Chapter Ten
Lennox
Lennox stepped inside the keep and closed the door behind him, then headed to his chamber above stairs. For some odd reason, more and more of the event in his past continued to haunt him. More visions, more memories.
More truths and explanations of what had happened that day, though it was still unclear.
His mother proceeded toward him before he made it to the staircase. He knew better than to talk to her here because all the women were inside for the midday meal. Women, bairns—there were too many people inside.
He strode past her and moved up the stairs, disappointed to hear the click of his mother’s boot heels on the steps below him. “Slow down, Lennox. I need to speak with you.”
“Then speak to me while I pack my bag,” he replied over his shoulder.
“Why are you packing a bag? Are you not going on patrol? You do not need a bag to look for those bairns. Listen to me, please.”
He waited until he was inside his chamber, then waved for her to enter behind him, and she sat in the chair near the hearth. The look on her face told him she had much to say, but he didn’t have time to listen. With four bairns missing, time was of the essence. “Tell me quickly, if you please. I have things to do.”
“What have you planned? I can tell by the look on your face that you have sent Taskill to do the patrol. Then what exactly are you doing? Are you shirking your duty?”
He spun around and faced his mother. “Why are you pushing me so? What have I done wrong? I’ve kept the clan together ever since Da passed. I’ve run the clan just like he did. We grow our own food, train our guards, and help our neighbors whenever they call upon us. Our clan numbers are growing, not shrinking. What more do you want?”
“I push you because I don’t understand you. I want you to stop lying to yourself and to me. Tell me the truth. Why are you running away from patrol? Your father would have taken control and led all the guards, but you run in the opposite direction. Why?”
“Because I have something I have to do. Why do you care?”
“Because you should act like the leader you are. You are not a happy man, Lennox MacVey. I care not what you say. You need a woman in your life, you need bairns in your life, a son who will pull on your plaid and say, ‘Uppie, Papa.’ You need the love of a good heart for your soul, to fire you up to want to do more.”
His mother continued, “If you did, you would do more. If you married, more of our guards would marry. If you went to court to meet King Robert, you would gain his favor. Who knows what you could do with that quick mind of yours? Don’t you want more from your life?”
He did want more, but he had no idea what it was. Why the hell she was bringing it up now, he was clueless. But what exactly did he want? He didn’t know. Did he want wealth? To be the king’s favorite? To have a wife? To be father to ten bairns? He could have any woman he wished for.
But he couldn’t think of one worth wasting his wishes on.
The golden-haired lass had asked him a simple question when they’d met. “What do you wish for, my lord?”
How the hell did he know?
“Mother, this is not the time for this conversation, but I’ll say this much. I am happy being chieftain of the clan. I am happy that you and my siblings have a fine home and good food. What more do I need?”
“You asked me about Logan Ramsay once. You said you would love to be a spy like he was. Do you know what he would tell you was the happiest day of his life? The day he married Gwyneth. Together, they bore children, trained archers, and built a kingdom within Clan Ramsay that many wish for. You should ask him sometime. See what he thinks is of value now that he is an old man.”
“I have no interest in being a spy now.”
“Then stop running and choose a wife. Stay here if you don’t wish to go on patrol. But running away does not suit you.”
“I am not running away!”
“Then what the hell are you doing, Lennox? Your allies have been struck with tragedy and you choose to send someone else on patrol. Why? Where the hell are you going?”
Lennox closed his eyes, then strode over to stand in front of his mother. “You are the only one to know this. If I find out you reveal the truth to anyone, I’ll send you to Clan Rankin. Understood?”
“Fine. But I know you are going alone, and someone should know where and why. You are the chieftain of the clan who should never go anywhere alone. You know that.”
He couldn’t argue with her reasoning, but he hated to tell her in case he failed. “I’m going after him.”
“Him?”
“The man who nearly ruined my life.”
His mother’s eyes misted, something he hadn’t expected to see. Then she said, “You think he is the one involved in this heinous crime?”
“Aye, I do. I’ve given your words much thought, and since he did it years ago, he is probably involved somehow. I cannot deny that you could be right. But I cannot waste my time going on patrol if he is involved. He is undoubtedly guilty of hiring someone to bring the bairns to him, so he’s unlikely to be on Mull. I believe he is in Oban. It makes sense that he would be near the coast somewhere.”
She stood in front of him, her face paling. “You are going to the mainland, then.”
“I am. Please handle what you can while I’m gone. Taskill can take care of everything else.”
His mother turned her back for a second to manage her emotions. He’d seen her do it numerous times in his life. She’d not shed a tear around the others. While she turned away, he finished packing his small bag and changed out of his identifying dark green plaid into black trews and a tunic.
She whirled back around, the picture of control reinstated, her chin lifted. “I bid you Godspeed, my dear son. I pray you do find him, even if he is not guilty in this instance.”
He kissed her cheek and said, “Remember your promise, Mama.”
“I would never betray you, Lennox.” Then she gave him that look that frightened many of the serving lasses. “Find that bastard and put your sword in his wicked heart.”
Lennox left, silently vowing to do as she said.
Before he descended the staircase, he stopped, turning back to her. There were so many conversing in the great hall that no one could overhear his words. He took two steps back and did the one thing he’d vowed never to do. He leaned over and whispered in her ear, “You’re right, Mama. You’ve always been right about this.”
A single tear slid down his mother’s cheek.