The Broken Queen

Chapter Twenty-Three

R aven

The candles lit up the dark bathroom as the water rushed from the faucet down into the soaking tub. Heat filled the room, and fog covered the mirror. Julianna was asleep, and my bedroom door was locked.

Today had been a day. I’d lost my journal. I was going to write in it earlier and realized it was gone. That journal was my therapy and noticing it was gone made my anxiety soar through the fucking roof. I looked everywhere and couldn’t find it. Someone had taken it. But who? Zeke? I had to find it because it had every nasty secret I’d been keeping for years inside. Including what happened during my training. My stomach coiled at the thought.

I couldn’t even revel in the fact that Father and Zeke were gone for a couple of days, and I wanted to. I wanted to sprint through the halls in happiness that they were gone for a while. They were horrible human beings who preyed on the innocent.

My mind drifted to Slade and Elijah showing their faces on the estate grounds. Did this mean he was going to show up more? Come around more often now that Father wasn’t here for a few days?

Blowing out a breath, I relaxed my posture and prepared for my bath. I needed to relax, and this was my go to strategy for doing that. The silk robe slid down my shoulders, and a slight chill caressed my skin, leaving a trail of goosebumps in its wake. As I lifted my leg and placed the tips of my toes into the water, a hiss escaped my lips when the heat scorched my skin. After the small shock, I put my whole foot in, with my body following shortly after.

A moan tumbled out of me as the water cascaded around my body, making it release all the pressure from today’s nonsense. The water continued to flow from the faucet, filling the tub as high as it could go. I moved my foot to turn off the water and sunk down enough to where my chin met the bubbles.

I closed my eyes and listened to the silence and the ripples moving from my fingers. There was something so serene about taking a bath. It could turn the most high strung person into a pile of jelly.

Sometimes I wondered what life would’ve been like if Slade never left. If he had stayed, would we have been happy? Or would Father still control us? What if we had just run off?

I needed the man like my last breath. He consumed my thoughts, dreams, and nightmares. The thought of his strong hands caressing over my skin sent a wave of heat rushing through my body. My mind wandered to that dark place where it was just me and him. A place on most days I never wanted to return from. I lightly shook my head. That place would always be a long, lost dream. There was no chance Slade would ever want me again, not after everything that happened between us.

My eyes opened when a hand covered my mouth to keep me quiet, but a scream came out anyway. A harsh, deep abyss of silver penetrated through my walls, silencing me. His stare made the heat of the water disappear into an icy bath. I was frozen solid as he went to his knees beside the tub and watched me with a predatory look on his face. I didn’t know what to think. Why was he here? Was he here to torment me? Did he want to remind me there would never be an us again? My mind raced with so many thoughts and he must’ve seen it written all over my face because he leaned in and recklessly devoured my lips with his. His tongue pushed past the barrier and he deepened the kiss.

The lower half of my body tingled with pleasure. His lips were pure ecstasy against my skin, and I honestly couldn’t live without him doing this to me every single day. The water moved as I tried to get closer to him, but he gently pushed me so that my back was lying against the porcelain. He tore his lips away briefly and made sure that I watched him dip his fingers into the water.

My toes curled with excitement of where I knew his hand was headed, and once his fingers touched that super sensitive spot, I lost all control. He gently rubbed my clit and my head fell back. His calloused fingers continued to caress me as he made his next move. I sucked my lip between my teeth when his lips took my nipple into his mouth.

“Ahh,” slipped out of my mouth when he bit down. I reached for him once more, wanting to drag his body in the tub with me whether he was dressed or not. Again, he refused and restrained my hands so they couldn’t touch him. He moved away from my nipple and stood up. The sudden loss of his touch made my high deflate.

I wanted him; why couldn’t he just give in to me? I opened my mouth to yell my frustrations at him, but his gaze met mine as he moved his fingers to the bottom of his shirt. My breath hitched when he lifted it over his head and went to unbuckle his belt. I licked my lips and stood up.

His gaze roamed over my dripping wet body, and after what seemed like hours of torture, he finally spoke. “Turn around.”

I swallowed the lump in my throat and did what he commanded. Nothing but the sounds of my labored breaths and his belt dropping to the floor filled the room. This man had me waiting on bated breath for him to make his next move. I didn’t want to be under his spell anymore, I wanted him to be under mine. Yet, here we were, me waiting for him to give the orders.

The water moved when his feet stepped into the tub. I wanted so badly to turn around and just let him ravish my body, but I waited. He was the King in my book after all, and while I was Queen, I needed to follow his orders.

“Put your hands on the wall, and spread your legs apart.” I did and waited. His hands landed on my waist, and without meaning too, a moan escaped. One of his hands slid down my waist until it made its way to my sweet spot. Within seconds, his fingers were pumping in and out of my pussy.

