Chapter Six #4
Great question. He wasn’t sure himself. Eloquent little girls were more powerful than he’d thought. “Jenny’s tired of me eating garbage all the time. Before I had her convinced that was just the way it was in prison, but thanks to your little snitch of a husband, she now knows that’s a lie.”
Eli laughed. Samuel wasn’t sure he would. He’d never really tested the theory, but he had a feeling that the fastest way to piss the man off was to shit-talk his family. “So now you want me to fix it.”
“If you don’t make it edible, I’m telling Nathaniel you have shower orgies here.”
“Go ahead. You’ll make his day.”
In the end, sardines couldn’t be made to taste like a Reese’s cup.
At least, not with the resources Eli had at his disposal, and that fact seemed to frustrate Eli more than it did anyone else.
There were many apologies before the bowl was finally handed over, but the result wasn’t bad.
He’d been prepared to choke it down without chewing if he had to, and had the bonus satisfaction of watching Eli tuck into his own serving with an almost-enthusiasm.
But it wasn’t the food. Not really. Hailey was right. It was the company Eli liked.
The proof came when they were washing their makeshift dishes off in the bathroom together.
He was drying the bowls with paper towels when he heard it.
There were no words, and it only lasted a few seconds, but a sound like warming honey came from Eli.
Not quite a song, more like humming. Samuel’s hands stopped to listen, but by then it was already over, and he thought he might have imagined it.
He handed his reply to Hailey directly to Warden Cruces.
“We have a mailbox,” she told him in that voice she used when she was sharing information he was already well-aware of.
Still, he pushed the letter into the stack of papers she was always ferrying around.
The prison “mailbox” was handled by bored COs who had nothing better to do than gossip about the letters they had to look through, supposedly for reasons of prison security.
If he had to have his mail read, he’d rather it be done by the warden who, at least, wouldn’t go around with it for show and tell.
“Anything in here I have to be concerned about, Fuller?” she asked.
“No.”
And then, right there in front of him, she sealed it. “You going to be bothering me with more of these in the future?”
He stared at the letter. He knew it could be for show. That she could rip it open later if she wanted. But she wouldn’t, and it was making him panic a little. “Probably.”
“Then seal them yourself. I’m not your secretary.”
She’d broken prison rules for him before.
Had even put her job on the line for him once.
But that had been to save his life. This.
.. The courtesy was nothing much in the scheme of things, and yet the small privacy she granted him with the gesture might have been worth more to him than anything she’d done before. “Thank you.”
She almost smiled. “Stay out of trouble, Fuller,” she said, and tucked his letter more securely into her pile.
The next letter came just as quickly as the first.
Dear Samuel,
Ingredients aren’t a recipe. I need DIRECTIONS.
How old are the bananas supposed to be? Are they meant to be blended or just mashed with a fork?
Which ingredients get added first? You didn’t even give me an oven temperature!
Besides, I’m pretty sure I’ve seen him add in other flavorings besides vanilla.
Plus, I wanted the variation with the coconut oil instead of the butter.
I told Thaniel about your failure and he says hot guys don’t need to be competent, just pose moodily in doorways. Yeah, he’s weird.
I guess I’ll have to get the recipe myself when I come and visit.
Mom doesn’t look like she plans to budge on the no-prisons-for-impressionable-young-ladies rule any time soon, but I’ve been reading a book on debate tactics.
Any advice? What do you do when you want to change people’s opinions?
Thaniel says people believe what they want to believe, but that’s too depressing.
I’m sorry to hear daddy isn’t sleeping. Have you tried reading to him?
Thaniel does that sometimes when he gets Tired-but-Wired.
It seems to help. He likes sappy books with happy endings.
I tried telling him those aren’t true to life, but he only says, “It’s true about my life” and then kisses Thaniel, because he’s ALWAYS kissing him.
I used to tell him doing stuff like that in front of me was child abuse, but now I’d let them be ten times as gross if only he’d come home.
Okay, maybe not ten times. I’d probably die.
