Chapter Thirty-Three
R aven
There was a pounding in my head as a warm light hit my eyelids. They opened slowly, crust surrounding them as if I’d been asleep for longer than a few hours. My mouth was dry, and my stomach was growling. The urge to pee was uncomfortable, but I was more concerned about where I was at and how I had gotten here.
I was laying in a king-sized bed, the comforter was a soft royal blue with specs of brown and white. My feet moved around in the silky sheets, as I stretched out my body from a deep sleep. I sat up, ignoring the static in my hair, and removed the comforter from my legs. Removing the crust from my eyes, I looked around and noticed there was no one in the bed with me. I also noticed that I had nothing on but a skimpy red nightgown. Whoever put me here sure liked the thought of me in red.
Was I in an alternate reality? Did that really happen with Slade last night or was I dreaming it? Temporarily ignoring my emotions, I quickly hopped off the bed and onto the hardwood flooring, running towards the first door I saw. When I turned on the light, a sigh of relief escaped me when I realized this was in fact the bathroom.
The bathroom had a large walk-in closet attached, so I made use of what I could find. There was a mix of girl and boy clothes, I assumed whoever lived here was a couple. The bathroom was massive. Just my style.
There was a soaking tub that had a separate shower. There were “his and hers” sinks, and a large window resting above the tub. Marble floors outlined the bottom, and granite countertops made the room look extremely elegant yet simple.
Home.
I shook off the weird thought and ventured out of the room. The crisp and greasy smell of bacon filled my nostrils. My stomach growled again, reminding me that I needed to eat. I couldn’t remember the last time I had. Oh, that smells yummy.
I wandered down the halls and the house became more familiar with each turn. I didn’t get to see too much of the house yesterday, but I could easily tell that this was Slade’s house. When I finally made it to the large kitchen with granite countertops, a massive island, dining table and enormous amounts of counter and cabinet space, I saw him standing at the stove, cooking. I quietly pulled out a bar chair and took a seat.
He had ESPN on the television in the background, and he seemed completely consumed with his thoughts. His back was bare, apart from the smooth tattoos that were tattooed across his back. A mix of his past experiences and tributes to his parents. He was a sight for sore eyes, and whenever I had him, I was lucky enough to call him mine. It was too bad though, that we weren’t at that point in our lives. That I had to give myself over to a monster, and that he left me all those years ago. Pining, waiting on bated breath for him to return. Leaving me a crumbled mess in that hallway, watching him being dragged off. Seeing the cold look in his eyes as if he didn’t give a fuck who I was.
I watched him as he moved around the kitchen like he owned the place, which he did, but watching him be a normal human being, was different.
The world around us expected so much from us growing up. I was supposed to be perfect in every aspect, and he was the golden boy. He could do no wrong, and he was on a fast track in the sports world if he would’ve kept up with it. He didn’t, though.
“You’re crazy. You can’t stay here for me. You wanted to go back home, to go to college there and get drafted. Don’t you remember that?”
We were back in my room after the ride home, and he was still going on about how he wanted to marry me. How he wanted to be a part of this crazy life.
I couldn’t see how anyone would want to be a part of this. Father had me trapped here, I couldn’t do that to Slade. He could go home and have a future back in the US. There was no future here. Just a world of heartache.
He shook his head. “You’re the most frustrating woman I’ve ever met. Why can’t you just get over the fact that I want to be with you?”
I turned away from him and went to my window. I opened the crimson curtains and pointed to the iron clad gates with guards surrounding them. “This...this is why. I’m trapped here...in this prison. He hasn’t let me out of his sight since Mother passed. Why do you think it will be so easy to persuade him? You’ve seen the suitors he’s been lining up for me. He won’t go for it.”
My stomach churned at the thought of going to Father and giving him the news. That Slade wanted to fight for me...that he wanted to marry me. Slade wasn’t royalty. Father wouldn’t like that. Slade wasn’t rich. Father wouldn’t like that. Slade didn’t have any ties to the Mafia. Father wouldn’t like that. There was a long list of things that while Father didn’t mind Slade being my friend, he wouldn’t settle for him becoming my husband and the next future King of this Kingdom.
