Gavin
I’m in the woods. Barefoot in the snow, cold, tears down my face, and covered in Mama’s blood.
After my father murdered her in front of me, I jetted from underneath the bed and ran out of the basement.
Tears were still falling from Mama’s eyes when I left; I wanted to wipe them off her face so badly.
I was the last person she saw before she took her last breath.
It brings me solace that it was I she saw last, and not my father.
I swear I saw a little curve of her pale lips before they went lifeless.
I hang onto the bark of the tree, planting my back ramrod straight until it hurts. Frostbite is already doing a number on the bottom of my feet. I didn’t have time to grab my boots before I sprinted out of there, terrified.
I made my mom a promise, and I already broke it, but now I need to keep the promise to stay alive for her.
I hold all of the emotions of grief and pure blackened anger. Mama is dead. I’ll never get to see her again because of my father. He took her away from me, and yet I still can’t bring myself to hurt him if he tries to hurt me.
“Gavin! I know you’re out here. I can see your footprints, boy!” he slurs slowly and drunkenly.
Of course, he tracked me fast. I’m no match for a six-foot-four man who hunts every season. Except I’m the prey. Will he kill me slowly like he did my mother? Or will he make it fast?
I peer over my shoulder, just one calculated glimpse won’t hurt, right? I think to myself as I shiver all over, both from the overwhelming fear and unforgiving Alaskan winter weather. I don’t see anything but vast darkness and snowfall on my left side.
I was never that close to my dad. I was always attached to Mama by the hip. Always looking for her guidance, her warmth, her support, and love. She’s the only one I receive it from.
I look over to my right, holding my breath as my lungs burn from icy winds.
With blurred vision, I see the cabin in the distance, looking worn out and neglected, with my father’s hoarding habit filling our land one garbage pile at a time.
If I keep running straight, I should hit the lake that runs through here, and on the other side should be the main road leading to downtown.
It’s miles away, but I think I can brave it out just a few more hours of this. I should be able to survive the storm.
As soon as I take one step, I’m off my feet and being held in the air by a man who looks like my father, but his soul is long gone. Wide eyes, blackened irises, stone-cold pale expression with no remorse. He’s ready to end me.
At least I’ll get to be with Mama.
“Found you,” he spits with wrath, saliva falling out of chapped lips as he holds his only child like we’re strangers. There’s a flash of emotion—maybe regret—before he raises his knife into the air and takes aim for my heart. I shut my eyes, hoping it doesn’t hurt too much.
“I’ll be with Mama. I’ll be with Mama,” I chant to myself repeatedly, waiting for the pain.
Then, a gunshot rings out.
“Gavin. It’s me. Wake up, please.” Someone’s familiar angelic voice brings me out of the worst memory.
Olive skin. Honey eyes. Soft, glowing, long, curly hair. I’m out of hell and surrounded by heaven. And her name is Coraline Rosa. She’s here, she’s right here with me. I’m not in the woods, scared for my life.
I’m taking slow, long, deep breaths as my arms are wrapped around her naked body. We’re tangled in my bed sheets, warm and away from the cold air. Back in my bedroom and far away from the basement.
“You were mumbling in your sleep.” She rubs my back in circles with her palm. The more she does, the calmer I feel. God, she’s the only one who can do that. She makes a bad day feel like it never happened.
“I’m sorry, sweetheart. Did I wake you?” I groan, running my hands over her breast and down the small of her back.
She nods, hesitation written all over her cute, sleepy face.
“What did you hear?” I ask honestly.
When did I start doing that? And why are the nightmares back and so vividly?
“I couldn’t decipher much.” She runs her hand through my beard, slowly.
She loves doing that. Every time we kiss, she does it.
“Something about your dad hurting your mom,” she says, merely a whisper.
She chokes up on the last word, flinching with a flash of melancholy.
I don’t say anything. Of course, my trauma spills over to the light.
“Your father was The Sleepy Coldwater Serial Killer…wasn’t he?
” Her forehead dips lower as she asks me a question I really don’t want to answer. I pause and give her a slow nod.
I wait for her to cower away. To look at me like everyone else in this small town. But…she doesn’t. She bats her lashes slowly, looking at me like she always does.
Like I’m worth getting to know.
Patient. Kind. And warm.
I knew it was coming. With all those basement trips she’s been doing, I was just waiting for her to say something or run away, but she’s still here, and I’m not letting her go.
“I want to see you naked. No, not your body.” Hearing her say those words to me seizes my flesh and bones, and my chest swells. She moves closer to me, placing her hand over mine, encouraging me. “Bare your soul to me,” she begs softly. “I’m not going anywhere, Gavin.”