“Fuck...” I wanted to come all over his fingers but there was something I wanted even more than that. I wanted his cock inside of me, pushing in and out until we both came together. When I was with him, I never wanted him to stop. I wanted every single inch of his body pressed against mine.

“There are so many times I wanted to walk away, to ruin you. But you always keep me coming back. Goddamn it, Rav. You’re so fucking perfect.”

Just the sound of his voice made my body tingle with pleasure. I was willing to bend over backwards for this man if he asked.

“I want you,” I whispered. I sounded so fucking weak around him, but I couldn't be bothered enough to care.

“Then why do you give into your fiancé’s desires? Why not wait for me?”

I froze when those words poured a bucket of ice water on top of my body . He knew why. I had no choice in the matter, I was trying to do what was right for Julianna. Surely, he didn’t want anything to happen to our daughter. Why couldn’t he just understand that?

“You know why.”

He removed his hands and turned me to face him. His jaw ticked and I could practically hear his molars grinding together. "Are you trying to make this shit worse than it already is?”

Here we were, in the bathtub full of water, butt naked and discussing something I really didn’t want to talk about. Why couldn’t he just understand that? Until he made his move, or it was time for me to make mine, I had to let Zeke continue to think I was the luckiest woman in the world to be marrying him. I refused to let him harm one hair on my daughter’s head, so to keep her safe, I had to act like a fucking ditz.

“How much of a choice do I really have? I can’t continue to wait on you to do whatever the fuck you’re gonna do.”

His gaze hardened. “You need to wait.”

I gritted my teeth. “This place is hell. You have no idea what I am going through in this crap shoot.” My eyes teared up and my heart raced so hard I thought my chest would explode. “You were never supposed to leave me. You were never supposed to leave us.” He didn’t have a choice in the matter, he was dragged away from us, but he also called it off right before they showed up. He did leave me. I turned away from him and wiped my eyes. I sat on the edge of the tub against the wall. My feet were submerged in the water, but it was now barely warm.

It had been drilled into my head since a young age to never show any signs of weakness, yet this man stripped me bare right in front of him. He knew how to manipulate me to get exactly what he wanted.

“Do you want to know why I’m here?”

I lifted my gaze and met his straight on. “Yes.”

“Then get dressed.” Within minutes he was out of the tub, dressed and out the door. I was left sitting there wondering what exactly he was going to tell me.

I WALKED OUT OF THE bathroom completely dressed, and drying the ends of my hair with a towel. I stopped when Slade’s back was to me, staring out the window contemplating whatever was going on inside that head of his.

I was annoyed that one, I didn’t get what I wanted from him, and two, he ruined my bath. He wasn’t going to get out of it this time, he was going to tell me everything. It didn’t take him long to start talking.

He turned from the window and tossed a little black book beside me. My stomach dropped, and my teary gaze met his. He knew everything. There was no more hiding from him, no more trying to figure shit out on my own. He knew all the gritty details, even when I was defiled like a useless rag doll.

His gaze penetrated through mine. He was looking through me, seeing all of the cracks in my armor. I folded in on myself as the frightened twelve-year-old girl came out of hiding. I never wanted him to see me like this. That’s why I never told him. I didn’t want him to see me as weak and scared.

“You took my journal?” There was a quiver in my voice that couldn’t be mistaken for anything but fear and caution.

I had no idea what he was going to do next. Torment me with the information he found out? Make fun of me? Hold me? There were a million possibilities, and he was a closed book, so there would be no figuring it out.

He crossed his arms over his chest. “I saw it the other day and knew it had information I needed in there.”

I swallowed and looked away. He had no right. A woman’s journal or diary was supposed to be a private entity that no one could read. He violated that. “You got what you wanted?”

“Yes.” His voice was so deep and magnetic, he was luring me under his spell once again. But I couldn’t fall for it this time.

I stood up and wiped a tear. “Good.” I walked over to the door and opened it. “You can go, then.”

I couldn’t even look at him. So many emotions swirled through me, guilt, shame, anger, sadness, nausea. I had no armor to hide behind. He had stripped me bare, and I didn’t know how to feel about that. I just wanted him to leave, so I could think. Come to grips with the fact that he knew everything. I waited for him to leave but he didn’t budge. I waited, and waited, but he didn’t move.

“I’m not leaving.”

I looked over to him, still in the same spot he was and slammed the door. “What do you want from me? Seriously. To torment me? Kill me? What is it? I’m tired of playing this stupid game. Everyone wants something from me, so tell me what it is that you want.”

He ran a hand through his short strands. “I need your help, Rav.”

