Chapter 46
CHAPTER 46
PEN
I stare at Elijah, wondering if I heard him correctly.
I remain silent and let him speak.
“That Christmas, Darra expected me to propose. I told her I didn’t love her, that I wanted to concentrate on my swimming and our business, and I ended our relationship.”
The blood freezes in my veins, the hairs on my arms standing up.
“Darra played me. I’d always been super careful with contraception, but as she pointed out, it’s never one hundred per cent.”
I put a hand to my mouth as my stomach roils, and I swallow against the obstruction in my throat.
“But you had a DNA test,” I say. “Jaxson told me.”
I’d always questioned in the back of my mind, Darra’s convenient pregnancy, but I’d never been able to prove it.
“A friend of her father’s switched out the DNA sample or simply paid him to lie. But it was forged, that much I do know.”
A trickle of sweat runs down my back.
“If you aren’t Lottie’s biological father, who is?”
Elijah shrugs.
“I don’t know, and I don’t particularly care.” He covers my hand on his arm with his. “The moment she was placed in my arms, she became my daughter. And now she finally is. As part of our divorce settlement, Darra allowed me to adopt her. Lottie is now officially my child.”
I suck in a breath. This is one bombshell I would never have guessed. Elijah loves Lottie, always has.
“When did you find out?”
Elijah gets up from the table and clasps my hand, leading me to the sofa. He pulls me down to sit next to him.
He interlinks our fingers, almost as if drawing my strength. I squeeze his hand, holding it tight in mine, encouraging him to continue.
“It was after Lottie and Darra were in the car accident.”
I close my eyes for a second.
Fuck, I remember that night well. That was years ago. He’s known all this time?
“Darra was out with friends. She’d been drinking and wrapped the car around a tree. Lottie had received a head injury, and they thought she may need surgery. They tested my blood to see if I was a match should she need a transfusion.”
The picture unfolds in front of me. Elijah waiting to see if his daughter needs surgery. His wife already in surgery, having her leg rebuilt.
“The doctor came out. I’ll never forget. He took me to one side and asked if I knew.” Elijah’s matter-of-fact tone is not something I’m used to. “I asked him what he was talking about.”
“And it was then he told you?”
Elijah’s eyes are unfocused as he relives the moment.
I squeeze his fingers, his eyes clearing as he looks at me.
“He was incredibly kind. I was in shock. I asked him not to mention it to any of the other members of my family. I lied. I told him I knew but hoped I’d be a match. He knew I was lying, but let it go.”
“What did Darra say when you confronted her?”
He lets out a harsh laugh.
“Told me I needed to forget I ever knew. If I didn’t, then she’d take Lottie, and I’d never see her again.”
“Could she have done that?”
He nods, pressing his palm to his mouth before letting it drop.
“I didn’t have a claim to Lottie, not a biological one. If Darra, as her mother, decided not to let me in her life...” He pauses, and my stomach clenches. “I couldn’t lose my daughter, Pen.” He all but whispers. “And there were other threats.”
I can only imagine. Darra has no scruples.
I move closer, turning our joined hands so our forearms are now touching. Elijah’s is double the width of mine. I’m beginning to understand his obsession with the gym. This happened years ago. Lottie was five or six at the time of the accident. Nearly ten years of being held to ransom. Having the one thing, you love more than anything in the world, used against you. If I hated Darra before…
He looks down at where our arms are touching.
“So that’s what I did. I continued on, although I never touched her again. We were together in name only. Keeping up appearances for the sake of our families. I threw myself into work, and she…well, I think everyone knows what Darra has been doing?”
“So you really have no clue who Lottie’s biological father is?”
Elijah shakes his head.
“I think it’s someone who was there that Christmas. The dates tied up, but I don’t want to think that one of my friends could have betrayed me.” He sighs. “By the time I found out Lottie was mine, I wasn’t giving her up, whatever the cost. I don’t care who her biological father is. They haven’t been in her life, weren’t there for her birthdays, or when she grazed her knee. I taught her how to ride her first bike, showed her how to swim. Knowing Darra, they may not even have known. She may have simply used them as a sperm donor.”
