Chapter 23 Presley #2
With the somber feeling in the room, I added to it, “If he shows up, we can’t trust the guards or the locks… Scotty was the one who set everything up.”
My dad was mid bite when he glanced over at my mother. A small smile tilted her mouth up while she moved her food around her plate.
“Kingston ordered for all the locks to be replaced, and all of Scotty’s men were…taken care of.”
That had me curious, but it also had some place inside swelling with pride.
I needed to talk to him and update them on what Dad had shared with me. If it were possible for Scotty to be working with Markos, then perhaps that’s where he was currently hiding.
The cows were still in the field when I walked past at sunset, but I remained firm in my resolve not to pet them. Gio was going to have to work harder than just playing the doting brother and pushing all my favorite things in front of me.
I had no idea if Kingston was in the barn or if either of them were in the house, which was my fault for never asking, but I knew they’d come around if I simply asked them to.
Well, Gio would…which left me with that stinging rejection invading my chest again.
Climbing the steps, I punched in the code the twins had set up for the front door.
As soon as the door locked shut behind me, I nearly sighed in relief.
The house was clean, quiet, and peaceful.
Warm light filtered in from the open windows, and soft music played from a speaker in the kitchen.
Secretly, I loved this place and felt like it was the one place on earth that was designed just for me.
For my soul to find rest, and my weary heart to finally heal.
Food had been made from the delicious smell, but from the empty counters, it had been cleaned up.
“Hey.” Kingston suddenly appeared in the kitchen with a white rag in his hand. His hair was wet, his shirt was gone, and his jeans hung low on his hips. He looked relaxed and at home. Greedy claws emerged from my heart, desperate to cling to the image and hoard it for later.
“Hey.” I set my phone down and slid off my shoes. “Where’s Gio?”
Kingston’s expression shifted the smallest bit. It was fast, but I caught the hint of anger that slashed across his features.
“He’s with Henry and El Peligro tonight. They’re going over a few things regarding safety protocols around the property.”
That was nice of him to engage in trying to keep the property safe. Although, that was also to keep his family safe.
I wanted to tell him about what I’d just learned at dinner, and how Scotty might be double crossing us.
I wanted to tell him that my dad had officially cut ties with my uncle, and I wanted to process that with my best friends, and yet I couldn’t figure out how to push the words out.
I was still so hurt, and while Gio had apologized and I could see myself talking to him, Kingston still hadn’t.
I must have been staring off into space because Kingston let out a scoff.
“You could pretend to care that he’s not here.”
My brows drew in as I tried to make sense of what he meant. “I do care that he’s not here…why would you even suggest that I don’t? I’m still pissed, but I thought I had made it pretty clear that I care very much that you’re both here.”
Kingston’s thunderous expression pinned me in place. “Oh yes. Sorry, you’re right…we’re your disposable cocks to be pulled out and used when you see fit, then tossed away the moment one of us gets sentimental.”
Oh, this asshole. Pointing at my chest, I argued vehemently, “Sort of like that moment you took my virginity, then rubbed it in my face that you’d only done it to defy Adrian. You used me first.”
“Would it even make a difference to you if I apologized because based how you’re treating us…how you’re treating Gio, it wouldn’t make a fucking difference.”
Memories of that night painfully flashed through my mind. “I wouldn’t know, Kingston. The only person who has tried is Gio. He’s the only one who has tried to get sentimental or apologize or do anything.”
“That’s fucking rich, Presley.” Kingston tipped his head back and laughed, then turned for the stairs and began climbing.
“It’s true!” I yelled at his back as I began to follow him. “Gio has been sweet and kind and cares.”
“You want sentimental?” He suddenly spun on me and reached for my hand. Yanking me forward, I practically tripped as I followed him to my bedroom, where he dropped down to the floor.
He pressed his fingers into the wood floorboard until one of them pulled up, and inside was a lock box.
“This is an exact replica of the gun you started carrying around at the ripe age of fucking eight years old. There’s one of these in every room, so you always feel safe,” Kingston snapped before revealing the back of the board.
It was a picture…a familiar picture burned into the wood.
“The photo you made when we were kids, the one of the farm…I had it turned into a stencil. For every room in this house, there’s one of these under the boards if not more.”
He dropped it back in place and then stood, searching the room with a frantic expression.
“I made sure your bed would have slide out drawers so we could keep wedge pillows underneath it. There’s practically an entire sex store under there if you look.
