Chapter 26
TWENTY-SIX
Emily wasn’t sure when she’d fallen asleep for good.
But she’d been out all night, the mental exhaustion pushing her into a deep sleep.
She hadn’t left her room the rest of the evening.
As far as she knew, Will hadn’t tried to come in again, nor had Sienna or Blair.
She rolled over to see the slip of morning light peeking above the horizon and tried to decide if the heavy night’s sleep had given her any better perspective, but she was still just as confused.
She pushed the covers off her legs and went into the bathroom.
Smudges of makeup streaked her face, her sundress was wrinkled from sleeping in it all night, and her hair was knotted on one side.
She stared at her unsightly reflection. With no clear answers still, she turned on the hot water in the shower, letting the steam fill the room.
She slipped off the sundress she’d never changed out of and stepped under the stream.
As she lathered her hair with shampoo, her life with Will flashed before her like a slideshow.
She recalled their better times together.
He’d taken her out for a nice dinner in Nashville for Valentine’s Day with Blair and Rocko, and they’d laughed so hard at something she couldn’t remember now that she’d almost spit her wine all over the table.
The next slide was Rocko—a tall, broad, imposing man—looking on last night with quiet awkwardness, when he used to make her laugh whenever she and Will double-dated with him and Blair.
Tyson hadn’t been much better. He kept shifting, full of discomfort as Sienna squeezed his hand.
Wanting to get their faces out of her mind, she rewound the clock, attempting to focus on better times.
She dipped her head under the water. The shampoo slid down her back as she ran her hands through the strands, the memories coming relentlessly.
Then she remembered when she and Will had gone out to a fancy restaurant because her twenty-sixth birthday had been on a Tuesday and, with their busy schedules, he’d forgotten, so he’d made it up to her the following Saturday.
As she applied conditioner, little things she hadn’t picked up on before slowly came back to her.
Like the Christmas she’d really wanted a charm bracelet.
Nothing fancy, but she’d had her eye on it.
She’d hinted like crazy, showing him the silver charms—a coffee mug, a little stack of books, and a tiny cross—and when the holiday came, he’d given her a couple new sweaters instead, confessing that he hadn’t known what to get her.
And when she’d had presentations at the school board office a couple of times, he’d never asked how they went, even though she’d always asked him how his songwriting sessions had gone.
She’d teased him—something about the creative brain and how he forgot things.
But today, those little moments held more weight for her.
Now they seemed like quiet disconnections that had eventually led to his final betrayal.
But her conversation with Patrick last night whispered to her:
“It is resolved.”
“I don’t think it is. I think it feels like it is.”
Will had never been the type to spend all that money on a fancy ring.
So why now? In her anger and pain, had she misread his attempt to woo her last night?
Had something changed in him? Would he be a better man?
Surely a big ring didn’t ensure that he’d be more attentive, and she’d never wanted anything flashy.
But was the gesture his way of saying he was ready to put her first?
And even if it was, did she want the new-and-improved Will?
Emily finished her shower, toweled off, and got dressed, trying to squelch the panic that had risen.
She’d wanted to divide her old life and her new one into nice, neat sides, but this morning, the two sides were interwoven and tangled, and she couldn’t unwind them.
She wasn’t a new person as she’d thought, but rather a bit of the old and the new.
And Patrick had been able to see that before she had.
She tried to push it all out of her mind as she applied lotion and combed out her wet hair.
Her stomach rumbled. Having skipped dinner, she was definitely in need of sustenance.
Quietly, she opened the door and padded downstairs.
She was the only one up. An orange glow hovered over the horizon through the kitchen window as she loaded the coffee pot and clicked it on.
White light illuminated the dim kitchen when she opened the wide stainless-steel fridge to assess her breakfast options.
She pulled out the carton of eggs and then dug around in the cabinets until she found a pan, spatula, and dishes to cook with.
With a pop of the gas stove, she lit the pilot light and set the pan on the burner to warm. The coffee pot gurgled behind her. She cracked two eggs into a bowl and whisked them with a fork. They hissed as she poured them into the pan. She turned down the heat, then poured herself a cup of coffee.
Emily stood barefoot on the cool tile, scrambling the eggs.
There had been a time when mornings like this were part of her rhythm.
She’d regularly asked Will to come over for breakfast before he went off to write.
And she’d made breakfast according to his preferences, waiting to cook until he’d arrived at her apartment, never considering his silence while she prepared their food as he scrolled his phone, or the messes he never helped clean up, that she’d never mentioned, chalking it up to his mind being full of creative ideas.
Then, he’d brush her cheek with a kiss and hurry off.
But now, in this unfamiliar kitchen, with its fancy appliances and chef-grade tools, the morning was entirely hers.
She didn’t need anyone’s approval to have eggs, to fill her coffee mug first. Will’s state hadn’t even occurred to her, even though he was right upstairs.
While she struggled to completely tease out the new version of herself, a different inner growth had been discreet and gone unnoticed, like something unfolding on its own schedule, only revealing itself this morning.
As she continued to scramble the eggs, she realized she didn’t have to worry about Will, Patrick, or anyone else.
And she recognized a brand-new feeling of belonging—to herself.
Her tether to her old expectations—her timeline for getting married and having kids—didn’t matter anymore. And it was freeing.
She turned off the stove, plated her eggs, and took her coffee to the table.
The warm, nutty flavor of the coffee soothed her as she sat with her hands around her mug looking out at the view of the Gulf.
Seagulls dipped into the water as the orange sky turned pink before the electric-blue sky began to emerge.
“Hey.” Blair’s voice sailed over to her.
Emily set down her coffee. “Hi.”