Also, thank you for adding Thaniel to your visitor list! Before he would only try to make himself presentable on the days he went to visit daddy, but he showered every day this week, and I think he’s having fun making you a book list.
Now, to answer to your questions:
No, I don’t have any pets. I was supposed to get a dog for my twelfth birthday, but now I think I should wait until daddy gets home.
I feel like if he came back and the dog didn’t know him, he’d feel like we moved on without him.
The only language I speak well is English, but daddy speaks to me a bit in French sometimes, and Thaniel taught me a few Latin phrases so I can sound smart when adults are being pretentious.
The one he uses the most is “Ex nihilo nihil fit,” when I’m feeling lazy.
I like school most of the time. And I know why you asked.
Because of the bully thing I mentioned, right?
Well don’t worry about me. I only have to worry about Jemma Woodson, and you have a lot more to deal with.
Do you really have someone named One-ball?
I overheard daddy telling Thaniel on the phone.
Daddy and Thaniel met five years ago, and in December they’ll have their fourth wedding anniversary.
They were supposed to go to France after Thaniel’s semester ended, but that’s no longer happening, obviously.
Daddy tried to convince Thaniel to go there anyway and take Uncle Darren, but Thaniel wouldn’t hear of it.
He says he only gets a few hours a week to see daddy, and he’s not going to miss any of them.
Also, I think France is too full of memories for him.
It’s where they went for their honeymoon.
Yes, I do have a sibling! A brother named Kevin.
He’s only three, and he’s suuuuuper cute.
He looks so much like mommy, and he cries when I leave to go to daddy’s.
Isaac tried suggesting that I stay home full time now that Daddy’s in prison.
As if Thaniel isn’t my father too! I told him that maybe I’d stay with Thaniel full time until Daddy got out.
That shut him up fast. But I can’t do that to Kevin.
I wish I could take him with me when I go.
I asked once, but mommy wouldn’t hear of it.
I don’t get why. Kevin likes daddy a lot.
He doesn’t see him often, but sometimes mommy will drop him off if she can’t find a babysitter, or she used to.
She stopped after she and Isaac went to Hawaii in April.
Kevin and I stayed with Daddy and Thaniel for over two weeks.
It was great. But then Kevin cried when it was time to leave, and he still asks about when he’ll get to go visit daddy.
Isaac hates when he says stuff like that, which I don’t think is fair.
Daddy doesn’t get offended when I mention Isaac.
All the politics of living in two houses is lame, but at least I get Thaniel and Uncle Darren out of it.
I think that was all your questions, and this letter is getting long again.
Why did you type yours? Do you not like your handwriting?
Thaniel says he writes like a chicken with Parkinsons, but I kind of like it.
Daddy does too, though he pretends he’s studying ancient hieroglyphics whenever he comes across one of Thaniel’s grocery lists.
I really liked your letter. Most adults dumb themselves down to talk to me, but you don’t.
I know I started all this as a way to get information on daddy, but do you want to be friends?
I know you’re not supposed ask like that, but I don’t have a lot of practice with friendship, and I didn’t want to make assumptions.
Be safe.
Your probationary friend,
Hailey
He was still staring at the letter when Eli came to collect him for dinner.
They ate all their meals together now. All he’d needed to do after the first meal was wake up and say, “What’s for breakfast?
” and by lunchtime Eli came to find him with a breezy, “You hungry?” and just like that it was a habit.
He didn’t notice Eli when he first came into the dorm. He looked up because the shitty light flickered, and there he was, leaning against the doorless-doorway with a soft smile. “That from Hailey?”
For a moment he was afraid Eli would ask to see it.
There wasn’t anything incriminating in the letter, but he knew, with real certainty, that Hailey wouldn’t want her father’s eyes on it.
But Eli didn’t ask to see it. “Thaniel said she read your letter first thing after getting back from school—before even taking her shoes off. And then a second time before bed, and then again at the breakfast table. I’m not sure if I should smack you or kiss you. ”
He hoped the question was rhetorical. “I’m hungry.”
Eli’s smile spread. “Of course you are.”