Chapter 1
Chapter One
S erenity growled and stormed out of her bedroom, leaving her cell phone on her bed. “I’m done!” she announced loudly, coming into the main part of the small house she leased. “Men are dumb, and I’m never dating ever again.”
Shiloh looked up from her computer screen, raising a dark eyebrow. “Okay.”
Serenity flung her bright red waves over her shoulder and put her hands on her hips. “I mean it. Never again.”
Shiloh shrugged. “I said okay. I didn’t like you meeting guys online, anyway.”
Serenity wrinkled her nose. “I was desperate,” she admitted softly.
Shiloh’s shoulder dropped slightly. “I know, Ser. I don’t really blame you. Any woman would take crazy measures if they dealt with the same thing you did.”
Serenity took a long breath. “Yeah, well…it’s dumb. The whole thing is dumb. Being left without a word is dumb. Being desperate enough to date guys online is dumb. Having one suggest we meet at his place so we can relax is also dumb.”
Shiloh’s mouth dropped. “He didn’t.”
“Oh, he did,” Serenity assured her best friend. “I won’t tell you how he suggested we do said relaxing.” She walked over and dropped unceremoniously onto the couch, letting her head fall back. “I hate men. I hate modern society. I just want to become an old maid, walk the ocean every morning, and wear pink hats when I get older.”
Shiloh snorted. “Pink? I thought old ladies were supposed to wear purple hats?”
“Have you seen my hair?” Serenity pointed out. “Carrot head, Shi. Carrot head. Orange and purple are only good partners in a sunset.”
Shiloh gave her signature cackle. “And you think pink is better?”
“At least I’ll look feminine,” Serenity defended her choice. “Like a three year old picked out my outfits. It’ll be enough to show that I don’t care what others think, but not enough to hurt customer’s eyes when they come into my store.”
Shiloh patted Serenity’s knee. “Sounds like a marvelous plan…except for one thing.”
Serenity tilted her head just a little. “What?”
“You’re forgetting that being surrounded by a pair of big strong arms is the most amazing feeling in the world.”
Serenity grunted. Who cared if it was an unladylike sound? “Actually, I think it’s the kisses from the owner of the arms that’s the most amazing feeling in the world.”
“You did use to say that Luca’s kisses were the best,” Shiloh agreed, tucking her own dark hair behind her.
Serenity glared. “I believe you mean ‘he who dropped off the face of the Earth, and we shall never mention him again’ had the best kisses in the world.”
Shiloh tapped her forehead. “Sorry. I forgot. I mean, that name totally rolls off the tongue, I’m not sure how I could’ve forgotten to use it.”
Serenity closed her eyes and settled deeper into the couch. “For someone who can name every by-law on a real estate contract, you sure are forgetful sometimes.” She grinned when Shiloh whacked Serenity’s thigh.
The room was quiet for several minutes, except for the sound of Shiloh typing on her computer.
“What am I gonna do, Shi?” Serenity whispered. “I feel like I’m a mess. I want to move on, but every time I try, I hate my options.”
More moments went by, but the keyboard was silent this time.
“I don’t know,” Shiloh finally admitted. “I wish I could bring him back for you.”
Serenity jerked upright, and her eyes popped open. “No,” she ground out. “He made his choice. I don’t want him back.”
Lies, lies, and more lies. Serenity ignored the sharp pain in her sternum. She needed to get over this. It has been years… years, since Luca had abandoned her.
She’d been a good girlfriend. She’d written, texted, emailed, done all the right things while he was in the military. She’d cried into her pillow at night, prayed for him every evening, and focused on her college studies in order to keep moving forward. They’d had an entire future planned out, and Serenity’s business degree was a big part of it. But he’d never come home.
And it wasn’t for the usual reason.
Luca McCoy was every woman’s dream, and somehow, Serenity had managed to catch his eye. He’d been an upperclassmen while she was a lowly freshman in high school, with braces and frizzy red curls, but she’d still managed to catch the football star’s eye. The first time Luca had held her hand, Serenity had known her life was changed forever.
Despite his height and bulk, Luca was a teddy bear, and Serenity had been the sole focus of his sweet, protective attention. It was the highlight of her life, and their connection had been strong enough to survive several years apart.
Luca had joined the military straight out of high school, and Serenity had been faithful in staying in touch. She’d then gone to college, continuing to be patient with their distance. This was all part of their plan, after all. They knew there’d be sacrifices in order to have everything they wanted, and temporary space between them was one of the worst parts, but they were determined to succeed.