He would lock me in the dungeon or sell me before that ever became a thing.
He came close to me, as if his proximity wasn’t enough to drive me fucking crazy. His silver gaze was focused, heated. His tantalizing lips were calling my name. I didn’t want to talk anymore, I just wanted him. I wanted him to touch every part of me. To drive me to the brink of insanity. “Leave it to me. Your father will change his mind about me, mark my words.”
He was so determined to have Father like him. I wasn’t sure why. He wasn’t a good person to have in your corner and if you did, he would easily stab you in the back. He did that to me, and I was sure he did it to Mother.
He leaned down to kiss me, but there was a knock on the door. He pulled back and ran a hand through his hair, taking another step back. I moved around him, my feet heavy, heading towards the door, holding my breath.
I opened the door, releasing that same breath, when the door swung open to Elijah on the other side. While I didn’t care for him, he was better than the alternative.
Elijah pushed through my room, completely ignoring the fact that I was standing right in front of him. I didn’t know what his fucking problem with me was. He was always rude to me. It didn’t matter that I was a princess, or queen or royalty for that matter. He didn’t give a fuck. He didn’t give a shit about me or who I was.
Father, on the other hand, scared the shit out of him. I found that out pretty quickly.
“I’ve been looking everywhere for you. Kyra’s been stalking me, man. What the hell did you do to her? She’s acting like a lost fucking puppy who has a broken heart.”
Of course he would come into my room saying that shit, trying to make me out to be the bad guy. Mostly because Slade broke things off with Kyra because of me. The two of them got into a heated conversation and I decided that was my time to leave. Even though it was my room, being in there with that asshat was not happening.
I left them in the room and took off down the hall. Sad thing was I didn’t have a whole lot of friends outside of Slade. Girls were too petty and jealous of my “lifestyle” and “friendship” with Slade to want to be close to me. If they wanted to be my friend, they would use me to get ahead. I had to close myself off to the world because too many people took advantage. This life, this secluded way of living Father forced me into was the worst possible way to live.
Something churned in my gut when I’d somehow made my way to the library. I stood in front of the closed door, just staring at it as if it would open on its own. I hadn’t been in here since the day of her murder. At one point, it was my favorite place to come, but when it happened, it tainted any good memory I had.
I wasn’t sure what, but something was calling me, tempting me to go back into that room. Maybe there was some clue I was missing from Mother’s death. The murder had never been solved, and I wondered if it ever would be.
With a shaky breath, I reached out and put my hand on the knob. The door swung open and I walked into the dusty room. Cobwebs were on the lamps, dust on the tables, books had gone untouched and that would’ve broken any reader’s heart.
Even with all the dust, the library was still as beautiful as I remembered. Being Mother’s and my favorite place, it was a hard pill to swallow. Her not being here to enjoy it anymore ripped me up inside. I never in my life thought I would miss someone as much as I missed her. It’s hard to function sometimes thinking about all the things she’ll end up missing.
There was a desk near the window that had sunlight streaming inside, and I went over to it. When I used to come in here, I never touched the desk. I wondered if there may be some clues on it so I could find out what happened.
What I really needed was to get into Father’s desk at some point. Yeah, as if that was going to fucking happen.
I rumbled through the messy stack of papers and of course, didn’t find anything useful. But then, I came across a letter.
To my beautiful and strong willed daughter,
If you’re reading this, it means I have left you and I’m so sorry for that. Leaving you alone in this world was never my intention.
I wanted to get my thoughts down on paper before something happened to me, so you knew what to expect.
My eyes were glued to the letter, wanting to devour it, but I heard footsteps coming down the hall, so I quickly stuffed it into my pants. I went to leave but ran into Elijah.
There was something about him that never really sat right with me. ”Can I help you?”
He smirked. “Yeah, watch yourself Queen.”
