Chapter Three
R aven
“How was your day at school, sweetie?” I asked as I moved around the kitchen. We had a cook, Mrs. Helga, but I enjoyed cooking. Every so often, I would make Julianna’s meals because I wanted to spend that time alone with her. Cooking was also very therapeutic, and it calmed my anxiety. In this crazy world, I needed that therapy.
Julianna’s big, blue eyes were full of happiness and her short, brown hair that I had tied in a bun earlier was falling down her face in little tendrils. She never came home from school the way she arrived. She had a tendency to mess with her appearance because she was tired or unfocused.
She popped a grape into her mouth and smiled. “School was great! Oh, guess what?”
Markus, one of our security details, tilted his lips at the corners. Just as she had me, she had every single one of them wrapped around her little fingers.
“What’s that?” I grabbed a medium-sized pan and placed it on the stove. I walked over to the fridge and pulled out the vegetables and pie crust that I needed. Helga had already gone home for the day and of course, had her containers full of prepared meals already in the fridge for anyone who wanted them, but I ignored them and continued to prepare mine and Julianna’s meal.
“Tomorrow is a show and tell!” She was such a bubbly four-year-old, and I hoped to keep it that way for as long as I possibly could.
A smile graced my lips. “And what is it you would like to take?”
“I wanna take the bunny Daddy got me!” The knife fell to the casserole dish with a clatter, and I turned around so quick I could’ve gotten whiplash.
“What did you just say?” My voice came out harsher than expected.
Julianna's blue eyes widened, but then went back to normal as she popped another grape in her mouth. She proceeded to grab her backpack and, as she unzipped it; she pulled out a bright, blue bunny.
My eyes immediately snapped to Markus. Help! If he had gotten to her at school, then they weren't watching her as well as we thought.
Markus kept his jade gaze on me as he spoke into his earpiece. A few minutes later, he was gone from the room. I was frozen in place as Julianna graciously went about eating her grapes and doing her homework. She didn't realize the kind of effect she had on me with her words.
Daddy gave it to me. She said it as if it was the most normal thing in the world, but it wasn't. Her daddy left us three years ago when shit had gotten difficult. In reality, I couldn't blame him for leaving. If I could have left, I would’ve in a heartbeat, but the truth was that I had no right to leave. This was a cage, and I was a chained raven. I wouldn't turn my back on my people just because I couldn't breathe behind my own walls. It was a sacrifice that needed to be made.
I tried to wipe the shock from my face and resumed dinner as normally as I could. "You saw your daddy today?"
She smacked her lips and talked while she ate. "Yep. Daddy came to visit me at lunch today. He ate with me and gave me a bunny!"
Her excitement shattered my heart. How could he do this to her? How could he visit her without my knowledge and expect to get away with it? More importantly, why the hell didn't he let me know he was back?
I was stiff the entire time I made dinner. My thoughts were elsewhere, and I was sure Julianna could tell.
"Damn, something smells delicious in here," Father poked his head into the kitchen and his face lit up when he saw Julianna sitting at the island.
He walked over and placed a kiss on her forehead as he took a seat next to her. When he saw me looking, he just nodded and averted his attention back to her. That was how it always was. Julianna came first, and I came last. I had no issues with it, really. Honestly, I would prefer all of his attention on her so I could breathe easier, but there was no way that would happen. Not with the fate of the country in my hands.
“How was your day, Princess?” he asked in that sickly sweet tone of his. The one he never used with me.
"It was great! I saw my Daddy today!" she replied with the same excitement she had earlier. I turned away from them, grabbed the pot holders and took the pot pie out of the oven. Satisfied it was finished, I turned off the oven and took out some plates.
Father grunted in distaste and the burn from his eyes was enough to set me up in flames, and not in a good way.
"Is that so?" he said through clenched teeth and probably with every ounce of self-control he had left.
In an attempt to create some sort of peace offering between us, I dished up his and Julianna's plates with a fork and napkin and placed them on the bar. I gulped when his hard gaze met mine.
To this day, he still scared the hell out of me, but for some stupid reason I’ll never understand, I still wanted his approval. After being held captive, forced to murder someone and tortured for the hell of it, it still wasn’t enough to please him. I was never enough for anyone.
Before Mother died, he was a kind, gentle soul. Of course, I didn’t know that kindness to the extent of others, but that’s what I’d heard around the kingdom. People had respected him while I more often than not, couldn’t stand him. But ever since she left us on this Godforsaken spit of land, Father turned back into the cold-hearted bastard I knew and hated. That everyone noticed. Not for Julianna, though. Never for her. He was the doting grandfather that could probably win a fucking award if he wanted to.
She was completely unaware of the tension in the room as she stuffed her face with food. "Yep. He said he's coming back for me."
My gaze snapped to hers, and an eerie chill covered my body in bumps. Father cleared his throat, and I turned away from them, unable to catch my breath. My daughter didn't lie, so I knew for a fact that every word that came from her mouth was true.
I placed my hands on the counter and tried to remove the tiny black dots from my vision. He was coming back...for her. Did that mean he was ready to take his place on the throne? Was he ready to be a family? What did this mean for me?
I swallowed the heavy lump in my throat. I couldn't gather enough air into my lungs and I knew from the heat of his gaze that Father was stewing and ready to give me the third degree. I had to get out of here, but I couldn’t.
“Julianna, why don’t you take your food into the living room? Markus will get you all set up with some cartoons; how does that sound?”
I turned back around and gave her a reassuring smile, even though on the inside, my organs twisted in knots. Her concerned gaze continued to stare holes in my soul. Julianna was the smartest four-year-old in the world and she knew just as well as I,, that what he had planned was not suitable for the child’s eye. She nodded and gathered her things. She left the kitchen without a word, leaving me to take his wrath.
He raised a dark eyebrow. “Did you know?”
I scoffed. “Of course I didn’t know. And even if I did, I sure as hell wouldn’t tell you!”
“That’s quite enough, Raven. The disrespect you have for your King is-”
I cut him off. “With all due respect, Father, you are not my King. You haven’t been since I was twelve. You and I both know Slade is the rightful King.”
His hands curled into fists as he slammed them on the bar. I flinched and took a step back, ramming my back into the granite counter. “He’s the one who left,” he said through gritted teeth.
I raised to my full height and challenged him. I knew this would get me backhanded, or worse, but he was delusional if he thought anyone could replace Slade. “Because you ran him off!”
He lowered his resolve and placed his head of dark hair in his hands. “That’s because I know what he did. I know he hurt you.”
I bristled. He knew nothing. “You have no idea what you’re talking about.” It’s not like he cared either; it was all for show.
He lifted his head as his gaze snapped back to mine, the fury he had moments ago now morphed into a blood rage. “No matter what you wish may happen, he’s not coming back, Raven. Get that out of your bloody fucking skull.” With that, he removed himself from the stool and left the room without another word.
Tears rolled down my cheeks as I fell to the ground in a lump. As much as I wished he was wrong, I knew he was right. Slade may have whispered those sweet words in my daughter’s ear, but he was never coming back. And even if somehow...in the future...he did come back, I knew it wouldn’t be for me. I would always come in second.
And that fact...well, it fucking hurt.