Chapter 2
The night had been amazing. Teddy had loved being surrounded by all the children who watched in rapt attention as Elsa sang her way into their hearts. Cece had kids pushing to be near her, so she told them to shift. When they did, Cece morphed into her wolf form, and they all piled up in the center of the room. Teddy watched as they nuzzled against her, seeing how she gave each of them a nudge or a lick. The kids ate the attention up.
Still, the evening had ended far too early for Teddy’s taste. He could have sat with them all night and watched more movies. When Alp announced it was time for bed, there had been groans from everyone, until Malachi stepped into the room. Then the kids couldn’t leave the place quickly enough. True to his word, Alp went to each room and gave everyone a hug and a kiss on their foreheads. Like they had done with Cece, the kids couldn’t get enough attention from Alp. How starved for love they must have been.
Once again, Teddy found himself wishing it had been Ivan and him who’d found Hyde. Cece had killed the man without mercy, but Teddy and Ivan had discussed it and said that if it was them who found the monster, they would have enjoyed playing with him—batting him hard into the walls, biting him and making him scream—until he begged to be allowed to die. Then they would have ended his life.
“What are you still doing up?” Malachi asked as he stepped into the kitchen. He went to the refrigerator and pulled it open. He peered inside, then grabbed a carton of milk and poured himself and Teddy a glass. He reached in again and took out a plate with two slabs of chocolate cake on it. He put one on a smaller white dish, placed a fork beside it, and slid it across the table to Teddy.
“Thank you, First.”
He held up a hand. “Mal, please. I’d really prefer that.”
Of course he would. “Yes, Mal.”
“And you didn’t answer me. Why are you awake?”
Teddy sighed. “I find I’m not able to sleep most nights. I have… nightmares.”
“Oh, okay. I can understand that. I’ve had more than a few myself.”
Teddy picked up his utensil and stabbed into the cake. His first bite was transcendent. He hadn’t had chocolate in a long while and had almost forgotten how good it was.
“Delicious, right?” Mal said, taking a mouthful of his own. “You know, when Alp finds out it’s missing, he’s going to be pissed. And I fully intend on telling him it was your fault.”
“What? But I didn’t?—”
“Stop teasing him, Mal,” Alp grumbled as he came into the room. He wore a blue bathrobe that had been cinched at the waist, and beneath it, Teddy couldn’t help but see the hickeys that dotted the tiny man’s skin. “There’s at least two more cakes, I promise.” He opened the door, stuck his head into the refrigerator, then turned around, shooting a death glare at Mal. “There were two more cakes.”
Mal’s eyes widened as he licked frosting from his lips. “Oh, no, I wonder where they could have gone.”
Alp frowned. “Mal, that was supposed to last at least another day. What will the kids get tomorrow?”
A dismissive wave. “We can have them make a few more cakes in the morning. We’ll be fine come lunchtime.”
“If someone doesn’t eat those too. I thought you were a wolf, not a pig.”
Mal grinned. “Let me huff and puff for you, baby.”
That got a groan from Alp. “I have a sweet tooth.” He frowned. “I really wanted cake, but I guess I’ll have to settle for the ice cream.”
Mal gave a sheepish grin, and Alp sneered.
Alp’s eyes widened and his nostrils flared. “You ate that too? You sure you’re not pregnant?”
“Baby, if anyone is getting pregnant, it’s you.” He stood and swept Alp into his arms, then stroked a hand over Alp’s stomach. “And that would be just fine with me.” He kissed Alp then, hard and deep, leaving his mate staring at him, obviously shell-shocked, and from the pheromones floating around, incredibly aroused. “And for the record, there is a piece of cake and some fudge swirl ice cream in the back of the freezer for you. You know I’d never deny you anything.”
The interplay between the two of them reminded Teddy of Damon and Cece. It was obvious they were in love. His and Ivan’s parents had never been like that. For them, children were a necessity. They needed workers for the farm, and that’s what was expected of the boys. Their sisters were meant to clean and cook. The division of labor, as their father told Teddy, was what the Maker demanded.
One day, their sister, Ilya, put her foot down, and told their father she was as good as any boy and she could work circles around Teddy and Ivan. It was impressive to see, but futile in the end, as their father scoffed and sent her to her room.
She ran away not long after that, and they didn’t hear from her for almost two years, when she wrote and said she was living in New York and loving it there. She invited the other kids, but only Teddy and Ivan went—against their fathers’ wishes—and that was where they met Hiram. He filled their heads with promises, that if they were in his sleuth, they could be their own men.
