Chapter 8
Chapter Eight
“ H ere.” Shiloh came into Serenity’s room holding a glass of water and a handful of pills. “I’m sure your head is going to be a mess today.”
Serenity blew out a breath. “It's already a mess. Somehow I doubt the pills will fix that,” she admitted. Accepting the offering, Serenity gently threw back the pills and swallowed the lot of them at once.
“Wow. Impressive.” Shiloh waited until Serenity had finished with the glass, then took it back. “So…you going back to sleep for a while then?”
Serenity shook her head, then winced. “No. I’m going to the shop.”
“You can’t be serious.”
Serenity looked up at her friend. “I have work to do.” She didn’t tell Shiloh that laying in bed wasn’t doing Serenity any good. Her mind seemed to be very good at replaying the situation over and over. In fact, Serenity had woken up more than once last night, positive that she could feel the cold pressure against her head.
If she didn’t get out of bed and do something, she was going to go insane.
The second reason Serenity wanted to get back to work, however, was one that she didn’t even want to admit to herself.
She hadn’t felt safe since Luca walked out of her room yesterday.
Shiloh had been great. She’d hovered like a mother hen, brought Serenity everything she needed, waited outside the bathroom while Serenity showered…her bestie had gone above and beyond, but beautiful, feminine Shiloh simply didn’t provide Serenity with the same protective vibes that Luca did.
Shiloh sighed and put her free hand on her hip. “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
“I know.” Serenity stood and waited for the room to stop spinning. “But I can’t stay here, Shi.” She hated that there were tears in her voice. Clearing her throat, she tried again. “I can’t.”
Shiloh sighed again. “Fine. But I’ll be checking in every hour, on the hour.”
Serenity chuckled, then rubbed her temple. “Yes, mother.”
Shiloh walked toward the door. “Without yours here, someone has to do it.” She paused in the doorway. “Please promise you won’t do too much?”
Serenity looked at her friend, who was more sister than anything else, and gave a tired smile. “I’ll try.”
“Don’t make me get Luca in on this.” Shiloh raised an eyebrow.
Serenity scowled. “What does he have to do with it?” Everything. Luca has everything to do with it, but Shiloh didn’t need to know that.
“He’s huuuuge,” Shiloh said with a laugh. “If someone needed to stop you, don’t tell me that man doesn’t have the capability to do it.”
Serenity wanted to roll her eyes, but she didn’t want the pain it would cause. “Whatever,” she mumbled. “I’m gonna shower and go over.”
“You’re going to shower, eat breakfast, and then go over,” Shiloh shouted over her shoulder.
“Bossy.”
“Good thing you’re obedient, then!”
Serenity couldn’t help but smile. The world was a better place with people like Shiloh in it, even if her overprotectiveness did drive Serenity crazy sometimes.
It took Serenity almost two hours to get to the building. She ended up having to sit down after every activity and breathe for a few minutes. Her whole body was aching, and it had taken forever for the pain meds to kick in enough for her to move without wincing at every turn.
But armed with a backpack of snacks to keep her blood sugar up, a huge water bottle normally reserved for exercise and an extra cord to charge her phone (insisted on by Shiloh), Serenity finally arrived in her parking lot.
She moved much slower than she wanted, but she was glad to be there and couldn’t seem to help the anticipation that was building in her belly at seeing Luca.
Even though he’d also been hurt yesterday, she knew he’d be there. Work had always been his antidote. They were a little too alike sometimes.
Taking a deep breath, Serenity tightly gripped the straps of her backpack and began walking down the gravel alley to the backside of her building. Luca’s truck was back there already, and the closer she got, the louder the fans became.
Her cheek and temple seemed to throb in remembrance of yesterday’s ordeal, and Serenity found her breathing growing ragged and shallow the closer she came to the back door.
Pausing at the corner, she put a hand on the side of the building and tried to regulate her breathing. In…out…in…out…
“What the he—...what are you doing here?”
Serenity’s eyes snapped open to find a very angry, bald giant staring down at her. She blinked, and his anger seemed to disappear, leaving behind furrowed eyebrows and a wrinkled forehead that spoke of concern.
“I own this place,” Serenity rasped, her breathing getting out of control again.
