Chapter 26 #2
“Guidance.” She smirks. “I’m sure that’s a nice way of putting it. Even though you say I did it all, I’m guessing my father strong-armed you into the mentorship. He’s good at volunteering people for things they probably didn’t sign up for.”
Greg chuckles. “I may have suggested it would be beneficial for you both.”
“Suggested?” Livianna raises an eyebrow. “Is that what we’re calling it now?”
The easy banter between them twists something in me. This is a version of her eighteen-year-old self. She’s playful and unburdened by the weight of what we built together.
She’s genuinely happy, and that’s the key for me to make it through losing her. As long as there’s joy in her life, I need to step aside.
“Your dad can be persuasive.” I consider what he just asked me to do. “But mentoring you was never a burden. And I’ll repeat myself. I mentored you because you opened up to me and shared your dreams. It was never because I was doing a favor for anyone.”
“Well, thank you for that.” She inches toward Cash’s side, still addressing me. “And for whatever magic you worked to help me build my business. From what everyone tells me, Lehlani Rose Designs is pretty successful.”
“It is.” I force down my desire to take her in my arms. “You should be proud of what you’ve accomplished.”
“It’s hard to be proud of something I don’t remember creating.” Her smile falters for just a second. “But I’m working on it.”
Cash’s hand finds the small of her back. It’s a subtle claim. A reminder that she’s his now and I’m walking a fine line for her mental well-being.
“We should let you two finish your meeting.” Cash glances between Greg and me. “Lily just wanted to stop by and say hello.”
“Thanks, Cash, but Jaxon and I are done.” Greg kisses her forehead. “But I have something I’d like to discuss with Cash in private.”
He tenses. “Yeah, sure.”
“Good.” Greg motions to the couch with a wave of his hand. “Jaxon and Livianna, sit. Jaxon, why don’t you and Livianna talk about her company? I’m sure she has plenty of questions for you.”
“I’d like that.” Livianna has a subtle limp as she moves toward the couch. “Jaxon, I’d appreciate all the help I can get.”
Greg and Cash leave the office, the door closing behind them. The silence that follows is heavy and awkward.
Livianna settles into the corner of the couch, leaving space between us. She tucks one leg under her and winces from the movement.
The yellow and green bruises on her face are healing, but they’re still visible reminders of how close I came to losing her forever.
“So…” She smooths her jeans with the palms of her hands. “Where do we even start?”
“Wherever you’d like.” I sit in the middle, needing to be as close to her as possible. “What do you want to know about Lehlani Rose Designs?”
She opens her mouth to answer, but nothing comes out. Her gaze drifts to something over my shoulder.
She presses her nails against her wrist where her scars from cutting on herself remain covered by rose tattoos she got after I suggested she let herself heal from needing to hurt herself.
There’s a sadness in her expression that wasn’t there before. Something about it has my protective instincts kicking in. I swallow hard and study her for any sign she’s regressing emotionally.
“Actually, can I ask you something first?” She brings her attention back to me.
“Of course.”
“The last time I remember being with you, you left me in tears. You didn’t seem to like me, so why did you help me?”
“Things were very different when we got involved.”
“How so?” She shifts closer to me, so close I can smell her sweet aroma.
“You went back to your old perfume.” It’s another reminder she’s not where I am—in love and wanting to be together. A lump forms in my throat.
“Yeah. It’s been my favorite for as long as I can remember.”
“Maybe, but you changed it when you lived in Paris.”
“Really? It’s interesting to me that you know that.” She studies my face, then sighs. “I guess it doesn’t matter.”
“Why would you say that?”
“I can’t smell it.” She shrugs, but the gesture is too casual. “I can’t smell or taste anything. The doctor said some fibers in my brain were stretched during the accident. They might heal eventually, but there’s no guarantee.”
“We…” I stop myself before the sentence fully forms. “I mean, you lost so much in that accident.”
Her eyes sharpen on mine for a fraction of a second. Did she catch my slip? But then she glances away, and the moment passes.
“Yes, I did. Five years of memories, the ability to enjoy food, and my sense of smell.” She picks at a thread on her rocker-style T-shirt. “It’s weird. Everyone keeps telling me about my past, but I can’t find the connection.”
The sadness in her voice cuts deep.
“How are you handling that?” I lean forward slightly, wanting to comfort her. “Emotionally, I mean.”
“I’m fine.” The answer comes too quickly.
“Livianna—”
“You know what the worst part is?” She gazes deep into my eyes. “I can’t even cry properly about it because I don’t remember what I’m mourning. How do you grieve a life you can’t recall living?”
“I don’t know.” I shouldn’t do this, but I need her to know how I feel about her. “But if you need someone to talk to about it, I’m always here for you.”
The room grows thick with heavy emotion. I stare at her, willing her to remember our love.
Just when her eyes flick with something that seems like understanding, she releases a laugh. “Jesus to Betsy. I never thought you would be treating me with such… You’re treating me like you like me.”
“I do.”
She stills and her cheeks grow red. “How did I win you over? Seriously. Tell me how our relationship came to be.”
“Well…” I shift an inch closer to her. “You interviewed with me in Paris for a spot in my mentorship program.”
“And…?” She leans sideways against the back cushions of the couch.
The movement brings her nearer to me. She’s not more than a foot away from me, so I don’t move.
“You had a panic attack during the interview and I walked you through it.” I relax into the memory.
I took her into my recalibration chamber and she fell asleep on my chest. What I’d give to go back to that time.
She sinks into the couch and sighs. “You did that before. Remember?”
I think back. “You mean the time on the balcony at your parents’ networking party?”
“Yeah.” She plants her hand near my thigh as if she’s reaching for me. “You helped me. It was the first time I had an anxiety attack, and I was able to come out of it without needing medication.”
“You know, you once told me medication didn’t work for you.” I glance at her wrists. “With all that you’re going through now, how are you managing?”
“I’m doing…okay.” She studies me as if she’s trying to figure me out. “But honestly? I’ve always felt safe when I’m around you.”
My heart stutters. Safe. She feels safe with me even though she can’t remember why. Even though her conscious mind has erased every moment we shared together.
“Livianna—”
The office door swings open. Cash and Greg step through and I force myself to rest back, creating distance that feels like miles.
Cash’s glare lands on her hand near my leg. He squares his shoulders as he takes in how close we’re sitting and how her body is angled toward mine.
“Sorry to interrupt.” Greg strides to his desk. “Cash and I finished our discussion.”
Cash stays frozen in the doorway. Livianna pulls her hand back into her lap and my chest aches from the loss of her closeness.
She stands with a smile that doesn’t reach her eyes. “Thanks for talking with me, Jaxon. It helped.”
Cash steps forward and wraps his arm around her waist with possession written across every line of his body.
“Just what did Jaxon help you with, Lily?”