Chapter 9 #4
Something was tugging at the edge of his consciousness, and he fought to push it away.
Nothing could stop him from claiming this woman as his own, he was so ready, so desperately starving…
nothing… A small fist pounded at his chest, bringing him floating back slowly to the surface of his mind.
Nothing of course, accept Allia herself.
“Stop!” She was breathing hard, and her cheeks were flushed, her lips red and kiss-swollen. “I said stop, Eian!”
No! Not stop… anything but stop! His own breath came in panting gasps, his body protesting as he loosened his grip. He forced himself to gain some semblance of control. “What is it lass? What’s wrong?”
“I said one kiss.”
He couldn’t help it, he reached for her again, pulling her closer. He was so hard and aching… “But…”
“No.”
Eian drew in a deep breath through clenched teeth, but dropped his hands to his sides, his face etched with confusion and frustration. “Why?” he asked huskily. “At least tell me why.”
She shook her head. “I can’t do this. I thought I could, Eian, but I just can’t.”
Eian relaxed just a little. Maybe she was a little inexperienced, afraid.
He knew about that… knew how to put a woman at ease and then seduce her with his body and his mouth and his hands.
He could drive her wild with lust until she was begging for him to take her.
His stomach suddenly twisted into a knot.
Somehow, that would be so very wrong with Allia.
Somehow, just getting what his body needed would never be enough.
He wanted… something else. Something more.
Everything she could give him. He wanted nothing less than her heart… her love.
“Allia, I… I would no’… I mean, I would be gentle wi’ ye… we could go slower… I’ll only kiss ye for now lass, ye taste so good…”
Allia struggled to stop herself from falling back into his arms, because right now, she wanted nothing more. “No. You don’t understand. This is about trust. About me not wanting to be…. I don’t want to be just another one of your women, Eian.”
She had thought that maybe she could use him just as he was bound to use her, but after that kiss…
she knew she was already in way too deep.
If she let herself get any closer to him, she would fall so fast and so hard she might never recover.
And right now that scared her out of her mind.
If she gave herself to him, it would be the most incredible experience of her life.
But when he got bored with her and moved on…
she would be like a shell of the person she once was.
How could she ever move on from that? He had the power to shatter her heart into a million tiny pieces that she could never hope to put back together.
He was just that good, and she was just that much already in love with him.
Her instinct for self-preservation was telling her to run as fast and as far as she could, but her heart was telling her to rip off all his clothes and make love to him until they both collapsed.
How could she ever reconcile such extremes of emotion?
And yes, she was tired, too. The adrenaline from their escape was wearing off, replaced by a bone deep weariness.
Eian eased himself away from her, battling his most primal instincts, even though his entire body was on fire, burning for her as if she had set a spark to dry tinder.
Anger welled up from somewhere deep inside, though whether it was anger at himself or her, he didn’t know.
What he did know was that he’d give up every single one of those other women, every last meaningless tup and empty kiss, to have Allia just once.
Just one damn time! Why could she not see that?
“They meant nothing to me”, he told her earnestly. “Nothing.”
She shook her head. “That’s just the problem, Eian. I want to be more than nothing.”
His hands fisted at his sides. Hell, he couldn’t do this!
All of the sweet words of promise and seduction that had fallen so easily from his lips for so long were worthless now.
Hollow. False. Right now, he was so far out of his usual depth that he just might drown.
For once, he had no idea what to say to get what he wanted…
what he needed. And damn but he had never needed this badly before.
With a sigh, he held up his hands in defeat, afraid that he might end up saying something he would regret.
He could figure this out, he just needed a little more time to think.
“Then let’s at least put some more ground behind us tonight.
I’ll take ye back to Lochain. Back to yer uncle.
We can get to ken one another better, and then ye can decide. ”
She nodded slowly. “All right. Thank you. And Eian…”
“Aye lass?”
She stood on her tiptoes and gave him a soft kiss on his cheek. “Thank you for the rescue. You saved my life back there. I won’t forget it.”
He gave her a long look. “Allia love, I could do no less.”
After helping her onto Dair’s strong back, Eian swung up behind her and took up the reins.
He felt the slight tremble of her fragile body and pulled her gently to rest against him, suddenly feeling like an ass.
The lass had just been kidnapped and very nearly raped, and the first thing he had done was press her for much more than the kiss she had willingly given.
What the hell had he been thinking? He hadn’t, at least not with his brain.
Not only that, but she was far too precious to be taken on the forest floor by a man overcome with lust and still covered in the blood of the men he had slain to get to her.
He gently stroked her hair with one hand, and she relaxed against his chest with a sigh.
Eian knew he should wait until he could lay her down on a soft bed and worship her with his body the way she deserved.
He didn’t think she was still a maid, because Bren’s wife was also raised in the 21st century, and she had told them many stories, including how women of that time enjoy many of the same freedoms as men.
When he thought of Allia with another man, he felt like killing someone, so he tried not to think about it.
Especially since the man was surely far out of his reach, so there was nothing he could do about it.
Virgin or no, he would erase all other men from her mind, until she wanted only him, needed only him. He would give her anything…
He knew the moment she fell asleep in his arms, her breath deepening and her body relaxing against his.
It felt…peaceful, and so he rode for a little while longer just like that, breathing in the sweet scent of her hair, basking in her trust. The sun was getting low in the sky and it would soon be too dark for Dair to safely pick his way through the thick forest, so when they came to a sheltered, grassy glade, Eian decided to stop for the night.
When the horse came to a halt, Allia woke with a little gasp and sat up straight, looking around with wild eyes.
Then she seemed to remember where she was, and who she was with. She looked up at him.
“Where are we?”
“We’ll rest here for the night. It’ll be safe enough with a few wards to warn us of anyone’s approach, but I willna risk a fire.
” He swung down and then lifted her effortlessly from the saddle, leading her to sit on a nearby log while he tended the horse for the night.
He gave Dair some oats from his saddle bag, and whispered soothing words of praise to him as he brushed the animal down.
Then he went into the woods a little ways to set the wards.
He returned to Allia a short time later carrying a woolen blanket from the saddle bag, which he spread out over a patch of soft grass.
“Come and lie down, lass. Ye must be tired.”
“I am”, Allia admitted. She rose from her seat, her muscles protesting with stiffness from the tension she had been holding in them the last couple of days.
She made her way to the blanket and lay down, stretching out her aching limbs with a sigh.
A moment later, Eian lay down beside her, and her body began to tense up again, even though he wasn’t touching her in any way.
Having him lying beside her made her belly clench with excitement, and a little tremor of anticipation skittered down her spine.
Although she still didn’t completely trust him, the fact that he had risked his own life to find her was a big point in his favor.
And he was the only reason she had come back…
because she just hadn’t been able to imagine not seeing him again.
Now she was here. They were together, and this was no time to chicken out, as she had when things got out of control with that kiss.
In truth, it had felt so good that she had been afraid she would sell her soul if he would just never stop kissing her. But they needed to talk to one another, openly and honestly, if this was ever going to go anywhere. She couldn’t help it. She had been raised in the 21st century, after all.
She turned to look at the man beside her.
In the pale light between dusk and dark, she could just make out his face.
He was on his side, leaning on one elbow, and watching her with those fathomless brown eyes and their dark, almost pretty lashes.
She took a deep breath before she spoke; best just to get it over with.
“Eian, I… I want to tell you something. About where I come from.”
He smiled. “Ah. Ye mean how ye have that strange sexy accent, not quite English… not quite Scottish either? I had wondered about that…” He took her hand in his and looked at her expectantly. “Tell me.”
“You might not believe me”, she warned, finding it hard to concentrate when he was touching her.