I rolled my eyes. Another one of his stupid riddles. “I don’t have time for this Elijah.”
We’d done this dance many times, but I never in my life expected what he was going to do next.
He came at me so fast that I didn’t see it coming. I was tackled to the ground with a loud bang, my head hitting the floor with a violent thud. One of his hands gripping my throat and the other trying to move under my shirt.
This couldn’t be happening.
“You may be a bitch, but you sure are a hot one. Maybe if I defile you now, Slade won’t want you anymore.” His fingers glided up my stomach and bile rose in my throat.
I wasn’t going to let this happen. I couldn’t let this happen.
I fought him, kicking, scratching and biting to get him off of me, but nothing worked.
I opened my mouth and screamed bloody murder at the top of my lungs.
Where the fuck was Slade? Why wasn’t he around to stop Elijah?
Panic continued to rise within me, but he was torn off me and thrown against the wall. I laid there for a minute, trying to catch my breath. I’d been put in horrific situations again and again, but I had never been in a situation where I had to worry about someone defiling me.
I slowly rose to my feet, dusted myself off and tried to fix the clothes he was messing with. I looked up and saw our bodyguard Markus standing over Elijah with a death glare on his face. He wanted to rip him apart, but instead he said, “Get the fuck out of here. If you ever come near her again, I’ll rip your fucking head off.”
Elijah ran out of the room like his ass was on fire.
Markus looked back at me, concern dripping on his face. “Are you okay?”
Tears welled up in my eyes and I shook my head. I would never be okay, and I didn’t think I could ever tell Slade how his best friend betrayed him like that. So this would be another secret I would never be able to tell him.
Elijah did say one thing that rattled my ears, and I think he was right. Slade would never want me if he found out the truth about this.
Seeing the pain written all over my face, Markus came and enveloped me in a hug and the tears started to flow. We weren’t super close, but he was someone I could count on. He was family. And I prayed that he would keep my secret, because I feared when it came down to it, Slade wouldn’t believe me. And that would break me.
I blinked out of the horrific memory that came rushing back. To this day I had still never told him what happened. Markus had kept my secret after I begged and pleaded for him to. He wanted me to tell Father, but that wouldn’t have done me any good. He probably would’ve made some stupid comment or laughed in my face.
“Are you okay?” Slade was standing in front of me, trying to figure out what was going on. There were other pressing matters that had to be taken care of, and I was still pretty pissed at him. I wasn’t ready to let go of this secret. Especially not with the way they were hanging around each other all the time. Elijah was his best friend, if he found out he betrayed him, it would ruin him. Not to mention, would he even believe me?
It took him reading my journal to believe that I didn’t frame him. Assault and rape were such scary subjects because when it truly mattered, people didn’t believe the victim. Especially if the assaulter was in some form of power, and Elijah was his right hand man. I didn’t trust that Slade would fight for me. He already wasn’t fighting for me like I’d hoped.
“No.”
He came and stood around the counter, close enough to reach out and touch. I wanted him. I wanted to forget every worry, and to ignore what was coming. I loved him, but part of me also hated him.
He was about to hand me over to a monster that would ruin me. I’d never compared Slade to Father, because they were two completely different people with different personalities and let’s face it, Slade had a heart. Father didn’t. But the way Slade was acting, as if I didn’t matter to him at all, that fucking hurt.
We were in a revolving circle, and I didn’t think we would ever be on a clear path to a quiet future.
Instead of pouring my heart out to him, I decided to go another way. It was clear that if I wanted to get out of the predicament I was in, then I would need to fight for myself. None of the men in my life were going to do it for me. If I had to put a mask on and play happy, then I would.
I swallowed the lump in my throat, “Can you take me back to my car?”
I looked around at the breakfast he had made. Pancakes, bacon and egss. My favorite. I wasn’t hungry though. I’d somehow lost my appetite and I just wanted to get away from him, so I could make my own plan of action.
If he wanted me to sacrifice myself, then fine. I would do it.
But on my own terms.