Chapter Eight
R aven
I sat in the back of the car fiddling with my hands while we waited for her to come out. I hitched a ride with our driver, Lewis, to come pick her up from school. Lewis was always the one to pick her up from school, but today, I figured we needed to have some mommy/daughter time before she found out from anyone else.
I chipped away at the red paint on my nails which was almost non-existent. Then when I grew tired of that, I went for another method. The biting method. Lewis glanced at me through the rearview mirror, and once he saw my finger in my mouth, he shook his head and looked away. Yes, it was very unlady like, and yes, it was not a Queen thing to do. But if he had a million knives stabbing his stomach repeatedly like mine, he would be doing the same.
I’d hoped I could convince Father to hold off, that maybe Slade would come back. But it was no use. He was determined to marry me off to Zeke, and I was determined to fight him until there was no fight left in me. Just because he made it final, didn’t mean that I had to completely give in. I would put on a show of course, but I wouldn’t let Zeke be my daughter’s new father.
There had to be another way around this. There just had to be. I shifted in my seat and started tapping my foot. My patience was waning. I wanted to get this over with. I was hit with a bit of nausea at the thought of telling her. I didn’t want to do this. I couldn’t be the one to break her heart.
I sighed and looked at my phone. Two-thirty. She should be coming out those doors any minute. My gaze roamed to the front of the car and Lewis was watching me through the mirror again. “Are you okay?”
He was one of my favorite people that worked with us. He was a little older, late fifties, to be exact. He was a dark-skinned man with short, curly black hair that was turning gray. He had the kindest hazelnut eyes. He’d been around for a long time, and I couldn’t think of trusting anyone else with my daughter.
I shrugged. “No. Unfortunately, I’m not. Will you take us to the park down the street from the school? I want some time alone with her. Away from prying eyes.”
He nodded. “Of course, Your Highness.”
I scoffed. “Please don’t call me that, Lewis. I know you need to do it in public, but around me and Julianna, just call me Raven. I hate formalities.”
He tossed his head back and laughed. “You’re just like your mother.”
A slice to the chest. What would she say? What would she think of her husband’s choices? Would she be on my side? Did she know his dark side and what he was capable of?
The front doors opened, and shortly after, Julianna walked out and was holding hands with her teacher. Her hair was once again falling down, and a grin teased the corners of my lips. She was my everything.
When I first learned of my pregnancy, I was horrified. But now that I had her and she was healthy, I didn’t regret a damn thing. I moved over to the left side of the vehicle as Lewis got out of the car and opened the back passenger side door. A breeze wafted through the car, and I reveled in it.
“Mommy!” She came to sit beside me and wrapped her arms around my neck.
“Hi, Princess.” I gave her a quick press on the cheek and helped her get buckled in.
Lewis got back in the driver’s seat and pulled away from the curb. After the initial excitement wore off, a frown graced Julianna’s beautiful face.
“What are you doing here? You never come to pick me up.”
Here goes...I wanted to puke. “Well, I was thinking we could go to the park and get some ice cream. How does that sound?”
Her eyes lit up. “Really? We get to go to the park and get ice cream? This is the best day ever!” She giggled and my heart broke. She wouldn’t be thinking that soon when I had to tell her my dreadful news. I gave her a forced smile and looked out the window. Why couldn’t Slade just come back? Why did he have to leave us behind?
The closer we got to the park, the more my heart hammered in my chest. Five ...Lewis turned on the blinker. Four ...We made a turn into the parking lot. Three ... Lewis found a spot in front of the playground. Two... Julianna unbuckled her seatbelt. One ... We got out of the car.
Julianna ran over to the jungle gym and immediately started playing. I took a deep breath and walked over to the bench covered in shade by the trees. Lewis followed me. I took a seat and placed my head in my hands.
“Are you sure you want to tell her today?” he asked.
I looked up and watched her play with the other children. “I have no choice. He’s insistent on doing this, and I don’t want her finding out from anyone else. That would be just my luck.”
He placed a hand on my shoulder. “It will be okay. You are one of the strongest people I know, Raven. You will get through this just like you get through everything else.”
I gave him a weak smile. I was grateful for the sentiment, but he had no idea about the battle we faced. Father would never back down, no matter how much I wanted him to. And Slade...well, I didn’t know what to expect with him. As far as I knew, he was gone, living life to his fullest, forgetting that he had a family waiting on bated breath for the slightest word from him. Then again, he had come to see Julianna. Maybe there’s hope.
“I’m going to walk the grounds and keep a lookout. Let me know if you need anything.” I nodded as he walked away.
I sucked in a sharp breath when Julianna came running up to me. “Mommy, I’m having so much fun!”
Here goes the dam. Tears welled up in my eyes and my lips quivered. A heavy weight pressed down on my chest when her beautiful smile transformed into a frown.
“Mommy, what’s wrong? Why are you crying?”
I wiped the corners of my eyes to remove any wetness that threatened to escape. I picked her up and placed her on the bench so she was sitting beside me. She bit her bottom lip before she made it pout. “Mommy, I want to go play.”
“I know sweetheart, but Mommy has something she has to tell you first.”
Her face scrunched up. “What’s wrong?” Her eyes grew wide, “Is it Grandpa?”
I shook my head. If only. “No, Grandpa’s okay, I promise.”
Her frown returned. “Then what’s wrong?”
I sighed and looked over at the children playing on the playground. Why is this so damn hard? I removed my gaze from them and returned back to Julianna’s expectant eyes.
Come on Raven. Just say it. Rip the bandaid off. “Mommy is getting married.”
Her eyes popped, and her excitement returned. I frowned. She shouldn’t be excited about this. “Daddy’s back? You and Daddy are getting married?”
Knife to chest. I did not expect that. I shook my head. “No baby. Your daddy isn’t coming back.”
A solemn, heartbreaking look overtook her features. “Daddy’s not...he’s not coming back? Then why are you getting married?” My heart broke further when I noticed the tears that had formed in my daughter’s eyes. Fuck you, father! Fuck you for making me break my daughter’s heart.
“Your grandfather thinks it’s best for me to marry someone to help rule the country. We need a King, and unfortunately, I am not able to rule on my own. So, I have to marry Zeke.”
Her blue eyes sparked, and her lip quivered. “The guy who's been living with us?”
I nodded.
Her shoulders shook. The tears were coming now. “But I don’t like him Mommy! He’s not Daddy! Don’t marry him, please. You belong with Daddy!” Her quiet whisper turned into a sob.
I gathered her in my arms, and silent tears ran down my face. “I know sweetheart, I know.”
A hiccup left her small lips. “I want Daddy! I want him to come back! Why doesn’t he love me anymore?” She shoved her face in the fabric of my flannel shirt. “Please come back, Daddy. Please !”
So I sat there...holding my daughter while she cried, pleading with a man that couldn’t hear her to come back to us. I didn’t think it was possible, but my love for him shattered a little more that day.