Chapter 48
CHAPTER 48
PEN
M y intercom chimes.
“Danika?” I say.
“Lottie’s here to see you.”
I smile. “Send her in.”
I get up and walk to the door, throwing it open as my goddaughter makes her way towards me. It’s been a week since she returned and when she said she didn’t mind about her father and me, it appears she meant it.
“Hey, this is a lovely surprise.”
She looks at me and grins.
I usher her into my room and close the door.
“Homework, advice, or just a can’t-stay-away from my favourite godmother trip?”
Lottie laughs, and the sound warms my heart. She’s been doing that a lot more easily lately.
“My art work has arrived, and I wanted to know if you would come and see it,” she tells me.
“Absolutely, count me in.”
Her smile widens.
There’s a knock at the door, and Danika enters carrying two steaming mugs of coffee.
“Coffee?” I say to Lottie
She raises an eyebrow in much the same way Elijah does. Okay, they may not be genetically linked, but bloody hell, they are father and daughter.
“I’m almost fifteen and spent the past three months in Italy.”
As if that explains it all.
“Not to mention, every one of your uncles and aunts is a coffee addict,” I say smiling.
I thank Danika and take the coffee, leading Lottie over to the sofas in the corner of the room. The whole office ethos is casual. I find it helps with creativity. We have lounge areas, beanbags, and a games room with old and new style games. The main office is open plan, but there are also break-out rooms should anyone want to focus. So far, this approach has made me a very wealthy woman.
“Your offices are much cooler than Dad’s,” she says, taking a sip of her coffee.
She flinches slightly, but I say nothing.
“Of course they are,” I say. “Although designing games and developing hardware allows us to be a little less stiff. Your dad has to give his clients the right professional atmosphere when they visit.”
Lottie nods. “I know, but it’s still not as fun.”
“Well, as you know, you’re welcome here anytime.”
Lottie looks down at the coffee mug in her hand, her forehead wrinkling.
I pause, knowing her artwork and loving my office is not the reason for her visit.
“Aunty Pen?”
“Yes, Lottie.”
She looks up, and I watch as she bites the inside of her cheek.
“You know you can talk to me,” I say.
She nods and puts her coffee down on the table in front of us before letting her eyes meet mine.
“You knew Mum and Dad when they were at uni.”
It’s more of a statement than a question.
“I did. Your dad and I were on the same course.”
Lottie goes silent.
“Hey, what’s on your mind?”
I place a hand on her forearm. Lottie looks at me, and I’m surprised at the anguish I see in her eyes.
“Come on, you can talk to me.”
She always has before, especially when things were bad between her mum and dad. I was that much further removed than any of her aunts and uncles.
She inhales, pushing her hair out of her face as her eyes lock on mine.
“Do you know who my bio dad is?”
I stop sharply, a knot forming in my stomach.
“No. I don’t,” I say, squeezing her arm where my hand is still resting.
“Dad has told you, though?” she presses.
“Only recently,” I admit.
Fuck, I’m treading on dangerous ground.
“Have you spoken to your mum, your dad?”
She shakes her head. “I tried to speak to Mum while I was in Italy.”
Lottie wraps her arms around her waist.
“Mum said Dad is now my dad. He officially adopted me as part of their divorce settlement. She said I need to forget what I overheard. But is it really surprising I want to know where I come from? Dad will always be my dad and Mum my mum, but?—”
Shit. Bloody hell Darra.
This is not something I can be involved in. This is between Elijah, Darra and Lottie. Elijah will skin me alive, and the last thing I need to do is get on Darra’s bad side. It’s not that I know any more than anyone else.
“Maybe Mum slept around behind Dad’s back and doesn’t know. That’s why she palmed me off on Dad.”
Fuck, that is the last thing Lottie needs to think!
Bloody Darra. Does she not realise Lottie’s growing up? Of course, she has questions.
I put my arm around Lottie’s shoulder and pull her into my side.
“Have you spoken to your dad?”
“I can’t do that. It would hurt him. He’ll think he’s not enough.”
She bites her lip, her eyes filling with unshed tears.
“Not if you explain to him. Your dad is a very pragmatic man,” I say, although I understand her predicament.
But shit, this is putting me in an awkward position.
We sit in silence for a moment.
“Is it wrong I want to know where I came from?” she asks eventually. “Don’t you ever wonder about your dad?”