Luca’s eye widened, and he shook his head. “You should be at home, recovering.”
She pointed at his arm. “So should you.”
Luca shrugged. “I was barely hurt.” His gaze caressed her face, and Serenity couldn’t deny how much it warmed her from the inside out. “You, on the other hand, had a severe concussion. You need to be in bed.”
Serenity pinched her lips, trying not to show how much her vision was beginning to swim. “I have…” Her chest began to heave, and she closed her eyes. “Work…”
Before her knees could buckle, gentle but strong arms slipped around her, and Serenity’s face buried in Luca’s broad chest. “You can barely stand,” he whispered in a husky tone.
His large hands were splayed across her back, pulling her in tightly enough to keep Serenity upright and she melted into the embrace.
Safe.
Warm.
Protected.
…Loved.
The last word to float through her mind had Serenity’s eyes jerking open, and Luca eased his hold.
Putting a hand against his chest, she pushed back, and Luca didn’t fight her. “I need to stay busy,” she said bluntly.
Luca grumbled and rubbed a hand over his head. “I get it.” He looked at the back alley, then her. “But your body isn’t ready.”
“I can’t stop thinking…” Serenity let the words trail off and closed her eyes again. The sharp pinch on the side of her head…fear flooding her system like a tsunami, raging in a way she’d never experienced before…
“Seri.” Luca’s deep voice penetrated her nightmare. “Seri. You’re safe. I’m here. It’s alright.”
She squeezed her eyes for just a moment longer before opening them. “They say you have to get back on the horse after a fall,” she whispered.
Luca stared at her, his eye seeming to look deeper than just the cuts and bruises on her face. Serenity held still, somehow knowing he saw every thought in her mind.
“Okay,” Luca said with a slow nod. “But will you let me help?”
Serenity’s eyes widened. She did want his help. More than she wanted to admit. But to have him ask? Somehow, that act forced her to remember all that had happened between them.
The old Luca wouldn’t have asked. He wouldn’t have hurt her, but he would have simply done what needed to be done, expecting her to accept his help no matter what.
Was his hesitance because they weren’t dating anymore? Or did it have more to do with the person he was now?
“I’d appreciate it,” Serenity finally admitted, although she was taking too long to answer. She didn’t miss the sigh of relief or the slight relaxing of his shoulders at her agreement, and it made her want to smile.
Beneath it all, some parts of Luca were still the same and for that, Serenity was very, very grateful.
Could this day get any worse?
Or maybe any better?
Luca wasn’t sure which way it was going.
He wrapped his arm around Serenity’s waist and guided her inside. The noise of the fans made talking impossible, so he didn’t bother trying. Having his arm around her was difficult enough, but trying to have a coherent conversation? Not in this lifetime.
When he’d seen her resting against the side of the building, his anger had hit the roof immediately. What was she thinking? But after hearing her explanation, Luca knew he couldn’t stay upset. She was trying to face a terrifying situation head on.
That was something to be admired, not corrected.
Though it physically hurt him to see her. If he could, he’d take the bruises and cuts away from her and put them on himself. It made him clench his teeth to think about the fact that he could have been too late.
Finding a chair in the front of the store, Luca helped Serenity sit. “What do you need?” he asked. “Water? Food?”
Serenity laughed softly. “Always the caretaker,” she murmured.
Luca didn’t answer. He wasn’t sure he was supposed to hear that.
Serenity cleared her throat. “Shiloh set me up with everything I should need today.” She pointed to the bag hanging over her back. “But I don’t want to stay back here. I want to help.”
The snort was out of Luca’s mouth before he could stop it.
Serenity’s glared, her blue eyes narrowing in on him, challenging the noise. “What was that supposed to mean?”
Luca rubbed his head. “Nothing.”
She tilted her head and pursed her lips. “Bull.”
He snorted again, but this time one side of his mouth pulled up. “Have you developed some new habits I should be aware of?”
Serenity rolled her eyes, then winced. “If you want potty mouths, go back to the military.” She froze. “Sorry. I shouldn’t have said that.” Her eyes darted back and forth from his eyepatch to her lap, obviously uncomfortable that he couldn’t actually go back to the military.
