Chapter 3 #2
I’d stared at him. Arlo hadn’t moved from behind the drum set, the sticks still twirling in his hands. “What do you mean no? You can’t stop me resigning, Arlo.”
“You’re not resigning. You accepted this job, and now you’re going to do it. I’m not letting you quit. Not over this, anyway.”
Arlo had begun to play, the sound of the drums drowning out my feeble protests.
He didn’t pay any attention to what he was doing, just kept playing until I gave up.
The whole time he watched me, he’d had a slight smirk twisting his lips.
I hadn’t brought it up again.
Four months later and we’d settled into an unspoken quasi-truce. Arlo didn’t pull any more stunts, and I backed off when he decided to find someone to hook up with.
Not that he took it too far. For someone who’d been prepared to risk it all, he kept things surprisingly PG. I hadn’t seen him do more than make out with someone while grinding on the dance floor.
I hadn’t been watching him because I needed to know the details of what he was doing, but because it was my job.
Despite spending over twelve hours a day with Arlo, six days a week, we hadn’t got closer. Which was good—he was my client, after all. I wasn’t supposed to form a bond with him other than the professional one specified in my contract.
My job was to watch him. And if I watched him a little closer after our argument in the club, that was a secret I’d take to the grave.
Observing him gave me all these unexpected snippets of his personality.
Things he tried to hide away, or that maybe I just hadn’t been paying attention to in the past. Such as how he tapped his hands on any available surface, like he was itching for his sticks.
Or the fact that he seemed to subsist almost entirely on a diet of Tizer and sour Haribo, a combination that made me shudder.
Most of all though, I noticed his dark days. The times when he retreated so far into himself that even his friends couldn’t pry him back out.
“It’s just Arlo,” Luca had said with a shrug when I’d brought it up to him. “He’s always been like that. Don’t worry, he’ll come around.”
I didn’t like Luca’s dismissive attitude. Then again, he was twenty-two. I didn’t imagine many guys his age worried about the state of their friend’s mental health.
I had six years and a fuck-tonne of experience on Luca though. Experience watching my friend go through hell and back. Of how his brain tortured him relentlessly, breaking him apart over and over again.
The idea of Arlo going through something similar was…uncomfortable. I didn’t like it.
Because he was my client. That was the only reason. If he were happy and stable, then my job would be easier.
I found myself paying more attention to Arlo’s moods, trying to figure out what might trigger him. What I could maybe do to help him on the days when his darkness seemed too heavy for him to carry alone.
I was still puzzling over him as Kevin wrapped up a particularly tedious meeting about plans for their upcoming tour.
They were opening for a popular singer in various stadiums all over the world.
It was a huge opportunity for Caffeine Daydreams, especially given how recently they’d burst onto the scene.
It’d be interesting to see Arlo in a new environment. Plus, it’d give me a chance to stretch myself a bit. Now that Arlo had stopped pulling disappearing acts, my job had become…not boring, exactly. I didn’t think it was possible to be around Arlo and describe your day as boring.
It certainly was predictable though. Hopefully the tour would spice things up a bit. Not that I wanted them at the level of what I’d been used to in the SAS—far from it.
But having to use a bit more of my skill set might be fun.
Kevin dismissed us all and the room filled with the sound of people packing things into their bags.
“What are your plans for Christmas?” Simon asked. Luca’s guard was tall and slim, an easy smile on his face at all times. He seemed nice enough, although I had to admit I hadn’t made an effort to get to know him.
It was nothing personal. I hadn’t made the effort with anyone here. After what I’d been through with Corey and the others, it was a world of hurt I wasn’t keen on inviting in again.
“Going back home,” I told him tightly. “Mum has a big do every year. Whole family goes.”
Not that I’d been for a while. Near a decade, if I was being honest. Mum didn’t hold it against me—after all, I’d been overseas for most of them.
She was expecting me to make an appearance this year though. Guilt trickled through me as I thought about how little I was looking forward to it.
It was nothing to do with my family. They were lovely. Great even. But it was hard to sit and make small talk with them after so many years of only flying visits. We had nothing in common.
The one person I did have things in common with wasn’t speaking to me.
I’d assumed Dad would understand why I’d chosen to leave the SAS.
“Never thought I’d be ashamed to call you my son, but here we are.”
I’d assumed wrong.
So no, I wasn’t looking forward to it.
“How about you?” My question was asked out of politeness, another thing hammered into me by the army.
“Going home too,” he said. “Luca’s going to see his Mum, so I’m not needed. What’s Arlo doing?”
