Chapter 40
CHAPTER 40
ARLAND
C hristmas Eve at my mother’s house was a relaxed celebration this year. Lisa and Smith had opted to spend the holiday at some resort with their kids, which meant that the rest of us could have fun together without constantly having to have our guards up. I considered it a Christmas miracle.
In our ugly sweaters, we helped Mom prepare dinner in the kitchen. A Christmas Story was on TV and we ate in the living room, having decided on sharing platters and snacks instead of a formal, sit-down meal.
As we relaxed on the couches and shared holiday memories, only one thing was missing for me. I loved my family and our traditions this time of year, but I was missing the most important person in my life—Mariam.
Somehow, even though she’d never spent this day with us, her absence left a void that no amount of festive cheer could fill for me. Lillian sighed as her gaze met mine, one of her eyebrows arching.
“What are you even doing here? It’s pretty obvious you’d rather be in Texas, big brother.”
Mom chuckled. “She’s not wrong, you know. We would’ve understood if you’d gone to Austin with her. Young love is such an intoxicating, precious thing.”
“I’m hardly young.”
“No, but your relationship with her is. As is your love.” Mom’s gaze drifted over to the flames flickering in the fireplace. “I remember when your father and I were in that phase. It felt like I couldn’t breathe when I was without him.”
Lillian’s lips twitched into a fond, sad smile. “After Charlie and I started dating, I was so scared when I asked Dad if I could spend that first Thanksgiving with their family instead of being here. He told me almost the exact same thing you just told Arland. It’s uncanny how much you guys think alike.”
Mom glanced at her. “That’s why I know exactly how precious this time is in a relationship. It’s the beginning. The start of a love story that might only be epic to the people in it, but it’s a time when every minute is special and when chemistry becomes a bond stronger than any other you’ll ever have.”
I groaned. “Neither of you are making me feel much better about not being with her right now.”
Grant flopped down on the couch next to our sister. Grinning at me, he kicked up his feet. “They’re not trying to make you feel better, bro. In their own not so subtle way, they’re giving you permission to go.”
“Tomorrow is Christmas,” I said. “I haven’t missed a single Christmas morning with your kids and I won’t start now.”
Before I met Mariam, I’d thought that experiencing the magic of Christmas morning with their kids was the closest I would ever come to spending it with kids of my own. As a result, I’d made a habit of spoiling them rotten, tracking Santa with them every year and waking them up well before the crack of dawn to claim that I’d just heard the reindeer leave our roof.
When they’d been younger, we used to set out carrots and lettuce for Rudolph and his pals, and even now that most of them knew the truth, they still played along for the littler ones. The thought I might actually get to do that with my and Mariam’s kids eventually made my heart swell a dozen sizes like the Grinch, and I groaned again.
“I am going to be missing Christmas dinner, though,” I finally admitted. “I booked a flight to go and surprise her. I’m sorry. I tried, but I just feel like I need to spend at least a part of the day with her.”
“As you should.” Mom sent me a blinding smile and blew a soft kiss as tears filled her eyes. “I’m proud of you, Arland. Your father would’ve been so proud of you as well. I knew you’d go after her. You’ve never been the type to sit around and wait for life to happen.”
“Well, we don’t know that yet,” Lillian said to her before she turned to look at me. “Are you planning on proposing to her while you’re there?”
I smiled. “Wouldn’t you like to know?”
Mom chuckled and wiped the tears that had begun leaking from her eyes. “I wish I could tell you how happy it makes me to finally see you so happy. It’s everything a mother could ask for her children. Take care of her, Arland.”
“I will,” I promised, unable to stop smiling. I looked around the room and saw the knowing grins on my family’s faces.
Inhaling deeply, I was suddenly filled with gratitude that they understood why I wouldn’t be spending all day here tomorrow. We were all sleeping over here tonight and I had known that Mom wouldn’t be surprised or angry that I planned on leaving after breakfast, but I had been afraid that she would be sad.
I’d also been a touch worried that my siblings would think I was a fool for once again racing across the country to see this girl, but none of their expressions seemed to suggest that. I would have done it anyway, but knowing that I had their full support on this made it so much better.
“Everyone is okay with having to set an extra place at the table from now on, then?” I joked in an attempt to lighten the suddenly emotional mood in the room.
William laughed. “I hate to break it to you, but she has to say yes first, man. Don’t count your chickens.”
“Of course, she’s going to say yes.” Grant scoffed. “Did you see the look on her face at that dinner? She’s head over heels for him, Will.”
William glanced at me. “She’s a good one. I hope you went down on your knees and begged for her forgiveness after all the crap that came out of your mouth that night.”
“I would have, but she’s not like that,” I said. “All she wanted was the truth, but I do plan on making it up to her for at least the next few years.”
“Making it up to her how?” Lillian asked.
I winked at her. “Wouldn’t you like to know?”
Her nose crinkled. “Eww. No, I wouldn’t actually. You’re my older brother. I don’t want to know what you do behind closed doors.”
I laughed. “I was talking about travel . Get your mind out of the gutter. It’s Christmas.”
