Chapter One
R aven
Nine years ago...
The Mercedes pulled up to the curb and my heart leaped out of my chest. My eyes slid over to the stoic man in front of me. His hands were curled into fists, and his older face was hardened in place. I took a harsh breath and looked away. A lonely tear escaped and slid down my cheek. My chin wobbled and my lips trembled.
How could this happen?
I swallowed the lump in my throat, unable to catch my breath. She was gone. She's really gone . The fate I've been trying to cope with, to accept, was cruel. For her to be taken before her time, sliced me wide open with my scars on display for everyone to see.
I couldn't breathe. The idea of going through the world without her was too much. The driver opened the limo door, and I waited for Father to get out first. I didn't want to go. He couldn't make me. He couldn't force me to say goodbye.
But when he held out his hand for me, I grasped on for dear life. Our relationship was anything but simple. I hated him, and he hated me. We didn't have the daddy/daughter relationship most people had. In reality, Mother was the glue that held us together as a family. Now that she was gone...I cursed. Don’t go there Raven .
With every step, a piece of my heart broke. Every step, my labored breaths became more ragged and uneven. How dare she leave us! I was angry. So fucking angry with her. My emotions were all over the place. I assumed I was going through the five stages of grief. Denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. I was only on stage two. I sighed. I have a long way to go.
Father’s hand gripped mine and squeezed. I knew he was struggling. Hell, he loved her more than he ever did me, but that didn’t mean I forgave him. I would never forgive him for what he did to me. Fuck, what would life be like without her? It was already a shit show even when she was alive, but he would become even more of a monster now that she was gone.
He was a man nobody dared to cross. Since she was murdered, it was only a matter of time before he went nuclear on everyone. Whoever did this would no doubt pay for their sins in the harshest way possible.
Father was King and because of that, his presence alone would strike fear in anyone. He did it to me every damn day.
Up ahead, there were dozens gathered in a group. Colors of black and gray were mixed into the crowd, which only showed a small glimpse of how bleak and dreary the day actually was. I looked down at my red dress and shook my head. Way to stand out in the crowd, Raven.
No, she would have wanted this. She hated sadness and thrived on being happy, even though life was never perfect in our household. She would have wanted me to wear something that stood out. She always said I looked good in red.
"I can't do this-" I started, then goosebumps arose on my arms. I instantly stalled and knew who it was.
"What was that, Raven?" Father asked, his tone quivering.
I ignored him and kept searching. He was here. I knew it. I could feel him here. So why couldn't I find him? I needed him more than anything right now. He was life and I could only get air when he was around.
I continued to look for him, but couldn't place him among the individuals we neared. As we came closer, the crowd parted for us and my breath hitched. I stilled. My eyes remained glued to the black casket. There it was. There she was. A hiccup escaped my throat. No, no, no . She wasn’t here. She was gone. All that remained was a shell. How could a shell replace what we had lost?
Father’s concerned gaze met mine. I knew I had to do this for him, but I couldn't. Tears ran down my face freely, and all of a sudden, every emotion hit me like a ton of bricks. I couldn't process anything. My knees buckled, and I fell to the ground in grief.
A strong arm wrapped around my waist and lifted me to stand. "I've got her."
Father’s hand released mine, and my head was leaning on a familiar shoulder. He was here. Yet, there was no joy in that fact.
My teary eyes were glued to the casket as Father took his place in front of the crowd. Everyone bowed their heads in mourning for their Queen.
"Isabella..." he started, but stopped. This was tearing him from the inside out, just like it was me.
“My beautiful, sweet, and kind wife has left me here to care for our daughter alone. She left us. She took our hearts with her when she breathed her last breath. I will never love anyone the way I did her. As your Queen, she took on that role rather graciously. She took care of her people like they were her own children. She loved each and every one of you dearly. But the way she loved Raven and I..."
He swallowed and a sound of immeasurable grief left his body. My heart pounded in my chest and my stomach churned. As much as it pained me to leave the man I loved with my whole being, I moved out of his arms and took the last, grueling steps towards Father. I reached for his hand and his arm wrapped around me for support. Once again, my eyes found the casket.
It was a beautiful raven black, with a dozen white rose petals covering it. In the middle, a bouquet of lilies rested on top. Her favorite flower. Her picture was on a stand right beside it, and the image of her radiant posture and dazzling smile nearly broke my resolve. I shook my head and looked away. My gaze landed on Slade’s beautiful, steel-blue eyes as they seared me to my core. I wanted to go to him. To be in his arms and never let go. He was what I needed right now.
His gaze penetrated mine, almost as if he was telling me it would be okay. That he was here. For a moment, I almost felt better. Then, Father spoke once more, breaking the final dainty piece of my already broken heart.
His grip tightened on me as he met the gaze of each one of our subjects. "From this day forward, the Kingdom will have a new Queen. Our daughter, Raven Lily Alston, Princess of Amenida, is now your reigning Queen."
I sucked in a sharp breath and gaped at him. My jaw went slack. His gaze met mine sharply and looked away. What?! Why?! What the hell was he doing?
I turned away from him and peeked at everyone. Their eyes were wide, but they each showed acceptance. When my gaze met the only important one, his showed concern and...anger?
The urge to run away was fierce. I didn't want to be Queen. Not like this . I always knew I would take the throne eventually, but I didn't fucking want it at the weak age of seventeen. It wasn't supposed to happen, yet. Slade and I were supposed to finish high school, go to college and then come back and run the kingdom together. My parents were both on board with that. Father once again showed me that he controlled every aspect of my life. Son of a bitch.
My teeth ground together as a new emotion hit me when I peered at the casket. How could he do this on the day of her funeral? How fucked up was that?
My grip loosened on his as I took a step towards it. He kept talking, but I tuned him out, no longer caring. Angry tears fell down my face in graceful drops as he took away the last piece of Mother the world had left. He took it away and turned it into a political matter. How dare he!
When I reached it, I closed my eyes and started to sing our lullaby.
"Let the raven soar...high above the clouds.
Let the tears...drown out the sorrow...for tomorrow...we’ll forever be hollow.
As the raven takes her place on the throne, the world's rage will be lifted.
And the raven will forever be...broken ."
I never knew the true meaning behind the song...until now. I leaned over and rested my head on the case, letting it absorb my tears as I said a final goodbye to the person who gave me life.