extended twice.
Adam and I were going to be alone again. Shit. Adam. How was he going to react when he learned all of them were eventually going to leave?
I worried about the what-ifs all day, somehow managing to avoid being alone with Cade. I could see he wasn’t happy that I wasn’t speaking much, but I was too busy trying to build walls around my heart and figuring out how to keep the pieces of my life and my pack intact after he left. I even volunteered to help hunt down the demon dog so I wouldn’t have to go to bed tonight.
I picked up Adam a little bit earlier today with the excuse that I wanted him to get ready to meet Adrien. As I was getting his bath ready, I got a text from Violet.
Vi
Is everything okay? You seem off today.
Me
I’m good. Just nervous about the plan tonight.
Vi
Why don’t you just come hang out with me?
Me
Nah, I want to see this thing over with. The more people that help the better.
I played battleships with Adam while he had his bath. Enjoying the time that was just us. I felt a bit more settled afterward. He and I went through the wringer alone for a full year before anyone came here. We were going to be okay. He was starting school next year. He wouldn’t have time to miss them with all the friends he was likely to make.
“Hi, Adam! I’m Adrien. It’s nice to meet you!” Adrien waved as we approached the table in the dining room. He was holding a little stuffed Count Dracula, making me chuckle.
“Hi!” Adam approached him without hesitation.
“I got this for you.” Adrien held out the toy.
“Cool!”
“You didn’t need to bribe him, Adrien. Kids love you.”
“You have way too many cousins, Bells. I need to get a leg up.”
“He’s got you there, Bells,” Violet laughed.
I laughed along, but all I could think about was how many of them had come to visit me in the last eight years. Two? Maybe three of them? The attack last year didn’t count. I always knew they would come when shit hit the fan, but hardly any of them visited me outside of that.
After dinner, I took Adam up to play with the rabbit and then put him to bed. Cade was waiting for me outside of his room when I came out.
“Can we talk?” he asked.
“I can’t. I’m helping Elim catch the chupacabra,” I told him, cringing at the name, but Cade would look at me as if I were losing my marbles, if I called it a chimichanga while he was trying to have a serious conversation.
“What if I want to chupa your cabra?” Cade asked, wincing as he realized the absurdity of his statement. I giggled, despite all of my internal conflicts. “I didn’t think that one through.”
“Nope. You certainly didn’t.” I walked over to my room to change into something more mobile and ready for fighting.
“You’ve been avoiding me all day, Princess.”
“I haven’t. I’ve been busy. There’s a lot riding in the next few weeks, Cade. I can’t afford to let anything fall through the cracks.”
“You’re going to burn yourself out, let me help.”
“I did fine for a full year by myself. You’ve got a lot on your plate, too. Concentrate on your pack and all the plans you have for your new pack grounds. I’ll be fine. I promise.” I was lying through my teeth. I hadn’t been doing fine by myself and I didn’t know if I was going to be fine when I was alone again, but that was my problem.
“Bells, wha—”
A knock on the door caught us by surprise.
“Who is it?” I called out.
“It’s Elim. We’re getting ready to go.”
“I’ll be there shortly.” I finished putting on my clothes and turned to Cade. “I have to go. I’ll see you in the morning.”