Her eyes widened and she started laughing. “If that’s true, I’m going to need you to be mean to me next. I’d love to start traveling again now that our kids are a little older.”
Charlie sighed and shot me a teasing glare. “Thanks for that. I guess I have to start planning a trip now.”
I grinned at him. “Sorry, bro. If you can stall for a couple months, I might just give you a reason to plan a trip pretty soon.”
“A destination wedding?” My sister sat up straighter, immediately putting her hands together and clapping excitedly. “Now there’s something I can get behind.”
“Cool it,” I warned her with a laugh. “Like William said, she has to say yes first.”
Lillian shrugged. “But we already know that she’s going to, so as far as I’m concerned, it’s time to start making sure our passports are still valid. We might need new luggage too.”
Mom leaned forward and nodded along with my sister. “I’ll help you find some that are manageable sizes for the kids. You don’t want to be lugging around a whole mountain of heavy suitcases.”
I chuckled and left them to their daydreaming, but I loved that they were so confident in my relationship with Mariam that they were already planning for a destination wedding. Frankly, I was that confident in my relationship with her too.
There was absolutely no doubt in my mind that she was the one, and now that our secret was out, it felt like our biggest barrier had been removed. Brian was onboard, and while I knew that her parents were still in shock, he’d assured me that they would come around. Their opinions didn’t seem that important to Mariam anyway.
Obviously, my own family was thrilled and all my friends, while some were a little surprised, were supportive as well. All of which had made me realize that such a big age difference had never been as big a deal as I’d thought it might be after all.
I’d also already spoken to Brian about my plan to travel with Mariam for a few weeks, come back to the lodge for a few weeks, and then take off again. Rinse and repeat until she’d finally been to all the places on her list.
Thankfully, he’d readily agreed that the arrangement wouldn’t be a problem for him. Apparently, he’d known all along that I’d be in and out, and he’d always been prepared to look after the lodge by himself when I wasn’t there.
His only caveat had been that the first time we came back, he would be taking a break for the few weeks we’d be in town. A trade-off that was more than fair.
After speaking to Mariam about starting a family as well and learning that she also wanted children when the time was right, I couldn’t help but feel like everything was finally coming together for me. All of these issues that had been looming over us had felt insurmountable at one point, and in the end, none of them had been particularly difficult to work out after all.
In fact, once we’d started facing these challenges, things had worked out so quickly and so easily that I now knew we were definitely meant to be together. The universe didn’t pave the way like this unless that had been its plan all along.
I smiled as I tuned back into my family’s conversation, enjoying the rest of the night with them until finally, one by one, everyone started turning in. One of our traditions at the holidays was that we all spent the night at Mom’s house so that we’d all be together on Christmas morning, and as I helped my siblings carry their kids to bed, I felt an unexpected wave of emotion crash into me.
I had thought I would never have the privilege of doing this with my own children and I’d made my peace with that, but Mariam had given me back that dream. She’d breathed fresh life into my existence and returned promise and joy to my days, passion and love to my nights.
After tucking in a couple of my nieces and nephews, I went to bed and switched off the lights, but my brain refused to follow suit. I couldn’t stop thinking about Mariam and about how she was the reason I’d stopped simply surviving and had really started living again.
I thought back to the first time I’d met her, and I chuckled when I remembered how shook I’d been the day she’d shown up as my assistant after we’d hooked up. Lying there in the dark, I remembered trying to stay away from her and how hard I’d tried to convince myself that it was for the best.
I thought about that night I’d shown up in Austin and our late nights together preparing the Chalet. Images of our time together drifted through my mind on an endless loop, the look on her face when I took her to my first office and the exhilaration in her eyes when she made it down her first slope without landing on her butt.
We’d made so many memories together in such a short amount of time, and I couldn’t wait to keep making memories with her. To keep putting smiles on her face and exhilaration in her eyes. When I finally drifted off to sleep, I dreamed about her, and the next morning, despite how much I loved sharing this magic with my family, I kept glancing at my watch, biding my time until I had to leave.
I was crazy in love with this girl, and I didn’t care who knew it. Eventually, when I looked at my watch again, my mother came over and squeezed my arm. Smiling, she waved at the door with her free hand.
“Go on, then. Scoot. Go get her, my boy. We’ll be right here, rooting for you.”
I swept her up into my arms and hugged her as tight as I dared. “Thanks, Mom. I’ll bring her right over once we get back.”
She chuckled. “You’d better. I can’t wait to really get to know her. I love you, honey.”
“Love you too.” I gave her one last squeeze before I set her down on her feet.
In the living room my nieces and nephews were sitting in their pajamas, raving about all the gifts they’d gotten. My siblings and their significant others were with them, hurriedly inserting batteries into the toys that required them or setting up new electronics. I chuckled as I slipped away, not wanting them all to make a fuss. I headed straight for the airport and boarded my flight to Austin when it was time.
As the plane took off, I settled into my seat and tried to quell the impatience of having to sit through a whole flight before I saw her. But at least I was on my way, and I couldn’t wait to see the look on her face when she realized that I was there.