My stomach threatens to expel my dinner at the thought.
I knew Darra was single-minded. When she set her mind on something or someone, in this case, there was no stopping her. There was a time when I felt sorry for her. One night, she and I had our one and only heart-to-heart. I thought she was finally accepting me, allowing me into the group. She told me about her relationship with her dad. How he controlled their family with an iron fist. How she feared him. I don’t think she meant to expose as much as she did. The next day, I told her I was there for her if she ever needed to talk. She looked at me with pure venom in her eyes. After that, her vendetta towards me took on a whole new level. Not that I ever told Elijah or the others. She relished telling me she was the one who paid the guy to sleep with me and spread rumours. He apologised to me after Elijah and the others spoke to him. Admitted to running up enormous debts while at uni, and when he was offered money he couldn’t turn it down. He told me it hadn’t been a hardship, that he really liked me…
Heat floods my body, and I clench my jaw. That was a pain I locked away, a lesson I learned about keeping my feelings and personal life close to my chest. Should I have said something then? I knew Darra was obsessed with Elijah, but to trap him in a lie. I can see now it wasn’t love. It was a single-minded determination that she wanted him and was going to have him no matter the cost. Would I have believed she could get herself pregnant and pass the child off as his? Until now, no. I would not have thought even she would stoop that low, but—she hated me, blamed me for Elijah turning his back on her. She told me as much that Christmas. That our business venture was driving a wedge between them.
The time Elijah is talking about, we all spent the post-Christmas week together. The Frazer household had been a party hub.
I think back.
Was Darra paying attention to anyone other than Elijah?
He and I spent a lot of time together, locked in his father’s office. We’d started planning for the future. We were caught up in our own excitement. Robert and Francesca had just agreed to back us, if we put together a proper business plan. They promised to help us set up a potential investors meeting. My stomach flutters at the memory. I remember the camaraderie we shared that holiday, one that had continued into the next term, had led to us getting closer. It was at that time I realised I’d fallen hopelessly in love with him. Darra’s bombshell detonated in the March, and life changed forever.
I lean forward and wrap my arms around Elijah, resting my head above his heart.
He engulfs me in his arms, his hand rubbing soothing circles on my back.
“Does Lottie know?” I ask, pulling back and looking up at him.
“She overheard Darra and I arguing. She ran to Gabriel and Leah. They’re the only two other people who know.”
I look up, wondering why she didn’t come to me. As if sensing my question, he smiles sadly.
“You were out of the country. I checked your place first when she disappeared.”
“You haven’t told the rest of your family? Your Mum?”
I sit up and stare at him.
He averts his gaze, and I cup his chin in my hands until his eyes meet mine.
“Do you think your family would love her any less?”
His chin dips to his chest, his posture slumped.
“Elijah Frazer. Your family is the most accepting family I’ve ever met.”
He grimaces, and it’s then I see the truth.
“But you know that,” I say, as realisation dawns. “You were protecting Darra.”
He nods.
“Why?” I stare at him open-mouthed.
After everything.
He pulls back and stares at me.
“It was bad enough, I knew. Imagine if the rest of them found out. They would’ve wanted to protect me. I might have lost Lottie because they wouldn’t stay out of it. It wasn’t a risk I was willing to take.”
My heart breaks for the man before me.
“So you shouldered this knowledge alone. Oh, Elijah.”
I wrap my arms around his neck and pull his lips to mine. He comes easily and sinks into our kiss, deepening it until we’re both breathless.
“I’m sorry, Pen,” he says. “I messed up everything.”
“Never be sorry. Thank you for confiding in me. And no one is going to hear the truth from me. But I think now the divorce has gone through, you need to tell your family.”
I don’t add that it will help them to understand the distance you put between you all.
Instead, I straddle him and let him know everything is going to be okay.