CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR
Yesterday, I said goodbye to Lisset. She was more than ready to head off to camp, ecstatic that two of her closest friends are attending the same camp. I’m sure she’ll love it and return bursting with happy memories and new friends. But it was hard seeing her off. Harder than I expected. A blue Monday made even bluer by her absence.
This morning, Gideon showed up at my front door with a strong latte and a disarming smile and somehow managed to sweet-talk me into coming with him to walk Uno, an element of their everyday routine I’ve managed to avoid so far.
We’re fifteen minutes into the walk and already I feel my mood lifting. The sky is a cornflower blue above us, the sun already starting to scorch the air. Summers are my happy place. Watermelon-stained fingers. Warm, languid nights and cool sheets. The hypnotic hum of ceiling fans. Barbecues and tanned, relaxed bodies.
I lift my face to the sun and stretch my arms above my head, contentment coursing through me. I’m glad I agreed to accompany him. This is what I needed.
Abruptly, I stop in my tracks and look around. I’m walking alone.
I look behind me and there Gideon is with Uno, ambling along. Ambling !
Frustrated, I make my way back to him. “I thought you said this was a walk.”
“It is a walk.”
“But you’re strolling.”
“No,” he corrects me. “You’re marching.”
“I’m...striding. It’s good exercise.”
“We’re not here to exercise. That’s a different thing entirely. I asked you to join me on a walk, not a speed race.”
I frown. “But the walk will take twice as long at your pace.”
“That’s the point. We can soak up our surroundings while we enjoy one another’s company.”
Uno nudges my hand. I pet him distractedly.
“But why do something slowly when you can do it quickly?” I ask, trying to make Gideon see reason.
He simply stares at me, a quirk to his lips and a gleam in his eyes. “Not everything has to be rushed, Kate. Some activities are worth doing slowly.”
My cheeks heat under his intense gaze.
“Now come here, woman, and walk by my side.” He circles an arm around my waist and pulls me to him. “I want to hold your hand.”
And he casually takes my hand as if it’s no big deal, weaving his fingers through mine.
“Have you always had a beard?” I ask Gideon as Uno tugs on his leash and makes a beeline for the long-suffering tree at the end of the street, extravagantly marking his territory.
“I’m usually clean-shaven,” he admits. “I’ve only had this beard for the last year or so.”
“Why the change?”
He shrugs. “Something different, I guess.”
“Do you like it?”
“I’ve gotten used to it. More importantly, do you like my beard?”
I go up on my tiptoes and whisper against his lips, “I like the feel of it on my skin.”
His eyes heat. “Do you now?” he murmurs, before capturing my mouth in a long, leisurely kiss.
Gideon’s right, I discover. This relaxed, unhurried way of taking a walk, particularly with pleasurable distractions like kissing along the way, is a lot more fun.
Toward the end of our walk, we bump into Jedediah Clarke, former chain smoker and champion swimmer. At nearly eighty, having lived in Brown Oaks all his life, Jedediah is somewhat of an institution in the town.
The instant he spots us, he snatches up his miniature dachshund and holds the dog tightly to his chest.
“Good evening, Mr. Clarke,” I say brightly, ignoring the scowl on his face.
I once made the mistake of calling him Jedediah and he very quickly dressed me down. “This is Gideon Walker.”
In a quavering voice, Jedediah asks Gideon, “Your dog going to bite my little Maybelleen?”
“Uno doesn’t bite,” Gideon reassures him
Jedediah, however, doesn’t look convinced.
“Uno’s on a leash,” I tell him, and Gideon holds up the leash so he can see for himself.
“You’re not holding it tightly enough.”
Gideon obligingly tightens his grip.
“Greyhounds are sight hounds,” Jedediah says, his rheumy brown eyes fixed on Uno. “That one will rip little Maybelleen to pieces.”
Gideon and I lower our gazes to the dachshund, sharp white teeth bared in a snarl. It looks like little Maybelleen can handle herself okay. Uno appears to agree with us. He’s pressed unhappily against Gideon’s leg.
I glimpse Gideon biting his lip, struggling to contain his laughter. “Uno’s passed his temperament test,” he says, in a bid to reassure the elderly man. “You don’t have to worry about him.”
