Chapter 12 #2
She looked at the ground, but couldn’t deny the truth that burned in her like a thousand flames. “Yes.”
“Because he’s yer soul mate, lass, yer other half! Ye canna leave, the both of ye will be miserable. It will be no life for ye at all, both of ye longing for the other, ye’ll go mad with it.”
“But Eian…”
He rolled his eyes. “Aye lass, the lad has tried my patience too. For years. He was wrong, of course, to walk away from ye with no word, but I can tell ye this: whatever ye’re suffering right now, he’s feeling it ten-fold. He’ll be back to make things right. He can do nothing less.”
Allia hesitated when Dirc offered her his hand, but then she took it, and he pulled her out of the circle and back towards the road to Lochain. She took a deep, shuddering breath, but for the first time since that awful morning, she felt… hopeful. Maybe, just maybe…
She didn’t know if Leon had noticed her returning to the castle with Dirc, or had even noticed she was gone for the last several hours.
Since she had hand-fasted with Eian, he had called off her guards, and had since either forgotten to reinstate them, or hadn’t bothered.
After all, she was more or less ruined in the eyes of society at this point.
Needing some fresh air and space to think before she saw Leon again, Allia wandered off into the hills, where she had always felt some measure of peace.
As she walked through the heather, she realized that she was unconsciously making her way to the cave where she and Eian had first met.
Her heart clenched at the memory. How terrified she had been, dropped so suddenly into a new life that she didn’t understand.
And how cavalier, believing she could hold the man at a safe distance when just the sight of him had made her want to dive head first into the gorgeous magic and passion that was Eian Mac Coinnach and lose herself there forever.
Two huge tears escaped and rolled down her cheeks as she came to the entrance of the cave.
This time, she didn’t hesitate to go in.
Just within the opening, she found a torch and flint that Eian must have left there.
Maybe he had planned to come back, or maybe he just hadn’t needed them anymore.
Blinking back the tears, Allia struck the flint until she managed to light the torch, then started into the cave.
Maybe this time she would even swim in the pool.
***
Eian was almost there. He had walked for days, and had run whenever the treacherous landscape allowed it.
He had slept little, eaten even less, and fretted constantly that he would be too late, or that he had lost Allia for good.
He kept going with single-minded purpose, knowing in his heart that he would rather die than live a life without her.
She was his mate. Without her, he would never be whole again.
Nothing else mattered until he had her back safe in his arms.
Finally, as he reached the top of the hill he had been climbing, he could see the castle towers of Lochain rising up like beacons in the little valley below.
He paused and took a deep breath, hoping to hell and back that Allia was still there, and knowing that even if she was, his fate with her was still uncertain.
She had every right to be angry, but if she didn’t take him back, he was going to spend the rest of his life wanting her with every bone of his body, and aye, begging.
Just as he was about to start down the hill towards the castle, he caught a movement out of the corner of his eye.
Farther down the slope, a figure was ducking into what had to be the entrance to that cave where he had found the charm.
He did not even have to see the feminine curves and length of silky golden hair to know who it was.
Allia. When his stomach flipped and his heart nearly burst with joy just at the sight of her, he knew for certain Alistair had been right: no magic spell, no matter how strong, could have this amount of power over him.
It could only be his heart’s own desire.
Allia stepped into the large chamber of the cave and stuck the torch into a crack in the rocks, just as Eian had done before.
Even without the torch, there was a dim shaft of sun coming from the fissure above that made the chamber glow faintly with an eerie golden light.
She made her way over to the pool, which by virtue of how the rocks had formed, was raised a bit off of ground level, almost like a bath tub.
She leaned over and trailed her fingers through the perfectly still water, as she had once before.
The water was slightly warmer than the air in the chamber.
Maybe she could bathe while she was here.
Hot running water… how she missed it… it took so long to fill a tub with buckets from the kitchen, and she hated that the maids had to carry them up all of those stairs.
