Chapter 5
Chapter Five
W hy was life so hard? Serenity grunted as she shoved a stack of boxes a little farther back, making room for even more boxes. She didn’t even remember having ordered this many items! Where did they all come from?
Sweat trickled down her temple, and she wiped at it with the back of her hand, only to wipe the moisture on her already damp t-shirt. “How do people live in hot places?” she murmured. The morning sun was flaring in the front windows of her shop and usually Serenity loved the brightness, but this morning while she was working like a donkey, she felt hot and sticky all over. It reminded her of the one time she traveled south.
She was never going there again.
Straightening, she put her hands on her low back and stretched, closing her eyes as the joints slowly shifted back to normal positions. Turning around, she barely bit back a scream. “Sorry,” she said breathlessly, hoping Luca didn’t hear the catch in her voice.
Luca shook his head, keeping his eyes down. “Sorry. I thought you heard me.” Setting down a couple of boxes, he turned and went to get more from the back.
“Stupid fans,” Serenity muttered under her breath. She couldn’t hear anything with those fans going.
Luca must have worked late into the night last night because he’d managed to move about half of her inventory into the attic and torn up the floorboards they’d been sitting on.
This morning, they were putting the rest of the inventory in the actual shop since the attic was getting too crowded. Then Luca would tear up the rest of the floor and wall trim.
“And add more fans,” Serenity said sarcastically as she went back into the storage. “Yay.”
“What was that?” Luca shouted.
Serenity shook her head, and Luca went back to his task. She watched him bend and grab two large boxes at a time before hefting them into the front room. The shape of his bicep was hard to look away from…and even harder to not wonder what it would feel like to be held in arms that large.
Closing her eyes, Serenity shook her head.
“Keep to yourself,” she whispered. “Keep to yourself.” She paused for just a moment at one of the floor fans, letting the blast of air hit her ankles. It did nothing for the sweat-covered neck and sticky hair she was sporting, but it still felt good.
The noise, however, was enough to drive a person insane.
Movement in her peripheral vision had her jumping again when Luca came to grab more boxes.
He never even looked her way, keeping his eyes on the boxes, stepping out of the storage room and into the front. She should be helping. She needed to be helping, but Serenity was whiplashing so hard emotionally that she could barely breathe. Clenching her fists, she stormed outside for a break.
Moving to the side of the door, she leaned her back against the building and raised her face to the sky, closing her eyes. The partly cloudy day was perfectly typical of western Oregon, as was the breeze that teased her damp skin.
Blowing out a breath, Serenity tried to get her muscles to relax, but it was harder than it should have been.
How was she going to do this? How long could she last with Luca in her shop? It would be stupid to deny that she was still attracted to him. She could barely look away from his broad back, and her stomach flipped every time his eye managed to land on her.
He was being utterly true to his word that he wouldn’t bother her. He’d barely spoken five words to her since arriving, and just as he’d said, there’d been a note on her desk when she’d arrived this morning, detailing the work he’d done and the work left to do.
She’d almost cried reading it.
Squeezing her eyes, Serenity leaned forward then let her head fall back against the building again with a thud . Ow. Maybe the hit would knock some sense into her.
Reading Luca’s note should have been a simple business transaction. He was there to work, after all. Instead, it felt like a slap in the face. Like he was purposefully avoiding her. Which, of course, he was, just like she’d agreed to. But the pencil scribblings had felt impersonal and efficient, and the more Serenity thought on the pain they created, the more she wanted something else.
The more Luca stayed quiet, the more she wanted him to speak to her.
The more he ducked his head and moved out of her way, the more she wanted to be near him.
It was an illogical game of cat and mouse, only Serenity was supposed to be the mouse! She shouldn’t want the cat’s attention! The last time she’d had it, the cat had walked away, never to look back.
Even now, she knew Luca hadn’t come back to see her. He hadn’t come back to try and make amends. He’d come back to work for his brothers. Plain and simple.
“You. Will. Not. Cry,” Serenity whispered to herself. “He left you. That chapter has closed, and once the shop is fixed, this chapter will also be closed.”
Why did those words hurt so much?
They weren’t supposed to hurt. They were supposed to calm and soothe her. Instead, she found herself feeling contrary and rebellious. Part of her wanted to spend time at his side. Touch his face and ask about his injuries. She wanted to see if he could still possibly be attracted to her the way she was attracted to him.
“No,” she whispered hoarsely.
What happened when he decided to leave again? She couldn’t give in to those feelings. She couldn’t. Luca’s absence had done more than just ruin their relationship, it had ruined her trust.
He didn’t deserve to be forgiven for that.
Serenity slowly slid to the ground, wrapping her arms around her knees. Deserved. She hated that word. Who got to decide who deserved what?
Did she deserve to have her heart broken? No.
Did Luca deserve to lose his eye and get burned? Probably not.
Did Shiloh deserve a roommate who was broken and always complaining about men? Absolutely no.
Serenity sighed and brought her head back up just as a raindrop hit her forehead. Squinting, she looked up. “What’s up with water and my shop?” she muttered, climbing to her feet and dusting off her jeans.
With another beleaguered sigh, she headed back inside to the noisy, awkwardness that was her current life.
She still had no idea what to do about Luca. She was attracted to him. She was curious about him. She wanted answers and explanations, but didn’t know how to ask for them.
And most of all, she didn’t trust him.
At least that was where she struggled the most.
Trusting Luca had been so simple when they were young, but now she was torn. He’d hurt her. She should want nothing to do with him.
And yet her stupid, ridiculous, dumb heart couldn’t quite let it go.