I suddenly realise why I’m getting these questions.
I pull back and turn towards Lottie, taking her shoulders in both my hands.
“Knowing your bio dad is not necessarily all it’s cracked up to be. Take it from someone who knows,” I say, knowing I sound cynical, but I want Lottie to realise there are often two sides to a story. “I’m going to let you into a little secret. Nobody knows this. Only Danika.”
Lottie sits up straight, inclining her head.
“Not even my dad?”
I shake my head.
“Why does only Danika know?”
“Because she’s my friend as well as my PA and was here the day it happened.”
I let go of Lottie’s shoulders and we slump back on the sofa, facing one another.
“I met my bio dad.”
“You did? When?”
“About twelve years ago,” I admit. “Even my mum doesn’t know this. Like you, I didn’t want to hurt her, but I think maybe I should tell her.”
“I promise not to say anything,” Lottie says, grown up beyond her years.
But years of being surrounded by adults will do that.
“Thank you. But I think it’s time I told her, anyway.”
“So you met your dad?” Lottie prompts.
“I did. It was just after I made Woman of The Year. Dawson Technologies had taken off. I’d made my first million. I was an up-and-coming star, according to the newspapers.”
“So what happened?” Lottie asks, leaning forward slightly.
“My dad turned up at my offices,” I say. “I knew who he was. Mum told me when I was younger that they wanted different things. What she really meant was he didn’t want a child. He had plans, and they didn’t involve a child or baby-mummy cramping his life.”
“What did you do?”
“I didn’t want to make a scene, so I invited him into my office. I wanted to see what he had to say for himself. Part of me was inquisitive. And like you, I wanted to meet the man who helped create me.”
“You get it then?”
“I do. More than you know.”
I refuse to lie to her. But I hope my punchline will help her see. Finding out isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.
“Why do I feel there’s a but coming?” Lottie asks.
I smile sadly.
“What did your father say?” she presses.
“He introduced himself. Told me he read about me in the newspaper and was proud of me. Told me I had two younger brothers. He said he was a computer programmer, had gone out into the world and made something of himself, and that I must have got my skills from him.”
Lottie rolls her eyes, and I chuckle.
“My thoughts exactly,” I say. “Anyway, we drank coffee and ate some biscuits. Then I asked him why he’d never tried to contact me before.”
“What did he say?”
“He spluttered a lot.” I smile and raise an eyebrow at the memory. “He then told me he hadn’t been ready to have a child when mum had announced she was pregnant.”
Lottie’s mouth drops open. “What did you say?”
“I asked him whether he thought Mum had been ready to be a single parent.”
I pick up my coffee and take a sip.
“What did he say?” Lottie asks.
“He spluttered a lot more.”
“Have you seen him since?”
I shake my head and give her a small smile. “No.”
Lottie stares at me, and I shrug.
“Do you think I should leave it?” she asks.
I squeeze her arm. “I understand you have questions. That’s natural.”
She wrinkles her nose.
“My advice is to speak to your mum again,” I say, praying this time Darra is more forthcoming with her daughter. “But Lottie, remember a parent is the person who is there for you, who loves you. April will tell you that. Although Sarah’s come back into her life, her relationship with Di and Julian hasn’t changed.”
“All I know is I was conceived during the Christmas holidays. When you were all at Granny and Grandpa’s. Were there any other men hanging around?”
“No, there were only us. The usual suspects.”
“It sounds like you used to have fun together.”
“We did. So much fun. Until those holidays at uni, it was always just Mum and me. Your grandmother knew my mum worked long hours, so she gave me somewhere to go. It’s how your Aunty Kat and Uncle Gabriel became such good friends of mine.”
“Were you in love with Dad when you were at university together?” Lottie asks, her eyes watching me more closely than I’d like.
Damn, this girl is perceptive!
I stare at her, weighing up the odds, deciding I’m never going to lie to Lottie.
“I’m going to decline to answer that. Your father and my relationship was complicated. All I will say is we were best friends, and nothing ever happened between us.”
“But you loved him,” she says, her voice tinged with a hint of sadness. “Well, I’m glad you and Dad are together now. I haven’t seen him smile so much in a long time. I don’t think… ever. He and Mum just made each other unhappy.”
“Grown-up relationships are complicated.”
“It seems like grown-ups like to make them complicated,” Lottie says.
I sigh and smile. “You might be right.”