Chapter 21 #2
The land. Jamie would make it look as if all he’d wanted had been the land.
Patrick wanted to think that she wouldn’t believe it of him, but after their last conversation, when she’d discovered that he’d witnessed her humiliation, she was vulnerable.
Maybe even vulnerable enough to believe it. “She’ll hate me,” Patrick said dully.
For a moment, he thought he saw a streak of compassion in Campbell’s granite gaze. “Aye, but it’s for the best.”
It might be for the best, but it didn’t stop Patrick from feeling that he’d just had his heart eviscerated from his chest with a rusty, jagged blade.
Never had he felt so empty. It was as if the last light had gone out of him—and the hope that something good might come out of this bungled situation, extinguished.
Chest burning with emotion and not trusting himself to speak, Patrick nodded.
“I’m sorry, lass, but he’s gone,” Jamie said.
No. Every instinct rejected what her brother was saying. It can’t be true.
Lizzie sat in an upstairs chamber of the drover’s inn near Callander, where she’d been awaiting news of Patrick since Jamie’s men had pulled her off him on the field near Balquhidder. Stunned, she stared at her brother. “Tell me again—everything—that he said.”
“I offered him the tenancy of the land near Loch Earn and his freedom if he would repudiate the handfast,” Jamie repeated. “He accepted.”
“Just like that?” He wouldn’t have left me without saying anything.
Though her pride had been wounded by what she’d discovered, his last words had resonated: Can you really doubt my feelings for you?
Deep in her heart, she couldn’t. Lizzie shook her head, refusing to believe it. “You must have misunderstood.”
Patrick would never give up that easily, unless … No. He cares about me.
Poor, pathetic … She wanted to close her eyes and put her hands over her ears to block out the memories. But there was just enough doubt lingering from the discovery that what he’d seen that day might have caused him to target her as an easy mark.
Jamie gave her a sympathetic look, though he would never understand the pain he’d just unwittingly inflicted. “I’m sure he cares for you, lass, but the land was what he wanted—isn’t that what you told me?”
Unable to speak, she nodded. She’d told Jamie what had happened, how Patrick had sought her out for her land. But I didn’t mean it. I thought …
She looked to her brother, hoping to find a kernel of hope to hold on to, but the sympathy in his eyes only made it worse.
Jamie loved her too much. He was so overly protective of her. Her eyes narrowed. “You didn’t force him to agree to this, did you?”
Jamie arched a brow, a wry look on his face, as if he wanted to be offended but knew he couldn’t be. “I didn’t need to.”
Her heart squeezed at the blunt honesty. It hadn’t been only about the land … had it? To the last, she’d wanted to think she’d been wrong about his motives. But he hadn’t stayed to convince her or make her forgive him. “Why didn’t he come see me and tell me himself?”
“I’m sure he thought it would be easier this way. A clean break.”
She made a sharp scoffing sound. A clean break? As if it were something as inconsequential as a bone and not her heart that had been broken. “What if I don’t want a clean break? I have a year—”
“Is that what you want, Lizzie? To drag this out? To run after a man …”
Lizzie sucked in her breath. She gazed up at her brother, horrified.
The blood drained from her face. To run after a man who has made it very clear that I’m not important enough to him.
That was what Jamie was trying to say. Humiliation crawled over her in a mottled flush.
Was that what she’d been doing, throwing herself at a man who didn’t want her?
She’d practically asked him to marry her. Looking back at it now, she saw that her well-constructed argument had been just as much about what she could bring him as it had been about her.
But he said he loved me.
The cold, hard truth hit her square in the chest. Even if he did love her, it hadn’t been enough. He’d taken the land and his freedom and left her behind with nary a fare-thee-well.
Jamie came over to stand beside her, placing his hand on her shoulder consolingly. “With what has happened between our clans, I can’t say I blame him, Lizzie. Can you?”
Tears blurred her eyes, and she shook her head.
She’d been thunderstruck to learn the truth from Jamie.
Patrick’s accusations against her cousin and Colin had been horribly accurate.
Though Jamie had no idea of their cousin’s intentions when he’d negotiated the surrender of Alasdair MacGregor and his men, Archie had played them false and sent them to their deaths.
And just as horribly, Colin was indeed responsible for the rape of Patrick’s sister.
The thought that her own brother …
She shuddered, utterly repulsed and shamed.
The actions of her kinsmen were appalling. After what they did, how could she blame Patrick for not wanting to tie himself to a Campbell?
“You won’t pursue this, will you, Lizzie?” Jamie asked.
Lizzie’s heartbeat drummed in her ears. Everything she’d always wanted was slipping through her fingers like rain through a sieve. A husband. A family. A dream lost. For having been in love, she knew marriage without it would be impossible.
She gazed at her brother through watery eyes, knowing what she had to do. Even if they couldn’t be together, she couldn’t bear the thought of anything happening to him. She would do what she could to keep him safe. “On one condition,” she said thickly.
Jamie eyed her warily. “What’s that?”
“He won’t just have his freedom for now, I want Archie to see to it that he is pardoned in full.”
Jamie gave her a long look and then nodded.
It was done.
Her chest, her throat, and her eyes burned with the knowledge that it was truly over. With a Campbell and a MacGregor, how could any ending other than heartbreak and disappointment ever be possible?
The pain was unbearable: Tears streamed from her eyes, and her shoulders were racked with heart-wrenching sobs torn from the depths of her soul.
Jamie pulled her from her chair and held her against his chest, stroking her hair. “Come, lass, I’ll take you home. You’ll see, you’ll forget about him in no time.”
That’s where Jamie was wrong. Lizzie would never forget about him. She would love Patrick Murray, née MacGregor, for the rest of her life.