34
Ella
October 3rd, 2018
“S o, are we doing the whole, not seeing the bride on the morning of the wedding thing?” Matty asks.
I roll my eyes. “No. I mean, we’re not exactly getting married in the most, um, traditional of ways, are we? I don’t think it’s possible, anyway.”
“Why? I can go to a hotel for tonight, I don’t mind—”
“No, you’ll stay here. You can leave early in the morning, so you don’t see me in the dress before the ceremony. Nick already told me he’d take me after you, anyway. I have it all sorted!”
“Oh, did he now? So, you’re taking my brother to our wedding? Even though he’s my brother!”
“He’s giving me away.”
“Yeah, I know. He’s meant to be my best man, though!” he grumbles, though I can see the smile lurking on his face. Bailey shifts on my lap and her nose rests near my stomach. “She knows there’s something in there, right? They say that about dogs, don’t they?”
“I assume so, or my stomach is just a comfy dog pillow.”
“She’s going to love it when you get a bump. I’ve seen these cute things online where the dog cuddles the bump, and the baby kicks. It’s so cute,” Matt gushes.
“By that time, we’ll be in the house and Bailey won’t be living with us,” I point out.
“We can get a puppy. Then they can grow up together,” he suggests, and I shake my head. “All right, fine. But we’re getting a dog at some point. You owe me!”
“I’m giving you a child! You owe me , mister!” I play-hit him.
“I don’t owe you shit!” He scoffs in jest and puts his hand on my stomach. “Only four weeks till we can finally see what baby Davenport looks like! I can’t wait till you get a bump; it’ll be cute.”
“Fuck off—”
I get cut off by the doorbell.
“Could be the postman,” Matty says. I tap Bailey and she moves from my lap before heading to the door. As I open it, I’m completely caught off guard.
“What the—”
I try to slam the door closed, but Dean’s foot appears between the door and the frame, stopping it.
I immediately snarl. “Get the fuck—”
Matt appears at the end of the hallway. “Ells, what the—”
“Let us in, Ella!” Mum calls.
The door flies open, and Dean appears in front of me. Time stops for a moment, and I meet the gaze of both my mum and dad. The look of pure relief in my mum’s eyes gives me slight hope, while in contrast, the pure rage and disappointment in my dad feel like doom. When I get pushed back against the wall, I feel Dean’s angry breath beating down my neck. The sensation kills my senses, making me want to retreat into myself like a crab.
“How could you do this to me?” I whisper, my eyes meeting his.
“How could you do this to me, Ella?”
Both my parents step inside the house and I instantly know Matt and I are in for much worse.
Dean lets go of me and I retreat into the lounge to stand in front of Matt before my dad can get to him.
“Is this him?” Dad roars, stepping right in front of me.
No one answers. I don’t even need to look back to feel the pure fright radiating from Matt like car lights in the dark.
“Step aside, Ella,” Dad demands.
“Leave him alone,” I snap back. Our eyes meet once again. He towers over me in height and width. I’m a small child again, cowering when I’ve done something wrong.
In my heart of hearts, I know I have done nothing wrong. I have come this far, and now my wedding is tomorrow. I’m not giving in.
“Is this him?” Dad demands again, not looking away from me. “Dean’s told us all about your relationship with this… orphan boy. Since you started university, how you took him on the cruise with you. How you ran away with him, for him. How you plan to get married, how he got you pregnant ?”
“Dean—” I sigh, looking over at him, my tears making his image cloudy. My heart begins pounding harder, and I swear it’ll combust into nothing until I evaporate away.
Was I na?ve to think love could conquer all? When I was younger, I would watch Disney films with Mum, and sometimes even Dean watched them with me. Love always conquered all in those films. Even when the hero is down, the lovers are torn apart and you think they’ll never win, good always triumphs.
But this isn’t a Disney film. This is real life, and power is power, money is power, love is just a fickle thing. No one in this bubble of lies cares about an emotion that screwed them over years ago, no one cares that love can hurt but also heal. Dean and I are just pawns in their game of power.