Watching Blair walk around with her phone again was a welcome sight. She’d been doing that more and more lately, and it was good to see her getting back into the swing of things.
“How are you?” Blair asked.
“Decent.”
Blair offered a smile that looked like relief and moved to the coffee maker. “You sleep okay?”
“Despite the drama, like a rock. I can’t believe I missed all the action last night. What did you all do after dinner?”
Blair poured a mug of coffee and came over to the table, setting her phone down beside her.
“Well, we went out to the pool for a while and talked about how long the guys wanted to stay at the beach—I think they might stay through today and leave tomorrow. But the whole time the atmosphere was kind of weird.” She leaned in and whispered, “Will had to clean up all the rose petals, and while he tried to participate in conversations, I can guess he was embarrassed by how things went. He hung around for a little bit and then went upstairs.”
“He can’t expect me to fall right back into our old life,” Emily said, shaking her head.
“When he did talk, he asked a lot of questions about Patrick.”
“I’m a grown—single—woman. I can do what I like.” She didn’t have to tell Blair that, but defensiveness swelled anyway.
Blair nodded in encouragement. “When he went to bed, Rocko and I hung out with Tyson and Sienna for an hour or so. It was clear we all wanted to discuss what had happened, but no one was going to with both of you upstairs to possibly overhear.” She ran her teeth along her bottom lip as if deliberating something.
Emily offered a questioning look.
“Before Will went to bed, we heard him crying in the bathroom. He seems to really be struggling with this.”
Unsure of how to respond, Emily busied herself with her coffee mug, taking a long, slow drink.
She could go back to her regular life. Will would probably be incredible…
for a while. But would things go back to the way they were?
And if she did go back, would she be able to manage her wild thoughts every time he canceled their plans on short notice or decided to go to the gym?
But then again, should she just give up on everything she’d built with him if he was truly sorry for what he’d done?
The tangled sides of her were fumbling for a clear answer.
“What’s going on in that head of yours?” Blair asked.
Emily set down her coffee and rubbed her forehead. “I don’t even know.”
“Wanna change the subject?”
“Please.”
Blair picked up her phone. “Well… Rocko and I had a heart-to-heart last night, and I finally relaxed, and we…” Her eyebrows bobbed.
Emily let go of the other things she’d been thinking about and focused on her friend. “Oh, that’s wonderful. You feel okay?”
“Yeah. I think I needed time, and then we were here, away from our real lives, no service on our phones, completely set apart from the world. It was just the two of us, and it was so nice.”
“I’m thrilled for you two.”
“Thanks,” Blair said, her chest rising blissfully. She practically glowed. “I can’t believe it. Sienna finally told Tyson they’re expecting, and the same night, Rocko and I were able to connect like we used to. Maybe there’s something magical here.” She waved an arm toward the view.
Emily wanted to offer a cute comment to include herself in that magic, but when it came to The Broken Hearts Beach Club, she was the final surviving member, still racked with indecision and confusion.
“Maybe,” she said, not wanting to get back into it.
“And…” Blair swiped open an app and turned her phone around. “I posted.”
On the screen was a photo of all of them from behind, sitting together in their sundresses on the beach.
Emily reached out and took the phone to read the caption.
Introducing The Broken Hearts Beach Club, a small association with only one entry requirement: A shattered heart and an incredible sense of humor.
One of us lost a baby.
One of us is changing her perspective.
One of us is learning to live on her own terms.
But somehow, here we are! Sunburned, salty, and still managing to laugh. Grief brought us together, and storms ripped through us, but this spot is where we remembered that healing takes time, open hearts, and sandy feet. I’m doing okay. And I promise to post more soon.
#BrokenHeartsBeachClub #Grief #Healing #SaltyAndStrong
Emily raised her eyebrows at the responses. “Twenty-one thousand likes, 5,684 comments, and 432 shares? I’d say your first step back into social media was a success.” She handed the phone to Blair. “Congratulations on a wonderful returning post. How do you feel?”
“I feel amazing. You know, talking to Julia really changed things for me.”
Immediately, Emily’s mind went back to her time with Patrick on the sofa at Julia’s that stormy night. She pushed the thought away, not knowing what to do with the flutter in her chest.
“I wish we could repay her for her kindness somehow,” Emily said. “A gift seems too small for what she did. But I don’t know what would be a good gesture.”
“Maybe we could offer to have them all come to Nashville sometime,” Blair suggested.
“Maybe…” Her pulse quickened at the idea of Patrick showing up on her turf.
“Good morning.” Will’s voice floated over to them.
It felt out of place.
He opened a few cabinets, found a mug, and poured himself a cup of coffee. “Mind if I join you two?” he asked.
Emily shrugged, a pinch forming immediately in her shoulder. She rubbed it, unsuccessfully managing the tweak, and peered out the window.
Will took a seat next to her and nodded good morning to Blair, who offered an uncomfortable smile in response.
Blair, too, had lost something in all this.
She and Rocko had been their best friends, and Will had ruined that as well.
It had to be weird for Blair to try to be kind to Will while also supporting Emily.
“I’ve been up for a while,” he said. “I was looking online to see if anything was open. The boardwalk has been cleared for the public. I thought maybe we could all take a walk later.”
“Sure,” Emily said, completely disconnected.
In all honesty, she needed some fresh air.
Sitting with Will felt oddly suffocating.
With him next to her, she waffled between feeling sorry for herself and wondering if she was the crazy one for not accepting his apology and at least trying to move forward.
A part of her felt bad for him. He seemed to be trying.
But he was the one who’d put himself in this position.
His actions had caused irrevocable changes, and she didn’t know if they could ever be what they were again. But could they be something new?
Maybe it would be worth working through her feelings and spending some time with him to see if she could get a handle on things.