I close my eyes and grind my jaw until it hurts. Pressing her soft lips to my cheek, she slithers off the bed. First, she slides her legs into jeans and dresses herself as she waits for me to get comfortable.
This woman. God, this patient, celestial woman. How am I ever going to let her go? The answer is, I can’t and won’t.
“My father,” I choke out. “My father murdered my mother before he tried to kill me.” My entire body starts to shake. She gathers all of her hair and pushes it to the right side of her neck, and sits next to me.
“Keep going,” she encourages, running her hand in circles on my back.
“I ran. I ran from the basement, where my bedroom used to be. Where he ended my mother’s life.
I ran into the woods during a snowstorm, and he found me within minutes.
” My vision blurs, but I blink the tears of pain away.
I have to do this. If she can bare her soul to me, then I have to do the same for her.
“But then my mother’s best friend shot him before he could give me one more scar with his knife. ”
I look at her, and the sight has my heart chipping. Coraline has tears streaked down her face. Puffy lips and red cheeks, I want to kiss away.
“Merelyn,” she says.
I nod.
“You’re the first person I’ve told that story to who wasn’t the police or Merelyn. You make falling apart easy.” I cup her small, heart-shaped face with my hands and bring her in for a lethal kiss. “You make falling apart okay. Are you my safe haven, sweetheart?” I murmur against her chest.
“Yes. I’m here for you in any way you need…” Her tone breaks, then she sniffles.
“Don’t feel sorry for me. Don’t do that.” I curl my arm around her, bringing her closer to me. I just need to feel her on me.
“Merelyn saved you?” she asks.
“Yes.”
When the shot went off with my dad still holding me in the air, I swear I thought I had blinked, and I was in the afterlife.
When I opened my eyes, he dropped the knife and had a hole in his chest, blood running down his shirt and onto the snow.
Merelyn stood beside me, like my personal guardian angel, with tears clinging to her lashes.
I’m forever in her debt. She’s my only family, and the only reason why I came back to Sleepy Coldwater despite the horrid memories.
“I’ve been scared all my life that I would become like him.
He struggled significantly and never got help.
They say mental illness can be genetic. So if I stay here, in isolation, I don’t have to let anyone in, I won’t get a chance to become like him, right?
But after he died, everyone looked at me like they did him.
” I flick my gaze at her as agony rips through me like a tidal wave.
Flashes of my dead mother looking at me on the ground with a small smile on her pale face return.
“I refused to be even a fraction of what he was and joined the military instead. I worked hard to become just like my brave mother. To save those who can’t save themselves.
I was content for fifteen years. Fifteen years of service, intense missions, and travel, but still, something was missing, Coraline.
That missing piece in my life is you.” I can’t help but smile. Fuck, I’m a fool for her.
She stares at me, hearing me out, running her thumb in circles over my wrist. Then lets out a sad whimper, wiping away her tears fast with the back of her hand before she presses her perfect, pouty lips on mine.
We move together in sync like we always do.
The movements are lustful healing and slow, relishing each kiss until it’s engraved into our brains.
“I think you’re giving me too much credit for such a short amount of time, Gavin.
” Her voice is like a melody feathering my lips.
She doesn’t know how long I’ve been wanting this.
As I listen to her heartbeat, I gather the courage I need to say what I’ve been wanting to for a long time.
She’s everything—a beautiful woman who yearns to find something real in this cruel world.
“Your art speaks words without a voice. It evokes emotions I didn’t know I had. You make me feel less alone. And most of all, you make me feel like I can conjure dreams and not just nightmares.”
I feel her stiffen.
“Gavin?” She pulls away from me, her smile faltering. Her eyes vehemently pinball left and right, searching for an answer. I don’t want her to run away, but I need to remind her how amazing and perfect she is, just the way she is.
“What if we hadn’t just met? What if I fell in love with you before you saw me?
” I ask, my needy gaze intertwining with her perplexed one.
“I’ve been waiting for this moment for what feels like an eternity.
The stars are finally aligning, and I would give anything in the world to keep waking up to you in my bed like this. ”
She huffs out a nervous laugh and takes loose curls behind her ear. “What are you talking about?” Her dark brows raise as she inches away from me. Her quivering smile stays strong on her beautiful face.
“Don’t look at me like that. Don’t be afraid.” Her pink lips pull into a frown.
A blood-curdling scream shatters the moment. We dart our gaze toward the sound as a woman continues to shout, her voice turning raspy. It’s coming from next door, but it’s so loud, and it filters through the cabin.
It’s Georgia.