Chapter 25
Chapter Twenty-Five
LIVIANNA/LILY
Now
Soft Lights everything I’ve ever dreamed of. These creations know exactly what they want to be.
“They’re beautiful.” Pride swells in my chest even though I don’t remember designing any of them. “I really did this?”
“You really did.”
The praise should feel good, but instead it lands hollow. Looking at these designs is like admiring someone else’s work. I can appreciate the skill without claiming ownership of it.
“Can we keep going?” I back toward the door. “I think I need to see the rest.”
“Sure.” Callum leads us out.
We make our way to the upper level and end up in my bedroom. It’s massive.
There’s a king-sized bed with white linens, floor-to-ceiling windows, and a sitting area I probably never use. There’s a balcony off the room with views of my backyard and the ocean in the distance.
I sink onto the edge of the bed, testing the mattress.
“Lily?” Callum hovers near the doorway, like he’s not sure if he’s allowed to enter.
The question forms before I can talk myself out of asking it. “Have we ever had sex in here?”
“No.” The single word hangs between us, but something flickers in his eyes.
Heat. Want. Something raw that makes my stomach flip.
“Why not?” I stand, closing the space between us. “You said we reconnected recently. So…?”
“Lily—”
“Are we together or not?” I stop a foot away from him.
His shoulders tense, and his breathing picks up when I move closer. The muscles of his chest flex as if he’s fighting himself.
“What’s the problem, Callum?”
His voice drops lower. “I’m trying to do the right thing.”
“Which is what? Keeping your distance?” I reach up, fingers grazing his arm. “Standing in doorways instead of coming inside?”
His hand catches mine. “You just got out of the hospital, Lily. You’re hurt and confused, and—”
“And I want you.” My stomach spins and my insides fill with warmth. “I love you, Callum. I want you and you’re acting like that’s wrong somehow.”
“It’s not wrong.” He closes his eyes like he’s in pain. “It’s just…”
“Just what?”
When he opens his eyes, the desire I glimpsed before has intensified. It’s right there in the blue depths, wanting me, fighting himself, and losing the battle with every second.
“Complicated,” he chokes out the word. “Everything about this is confusing.”
“Then let’s change that together.” I close the final inches between us. “Kiss me.”
“Lily—”
“Please.” My palm flattens against his chest, where his heart hammers. “Just kiss me and make me feel like something in my life still makes sense.”
His hands come up to frame my face. Gentle. Reverent. Like this is a moment he’s been waiting for.
“You don’t understand what you’re asking.” His forehead drops to mine. “If I kiss you right now—”
“Then kiss me.” I rise on my toes. “Whatever you’re afraid of, we’ll figure it out…together. Isn’t that what you keep telling me?”
Something in him snaps. I see it happen: the second his control fractures and instinct takes over.
But I don’t wait for him to make the choice.
I kiss him first.
My lips find his, and everything else disappears. The house I don’t remember. The business I can’t recall building. The five years that vanished like smoke.
None of it matters.
Because this—his mouth on mine, his hands tightening in my hair, and the low sound that rumbles from his chest—this I know.
A shiver runs up my spine. My body remembers him.
I remember everything about him. The way he tastes. How he kisses like he’s been starving for it. The barely controlled strength in his grip that makes me feel protected and desired all at once.
He pulls back just enough to breathe. “Lily—”
“Don’t.” I chase his mouth. “Don’t think. Don’t talk. Just feel.”
His resistance crumbles. He kisses me harder, backing me toward the bed with a purpose that sends heat pooling low in my belly.
This feels right. More right than anything since I woke up in that hospital.
We hit the mattress. His familiar weight settles over me, and I gasp from the pain it causes.
“Wait.” He breaks the kiss, breathing hard. “Lily, we should slow down.”
“Why?” I find the hem of his shirt with my fingers and tug it upward. “Give me one good reason.”
He catches my movement, stilling it. “We haven’t done this in a very long time.”
I arch up against him, feeling exactly how much he wants this despite his protests. “Even more reason to, if you’re asking me.”
“That’s not—”
I roll my hips and he moans.
“Not what?” I reach for his shirt again.
He captures both my wrists, pinning them gently above my head. “You’re making this very difficult.”
“Good.” I lean up and take his lower lip between mine. “I don’t want to make it easy.”
A groan rumbles from his chest. “Lily—”
“Callum, I know my body.” I wrap my legs around his waist. “I know what I can handle. And right now I can handle you.”
His control fractures another degree. His grip tightens on my wrists, and his breathing turns ragged against my neck.
“You’re relentless.” But there’s heat in his voice, not accusation.
“You love it.” I grind against him again. “You’ve always loved it.”
“Fuck.”
“Exactly.” I kiss along his jaw. “That’s exactly what I want.”
His free hand slides down my side, stopping at my waist. “If we do this—”
“When we do this.”
His fingers dig into my hip. “I’m not gonna hurt you.”
“I know that. That’s why we shouldn’t stop.” I pull against his hold on my wrists. “Please don’t stop.”
Something shifts in his expression. The restraint cracks wider, and what’s underneath is pure need.
“You always did this.” His mouth finds my neck. “Pushed until you got exactly what you wanted.”
“And it worked, didn’t it?” My pulse races where his lips press against my throat.
“Every damn time.” He releases my wrists to pull my shirt up.
My hands immediately go to his waistband. “Then why fight it?”
“Because…” He stops moving, jaw clenching.
“What’s wrong?”
“I don’t wanna take advantage—”
“You’re not.” I kiss him hard. “I’m taking advantage of you.”
He pushes up and rolls off me. “Livianna, you’re covered in bruises.”
I sit up. “It doesn’t hurt that much, Callum.”
“That may be, but your doctor told me when he went over your discharge orders, you’re not supposed to do this yet.”
“Yeah, right.” I roll my eyes. “Just because I have a sore hip—”
“Your entire left side, from your ribs down to your thigh, is one black and blue canvas.”
He’s right. My left side throbs with every movement, and my head pounds like someone’s taking a hammer to it. But I’ve dealt with worse. Much worse.
“Callum, I’m fine.”
“That’s not true.” He rests against the headboard and slides a pillow over his lap, likely trying to hide his erection. “And you know it.”
“So what?’ I shift to get closer to him, ignoring how my ribs scream in protest. “I should just lie here alone because I have a few little wounds?”
“That’s not what I’m saying.”
“Then what are you saying?” I shake my head and growl. “Because from my point of view, you want me, but you won’t touch me. That’s confusing as hell, Callum.”
“The doctor specifically said no strenuous activity for at least two weeks. That includes sex.”
“Is that really what he put in the orders, or are you just trying to protect me because you’re scared you’re going to hurt me?”
“It was in the instructions.” His tone is gentle but firm. “You said you didn’t wanna deal with medical bullshit and told me to handle it. That’s what I’m trying to do.”
“Whatever.” Even now, the idea of sitting through a lecture about rest and recovery makes me want to crawl out of my skin.
“Lily, you put me in charge.”
“Okay, fine. Maybe I did say that.” I shift on the bed, and pain shoots down my hip. “But that doesn’t mean—”