She was such a disaster.
Luca was in it deep.
It was only day two of this project, and already, he wasn’t sure how he was going to survive. He should have gone ahead and beat up one of his brothers last night. At least it would give him something to think on this morning.
Something that didn’t have to do with Serenity’s luscious red hair, or full lips or wide, expression-filled eyes.
He couldn’t decide if she was terrified of his eye patch, or on edge because the man she hated most in the world was working right beside her.
Every time Luca turned around…she was there.
The fans made it difficult for him to hear what she was saying, but during their time apart, she apparently had never lost her habit of talking to herself. Luca couldn’t help but see her lips move and mutter as she made her way through the storage boxes.
He’d nearly thrown his back out this morning, trying to carry several at once, just so he could get to the part of the renovation where she couldn’t help him.
True to her personality, Serenity had insisted on helping move boxes into the front room. Luca was extremely grateful that he’d stayed late last night and taken nearly half the boxes up to the attic.
He could only imagine how much worse it would be if he still had hours of this manual labor to go. As it was, he thought maybe they’d have everything moved in the next half hour or so.
Then he would go back to tearing up floors and setting up fans, work that meant Serenity would be elsewhere.
There weren’t the right words in the English language to describe how relieving that would be.
Luca grunted as he hefted a couple more boxes, careful to keep his eyes down and maneuver around Serenity’s slim form as she came back in from taking a break. He’d been working hard to keep his promise of staying out of her way, but it was made difficult when she insisted on being in his way.
Luca knew it would be hard to be around her. He knew it would be uncomfortable and he knew he still had feelings for her.
What he hadn’t realized was how much seeing her in person again would bring back a depth to his feelings that he didn’t even realize were still there.
He thought he’d remembered her beauty in his memories. But time had been good to Serenity, and she’d only become more jaw-dropping during their years apart. Her hair was like fire, her eyes two wide open lakes, her skin creamier than Luca could ever have imagined and her mouth…geez, had the good Lord ever created a set of lips so perfect?
Luca gave his head a hard shake. Some lucky dog was going to have access to her for the rest of their lives, and Luca was determined more than ever not to be here when it happened.
He couldn't do it. He couldn’t stand by while someone else claimed her. Even though she was still single now, it didn’t mean anything. Serenity was too kind, too gorgeous, and too successful for her to continue to remain single.
Luca had heard rumors since coming back to town. Rumors about her shop and how well she was doing. She was one of the busiest shops on the street. It seemed that all of Serenity’s dreams were coming true. She’d always loved living in a smaller town and didn’t want to leave. She was going to wait right here until Luca finished his world travels and came home to her.
She’d been true to her word…Luca had not.
And with every glance at her in his peripheral vision, he was paying for that mistake. What would his life have been like if he’d held onto her? Provided she hadn’t run screaming from his injuries and scars, Luca knew for a fact that they’d be married by now. Would they be expecting their first child? Would they have waited to start a family? Would he have gone into business with his brothers or found a new career?
A deep ache pulsed in Luca’s sternum. He might not be a touchy feely guy, but Luca knew exactly what he was feeling.
Longing.
“And you have no one to blame but yourself,” he muttered, wiping at his sweating forehead. The humidity from the moisture was killing him today. It was times like this he was grateful that he’d been raised in the Pacific Northwest. He’d take chilly, gray skies any day over constant heat and sun.
“I’m going to take a lunch break!” Serenity shouted over the fans.
Luca looked up and gave her a nod before going back to work. He barely held in his breath of relief. His stomach might agree with her timing for a break, but he was absolutely not going to stop now. If he hurried, he could finish while she was gone and then have the afternoon to himself.
Pulling up floors and ripping trim from walls wasn’t exactly within her capabilities. Though Luca had to admit he wouldn’t put it past her to try.
“Here.”
Nearly jumped out of his skin when a bottle of cold water was thrust into his vision. She’d come up from his blind side, and with the fans running, Luca hadn’t heard Serenity approach.
He looked at her, knowing that his confusion was showing on his face. “Uh…thanks.”
Serenity shrugged. Her cheeks were flushed, but was it because of the heat in the building or because her skin showed blushes easily?. “It’s hot in here,” she shouted over the noise.
Luca didn’t get a chance to answer before she spun on her heel and marched away. He watched her ponytail swing with every step, his fingers nearly crushing the bottle in his hand.
Swallowing heavily, Luca forced his hand to relax. In an effort to keep himself under control, he ripped the lid off the bottle and chugged half of it in one gulp. The cold ran down his chest and landed in his stomach, but it did nothing to alleviate his discomfort.
Closing his eyes, Luca wiped his forehead with the back of his hand, grimacing at the moisture he found there.
What had he been thinking when he came home? There was no greater torture on the face of the Earth than to have what a person wanted more than anything in the world be so close and yet so untouchable.
If he’d known how much it would hurt to be this close to her, he probably wouldn’t have been able to leave Portland.
And her kindness? The fact that she let him in the door and did little things like bring him cold water? It just made it harder.
Chugging the rest of the cold liquid, Luca crushed the bottle in a satisfying crunch and tossed it in a nearby garbage can.
Taking a deep breath, he went back to moving boxes. He would eat later, when Serenity went home or upstairs to her office. Sometime when they wouldn’t run into each other and he would be left by himself to once again go over how much of an idiot he was.
Maybe he could try to figure out what career he wanted instead of letting Serenity take up so much of his mind. It would certainly be a safer topic. Problem was…it didn’t matter what topic he came up with, everything led back to Serenity.
Everything.
He should never have come home. This had been a mistake.