Chapter Eleven #3
He followed without a thought. He’d become so accustomed to being by the man’s side he hardly needed to be prompted.
It didn’t really matter where they went, so long as they stayed together, but he recognized the path to the laundry room.
It made sense. They’d dropped off some stuff that morning, and thanks to Eli’s help with Ernie’s psoriasis, they usually had express service with their clothes.
But Eli stopped while they were still in the hallway, and Samuel, whose head was up in the clouds, nearly walked into him.
Before he could think to ask what was wrong, Eli whirled around to face him. “If anything happens while I’m in here, you’ll take care of Nathaniel, right?”
Only inches separated their bodies, and this close he could see the tiny scar that hinted at a long-ago nose ring.
He was instantly suspicious. “Did you start something? Who is it? One of the predators?”
“What? No, I meant in general. Just in case. ”
But his wariness was already too high to be downgraded. “Was it Racer? I saw him looking at you in the shower yesterday. Did he touch you? Threaten you?”
“When would he have had the opportunity? I’ve been surgically attached to you since—look, will you do it or not?”
“Do what?”
“Take my place in case something happens.”
“Take your—What do you mean ‘take your place?’ What am I supposed to do, marry him?”
“If that’s what he wants.”
“ What ?”
Eli pinched the bridge of his nose. “Just tell me you will, and that’s the end of it. Needless to say, the reverse holds true. If anything ever happened to you—not that I would ever let it—Jenny would become a part of our family.”
The offer was like getting smacked in the face with a donut. He loved donuts, and they were always welcome, but a little warning before launching would have been nice.
“She would?”
The expression that bloomed on Eli’s face was a comical mix of surprise and insult. “Just what kind of man do you take me for?”
He couldn’t answer that without revealing a lot of complicated feelings, so he didn’t try. “I don’t like you talking about bad things happening.”
Eli rolled his eyes, but he still settled a warm hand on the back of his neck. “No one does. I’m just trying to be prepared, that’s all.”
He wished Eli would push him away. The man’s shoulder was right there and seemed to be exerting a kind of magnetic force on him. All he could think about was pushing his face into it. “How can I protect Nathaniel from in here?”
“You won’t always be in here. Another five years or so, that’s what Jenny seems to think.”
He told himself to say nothing, but that shoulder was a little too mesmerizing. All his powers of self-control were going into resisting it. “Most days it feels like this is forever. Like I’ll die in here.”
The hand on the back of his neck tightened. “You won’t. You’d only just be thirty. Younger than I am now.”
The shoulder was so close. If he were shorter, he’d have been on it already. “I don’t feel young.”
Eli sighed, then his arm came up and fulfilled his dream, pulling him in until the circle was complete.
It was dangerous to be hugged like that.
Ever since the discovery of his working penis, Eli had become public enemy number one.
But he couldn’t pull away, nor did he want to.
He closed his eyes and let himself experience what Nathaniel must have felt every day.
Eli was so big he made problems seem small.
So big you could almost forget you didn’t deserve him.
“I’ll take care of Nathaniel,” he finally said, though he wasn’t sure how far into the hug it happened.
He was shocked by how long it was lasting.
He’d never been able to trust his weight to anyone like this—except maybe to his father when he’d been younger.
“And Hailey,” he added, “plus Darren, though he’d probably die before he’d let me do it. ”
Eli laughed. “You should have seen how he reacted to me. For the first year, he either called me a cheater or a home-wrecker. I’m not even sure he learned my name until after Than and I got married.”
He knotted his fingers in Eli’s shirt. He wasn’t sure when he’d made the conscious decision to wrap his arms around the man.
It might have happened on its own. “I don’t know how well I could do it.
With my time here, I might only be able to get a job flipping burgers after this.
But I’d be there until they had enough of me. I promise.”
“No burgers. You’ve got a duty to perform. According to Hailey, you’re going to win a Newbery Medal.”
He was glad his face was hidden. How could Eli say such an embarrassing thing, even as a joke?
“I’m sure parents all around the world want their children reading books written by a murderer.
” After Hailey had learned about his writing, she’d begged him for samples, and he’d sent them to her—only to her.
He sometimes imagined reading the stories to a young Jenny or even a younger version of himself—a version with a normal childhood.
In truth, he’d never expected to share the words with another living person, but Hailey’s loneliness made him want to give her friends.
It was his first time drawing anything since donning the orange jumpsuit.
“You’re not a murderer.”
“I killed a man.”
“You killed a predator. It was self-defense.”
It had him breaking the hug without meaning to. “Jenny told you?”
Eli smiled at him. A sharp yet soft smile that pulled at his ribs and prickled his skin. “She didn’t have to.”