That was the first, but not the last lie. He and Ivan were big, strapping farm boys and Hiram wanted them for enforcers. That’s all they were ever good for. At least Mal and Alp took Cece’s word that they had brains too. Now he had to make sure he didn’t fail anyone.
He stood and bowed his head. “If you don’t mind, I’m going to go to my room.”
The two stopped their play-tussling. “Teddy, you don’t have to go. We’re sorry if we made you uncomfortable,” Mal insisted.
“No, it’s not that.” He gave them both a smile. “It’s good to see people in love. It’s been a long trip, and I’m tired.
“Teddy—” Alp started.
“No, really. I’m okay. Just need some sleep. I’ll see you in the morning, and you can show me what needs doing, all right?”
Alp bit his kiss-swollen lips as he regarded Teddy. “If you’re sure.” He peered at Mal. “If this bothers you?—”
“No! Not at all. I am sure, though.” He turned to leave, but then glanced over his shoulder. “May I ask, is it allowed for me to go up and run a bit in form? I haven’t shifted recently, and my muscles are all achy.”
“Of course. Plenty of room. I strongly suggest heading down to the river. That water is so fresh and cold, it’s a true delight.”
“I’ll have to try that. Good night.”
He left the room, Alp’s giggles and whispered entreaties echoing in Teddy’s ears. He had a feeling he was going to like it here after all.
By the time he made it outside, Teddy thought maybe he should go to bed instead. He did need to be up early, so he could start his new job. At realizing that, flutters filled his belly. He had a new job, in a new pack, with kids he wanted to help as they grew into adulthood. Not tell them they have to be strong or brave or… whatever. He wanted them to be happy. Considering how much of their lives had already been stolen from them, Teddy found himself to be truly joyous at the thought of this new path. No longer was he an enforcer, killing to keep people safe. Now he had a chance to make a difference in a child’s life.
Teddy noticed a wooden crate near the door to the compound. He glanced at the lid and grinned. Apparently they’d given thought to the needs of their people, since it said “For Clothes.” Teddy stripped off, folded his clothes, then took a deep whiff of air. It was cleaner, fresher. In Walker Pack, they were close to a few larger towns, and the smells of nature mingled with the car exhaust and other scents that Teddy didn’t care for.
He got down on all fours and let the shift come. His bear wanted out, to explore this untouched wilderness. The ache he’d complained about became intense pain, as muscles stretched and new growth pressed through his fingertips and toes. When his face and body started to morph, Teddy had to bite back a scream. He knew it would be worth it, though. As soon as he was a bear, everything would be?—
The pungent smell of poop had Teddy pawing at his nose. That shit— heh —was rank. Only… it wasn’t just fecal matter. There was another odor. Teddy had smelled it when they’d invaded the labs. The drugs they used on shifters. Curiosity got the better of him, and when the transformation was finally complete, Teddy ambled off toward the place the scent of fear and death were coming from.
His stomach roiled at the thought of what he was going to find.
When were they going to drag him back into the darkness? Why were they doing this to him? Was this another one of their damned “tests”? They’d sent new people who told him he was safe before. The first couple times, Callum believed and he had hope. Then he realized it was never going to happen. They were obviously trying to give him false sense of security, and then what? They were going to rip it away? Callum Martin hated this damned place. He wanted to be home and…. He sighed. Home no longer had the same meaning. Not since they…. Callum lifted his head and bellowed, a loud, mournful sound that had escaped from him every time he thought about Cooper.
Why couldn’t Callum find Cooper? Where was he? If one of them was to get out, Callum knew to his soul his parents would have preferred it to be his older brother. Cooper was the golden child, the one who could touch shit and it would turn into treasure. Unlike Callum. Everything he had done or tried ended up as crap. Add to that, Cooper would given them strong, healthy grandkids. Callum wouldn’t give them anything but grief.
And the day they’d been… taken, that was proven. Cooper fought back like a man possessed. The odds were against him, though, and even he could only take that kind of beating for so long. Maybe if Callum had helped, they could have escaped. But Callum ran off, like a coward. When he heard the gunshot, he stopped and turned around, but knew he couldn’t do anything for his brother. He was weak, pathetic. Best to get as far away as possible, then come back with help.
That was the lie Callum had told himself every day for the last five years. After they’d taken Cooper down, Callum heard them shouting to not let him get away. The roar of the engines was near deafening as they got in their vehicles and raced after Callum. When the lights crested the hill and the four vehicles chugged into view, Callum lay down, ready to die. Oh, how he wished he had. Instead, they’d jabbed him with electro-sticks until his muscles locked and he couldn’t move, then brought him to this place, where they’d done unspeakable things to him. Monstrous things.