Shaking her head to keep from giving back into the despair that had plagued Serenity for the last four years, she stood up. “I’m gonna go walk on the beach. Did you want to come?” She barely managed to make herself look down. Shiloh had been at Serenity’s side through almost all of the Luca ordeal, which meant she often saw too much.
There were times that Serenity was grateful for such a close best friend, and other times when she wished she was a lone woman on a desert island. Somewhere she could hide, and no one would ever know the humiliation and pain of what she’d endured.
“I’ve got to get this contract finished,” Shiloh said, pushing her oversized computer glasses farther up her straight nose. Her smile wasn’t its usual brightness as she looked up at Serenity. “Enjoy the sun for me, huh? It’s a beautiful day.”
Serenity glanced at the window. “Perfect,” she agreed.” Heading back to her room to grab sneakers and her phone, Serenity was quickly out the door and marching down the block. It was a good mile into town, but she didn’t care. The exercise would do her good.
While she wasn’t what most people would call an athlete, Serenity enjoyed movement. Mostly walking. She walked the beach nearly every morning, rain or shine. Truthfully, living on the Oregon Coast meant that if she wasn’t willing to walk in the rain, she’d barely walk at all.
Good shoes, a warm rain coat, and strong umbrellas were the tools that got her through it all. Downpours, mist, wind, or sun, Serenity had the closet to prove her clothing obsession covered all weather.
She sighed and turned her face up to the sky. Spring was here, and Serenity basked in the hope it brought. Buds were pushing through the ground, grass was turning green, and everything was coming back to life after a dull, gray winter.
So why wasn’t she feeling the same?
“Gonna end up with a burn,” Serenity muttered, opening her eyes to make sure she didn’t trip on anything as she walked. It wasn’t often that having pale skin was a curse when a person lived in the Pacific Northwest, but today, wonderful as it was, was one of those days.
Still…Serenity couldn’t bring herself to be upset about it. The heat felt good, the colors were bright, and life was moving on. She had to move on with it. With or without a significant other.
Men weren’t in that short of supply in her area, but Serenity knew most of them and no one, not one in town, and definitely not one she’d met online, had ever been able to compare to her soldier.
Luca McCoy had left a huge hole in Serenity’s heart when he’d abandoned her.
And the harder Serenity tried to fill it, the more she realized it was an impossible task.
She probably needed to start picking out those pink hats now. At this point, her spinsterhood seemed absolutely inevitable.
Luca groaned as he got out of his pickup, stretching his back and legs. The ride was only a few hours down from Portland, but for some reason, it felt like eons.
He stared at his family house. With his parents gone, the twins had stayed on, building their business from the ground up after college, all while Luca hid from the world like a wounded animal.
He grimaced and adjusted the eye patch on his face. The burn scars were no longer sensitive, but he knew they were more visible with his shaved head.
“Well, well, well…if it isn’t the prodigal son come home.” Jett sauntered down the front porch steps, grinning like a fool.
Luca grunted a laugh. “I think maybe I came to claim my inheritance, rather than spend it while I was away.” He opened his arms and gave his brother a few hearty slaps on the back, probably a little harder than they needed to be, but sometimes the big brother had to be sure and let the others know he was in charge.
“Dude,” Jett barked, shoving Luca back and rolling his shoulder. “If you get any bigger, you’ll be a freight train.”
Luca shrugged. He knew he’d gotten large while working at the facility in Portland. It was his job to help other wounded veterans with their physical training, which naturally led to Luca doing more himself. But it wasn’t like Jett or Tate were small. They just spent their days doing things outside the weight room.
“I’ll pass on the hug, thanks,” Tate drawled from the doorway. “I’ve never enjoyed bruised backs.” He folded his arms over his own broad chest and tilted his head. “Welcome home, big brother.”
Luca nodded in return. “Thanks for having me.”
The silence between them was thick, and Luca searched for a way to ease it. He hadn’t spent significant time with his family in years. Coming home hurt from the military had been a life changer, and Luca’s family had immediately sent him to a place to heal. Problem was, when the physical healing was done, Luca hadn’t come home. The years of separation had only led to more changes, which explained the awkward silence blossoming between the brothers.
It had also led to the greatest regret of Luca’s life…which was why he was finally here.
Jett slapped Luca on the back. “We’re glad you’re here. Our crew is smaller than usual at the moment, and we need someone to do all the heavy lifting.” He smirked. “I think you’ll do just fine as a workhorse.”
Luca gave his brother a look. Jett had always been good at smoothing things over.
“I don’t know,” Tate mused as the other two men grew closer. “You look like the kind of guy in the movies who kills everyone.” Tate rubbed his throat for emphasis. “I’m a little concerned you might take us out in our sleep.”