Of course Dean was going to tell them. But I thought he might take pity on me; he might realise that it’s never going to happen. I was na?ve and stupid to think he might understand me.
“Yes, it is me,” Matt pipes up.
“Matty, don’t—” I turn around, making the worst mistake in the tense moment. My dad moves like a cheetah. Dean’s hand clamps around my wrist and pulls me back.
The thumps resound around the room, hitting like the pounding of my heart; fast and hard. Dad may as well be punching me instead of Matt, the way each slam shatters my heart.
“ No !” I scream, fighting against the iron grip of Dean. “Get off. Leave him alone!”
“Just stop, Ella,” Dean whispers.
“ You did this .” I pull against him again but to no avail. My mum is standing to the side, her hands around her mouth, tears running down her face.
Dean says nothing, just tightens his grip on me. He knows what he’s done, I can tell that much.
I’ve had my head in the clouds for too long. Whenever Dean or I told Matt they could kill him, he never took it seriously, but here’s the evidence.
In a world full of criminal maniacs, there is no room for love. Love is often seen as the ultimate verb, the ultimate form of becoming whole. But in a world of people like my dad, Dean and Anthony, it’s the ultimate weakness. I can see that now.
“ Dad, stop !”
“You thought you could just ruin everything? Huh? You thought you could win, Ella? This is what happens when you try to betray me!” My dad looks right into my eyes as he lands another thump. I can see the pure… coldness within them.
“ Stop it !” I pull hard against Dean, and I manage to move closer to where my dad leans over Matt who’s a ball on the floor.
Pound.
Thump.
Pound.
Thump.
Matt groans, each punch draining more of his energy. The strings of my heart rip apart and come undone like pasta left in water.
“Ella—”
“ Let him go! ” The scream scratches my throat, but I pull away. Within two strides, I’m at my dad’s side, pushing, pulling, pounding on his back. I fully expect a blow to land on me, but he’s so intent and careful with the punches. He might be a maniac, but he knows what he’s doing.
“I will not lose everything because of a… boy , Ella.”
“I love him!”
He finally stops, stepping away from Matt. My legs give out and the burning flies down my face, my nose running and dripping like a string. I crumple down as I feel Matt’s body curl back up and a small groan escapes from his bleeding mouth.
“Matty.” I pull him gently toward me, putting myself in between the two of them. The blood drips from his mouth, the bruises already forming on his face. His normally immaculate curls are dishevelled and matted by the sticky blood.
“You think this is some fairytale ? You think love can conquer all? You knew since you were sixteen, girl ,” Dad hisses. He’s crouching in front of me, his hand around my jaw.
“I don’t care, Dad.”
He laughs. I glance down at his hand gripping my face, Matt’s blood transferring to my face. The stench of it fills the room, iron, betrayal. Red represents both pain and passion culminating in one sticky substance.
This could easily be a murder scene on TV.
He takes out a white handkerchief from his suit pocket and starts vigorously wiping at Matty’s blood on his knuckles.
My dad could’ve killed him; the love of my life, all because I fell in love.
I’ve always hated the phrase ‘fall in love’ – falling is never a good thing. But now I realise that even something as liberating, amazing and all-encompassing as love can be bad . I always knew things with Matt could never last, and though I thought this might be the end of the tunnel for us, and it might end up the way we wanted, now I know. Falling in love can be a bad thing; something that hurts, something that breaks a bone or grazes a knee.
“Adrian—”
“Keep quiet, Martha. I’ve heard just about enough from you for the past few days. Dean, take her and we will get going from this… disaster.” Dad’s voice is booming, authoritative. He thinks he can command everyone around him to do what he wants. He thinks he’s going to get me to change my mind as if this was just a speed bump in the road.
“Adrian, I think—”
“I said shut up, Martha.”
“Don’t speak to her like that!” I roar through my tears. Matt’s trying, and failing, to pick himself up. I watch my dad baulk at my attitude. “Who the fuck do you think you are?”
My dad just laughs. “Young lady, if you think your sudden run-away-from-home trick gives you the right to speak to me like that, you thought wrong.”
“If you think coming in here and demanding me back with you would work, then you thought wrong.”