My heart did a little flip. He used my nickname, the one he gave me years ago. I slowly walked back towards him and took a seat on the bed. It felt different. He’d only used that recently when we were touching, but using it right now seemed like it meant more.

He needed my help? That was a first.

I licked my lips, “What do you need help with?”

“Taking down your father.”

Goosebumps raced across my arms, and a laugh escaped my lips. Had he lost his mind? That was a suicide mission. “You’re kidding, right?”

He shook his head, and took a step closer to me, enveloping my space with his woodsy scent. “I wish I was.” Could I do this? Would we make it out of tis unscathed? Did this shift mean he no longer hated me?

I narrowed my gaze. “What are you not telling me?”

“Nothing you need to worry about. I do need your help though, and I’m assuming from everything I read in that journal, you are on the same page as me. You don’t want him to be King, and you don’t want him to have any more power over you.”

“Fine. I’ll help you, if you tell me one thing.” My heart raced.

“What?”

“Why have you been so angry at me? Why didn’t you respond to me when you were in prison? I wrote to you every week and gave you updates on Julianna. I was trying to get in touch with you. To let you know that I hadn’t given up on you. Just when I thought I was getting a lead, you were gone. You disappeared from the world doing God knows what and couldn’t even tell me you were okay.” I blew out a breath, “I had to find out you were back from our daughter.”

He rubbed his lips together and took another step closer. “I blamed you for ruining my life.”

“I didn’t-”

“I’m starting to get that. I was taken away that night because I was framed for murder. I think your father framed me.”

My breath caught. So he did enjoy ruining my life. Not just mine, but Slade’s as well. Why did he hate us so much? What the hell did I ever do to him to warrant this kind of reaction?

All I ever wanted was to have a father that loved me. If it weren’t for Mother, I probably wouldn’t even be alive. After everything he had done, hearing that he framed Slade for murder was another hard pill to swallow. If he was the doting father like most parents were, I would see it as he just wasn’t ready to let me go, but that wasn’t the case.

“He seems to think I had something to do with your mother’s murder.”

My blood ran cold. What the fuck? I knew for a fact he didn’t have anything to do with her murder. I witnessed everything, and while I didn’t know who the sole perpetrator was, it wasn’t Slade. He would never do anything to harm her. He loved her like a second mom, they would’ve done anything for each other. That’s why it was so easy to love him.

I sat there in silence, not sure how to process his words. Did Father hate me that much? That he had to take away the one person who meant the most to me? My fucking life line?

“He accused me of murder, and I was sent to prison. I was labeled a traitor. There was hate mail, both prisoners and guards were doing their best to beat me to death because I “murdered” their Queen. It took awhile, but I had good people on my side who helped me fight for the truth. I was exonerated shortly after I escaped and now they are looking for the real killer. That’s why there was no communication from me, and that’s why I left so abruptly. At first, I thought you were the one who sent me there, and that’s why I was so angry with you that night. I broke it off with you and never wanted to see you again. I had every intention of getting custody of Julianna and taking her from this shit hole.”

Tears welled up in my eyes. My breathing grew heavy. Was that what he was still planning? Once this was all said and done, he was going to take my daughter away? Black spots invaded my vision, I couldn’t breathe. He was going to kill me one way or another and if he took my daughter from me, he might as well have shoved a knife through my chest. I grabbed onto the covers hoping I would get out from the attack I was currently under.

My body started to shake, and warm, strong arms wrapped around me. They held me in place, gently rocking me back and forth on the bed. My thoughts started to settle, my breathing slowed down, and my vision became clear.

Once I felt I could breathe, I pushed him away. I’ve asked him this before, but every time I thought about it, I got sick to my stomach. This was one of the biggest problems with people who had kids. It was the “are they going to take my kids away” question that lingered anytime they were around each other. He could say no a million times, but my mind would always jump to that. Especially with the current situation we were in. “Is that what your endgame is? To take her away from me?”

He shook his head, his eyes filling with an emotion I couldn’t figure out. “No.”

I let out a breath I didn’t know I was holding. Once that thought had gone away, my brain started to piece together certain things.

Prison? Father was so cruel he had my daughter’s father sent to prison and claimed a traitor to the kingdom? I couldn’t even imagine the type of things he experienced there. Being labeled a murderer was one thing, but supposedly murdering the Queen would grant him the cruelest form of torture possible.

I had so many questions. How did he get out of there? Who helped him? Did my people still think he was a traitor? There was one question that stood out the most, and I couldn’t help but let it slip past my lips. “Do you know who murdered her?” My heart raced. I wanted nothing more than to find that person and make him pay for what he did to her.

His eyes met mine straight on. “Yes.”