The night he’d heard Cooper scream? That had changed everything. Callum knew his brother was alive! He bellowed back, but silence was his only reply. Was Cooper pissed? He should be. Callum had abandoned him and, worse, proven that what their father had always said was true. Callum wasn’t a bull—he was a lamb. A meek, milk-drinking lamb who would bring nothing but shame to his family.
Why couldn’t they just kill him and get it over with? Hadn’t Callum suffered enough? What would it take for them to let him go after all this time?
The snap of a twig froze Callum in his tracks. Had they finally returned for him? Maker, please let him die this time. He couldn’t stand it here anymore. Unable to shift, not allowed to do anything but cry at the memories that assailed him every moment.
When an enormous head poked around the corner, Callum jolted. A bear? Did bears eat bulls? Callum knew he couldn’t beat the hairy beast. He had enough trouble standing up on the best of days. Being locked in the pen for months on end had left him barely able to move.
The enormous animal padded closer, sniffing the air. Probably tasting Callum. He backed into the tiny barn as far as he could, hoping the bear would pass him by, but instead, it stopped at the gate and stared at him. Then it did the most incredible thing. It shifted into a man!
“Hi,” he said. “My name is Theodore, but everyone calls me Teddy. You’re Callum, right?”
There was a softness to the big man’s voice that was incongruous with his bulk. He ambled closer and put his hand on the fence.
“Is it okay if I come in there? I know you don’t much like others. I promise I won’t hurt you.”
They’d all said that, and every one of them lied.
“If you’d rather, I can stay out here,” Teddy said. “I don’t want to spook you.” He sat at the gate, smiling at Callum. “You’re a big boy, aren’t you?”
Compared to a bear? No. He’d never been as big as any member of his family, especially Cooper. His brother had been the biggest one in the house, dwarfing even their father. If he couldn’t stop them….
Callum lifted his head and bellowed. Teddy didn’t flinch.
Teddy stood and stared at Callum with big, soft, dark gray eyes. “I can feel your sadness, you know,” Teddy told him, reaching out and touching his snout.
Callum jerked away, unable to keep from recoiling.
“I’m sorry!” Teddy cried, pulling his hand back. “I forgot. I am so very sorry.”
He dropped down to his knees. Callum stared at him for the longest time, wondering when the pain would start.
“I’m one of the people who came here and helped rescue the shifters they held prisoner. My First’s mate? She killed Hyde. Ripped him to bloody, bite-sized chunks. My brother, his name is Ivan, and I hauled the body out, and though it pains me to say I took joy in his passing, I did so. He hurt so many people, including the mate of my new leader. I’ve known bad people in my life, but never true evil.”
Hyde was dead? Like, really and truly gone? If bulls could weep, Callum would be. He recalled every experiment Hyde and his people had forced on him. How they’d put drops in his eyes that burned as though they were on fire. How they seared his flesh with metal pokers. How they’d beat him with prods, forcing Callum to shift to his bull form, then locked him in a dark, dank room that smelled of piss and crap. They’d left him with no way to know how much time had passed, no sun, moon, sky. Just blackness. Callum had no choice but to add his own waste to the stench. Eventually, he couldn’t smell it anymore.
“I know you don’t have any reason to trust the people who are here. You could be trading one devil for another. Me and my brother? We did. So I get why you’re afraid.”
He couldn’t. No one could. Callum had lost it all, including his beloved brother.
Teddy leaned back against the gate and wrapped his arms around his knees. “I’m afraid too. I wake up at night, drenched in sweat. My brother says I need to get over it, but how can I?”
He sniffled, and that tugged at Callum’s heart. He’d witnessed many emotions since he’d been dragged into this hell: fear, anguish, despair. He’d never witnessed sadness like what Teddy was displaying. Callum stepped forward and pushed his nose through the bars of his pen, nuzzling Teddy’s cheek. He turned and gave Callum a smile.
“Hey, hi.” He reached up, then hesitated. “Is this okay?”
Was it? Had Callum known any kindness from the people here in all the time they’d held him? No, he hadn’t. Barely enough food to survive, access to the scantest bit of water, locking Callum in a dark room for days on end, only trimming his hooves when Callum toppled over, no longer able to walk on them. Injecting him with something that dragged him down into sleep, and he had no idea what they’d done to him after that. Yet this man—Teddy—was reaching out in, hopefully, friendship. Callum knew it was a risk, but Teddy seemed honest and, in truth, Callum needed a friend. He pushed his nose into Teddy’s hand.