“Ella, I would listen to him,” Dean warns me.
I look back to Matty, his perfect face masked by purple and red marks. There’s a gash across his brown eyebrow, his long eyelashes tinged with blood. He’s swollen like a blueberry, but he’s alive, and that’s all that matters.
I knew this would end in hurt for one of us. I always thought the hurt would be of parting, of being forced apart by my marriage to Dean, not the physical pain of my father finding out at the last hurdle.
“Ells…” He groans, turning toward me. I help him up so he’s standing, leaning on my shoulder. I help him hobble over to the sofa. The instant he slumps, Bailey appears and sits on his lap as a guard. The silence is overwhelming, almost as painful as the sight of the man who owns my heart beaten black and blue when his only crime was falling in love with me.
“Adrian, I think we should—”
“Martha, if you say one more word, you will get the same treatment this worthless—”
“Hey!” I cut Dad off, wiping my eyes.
“Don’t think I wouldn’t do it to you, either, Ella. After everything you’ve done to show me up, it’s the least you deserve!”
“Adrian, I think you need to take a moment,” Dean pipes up. My dad looks at him and exhales, nodding at his suggestion.
So, it’s all right when Dean suggests something, but the minute Mum or I pipe up, we get threatened with violence.
“I think you need to leave,” I suggest, looking between my mum and Dean.
“We are not leaving without you, Ella. This stupid charade ends now. I’ve already booked an appointment for you tomorrow at the hospital for an abortion—”
“Excuse me?”
“You think I’m going to have a bastard grandchild—”
“You get nothing! I’m twenty-one years old. If you think I’m marrying him, you can think again!” My hand points to Dean.
“The agreement—”
“Is a pile of shit!” Matt chuckles, spitting blood. Nick’s going to be pissed when he sees the state of his floor.
Everyone’s eyes fall on Matt as I step between him and everyone else. He’s got Bailey and me as a guard, which to be fair isn’t the best given what my dad can do.
“What would you know—”
“I told them both, Adrian,” Dean cuts my dad off. My father’s dark eyes widen in shock, and his lip curls in disgust. So, there is one thing Dean can do to annoy him, then. Not so golden, after all.
“Why would you do that?” Dad growls.
“Because she needed to know. She’s given notice to marry him, Adrian. They have a child on the way. If there was anything that could make her think again, it was the truth.”
I have to hand it to Dean, he’s the most reasonable one out of the lot of them. That doesn’t say much, though.
“Adrian,” Mum pipes up quietly.
“You seem so desperate to say something, Martha, so just out with it, woman.”
“I think the deal is over, don’t you?” Mum asks. “Look at them. They’re both clearly in love .”
He sighs, his shoulders slumping forward. “You’re so desperate to speak and you just spout utter nonsense.”
“She’s right, Dad,” I say. “I know the truth now. You only want us to get married so you get to keep your money. I will not marry someone to keep a potential paedophile a secret.”
“I wouldn’t throw around words like that without knowing the truth, young lady.”
“How old was your friend when the affair started, Dad?”
“That doesn’t—”
“How old was he?” I demand.
“Fifteen.”
“So, she’s a paedophile,” I say. “I’m not one to be keeping that secret. The wedding between Dean and I is off.”
“Ella. Please.” Dean sighs.
“Don’t plead with me. You know he’s been sleeping with someone behind everyone’s back too, right? Your perfect golden son-in-law isn’t so perfect—”
“Ella!”
“You come in, acting all high and mighty, Dean. You’ve been sleeping with your girlfriend the whole time—”
The pain stings, working its way across my face like a sharp pinprick.
Matt shoots off the sofa. “Get the fuck off her—”
I step back, holding the cheek Dean slapped in shock. The scene before me is unfolding as if it was on TV as Matt’s fist collides with Dean’s face and the two of them yell at each other over whether I’m leaving with Dean or not. My eyes flit up and I meet my mum’s stare.
I shake my head at her, trying to ask her not to let this happen and let me go.
When she glides across the floor like an angel to engulf me in the one thing I’ve always wanted, everyone around us stops what they’re doing.