Luca shrugged. “I wasn’t offended.” He’d had a long time to get over those kinds of remarks, especially when he knew they were only said as a tease. “And you’re right. Lots of potty mouths there.”
Serenity gave him a grateful smile. “Sorry. That was very uncouth of me.”
He shrugged again. “It’s true, and I’m fully aware they won’t have me back.” He tapped his eyepatch. “The reminder is a little hard to ignore.”
Serenity leaned back in her seat. “Can I…ask a question?”
Luca waited, his heart thumping painfully against his sternum.
“Why the shaved head?” She tilted her head from side to side. “You actually have some stubble, so it doesn’t look like you lost it. Are you going for the assassin look? Do you have a motorcycle somewhere I’m not aware of?”
Luca chuckled, a wide smile spreading across his face. He couldn't remember the last time he’d smiled this big. “Assassin?”
Serenity raised her eyebrows, waiting him out.
“Sorry to disappoint you,” he continued, “but no. I haven’t decided to become an assassin in my spare time. In fact, it would seem really stupid to become an assassin and then try to fit the physical mold of one. Wouldn’t I want to not look like an assassin if I really was one?”
Serenity pursed her lips, tapping them with a long, thin finger. “I suppose that’s a good point. Hollywood should work on that, because seriously, you look like a hitman.” She frowned. “What about the motorcycle?”
“No.”
Serenity sighed and held her hands out to the side. “And there goes the fantasies. Boo.”
Luca’s eyes flared, but he quickly schooled his expression. Did she really mean that she was having fantasies about him? Or just teasing in their conversation? He wasn’t really sure what he was hoping for, but the longer this kind of flirting went on, the harder it was going to be to walk away when all was said and done.
“Shiloh will be so disappointed.”
Aaaand there it was. Serenity wasn’t even talking about her own fantasies, but of Shiloh’s.
“Well, you can apologize to her for me.” Luca straightened and turned to go. “Let me know if you need anything,” he tossed over his shoulder.
“Luca!”
He jerked to a stop right before going through the door to the storage room, looking back. “Yeah?” There’d been panic in her voice, and he didn’t like it.
Serenity stood and walked somewhat quickly toward him, slightly unsteady on her feet, causing Luca to lunge forward and reach for her.
“I thought you were going to sit here for a while,” he muttered.
Serenity’s hands were wrapped around his arm, clenching hard. “I…” She swallowed and her gaze wandered the space. “I don’t know why I yelled.”
Luca sighed. He’d seen this before with guys at the facility. She wasn’t just hurt, she was scared. Leaving her alone would probably only make it worse. “Why don’t we bring some boxes in here and start going through them? You can tell me what you can salvage and what needs to be thrown away.”
Her grip tightened. “You’re coming back?” Her blue eyes were wide and searching as she stared at him.
Luca nodded, staying as steady as possible. “I’m coming right back. In fact, you can talk to me the whole time, if you want. Or I’ll talk to you.” Shifting just a little, he took the chance to give into his desires and pulled her into his chest again, this time for a hug, rather than keeping her knees from buckling.
He let his hand go up and down her back, wishing he had a right to do that all the time, rather than when she was out of her mind with fear. “I’m here,” he whispered, dropping his chin to her hair and resting there. “You’re safe. It’s going to be okay.”
Several long heartbeats went by before she spoke. “I don’t understand what’s happening to me,” Serenity whispered thickly.
Luca tightened his hold slightly. If only he had the power to put her together again. “This is perfectly normal,” he assured her. “Give yourself a little time to heal, Seri. The scratches are probably going to be the easiest part of this.”
She didn’t speak, but she didn’t step out of his hold either, so Luca let himself imagine. Turning his head, he rested his cheek on her hair, smelling the flowery shampoo she used and closing his eyes as memories assailed him. Memories of holding her close and tilting her chin up for a kiss. Memories of whispered words and hopes and dreams that never ended up coming true.
Memories of a family that would never be.
He blinked and straightened. He’d rather go through his PTSD recovery again than deal with this. “Go back to your chair, and I’ll start bringing you boxes.”
When she didn’t argue, Luca sent a quick gratitude prayer toward the ceiling. Heaven only knew he didn’t have the strength to fight her right now…or more likely…ever.