“Seeing his parents too, I think.”
Rhys, Silas’s guard, glanced up at that. “Doubt it.”
“What do you mean?”
The big man shifted uncomfortably in his seat. “From what I’ve picked up from Silas, Arlo isn’t close to his family. Got a shittier relationship with his parents than Silas does, and that’s saying something.”
My spine stiffened at the knowledge that Rhys apparently knew more about Arlo than I did. It was true that Arlo hadn’t visited his parents since that day he’d done a runner, but I hadn’t read anything into it. Wasn’t like I was popping up to see my own family on my days off.
Did that mean Arlo was going to be alone on Christmas?
It shouldn’t have bothered me. He was just my client. I might have been required to keep him out of trouble, but that didn’t mean it was on me to make sure he wasn’t lonely.
It was still playing on my mind as I waited for him to finish his meeting. The band had been in the room next door, going over staging and set lists.
Arlo was the last to leave, his hood pulled over his head. He barely glanced up at me as he exited. I fell into step beside him, Rhys’s words nagging at me.
“What are you doing for Christmas?”
Arlo tripped over nothing. Catching his arm, I steadied him. Was me asking him a question really that much of a surprise?
“Not a lot,” he muttered, his cheeks bright under his hood. “Chilling at home, I guess.”
“You’re not going to be hanging with Luca, Kai or Silas?”
“Nope. They’re all spending the day with their families. Well, Silas will technically be with Kai’s, but he’s basically part of their family.”
I frowned, staring at the backs of the other band members in front of us. “None of them invited you to join them?”
Arlo waved his hand dismissively. “All of them did. I didn’t want to intrude.”
“I doubt they’d think of it as intruding.”
He blew out a frustrated breath. “Despite what you think of me, Jack, I am an adult. I’m perfectly capable of spending a day on my own.”
But it wasn’t just any day. It was Christmas.
Part of me wanted to argue, but from the way Arlo tugged his hood higher on his head, he wasn’t in the mood to listen.
Maybe it was for the best. Worrying about him in this way was probably crossing some boundary in our professional relationship.
So I bit my tongue, keeping my thoughts to myself.
It was Christmas morning and I was due at Mum’s in an hour.
Yet here I was, sat in my driveway. I needed to get going, but something was holding me back.
Not something.
Someone.
For some reason, I couldn’t shake the fact that Arlo was spending today alone. Logically, I knew it was just another day. That he was right when he said he was an adult, capable of making his own decisions.
It wasn’t even like I’d spent every Christmas with my family. Since the age of sixteen, I’d managed to make it home a grand total of three times. While it hadn’t been ideal, it also hadn’t bothered me.
The difference was that I hadn’t been alone. I’d had my friends. My comrades. Christmas on a base or in a war zone wasn’t the same, but at least I hadn’t been alone.
I pictured Arlo sat on his sofa, still in his pyjamas. Would he watch Christmas movies? Eat a festive dinner? Open presents from his bandmates?
Or was he just going to pretend it was a normal day? Ignore the nagging loneliness and try to distract himself?
I drew in a sharp breath. Nope. I couldn’t do this.
Shooting off a quick apologetic text to Mum, I reversed out of my driveway.
Thirty minutes later, I was on Arlo’s doorstep clutching a carrier bag.
I rang the bell, bouncing on my toes to ward off the cold while I waited for Arlo to appear. I had a key, but it didn’t feel right using it. If Arlo genuinely wanted to be alone then I didn’t want to force my company on him.
The door opened a few moments later, Arlo’s face the picture of surprise. He was in jeans and an old T-shirt, his hair sticking up in every direction.
“Merry Christmas, Arlo.”
“Jack? What are you doing here?”
I smiled tentatively. “I was hoping I could join you?”
Arlo gaped at me, the silence stretching longer than I liked.
“I brought food.” I held up the carrier bag. “It’s not much. The only place that was open was the garage, but I managed to grab a few pasties.”
Arlo seemed to find his voice. “You really want to spend today with me?”
His question had me rubbing at a strange ache in my chest. “I do, yeah.”
“Don’t you have a family waiting on you?”
“Nope.” Not a lie, seeing as I’d cancelled on them. “I’m on my own today. So how about we be alone together?”
Arlo stared at me for a beat before he nodded. “I think I’d like that. Come on in.”
He stepped back to let me past. I glanced back over my shoulder to see him grinning at the floor, like he was trying to hide his happiness from me.
Something in me settled. Arlo was happy. I’d made him smile.
Why did that make me feel so good?