“Shh.” The tears escape me in a loud, childlike sob when my mum hugs me. “It’s all right, Ella.” Her hands smooth my hair.
“Martha—”
“I am hugging my daughter, Adrian, shut up. Why don’t you and Dean wait outside? She’s upset, give me a moment with my daughter.”
“Five minutes, then you are both leaving with us,” Dad threatens. The front door slams with the anger of two rich men threatened with losing all their money.
∞∞∞
“When is your wedding?” Mum hisses.
“What?”
She sighs. “We do not have time for these games, Ella. You know that I have known your heart has been elsewhere for a while now. It was only a matter of time before your father found out. This whole thing is stupid; we all know that. If I lose the house or the money, I don’t care. I can leave your father and fend for myself. This has been a blessing in disguise for us both, sweetheart. You finally managed to find your way, and now it’s my turn to help you. When is your wedding?”
I glance at Matt. My heart breaks all over again seeing his face, the pang in my chest forcing the air to trap inside my throat.
“Tomorrow, eleven in the morning,” Matt croaks.
“You’ll want to put ice on your face until then if you don’t want to ruin your wedding photos.”
I cock my head. “Are you… helping us?”
“You’re my daughter and carrying my grandchild. If what you said about Dean and a girlfriend is true, then you’re setting yourselves free.”
“What do we need to do?” Matt asks for me.
“Ella, I need you to come with us. The appointment your father has booked is for ten in the morning. I will offer to take you instead of him; I’ll use the excuse that you don’t want your father to attend. I’ll drive you to the hospital. I assume, Matthew, you have a car?” Mum asks, and Matty nods. “You’ll meet us at the hospital and take Ella to your wedding. By the time your father thinks anything has gone wrong, you’ll already be married.”
My eyes meet Matt’s for a single second. He gives me a tiny smile from his swollen mouth.
Mum’s hand cups my cheek and she smiles. “Can you do this? Pretend to leave him for the night?”
I turn to Matty and look into his pain-filled eyes. “What do you think?”
“Ells, I will do anything to meet you down that aisle tomorrow. Nick and I will sort everything. Go. This is our only chance.”
“I love you.”
“I love you too, more than anything.”
“I will go tell your father you will come, and you’re packing some things.” Mum nods at us. I run up the stairs, grab my handbag and throw some clothes in my suitcase.
“Ella, hurry up!” Dad bellows from the bottom of the stairs. The thought of spending even a night in the same house as him brings all sorts of hatred. I know he’ll bully me into telling him everything. He’ll try and tell me how wrong I was, and his words will work their way into my brain, trying to hypnotise me. I keep both phones on silent in my handbag after tapping out a message to Matt to tell him to text me on my second phone.
I drag my suitcase and handbag with me down the stairs, making sure I show my hatred as I do. I catch sight of Matty, doubled over by the door to the lounge. Dean is standing between Matt and my parents.
“You come near my daughter again, and I will kill you, do you hear me? You’re lucky she chose to come with me willingly.”
“Adrian, I think he’s got the idea. Leave him to think about what he’s done,” Dean says, and when I meet his eyes as I reach the bottom step, he gives me a sympathetic look.
“Let me say goodbye to him.” I look at Dean as I say it, knowing out of anyone at this moment, he would let me.
“One minute.” Dean nods and ushers my parents outside the front door. “They have one minute.”
“Ells Bells—”
“If we fuck this up, we’re finished,” I whisper. “Act like this is it. Message me on my new phone later.”
“I love you.” He groans and tucks me under his chin. I claw at his shirt as if I was a cat kneading its mother.
“I love you, Matty,” I whisper, hoping my words absorb like moisturiser into his skin and mingle with his blood.
“This isn’t over,” he whispers into my skin, and the tingle his words leave brings me to life despite the daunting situation outside. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”
I don’t say anything more, and when we part I stare at him, imagining on purpose if things go wrong, this could be the last time I ever see him. The tears form as I need them to, and I give him a small smile.
I reach out and touch his hand, feeling his promise ring. He twists my engagement and promise ring before I break away, reluctantly turning toward a bleak, horrific night.