So most days she forewent a bath and washed in a basin with a cloth.
She reached for the laces of her gown, but stopped and turned sharply at the sound of footsteps scuffing over the rock at the entrance to the chamber. She held her breath, hardly daring to look, and suddenly, he was there.
Eian had come back. For an instant she was overcome with the urge to run into his arms, but then she remembered how badly he had hurt her, and the pain and anger she thought she had forgotten welled up sharp and fresh to drown out the joy of seeing him again.
And, she reminded herself, she didn’t know why he was here.
He might not have come back for her at all.
Maybe he was just visiting the cave, and in the next moment he might turn around and leave again in disgust at her parentage.
She steeled herself, wishing that Eian Mac Coinnach didn’t still hold the power to tear her apart all over again.
Her gorgeous bad-boy. She had always known how devastating he would be.
She watched, waiting with her heart in her throat while she looked him over.
He looked, in truth, as if he’d just been through a war.
He was smudged with dirt, and his shirt was torn in several places.
His beautiful hair was a mass of tangles, and his face looked pale and drawn, as if he hadn’t slept.
He was thinner too, but no less muscular.
The light from the torch threw flickering shadows across his face as he gazed at her, making it hard to read his expression.
She held her breath, and had the strange sense that he was holding his too.
Slowly, he walked across the chamber until he stood within a few feet.
His mouth was set in a firm line, and his dark eyes held a wild determination the likes of which she had never seen before.
Her heart pounded in her chest as she waited for him to speak.
Would he accuse her of the worst? Of betraying him and their bond?
Seeing him now, she suddenly didn’t think she’d survive if he did.
Time seemed to stand still as the moment stretched out impossibly long…
Then, the proud Eian Mac Coinnach dropped to his knees before her, his head bent to the ground.
Allia’s mouth fell open in surprise, and she quickly snapped it shut as he knelt before her in supplication. Was he really offering up everything, even his pride, for a chance to make things right? God, please let it be so! “Eian?” she said softly.
He looked up at her, his face serious, his eyes pleading. “God, Allia. I’m sorry. I was a fool to doubt ye, even for a moment.”
She regarded him coolly, wanting to pull him into her arms and forgive him that very second, but knowing she needed to wait.
Her heart was soaring, but her pride was every bit as important as his, and this moment could very well frame the whole of their relationship from now on, assuming they could make things right again.
She had to let him know how she would not be treated.
But to keep from smiling when happiness threatened to completely overcome her was not an easy task.
All she managed to do for several long seconds was look down at him steadily.
He took a shaky breath and started again.
“I ken that ye may never forgive me, but I’m asking ye for another chance, lass.
Give me another chance and I swear I will prove to ye that ye are everything to me.
I will never doubt it again, what we have together.
This time away from ye… it was hell on earth. I never, ever want to do that again.”
Allia forced herself to look away and furrow her brow as if she were considering his words, but wasn’t quite certain if she should believe him. But she did. And she was dying to fall into his arms and feel whole again.
Eian, for all his years of practice at wooing the fairer sex, didn’t have the words to say all that he was feeling in that moment. Nothing he said would even come close, but still he had to try.
"I love ye", he told her, because it was true.
He never thought he would say those words to a woman, had never wanted to.
Now those three words meant everything to him.
They meant a future, a family, a soul mate to share it all with.
Things he had never even known he wanted, and now he wanted them so badly he ached with it.
Allia was still gazing at him, but now she looked uncertain. For that, he could hardly blame her. He rose to his feet, reaching out to take her hands in his and feel the familiar spark flow through him, relieved when she didn’t pull away from him.
"I have never said those words to another, lass.
And on my honor, I never will again. All of my life before ye was.
.. well, it had no meaning. Now... now I finally feel whole.
I swear to ye, on my verra life's blood, I never truly lived until I met ye.
And now, I canna live without ye. I just… I canna."