Gentle fingers glided over Callum’s snout, tickling the hairs. Teddy’s smell wasn’t like the others Callum had dealt with. Theirs was harsh, chemical, death. Teddy’s was crisp and clean, like the time the family had gone to the mountains to celebrate Cooper’s good grades. Callum had complained bitterly, but it was for naught. Cooper wanted it, and their father would move heaven and earth to give him whatever he asked for. When they’d arrived, Callum had gotten the best, purest air he’d ever breathed in. It made him dizzy for a few moments with how delicious it was.
That was the smell Teddy had. Smooth, clean, rarefied air. Callum pushed his nose further into the palm.
“Hey, what’s going on?” Teddy asked with a giggle. Yes, he actually giggled! How could someone so big laugh like a kid? It made no sense, but it seemed to suit Teddy somehow. “Listen, I know this is going to be a dumb question, but can you shift?”
Why would he want to? As a human, Callum had known nothing but pain. As a bull, he’d had nothing but pain. At least a bull’s needs were simple. Water, grass, and sunshine, not that he’d gotten any of that for the longest time. That was all. No expectations of him, no disappointing anyone. He could never understand why humans didn’t take more joy in laying out in the sun, allowing it to warm your body, or try to dodge raindrops as they pelted the earth.
“I’m guessing not. It’s not surprising. Alp—he’s my First’s mate—couldn’t shift for weeks, and he’s a lot tinier than you.” Teddy’s eyes widened. “Hey, I have an idea. What do you say to taking a midnight run? You and me, romping around in the woods. I promise to protect you.”
Was he serious? Or was he another one of those so-called scientists, and this was one of their cruel experiments? Callum wasn’t sure if they had shifters working with them, but it wouldn’t surprise him at all.
Teddy stood and reached for the lock on the gate. Callum’s heart pounded. If Teddy would only open it, Callum could make a run for it and try to escape this hellish nightmare. With a sharp click, the lock popped, and Teddy opened the gate wide.
“If I shift, will it scare you?”
Scare him? Hell no, it wouldn’t. He had no intention of being anywhere around by the time Teddy shifted.
A hand stroked Callum’s neck. It was warm and gentle. Nails grazed the skin softly, reaching under the hair and scratching an itch that Callum could never reach. He peered up into Teddy’s gray eyes and was lost in them. His brain kept screaming for Callum to run, but his heart spoke different words. Trust. Friendship. Caring.
“I know I’m asking a lot when I say to trust me.” He leaned in and brought his nose to Callum’s snout. “And I figure you’re thinking about running right now. So you know, I won’t stop you, but I would caution you. If you can’t shift back, the humans might haul you to a farm or… worse. You’re safe here, with me.”
Callum stepped out of the enclosure. He turned and gave it a critical look. When they’d taken him out of the lab, he was sure something awful was going to happen, but they fed him, gave him as much water as he could handle, had a woman who said she was a vet check him over, and give him antibiotics—she said—and lined the pen with fresh straw. If he used it, someone came in the morning and cleaned it out. There wasn’t a layer of shit on the walls from so many different shifters. And his hooves weren’t getting soft in the urine-soaked stuff he’d stood in.
The best things were the blessed silence. No cries of anguish, no screaming. And no smell of decay from shifters who’d died. How many nights had Callum wished to be deaf, so as not to hear the suffering? How often had he wished he could die to avoid the pain? But it had been weeks since the last experiment .
Maybe… maybe what Teddy was saying was true and Hyde died. That would be a blessing for so many. If so, it was possible that Teddy could be trusted. He had a soft touch, that was for certain. When a hand stroked his side, Callum flinched and Teddy jerked away.
“Oh damn! I’m sorry. It’s just… I’ve never seen a bull like you. All that reddish hair is matted and snarled, and I was wondering what it would look like if it was cleaned and combed out. I bet you’re stunning.”
Not nearly as much as Cooper. Callum had been envious of his brother’s long golden reddish-blond mane that their mother braided, his body that was sturdy in both forms. Right now, though? He’d give anything to see his brother again. To have him tease Callum the way he did when they were younger.
“Hey, don’t cry,” Teddy urged. “I’m sorry if I upset you.”
Callum hadn’t even realized he was crying. He turned away from Teddy, shame making him feel unworthy of the attention. Just when he thought Teddy would walk away, he did the oddest thing. He wrapped those big, strong arms around Callum’s neck and held on.
“Shhh. I’ve got you.”
It was a promise. A vow. From a man who didn’t seem to be there to hurt Callum at all. He could trust, at least with this man. And for the first time in many years, Callum allowed himself to be touched. And wept.