“I’m not taking any chances,” Jedediah retorts.
I muster a wide smile for him. “Well, you have a pleasant evening, Mr. Clarke.”
“I doubt it will be pleasant after this,” he mutters as he walks away.
Deep breaths, I tell myself. Yes, he annoys me. He annoys nearly everyone in town. But his wife died six months ago and they were married for over fifty years. I can swallow my annoyance and try to show kindness to a cantankerous old man who, as far as I know, has not shown much kindness to anyone.
I look away from Jedediah to find Gideon watching me, as if captivated. He frames my face in his hands. “You can deny it until you’re blue in the face,” he says, his words a low rumble, “but you, Kate Miller, have a soft and caring heart.”
For the next three weeks while Lisset is away at camp, Gideon and I live in our own protected bubble. We text late into the night. Take impromptu walks with Uno. Blast pop music while we cook dinner together. We binge-watch crime dramas and alternate between debating deep subjects to talking trivia while we sip wine on the porch. I soak up all the little moments and store them away—Gideon’s deep laugh, his bear hugs that block out the world, the shoulder massages after a grueling workday, and his quiet gazes that say so much.
We kiss everywhere. All the time. I can’t get enough of him, and he can’t get enough of me. Kissing feels like breathing for the two of us. It’s consuming and scary and thrilling all at once.
We finally get our romantic second date at a fine dining restaurant with white tablecloths and candlelight. It’s lovely and intimate and the food is exquisite, but as we’re strolling down a lamp-lit Main Street toward our car, I say to Gideon, “Is it wrong to say our first date is still my favorite?”
Gideon smiles. “I thought there was something wrong tonight. I didn’t once have the urge to vomit.”
Laughter rolls out of me. “It looks like nothing can top the Unique Food Museum.”
We are both making a concerted effort to keep things light between us. No mention of the future or what our official relationship status is.
One Saturday morning, Gideon surprises me with a hot air balloon ride. Happiness swells inside me as I take in the breathtaking scenery while Gideon’s body curves around mine like its sole purpose in life is to protect me. My mind unfurls the memory of my first glimpse of him, how threatened I’d felt by the sheer size of him. Now all that power and strength is there for my benefit.
On Sunday, there’s the usual weekly family lunch at my parents’ house. I decide not to bring Gideon with me. But as I talk and laugh and play board games with my family, it feels strange and somehow wrong to be there without him at my side. When I return home, I head immediately over to his house and launch myself into his arms as soon as he opens the door. His arms come around me and he kisses me as though I was away for days and not hours. I know he’s missed me as fiercely as I missed him, but I can also see, lurking under the surface, that I’ve hurt him.
Later that evening, we’re sitting on his porch, drinking iced lattes in the sweltering heat of a summer night, when Gideon asks me quietly, “Are you ashamed to be seen with me? Is that why you didn’t invite me to your family lunch?”
“No, of course not,” I say. “I just...I don’t know...I want it to be the two of us for now.”
His jaw is tight. “I don’t want to be hidden away like a guilty secret.”
“It’s not that.” I can’t fully meet his eye. “But if you get involved with my family and we don’t work out, then it can get messy.”
There’s a flash of something unsettling in his eyes, but it’s gone quickly. “Why won’t we work out?”
“I’m not saying we won’t, but sometimes life happens,” I tell him in a low voice. “Not everyone gets a happy ending.”
“I’m going to be upfront with you, Kate. I’m falling for you. And I’m falling hard. I’m all in here.” His words are level and precise, and the look in his eyes tells me he means every single one of them. “I want it all. You. Lisset. Your family. I want your insecurities and your complications. All your hard edges and the demons you fight. Everything. I’m not afraid of the bad, of the parts you keep hidden.”
I shake my head. Even if he does mean it now, eventually it would all be too much and then he’d walk away. Just like Oliver.
His hand finds its way to my jawline. The look in his eyes is so tender it puts an ache in my chest. “I can handle complicated and messy. You and Lisset are worth it.”
I inhale a frayed breath. “I really, really like you, Gideon. It’s scary how much I enjoy being with you, but I can’t—”
He cuts me off. “I know you’re not ready to give your all to me just yet. But you don’t know my determination or my patience. I will pursue you. And I will wait for you.”