Luca rolled his good eye. “Not all of us got our mother’s pretty features,” he joked.
Tate scoffed. “I seem to recall that you were called ‘pretty’ plenty of times growing up.”
Luca shrugged again. “Times change.”
“That they do,” Jett said under his breath. He sighed. “How much luggage you got in the back?” He jabbed a thumb toward the truck.
“Just a couple of suitcases and some exercise equipment.”
Jett nodded. “We’ll let you grab it later. Come in and grab a soda.”
Luca obeyed and finally crossed the threshold into his familial home. Growing up in Lighthouse Bay had been an idyllic childhood. Small enough to be cozy but big enough to have a few amenities, the city itself was a hot tourist spot with its line of lighthouses up the coastline and had provided a thousand opportunities for young boys to have fun and get in trouble.
Still, Luca had found himself with a desire to see the world and to protect those he loved. A group that had included many outside of his immediate family.
“What’ll you have?” Jett asked, his hand on the open fridge door. “Root beer? Orange?”
Luca made a face. “You have orange soda? Who drinks that nasty stuff?”
Jett rolled his eyes and tossed a root beer at Luca. “Don’t look at me. Tate seems to think we should have a variety of flavors when clients come over for meetings.”
Tate sat at the bar, tapping his fingers on the counter. “I don’t turn down clients because they like stupid soda flavors,” he argued. “Their money is just as good as a normal person.”
Luca found himself grinning, despite the trepidation he’d arrived with. His eyes wandered the kitchen. “You two haven’t changed much here.” In fact, Luca was positive the house looked exactly the same as it had when he’d left to serve.
Tate shrugged and twisted his mouth to the side. “You know what they say. A contractor’s house is the last one to get remodeled.”
“That or we just don’t care,” Jett added, leaning back against the counter with his own bottle in hand. “It’s not like we have anyone to impress.”
“Speak for yourself,” Tate retorted.
Jett laughed. “Ha! When you finally manage to ask her out, then I’ll start counting her.”
Luca’s eyes shot back and forth between his brothers. “You have a girlfriend, Tate?”
Tate shook his head, though his red ears, an unfortunate family trait, gave away his unease. “No.”
“But he wants one,” Jett offered, still grinning.
“Shut up,” Tate muttered, looking to the side, then coming back to give Luca a look. “Speaking of girlfriends…”
“Don’t,” Luca warned, letting his voice drop low. He wasn’t ready to talk about her yet.
“She’s still single, you know,” Jett offered, elbowing Luca playfully.
“Then the men in this town are dumber than I thought.” Luca took a long swig of his pop, letting the carbonation burn his sinuses before it slid down his throat.
Jett snorted. “I don’t think the men are the problem.”
Luca frowned. “What?”
“She doesn’t give anyone the time of day,” Tate inserted. “I know a few guys who’d be happy to take her out. She turns them all down.” He narrowed his hazel eyes, staying quiet for a moment. “Sometimes I think she’s still waiting for you.”
Luca’s gaze dropped to his bottle. It suddenly became the most interesting thing in the room. He didn’t want to think about her waiting on him. The thought of her wasting that much of her life hurt worse than staying away from her.
Luca still loved Serenity. She’d been his reason for everything, including living and breathing during basic training and when he’d gotten hurt. Thoughts and memories of the woman he loved had been all he needed to get up every day and keep trying.
Their contact had been cut off during his injury. He’d been in and out of surgeries and then in the rehab center, making it near impossible for him to communicate with her for a while. Then, as things had slowed down and he’d started to heal, he’d realized just how much he was changing.
It was the change that had shaken him.
The physical changes were bad enough, but the mental and emotional ones had caused Luca to second guess everything, his relationship with his family and Serenity especially. It was a new concept for him. He’d never doubted Serenity before, but every time he looked in the mirror, he wondered if he could do it.
Could he ask her to take him on now that he’d lost an eye? Now that he had scarring down his neck? Now that he looked like a thug instead of the young, duty-driven man she’d sent away to the military?
He’d also grown quieter and more realistic as he’d healed. He wasn’t a dreamer, anymore, and his ability to serve his country had been cut off at the knees. Luca had come home, knowing he was going to work for his younger brothers, but really, he had no idea what he was going to do with his life for the long term.
Serenity deserved better. She deserved someone who wasn’t a coward and hadn’t run away from her at the first signs of trouble. Luca might be back in town, but he wasn’t sure he’d ever be able to face her like a man.
“She’s not waiting for me,” he ground out, still studying his bottle. “That scenario ended a long time ago. The Luca she waited for didn’t make it back from the field. He’d been dead for years.”