I made sure you’d have everything to make you comfortable for when the three of us—”
He trailed off, and it made my temper flare.
“See, that’s just it, Kingston. You lied about who finished this house for me.
You didn’t put a single plant anywhere in sight, as if you were trying to erase yourself from this house…
from me. You made an entire floor for Gio and stargazing and not a single greenhouse on the property for you.
There’s no garden anywhere. How was I supposed to know you’d done anything considerate where the three of us might be concerned? ”
He rolled his eyes and walked to the side of the room. “Well, if you’d drop that wall around your heart, then maybe you’d learn.”
I was starting to feel that familiar rage when he’d piss me off, and to get his attention, I’d say something shitty just to get him to lose control and fuck me.
But I was tired of our toxic circle. My heart hurt, and while I previously settled for his touch, now I needed his love.
Unfortunately, I was well aware of how that would go.
“Drop it so you can get away with what you did and not have to apologize?”
He blew out a heavy breath while looking down at the floor. “I figured the house would have been apology enough.”
My hands came up, roughly tugging at my hair as I stepped back. “Again, you didn’t take credit for it, King. You didn’t walk me through the house and show me all the tiny things you did. I didn’t know about the stencils, lock boxes, or anything else. You keep pushing me away.”
“Because you push me away,” he yelled. “Every time I think you want to get close, you do something that shows you’re only doing it out of spite or to use me for something physical. I know you’re punishing me, but how fucking long do you plan on doing it?”
His words stung so badly; I felt numb everywhere.
My voice rose but cracked, “You pushed me into Gio’s arms. You told me that I looked like I belonged to Gio, not you.
You were cruel to me, and when I did arrive, you didn’t even want to stay.
You still don’t. You keep going to the barn or sleeping apart from me, and it hurts.
It all feels like rejection. Like I’m still in that room watching you pull up your jeans after you just had your cock inside me, taking my virginity only to completely ruin me moments later. ”
A sob had worked its way into my speech, which made me embarrassed. Especially when he just stood there staring at me like I was pathetic.
“So, what is it that you want me to do, Presley? Want me to move in, fuck you every night, sleep with you but not expect you to like me, or want to be my friend? You going to shove your relationship with Gio in my face again? Make me hear you have sex first thing in the morning when I wake up or walk down into the kitchen and see you spread out like a fucking buffet, but only for my brother to enjoy?” he yelled, but a sob caught his words too.
“I want you to care! I want you to apologize and to move in, and to give me space to work out my hurt. If that means no more sex, then fine. We won’t touch anymore.”
He stepped closer, and I saw the way his eyes watered as he traced the space near my ear. “Touching you is all I have, it may hurt, but fuck, don’t take that from me.”
His eyes shuddered, and then a lone tear slipped down his face, which had my stomach clenching.
I wanted to say something, but he stepped even closer and whispered, “All I do is care. I care so much, I can’t sleep.
I can’t think. I am eternally frozen in this place where I broke you.
It was the worst thing I could have ever done, and I’m sorry.
You have no idea how sorry I am. I know I can’t fix it.
I can’t go back…I know you relive that moment each time we touch you. But you have to know how badly I—”
His mouth snapped shut, leaving me reeling for what he was going to say. Instead, he took a step back and ran his hand over his face.
“I need to know what you want from me.”
My shoulders lifted slightly as my own tears finally fell. “I don’t know how to communicate that. I don’t want you to leave me, but I’m also not ready to trust you. I don’t want to have to tell you to fix what’s broken. I just want you to find the pieces and put them back together.”
A fluttery panic swept through my voice as I confessed my insecurities to him. I hated how vulnerable I was being with him again, even after all that he’d done to me. Instead of anger or cruelty, he slowly nodded as if he finally understood.
“Then I ask that you stop hiding all of it. Let us see where you’re hurting, and all the shattering you’ve done since we broke you.
Don’t keep it bottled up. We can’t help unless we know how to.
Stop trying to hurt us by using us the way you are.
We care about you, Presley. We’re still fucking in love with you.
The way you just want to fuck us and forget us or pit us against one another is shitty and you know it. ”
With one last solemn glance, he turned around and walked out of my room.
I didn’t lock my door, but I did shut it, and then I curled up in a ball on my bed and I cried. He was right. I needed to stop self-sabotaging and start healing.
It was a terrifying idea because it meant I had to trust them again in order to do it.
Was that even possible? The truth scared me more than I wanted to admit.